What's an alternative to telling a guy you need things to slow down a little?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2015 8:40 PM GMT
    Anytime I tell a guy that I need things to slow down just a little or just need a tiny bit of space it becomes an absolute showstopper. Hearts break, radio silence commences and they literally take it in the most dramatic interpretation.

    Its tough because many of these guys are great guys that I actually like hanging out with, I just want a tiny bit more space. Like I don't need the "how is your day?" daily text or the "morning handsome" daily text or the "nite sexy man" daily text. Nor the expectation that we are exclusively dating after having known each other for just 3 weeks. What works for you guys?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 15, 2015 8:54 PM GMT
    I'll admit if someone told me to take things slow I would lose interest. I just wouldn't get what they're waiting for. They'd probably think I was too freaky anyway lol.
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    Dec 15, 2015 10:19 PM GMT
    theantijock%20engage%20stalker%20reducti

    Could be you're putting out a lesbian vibe.

    Just tell them you don't text. Let them know that you're only accepting phone calls at this time.
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    Dec 15, 2015 10:31 PM GMT
    Tell him you don't want too much of a good thing. You want to keep it fresh by dating. Make a point of WHEN you want to see him next. Back in SD I had a "Thursday Guy".

    Sort of a 1/7th boyfriend.
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    Dec 16, 2015 1:17 AM GMT
    Ask him to marry you. That will scare him into backing off.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Dec 16, 2015 2:44 AM GMT
    woodfordr saidAnytime I tell a guy that I need things to slow down just a little or just need a tiny bit of space it becomes an absolute showstopper. Hearts break, radio silence commences and they literally take it in the most dramatic interpretation.

    Its tough because many of these guys are great guys that I actually like hanging out with, I just want a tiny bit more space. Like I don't need the "how is your day?" daily text or the "morning handsome" daily text or the "nite sexy man" daily text. Nor the expectation that we are exclusively dating after having known each other for just 3 weeks. What works for you guys?


    You have probably just touched down on THE 'you'll be damned if you do, and you'll be damned if you don't#1' among the gay gays.

    The moment you start saying that you need to slow down a bit, need some space, do not want to txt compulsively, the guys are running for the hills. Any of the aforementioned expressions really means 'break up phase 1' in our worldsicon_rolleyes.gif

    I have had some if very limited success by saying that I'll have to go into the radio silence due to the workload here, the fact that all my cell phones are on the desk, and that incessant beeping and texting may not be setting the best example, etc., in exchange for a fixed date on a specific day.

    I also make few secrets about my workload, and explain from the very beginning of every dating that I am looking forward to dating another independent guy who understands that I will have to be gone at times, for up to 3 or even 4 weeks. Yup, we can phone occasionally, txt, Skype, etc. but it all has to stay tame due to the workload at hand. That's how it is.

    This 'openness' has almost invariably stopped the dudes who are envisioning dating as the central event of their days, day in, day out. And it has weeded out the guys who always wanted to spend every waking hour of their lives with their partner, too.

    SC

  • oldfart

    Posts: 328

    Dec 16, 2015 2:37 PM GMT
    Don't date drama queens.