Christmas: Do you celebrate Christmas or any other holiday around the month of December?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2015 6:05 AM GMT
    So I'm just curious as to how many gay guys out there celebrate christmas or any other related holiday around the month of December.

    Long story first. I need to give some back history before I can get to the question.

    For me, Christmas has been a very depressing time of year, especially in my teen and early adult years. As a child there were some really great christmas times, and some really bad ones, but overall, I really like christmas. I got excited every year when the time came around.

    I was raised religious, christian, specifically Seventh Day Adventist. If you don't know much about that, google, or check out some books from a library, or go to a book store and look it up, you'll find tons of information. But I digress.

    As I got older, and when I would spend the holiday with my mom, she was in the christmas mood some years, and other years, she just wanted to follow a strict SDA christmas, not a lot of presents, no tree, or very little in the way of decorations. Again, she was flip floppy and I never was sure where she stood on celebrations, so it was hit or miss. Sometimes I got excited just because it was the time of year, and I was excited for the time off from school and she would ruin and say that we weren't doing christmas because she didn't have the money and didn't want to spend it on material things.

    This only got worse as I got older and didn't have split holidays with my dad.-->>

    SIDESTORY: My parents divorced in 1998 I think, so we had to split every holiday up. One year for the holidays was spent with my dad, and the other with my mom.

    -->> We started celebrating christmas less and she was always in a depressing mood, and kind shot down any holiday spirit I had. She mad religion and church the focal point of the holiday and didn't focus on anything other than the nativity scene in the bible, that was christmas for us. Sometimes we went caroling in the snow around town with the church, and drive around to look at holiday lights. WE never put any up, just admired what other people had.

    As I got into my older teens and young adult years christmas was even more of a hit or miss. We often had donations or sometimes my mom would get me stuff that I needed for my apartment when I did move out, or just one small item, but she never made it a fun time, it was usually boring and I had to suffer though bible reading and tv watching just to get though the time I had off from school.

    Once I reached adulthood, christmas almost became nonexistent to me. I eventually got gift cards I couldn't use, or cheap disposable cameras or $5 in cash. At that point, I pretty much gave up on anyone caring about christmas. I would unwrap something lame and have to sit an watch others enjoy the time with their family and usually get showered in stuff that they didn't need or were spoiled with.

    Once I came out, it was even worse. I was basically just with mom at the time, so I wasn't out in the cold by myself.

    I'm in my late 20's now and I don't ever have the money to celebrate christmas, and generally don't decorate because I don't have people over, and don't have the time to do such for nothing. I don't put any real value on christmas for any reason except spending time with my mom and sister--which is usually religious in nature and boring to say the least. She told me that she wants to do a gift exchange in March when she gets her taxes back.

    I like buy stuff during the holiday time when things are cheaper and I can get better deals for stuff that I want, but lately I haven't had the money, so I just do what I can when I can. By march, I won't care anymore, and I will have already boughten what I wanted by that time.

    I don't value or put emphasis on christmas anymore. I don't really celebrate it anymore in the context that many others do, and I can't wait until I don't hear christmas anymore. To me, it's for white straight families with money to blow and who are religious and need an extra excuse to worship their god--no other religion does this, except christian religions.

    I think it's too commercialized and advertised and I'm over that part. Part of being an adult I guess.

    So my question is,

    How many gay guys out there celebrate christmas? Do you like it, or do you hate it?

    If you like it, what do you like about it?

    If you hate it, why?

    Do you value family, or do you just like the time off?

    Do you spend it alone?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2015 6:14 AM GMT
    Dude, its the solstice. All cultures celebrate it. The death cults just try to coopt it.
    If you want tradition, saturnalia makes a nice gay party, as long as you don't take it too seriously.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2015 6:25 AM GMT
    I try to be flexible and enjoy it.

    I've spent Christmas days alone and without money. Others alone and at the office to work or the gym, or dinner at a Chinese restaurant. But others have been very joyous, where I put up a tree and prepared a big Turkey dinner for friends and family.

    My favorite Christmas thing is buying presents, followed by putting lights and decorations up. Some day, you'll have a SO and hopefully look forward to buying them a gift or two.

    What I like the best is annual ritual aspect. I spend a few minutes reflecting on Christmas of past years. It's a time marker in your life. I thank each year for whatever I have, with my good health being the best gift of all.
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    Dec 16, 2015 6:29 AM GMT
    jjohnson88 said
    To me, it's for white straight families with money to blow and who are religious and need an extra excuse to worship their god--no other religion does this, except christian religions.

    I think it's too commercialized and advertised and I'm over that part. Part of being an adult I guess.

    So my question is,

    How many gay guys out there celebrate christmas? Do you like it, or do you hate it?
    If you like it, what do you like about it?
    If you hate it, why?
    Do you value family, or do you just like the time off?
    Do you spend it alone?


    6851fc8cde135d307c1fd0e0ab1634cd.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2015 6:43 AM GMT
    You hit the nail on the head! I was just telling a friend last month that the holidays are so geared toward WHITE STRAIGHT FAMILIES. So clearly, this isn't just me.

    It's time for a reawakening. Christmas should have went out back in the 90s. Not the meaning, but the fad.. To me it's very 90s because as many of my elders have passed on and died, there's no longer any big Christmas celebrations anymore. I think too..Christmas depends a lot of where you are in your genealogical time frame. If you're an old grandma, with 5 or 6 grownup kids who also have kids, and their kids have kids...she is not going to sit and be alone for Christmas. Her kids are going to make sure their kids see grandma. That's how it always was, is and will be...until one day grandma dies and the family fight over money and the attorneys try to get their hands on and rob the estate...then, someone else has to be grandma. But that can take a whole generation.

    We can't let the media and white America dictate our happiness. The same things they market to straight white families, is the same thing they market to white gay men. That the white man and Santa Claus is the master race, one who brings all joy and happiness. Please.

    To answer the questions: Christmas has consistently been the WORSE time of year for me. The weather sucks, I'm usually battling seasonal illnesses (I've been suffering from respiratory problems on and off since October and it's only gotten worse), I'm usually broke, my clients aren't coming in/cancelling, and most times my dating life is insecure.

    The good news is, posts like JJohnsons lets people know that you're not alone. And you don't feel have to feel magically cheerful this time of year. I don't really know what to say, but I'm willing to open my arms to any lonely gay guy out there who feels alone this time of year.

    I also don't buy into ANY of the religious meanings of Christmas. I believe in Christ and the Savior, but Christmas is a Pagan holiday that is so far skewed from the meaning. So even well meaning Christians need to get off that. The bible never even instructed us to have a yearly ceremony of the Virgin Mary of the birth of Christ. It should be a year round thing.

    Christmas should be changed to voluntary family/friends gift exchange day and kept as that. Don't try to include Christ in all this holly jolly fat fucker bullshit.




  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 16, 2015 6:48 AM GMT
    I celebrate and while there have been a few disappointing ones, perhaps I had just as much fault in that they were disappointing. Make your own traditions and find peace in them.
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    Dec 16, 2015 1:56 PM GMT
    Stop wallowing in self pity and volunteer your time to those who are truly unfortunate at this time of year. Check with your local churches or soup kitchen. You need a reality check. You're whole post is centered around what you didn't have. You're a glass half empty sort of guy. Aren't you?

    I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man with no feet.

    Also around my town there are a myriad of free things to do that center around the holiday season like concerts and caroling. Look for those things to attend.

    You're putting too much emphasis on the commercial Christmas and not the Christmas that should be in your heart which unfortunately you allowed your family to kill long ago. You need to find away to resurrect it. You're an adult now. Take control of your Christmas and life.

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    Dec 16, 2015 2:01 PM GMT
    My view of Christmas has changed over time. I'm no longer as excited about it as I was when I was growing up. I get the gift-giving part of it, but Christmas has become such a gigantic profit-making enterprise that it's true spirit and meaning have been largely ignored. My Christmas nowadays is between me and my God, and everyone or everything else takes a cameo role.
  • jeepguySD

    Posts: 651

    Dec 16, 2015 3:34 PM GMT
    I stopped looking forward to Christmas when I stopped getting Tonka toys and HO train sets. I will sometimes engage in the social conventions of Christmas for the sake of my loved ones, but otherwise Christmas has little meaning for me.

    I do, however, note the passage of the Winter Solstice and I look forward to lengthening days.
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    Dec 16, 2015 3:35 PM GMT
    Christmas is definitely a way to make profits but this is capitalism. Not many things in life for free. Even when I rekindled a friendship with a close friend On christmas day in 2011, that shit still cost me $2.25 for metrocard.

    I don't really buy into the hype of christmas like before but I can enjoy it for what it is. My baby nephew is around 5 now so I'm letting him help decorate the christmas tree. Can't wait for him to bake those cookies for santa claus icon_wink.gif

    In addition, most of my friends are free during this time so I get to spend some time with them and catch up. Maybe this is due to us being in our mid 20's but I usually bring in the new year with my close circle of friends. Been doing that for 3 years now so it's always something to look forward to.

    I don't know how Portland is, but maybe find a group event on meetup for christmas and check it out. You may like it.



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    Dec 16, 2015 3:54 PM GMT
    tmac saidChristmas is definitely a way to make profits but this is capitalism. Not many things in life for free. Even when I rekindled a friendship with a close friend On christmas day in 2011, that shit still cost me $2.25 for metrocard

    ...


    Four years ago and you're still lamenting having to shell out $2.25 to see a friend at the Christmas season?!

    Merry Christmas Ebenezer Scrooge!
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 16, 2015 4:09 PM GMT
    In this year of El Nino xmas has been replaced with Star Wars.
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 803

    Dec 16, 2015 6:21 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidStop wallowing in self pity and volunteer your time to those who are truly unfortunate at this time of year. Check with your local churches or soup kitchen. You need a reality check. You're whole post is centered around what you didn't have. You're a glass half empty sort of guy. Aren't you?

    I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man with no feet.

    Also around my town there are a myriad of free things to do that center around the holiday season like concerts and caroling. Look for those things to attend.

    You're putting too much emphasis on the commercial Christmas and not the Christmas that should be in your heart which unfortunately you allowed your family to kill long ago. You need to find away to resurrect it. You're an adult now. Take control of your Christmas and life.


    Dude, you need to chill. Or take a bullet from someone really soon.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Dec 16, 2015 7:59 PM GMT
    > OP

    My partner (who is Jewish) and I have a little bit of Christmas celebration - We exchange gifts - don't have a tree - go to a number of "christmas" parties. Neither of us come from very religious families.

    Christmas was fun when I was a child - decorated house, christmas tree (with ornaments that had been in the family for 50 years), lots of brightly-wrapped presents - aunts, uncles, first cousins, all getting together to exchange gifts, drink eggnog, romp in the snow, etc. Never a religious thing. Stopped journeying "home" for christmas when I got out of college. To the extent I like christmas, it is because of childhood memories, but since I'm not a child, and don't have any, it is not at all the same.

    Fast forward to gay single life in San Francisco. Usually hit the bars as soon as they opened in the evening. Had some nice holiday sex. Sometimes, when I had a BF or a date, would go to the mountains for skiing for a week or long weekend.

    Now I have a longtime partner, so things are different. Might go to some christmas carol concerts, and the holiday parties.

    SO, if you aren't religious, find some others - jews, muslims, hindus (non-christian) asians, to hang out with - maybe go to a Chinese restaurant (very popular in the New York Jewish population); or, if you can afford it, take a short vacation
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    Dec 16, 2015 8:03 PM GMT
    FitBlackCuddler said
    UndercoverMan saidStop wallowing in self pity and volunteer your time to those who are truly unfortunate at this time of year. Check with your local churches or soup kitchen. You need a reality check. You're whole post is centered around what you didn't have. You're a glass half empty sort of guy. Aren't you?

    I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man with no feet.

    Also around my town there are a myriad of free things to do that center around the holiday season like concerts and caroling. Look for those things to attend.

    You're putting too much emphasis on the commercial Christmas and not the Christmas that should be in your heart which unfortunately you allowed your family to kill long ago. You need to find away to resurrect it. You're an adult now. Take control of your Christmas and life.


    Dude, you need to chill. Or take a bullet from someone really soon.


    You need to worry about yourself.

    Have a merry Christmas.

    " Take a bullet from someone?" What sort of sick motherfucker are you?
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 803

    Dec 16, 2015 8:14 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    FitBlackCuddler said
    UndercoverMan saidStop wallowing in self pity and volunteer your time to those who are truly unfortunate at this time of year. Check with your local churches or soup kitchen. You need a reality check. You're whole post is centered around what you didn't have. You're a glass half empty sort of guy. Aren't you?

    I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man with no feet.

    Also around my town there are a myriad of free things to do that center around the holiday season like concerts and caroling. Look for those things to attend.

    You're putting too much emphasis on the commercial Christmas and not the Christmas that should be in your heart which unfortunately you allowed your family to kill long ago. You need to find away to resurrect it. You're an adult now. Take control of your Christmas and life.


    Dude, you need to chill. Or take a bullet from someone really soon.


    You need to worry about yourself.

    Have a merry Christmas.

    " Take a bullet from someone?" What sort of sick motherfucker are you?


    Perhaps a person (as opposed to your 'motherfucker') who says outright what many others are thinking.
  • David3K

    Posts: 231

    Dec 16, 2015 8:15 PM GMT
    So what is this all about? Just celebrate what you feel like. I celebrate Christmas eve and New years eve.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Dec 16, 2015 8:19 PM GMT
    FitBlackCuddler said
    UndercoverMan said
    FitBlackCuddler said
    UndercoverMan saidStop wallowing in self pity and volunteer your time to those who are truly unfortunate at this time of year. Check with your local churches or soup kitchen. You need a reality check. You're whole post is centered around what you didn't have. You're a glass half empty sort of guy. Aren't you?

    I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man with no feet.

    Also around my town there are a myriad of free things to do that center around the holiday season like concerts and caroling. Look for those things to attend.

    You're putting too much emphasis on the commercial Christmas and not the Christmas that should be in your heart which unfortunately you allowed your family to kill long ago. You need to find away to resurrect it. You're an adult now. Take control of your Christmas and life.


    Dude, you need to chill. Or take a bullet from someone really soon.


    You need to worry about yourself.

    Have a merry Christmas.

    " Take a bullet from someone?" What sort of sick motherfucker are you?


    Perhaps a person (as opposed to your 'motherfucker') who says outright what many others are thinking.


    Duh - I think you are the only one who thinks Undercover should be "taking a bullet".
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 16, 2015 10:10 PM GMT
    Suetonius said
    FitBlackCuddler said
    UndercoverMan said
    FitBlackCuddler said
    UndercoverMan saidStop wallowing in self pity and volunteer your time to those who are truly unfortunate at this time of year. Check with your local churches or soup kitchen. You need a reality check. You're whole post is centered around what you didn't have. You're a glass half empty sort of guy. Aren't you?

    I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man with no feet.

    Also around my town there are a myriad of free things to do that center around the holiday season like concerts and caroling. Look for those things to attend.

    You're putting too much emphasis on the commercial Christmas and not the Christmas that should be in your heart which unfortunately you allowed your family to kill long ago. You need to find away to resurrect it. You're an adult now. Take control of your Christmas and life.


    Dude, you need to chill. Or take a bullet from someone really soon.


    You need to worry about yourself.

    Have a merry Christmas.

    " Take a bullet from someone?" What sort of sick motherfucker are you?


    Perhaps a person (as opposed to your 'motherfucker') who says outright what many others are thinking.


    Duh - I think you are the only one who thinks Undercover should be "taking a bullet".

    Just today undercoverman called for my death, sooo... I guess that's where we're at now.icon_confused.gif

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/4151149
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2015 10:15 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Suetonius said
    FitBlackCuddler said
    UndercoverMan said
    FitBlackCuddler said
    UndercoverMan saidStop wallowing in self pity and volunteer your time to those who are truly unfortunate at this time of year. Check with your local churches or soup kitchen. You need a reality check. You're whole post is centered around what you didn't have. You're a glass half empty sort of guy. Aren't you?

    I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man with no feet.

    Also around my town there are a myriad of free things to do that center around the holiday season like concerts and caroling. Look for those things to attend.

    You're putting too much emphasis on the commercial Christmas and not the Christmas that should be in your heart which unfortunately you allowed your family to kill long ago. You need to find away to resurrect it. You're an adult now. Take control of your Christmas and life.


    Dude, you need to chill. Or take a bullet from someone really soon.


    You need to worry about yourself.

    Have a merry Christmas.

    " Take a bullet from someone?" What sort of sick motherfucker are you?


    Perhaps a person (as opposed to your 'motherfucker') who says outright what many others are thinking.


    Duh - I think you are the only one who thinks Undercover should be "taking a bullet".

    Just today undercoverman called for my death, sooo... I guess that's where we're at now.icon_confused.gif

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/4151149


    If you don't recognize a tongue-in-cheek comment, I can't help you.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 16, 2015 10:17 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    HottJoe said
    Suetonius said
    FitBlackCuddler said
    UndercoverMan said
    FitBlackCuddler said
    UndercoverMan saidStop wallowing in self pity and volunteer your time to those who are truly unfortunate at this time of year. Check with your local churches or soup kitchen. You need a reality check. You're whole post is centered around what you didn't have. You're a glass half empty sort of guy. Aren't you?

    I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man with no feet.

    Also around my town there are a myriad of free things to do that center around the holiday season like concerts and caroling. Look for those things to attend.

    You're putting too much emphasis on the commercial Christmas and not the Christmas that should be in your heart which unfortunately you allowed your family to kill long ago. You need to find away to resurrect it. You're an adult now. Take control of your Christmas and life.


    Dude, you need to chill. Or take a bullet from someone really soon.


    You need to worry about yourself.

    Have a merry Christmas.

    " Take a bullet from someone?" What sort of sick motherfucker are you?


    Perhaps a person (as opposed to your 'motherfucker') who says outright what many others are thinking.


    Duh - I think you are the only one who thinks Undercover should be "taking a bullet".

    Just today undercoverman called for my death, sooo... I guess that's where we're at now.icon_confused.gif

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/4151149


    If you don't recognize a tongue-in-cheek comment, I can't help you.

    I didn't really consider it a credible threat.icon_wink.gif
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Dec 16, 2015 11:00 PM GMT
    I celebrate Christmas but it has been co-opted by others. I really would like to do it my own way without causing waves.

    It does not need to be a commercial occasion but I do think it is an important time of year to celebrate.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2015 11:46 PM GMT
    ^ If you have a close family that can be so hard to do.
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Dec 17, 2015 12:05 AM GMT
    i come from a pretty upper middle class straight white fam, so my christmas is usually pretty awesome. love it!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2015 1:18 AM GMT