Never had a relationship longer than 2months

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2015 5:46 AM GMT
    We often hear that when you are in your 20's, it is most probable that your relationships won't last longer 2 months.

    It came to my attention that this was the case for me, up until I got introduced to the idea that you can have sex with someone without relational or lasting attatchment. And for a few months I did this and it was cool, but I would fall for one or tow guys and thus decided that I would like to be in a relationship; primary because I'm a relationship type. I spend to much time on campus seeming like a non-infectious person, it get tiring when there's no one to come back to but N/A sex.

    I'm 25 years old, when walking or driving and seeing guys on the streets being chummy with each other; I desire that a bit. And in the Gay community, I've noticed that generally showing interest makes people disinterested and when you become cavalier, you attract quite a few people. And let's not mention when they see your dick size..

    I want to go beyond two months, I'm full of love: What Should I do?

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  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 875

    Dec 17, 2015 6:00 AM GMT
    Relatively few guys in their 20's are seriously considering entering an exclusive, monogamous, LTR with one of their peers.

    There is an abundance of NSA sex around, and couple of FwBs or FBs will be there to support your emotional and social needs, too. At the risk of oversimplifying it, the guys want to play the field, and you can see where they are coming from, too.icon_biggrin.gif

    Now, if you happen to be an LTR type of dude, your better guess would be to look for the dudes who are a bit older, settled, and who would like to share that sense of stability and comfort with you. Like you said in your profile, you are looking for a 'mature' guy.

    SC
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2015 6:10 AM GMT
    @ SilverRRCloud

    True.. And perhaps what I meant most about "mature" was more mental maturity than just age. And you find that, most older guys want to be with other older guys or they want to at as though they are young, and with that "add a 25 year-old on your side." and quite a number or "over" relationships and just want to enjoy the rest of their lives just "touching base." lol

    But If I could find that rare gem that you speak of man, Yikes.



  • Nhlakz

    Posts: 149

    Dec 17, 2015 2:07 PM GMT
    That the problem of being gay and under 30..we hv a lot of dick and ass to choose from.especially if we live in countries that embraces same sex relationships..i doubt gays in the middle east hv the same problems as we do.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2015 3:55 PM GMT
    acceptance is different outside n america but the headless profile pic? Little room for a relationship in a closet.

    do you really need a relationship to complete your self?
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 803

    Dec 17, 2015 4:03 PM GMT
    onbase said@ SilverRRCloud

    True.. And perhaps what I meant most about "mature" was more mental maturity than just age. And you find that, most older guys want to be with other older guys or they want to at as though they are young, and with that "add a 25 year-old on your side." and quite a number or "over" relationships and just want to enjoy the rest of their lives just "touching base." lol

    But If I could find that rare gem that you speak of man, Yikes.


    You will need to sit down and reflect on the human attributes (of body, heart and mind) that you feel you desire in another. Then write a profile speaking of them.

    Be sure to mention those elements in personality and their demeanor that you feel will REALLY touch you. And be clear and decisive...none of this, "I want a monogamous relationship but until he comes I will be having fun" nonsense.

    Put together a COMPLETE profile of YOURSELF. Share what you believe is true of your personality and include an assortment of G and PG-rated photos that clearly display your face and body and relate your interests.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Dec 17, 2015 4:19 PM GMT
    Two months does not make for a "relationship"; it's a "Fuck Buddy" time period.




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  • Fireworkz

    Posts: 606

    Dec 17, 2015 7:33 PM GMT
    FitBlackCuddler said
    onbase said@ SilverRRCloud

    True.. And perhaps what I meant most about "mature" was more mental maturity than just age. And you find that, most older guys want to be with other older guys or they want to at as though they are young, and with that "add a 25 year-old on your side." and quite a number or "over" relationships and just want to enjoy the rest of their lives just "touching base." lol

    But If I could find that rare gem that you speak of man, Yikes.


    You will need to sit down and reflect on the human attributes (of body, heart and mind) that you feel you desire in another. Then write a profile speaking of them.

    Be sure to mention those elements in personality and their demeanor that you feel will REALLY touch you. And be clear and decisive...none of this, "I want a monogamous relationship but until he comes I will be having fun" nonsense.

    Put together a COMPLETE profile of YOURSELF. Share what you believe is true of your personality and include an assortment of G and PG-rated photos that clearly display your face and body and relate your interests.



    I like what he said.
    I don't believe you need to go for older. Don't fall for that.
    There will be others who are like you. You just need to know how to filter for them.
    Write your profile in a way that speaks to them. Hold firm to your values and what you are looking for. Don't be afraid to say no to someone who doesn't want the same thing. The more clear you are the more 'attractive' you become. People who are clear on their values are more confident it is not an age thing.



  • Nhlakz

    Posts: 149

    Dec 17, 2015 7:48 PM GMT
    pellaz saidacceptance is different outside n america but the headless profile pic? Little room for a relationship in a closet.

    do you really need a relationship to complete your self?

    we live in a country that had gay marriage b4 a lot of countries in the world has..and i still dont understand y "black south african gay men "still hv faceless profile pics...its homosexuality isnt a crime out here..
  • you_know_Its_...

    Posts: 261

    Dec 18, 2015 5:11 AM GMT
    Love how on RJ everytime a young guy complains that "everyone just wants to fuck", some old guy advises them to - surprise - date older. Nice try, lol

    Anecdotally, just about every older guy who isn't already in an LTR is about as "mature" and "settled" as a horny 18 year old, except powered by mind games and Cialis. In fact, on another thread, apparently studies show that the longevity of relationships that begin at age 39+ are shorter than the ones that start from age 25-35, and barely longer than guys under 25.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Dec 19, 2015 6:18 AM GMT
    you_know_its_true saidLove how on RJ everytime a young guy complains that "everyone just wants to fuck", some old guy advises them to - surprise - date older. Nice try, lol


    At 25, the pool of men he has for a relationship is small. Very few guys are available or want long term relationships when they are 25. Even if he wants a "short term" relationship - say 2-3 years in stead of 2 months, he should consider "older guys." When Silvercloud suggested he date someone a "bit older", I don't think he was implying a guy in their 40's, 50's 60's. Maybe just in the 28-35 range would make a world of difference in the likelihood that anyone would be relationship -oriented. When I was 25, I never dated anyone over 30 - but then, I wasn't looking for a long term relationship, either. That was true of most guys I knew or met at the time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2015 6:42 PM GMT
    Quite perculiar that everyone has had a completel idea of who I am and where I am just by my "Headless" picture: as appose to what I've said.

    Just to clear one, I do not believe in the idea of "Being in the Closet": I find that we find ourselves in various closets that we hide in. I don't believing in having to "come out" to anybody, no one should have that power or privilege for me to await their acceptance. If anybody asks, if I want to, I tell them. I stand for rights of people, particularly minorities that have history of oppression. And if I am labeled as Gay or whatever, that's fine but I will not put myself in a "Community" because I am not like that. But to stand for rights and in public, by all means.

    As for the pictures, the are so because I chose them to be. And this policing going on is just ridiculous: if it be, I'll be alone if I have to be someone I am not, or portray an idea about myself that I don't want.

    Very Well, thank you "Jocks"
  • you_know_Its_...

    Posts: 261

    Dec 21, 2015 11:33 PM GMT
    Suetonius said
    you_know_its_true saidLove how on RJ everytime a young guy complains that "everyone just wants to fuck", some old guy advises them to - surprise - date older. Nice try, lol


    At 25, the pool of men he has for a relationship is small. Very few guys are available or want long term relationships when they are 25. Even if he wants a "short term" relationship... he should consider "older guys." When Silvercloud suggested he date someone a "bit older", I don't think he was implying a guy in their 40's, 50's 60's. Maybe just in the 28-35 range would make a world of difference in the likelihood that anyone would be relationship -oriented. When I was 25, I never dated anyone over 30 - but then, I wasn't looking for a long term relationship, either. That was true of most guys I knew or met at the time.


    All I can say is "conflict of interest" lol