Spiralizer Story (long)

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    Dec 19, 2015 5:20 PM GMT
    I can't recall if I wrote about this already on RJ. I did on some other social sites.

    We were in a Williams-Sonoma kitchen store last week, and my husband suddenly expressed an interest in a spiralizer they had. This is a kitchen device that takes fruits & vegetables and makes spirals out of them, for presentation and other purposes.

    The one he looked at was hand-cranked and all plastic. I wasn't impressed with its construction, and deferred buying it, saying I'd wait for a sale. I may know nothing about cooking compared to him, but I do excel at getting great bargains on stuff, and I also understand mechanical devices.

    That very night at home I decided to watch a cable TV informercial about KitchenAid stand mixers, like the one I bought him last year. I wanted to see if it had any new attachments. Strange, cause I never watch informercials.

    Sure enough it does have something new - a spiralizer! That also peels stuff, like potatoes and apples, without spiralizing if you prefer, all powered by the stand mixer as an attachment, no hand cranking, and made of metal, not plastic.

    It was out of stock online until January when I checked. The next morning just before the local Williams-Sonoma store opened I phoned them, and they had one in stock, and on sale. Knowing me (I buy a ton of stuff there for him) they set it aside until I could get there. I told him to throw his clothes on, we're going to the Galleria NOW!

    I bought the thing, along with an electric popcorn maker for him. He loves popcorn, that I make for him from scratch in ordinary cooking pots, and he had also looked at some of them the day before. And we got a spiralizer cookbook along with some other little goodies, too.

    Being good customers, they gave us extra unadvertised discounts that weren't supposed to go into effect until Sunday (tomorrow). Well over $200 in purchases that already reflected some sale prices, cost me only 90-some dollars.

    Williams-Sonoma can be pricey, but they, like Macy's kitchen department, can give you great bargains that beat even Walmart or Target if you're patient and shop smart. You get personalized service, by responsible & knowledgable adults, not ditzy high-schoolers or dotty retirees you have to flag down in the aisles. And they'll even take the bigger packages out to the car for me - try that at Target.

    So we get this spiralizer thing home and try it out on an apple. I set it to peel, spiralize and core all at once. Perfect job, first time, we were amazed. I put the spiraled apple on a cutting board and quartered it top to bottom with a knife as I'd seen on TV, and voila, perfect wedges for an apple pie. My husband was delighted, he can prepare dozens of apples for his holiday pies in just a few minutes with no tedious manual effort.

    Then he took a red beet and spiraled it into thin curly strings using a different blade, and next a carrot the same way, put them both into a bowl, microwaved and dressed them with oil, and ate them as a salad. Needless to say he's a satisfied customer, a very useful kitchen device for him.

    While in the mall we also bought a bunch of polo shirts for ourselves on sale. I got designer-names listing at over $60 for as little as $10. Then found some button-tab suspenders I needed for the trousers of my dinner jacket (my old suspenders had gone limp), and a formal black vest, large enough to accommodate my belly bulge that just won't go away quick enough.

    Surprisingly I found them in Dillard's of all places, and also on sale. We've got a formal black-tie charity function this Wednesday the 23rd and I was starting to panic. My old vest was at risk of popping its buttons, thought I might have to go to a formal-wear store and pay exorbitant prices.

    So a wonderfully productive morning of shopping, we were back to Wilton Manors in time for lunch with friends. All because of a spiralizer informercial the night before. If you've got a KitchenAid stand mixer you might want to look into one.
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    Dec 20, 2015 2:20 AM GMT
    Where do you find carrots big enough to use with one of these things?

    I look all over for carrots big enough to slice thin for dipping in guacamole or to crinkle-cut for Thai curry, and I can never find them. Best case I find a gigantic bag full of skinny carrots with one or two medium-sized ones mixed in.

    I found a basket full once, I think at an Indian corner shop, but even there I never saw them again. icon_sad.gif
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    Dec 20, 2015 3:09 AM GMT
    While, yes, its a long storey. Lets not forget how its a FUCKING BORING storey. Thanks Art… ;) Sorry, I could keep it in… xo.
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    Dec 20, 2015 3:19 AM GMT
    3e0abd3b252af8d3f509a463af3ac7022ec6a811
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    Dec 20, 2015 3:21 AM GMT
    113264.gif
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    Dec 20, 2015 3:22 AM GMT
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    Dec 20, 2015 3:24 AM GMT
    anotherphil saidWhere do you find carrots big enough to use with one of these things?

    Carrot size queens just know these things.
  • David3K

    Posts: 231

    Dec 20, 2015 3:25 AM GMT
    Hahaha this thread is ridiculously awesome icon_lol.gif
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    Dec 20, 2015 3:28 AM GMT
    I'm buying a new can opener tomorrow. Can't wait to post about it!!!!!
  • David3K

    Posts: 231

    Dec 20, 2015 3:34 AM GMT
    Radd saidI'm buying a new can opening tomorrow. Can't wait to post about it!!!!!


    cant be shorter than 3963 characters

    I still cant understand how this guy managed to write this long, detailed story in such a pretentious tone, about a fruit peeler or something icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif And the part he said hes glad he bought a vest because he had a black tie dinner and was starting to panic for not having one cracked me up
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    Dec 20, 2015 3:45 AM GMT
    Radd saidI'm buying a new can opening tomorrow. Can't wait to post about it!!!!!


    of course it will be FABULOUSLY expensive and the best one, of course.


    Wow, I feel like such a catty bitch.. its kinda fun… icon_twisted.gificon_rolleyes.gif lol
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    Dec 20, 2015 3:59 AM GMT
    hairyandym saidWhile, yes, its a long storey. Lets not forget how its a FUCKING BORING storey. Thanks Art… ;) Sorry, I could keep it in… xo.

    STORY, not "storey". You saw the disclaimer that it was long, so why did you bother to read it? You might be better off reading a dictionary.
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    Dec 20, 2015 4:03 AM GMT
    anotherphil saidWhere do you find carrots big enough to use with one of these things?

    You can find thick carrots in the produce section. Then you cut their length in half, since they're likely gonna exceed the ability of any spiralizer. And then they work just fine. But, yeah, small carrots won't work with one.
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    Dec 20, 2015 4:06 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    anotherphil saidWhere do you find carrots big enough to use with one of these things?

    You can find thick carrots in the produce section. Then you cut their length in half, since they're likely gonna exceed the ability of the spiralizer. And then they work just fine. But, yeah, small carrots won't work with it.


    Must be a Florida thing then; I've had as much difficulty here in California as I did in the Midwest finding those. icon_sad.gif

    Edit: maybe farming big carrots violates some sort of California humane carrot treatment law.
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    Dec 20, 2015 4:10 AM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    Art_Deco saidI can't recall if I wrote about this already on RJ. I did on some other social sites.
    Uh oh, just seeing how long this is, I know we're in for some major "boasting and self congratulations" from Kolonel KooKoo!


    Art_Deco saidWe were in a Williams-Sonoma kitchen store last week, and my husband suddenly expressed an interest in a spiralizer they had. This is a kitchen device that takes fruits & vegetables and makes spirals out of them, for presentation and other purposes.

    You are posting on a public gay forum Kolonel Deco, and when you lie about the legal marital status of your partner, it reflects very negatively on your "honor" as a former military officer. Your partner is no more your husband than he is your grandfather.


    Art_Deco saidThe one he looked at was hand-cranked and all plastic. I wasn't impressed with its construction, and deferred buying it, saying I'd wait for a sale. I may know nothing about cooking compared to him, but I do excel at getting great bargains on stuff, and I also understand mechanical devices.

    giphy.gif


    Art_Deco saidThat very night at home I decided to watch a cable TV informercial about KitchenAid stand mixers, like the one I bought him last year. I wanted to see if it had any new attachments. Strange, cause I never watch informercials.
    Of course you don't watch infomercials. Only the lower-middle classes watch those.


    Art_Deco saidSure enough it does have something new - a spiralizer!

    latest?cb=20110519214122


    Art_Deco saidIt was out of stock online until January when I checked. The next morning just before the local Williams-Sonoma store opened I phoned them, and they had one in stock, and on sale. Knowing me (I buy a ton of stuff there for him) they set it aside until I could get there. I told him to throw his clothes on, we're going to the Galleria NOW!
    I'm actually shocked that they made you schlep all the way down to THE MALL, and that they didn't offer to express messenger the gadget to Deco Manors.


    Art_Deco saidWilliams-Sonoma can be pricey, but they, like Macy's kitchen department, can give you great bargains that beat even Walmart or Target if you're patient and shop smart. You get personalized service, by responsible & knowledgable adults, not ditzy high-schoolers or dotty retirees you have to flag down in the aisles. And they'll even take the bigger packages out to the car for me - try that at Target.

    Uh... "dotty retirees" Kolonel? Hello?


    Art_Deco saidBeing good customers, they gave us extra unadvertised discounts that weren't supposed to go into effect until Sunday (tomorrow). Well over $200 in purchases that already reflected some sale prices, cost me only 90-some dollars.
    The coveted Art_Deco account is fought over by high-end retailers all over South Florida. It doesn't surprise me that they offered YOU, a self proclaimed "Gay A+ Lister Mover and Shaker" this special deal.


    Art_Deco saidI put the spiraled apple on a cutting board and quartered it top to bottom with a knife as I'd seen on TV, and voila, perfect wedges for an apple pie. My husband was delighted

    Mr-Blobby-and-Hyacinth-Bucket.jpg


    Art_Deco saidThen he took a red beet and spiraled it into thin curly strings using a different blade, and next a carrot the same way, put them both into a bowl, microwaved and dressed them with oil, and ate them as a salad.
    Do tell us, at what time did the red beet and carrot dressed in oil evacuate from your partner's ass? Please, spare us no detail. icon_rolleyes.gif


    Art_Deco saidWhile in the mall we also bought a bunch of polo shirts for ourselves on sale. I got designer-names listing at over $60 for as little as $10. Then found some button-tab suspenders I needed for the trousers of my dinner jacket (my old suspenders had gone limp), and a formal black vest, large enough to accommodate my belly bulge that just won't go away quick enough.

    Not surprising at all that you would need to freshen up your extensive wardrobe, given your grueling, hectic philanthropic schedule, attending both casual and formal events, giving, giving, giving of yourself and your time.


    Art_Deco said
    Surprisingly I found them in Dillard's of all places, and also on sale. We've got a formal black-tie charity function this Wednesday the 23rd and I was starting to panic. My old vest was at risk of popping its buttons, thought I might have to go to a formal-wear store and pay exorbitant prices.
    Oh pshaw Kolonel. You, panic? No, I don't think so, given the many stories you have told of your heroics while wearing the uniform of our country. Surely you pull our leg, no?


    Art_Deco saidSo a wonderfully productive morning of shopping, we were back to Wilton Manors in time for lunch with friends. All because of a spiralizer informercial the night before. If you've got a KitchenAid stand mixer you might want to look into one.

    No... all because of YOU! icon_rolleyes.gif


    image_fragrance_obsession_for_men_00e0e2
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    Dec 20, 2015 4:14 AM GMT
    anotherphil said
    Art_Deco said
    anotherphil saidWhere do you find carrots big enough to use with one of these things?

    You can find thick carrots in the produce section. Then you cut their length in half, since they're likely gonna exceed the ability of the spiralizer. And then they work just fine. But, yeah, small carrots won't work with it.

    Must be a Florida thing then; I've had as much difficulty here in California as I did in the Midwest finding those. icon_sad.gif

    Edit: maybe farming big carrots violates some sort of California humane carrot treatment law.

    I dunno. But we get thick carrots in South Florida. Not all carrots, but enough you can buy what you need for this purpose. I don't know their origin.

    A thin carrot won't work well with a spiralizer. Nor will any thin vegetable.
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    Dec 20, 2015 4:20 AM GMT
    Ex_Mil8 said
    image_fragrance_obsession_for_men_00e0e2

    Yeah, he's been obsessed regarding me for years. It just gets worse with time. Who stalks me all around this site, posting childish insults. A number of guys claim he's a paid agent of the Right Wing, whose mission is to disrupt this gay site, but who knows?
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    Dec 20, 2015 4:39 AM GMT
    Radd saidI'm buying a new can opening tomorrow. Can't wait to post about it!!!!!


    LOL at this thread!!!
  • mystery905

    Posts: 745

    Dec 20, 2015 4:46 AM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    Art_Deco saidI can't recall if I wrote about this already on RJ. I did on some other social sites.
    Uh oh, just seeing how long this is, I know we're in for some major "boasting and self congratulations" from Kolonel KooKoo!


    Art_Deco saidWe were in a Williams-Sonoma kitchen store last week, and my husband suddenly expressed an interest in a spiralizer they had. This is a kitchen device that takes fruits & vegetables and makes spirals out of them, for presentation and other purposes.

    You are posting on a public gay forum Kolonel Deco, and when you lie about the legal marital status of your partner, it reflects very negatively on your "honor" as a former military officer. Your partner is no more your husband than he is your grandfather.


    Art_Deco saidThe one he looked at was hand-cranked and all plastic. I wasn't impressed with its construction, and deferred buying it, saying I'd wait for a sale. I may know nothing about cooking compared to him, but I do excel at getting great bargains on stuff, and I also understand mechanical devices.

    giphy.gif


    Art_Deco saidThat very night at home I decided to watch a cable TV informercial about KitchenAid stand mixers, like the one I bought him last year. I wanted to see if it had any new attachments. Strange, cause I never watch informercials.
    Of course you don't watch infomercials. Only the lower-middle classes watch those.


    Art_Deco saidSure enough it does have something new - a spiralizer!

    latest?cb=20110519214122


    Art_Deco saidIt was out of stock online until January when I checked. The next morning just before the local Williams-Sonoma store opened I phoned them, and they had one in stock, and on sale. Knowing me (I buy a ton of stuff there for him) they set it aside until I could get there. I told him to throw his clothes on, we're going to the Galleria NOW!
    I'm actually shocked that they made you schlep all the way down to THE MALL, and that they didn't offer to express messenger the gadget to Deco Manors.


    Art_Deco saidWilliams-Sonoma can be pricey, but they, like Macy's kitchen department, can give you great bargains that beat even Walmart or Target if you're patient and shop smart. You get personalized service, by responsible & knowledgable adults, not ditzy high-schoolers or dotty retirees you have to flag down in the aisles. And they'll even take the bigger packages out to the car for me - try that at Target.

    Uh... "dotty retirees" Kolonel? Hello?


    Art_Deco saidBeing good customers, they gave us extra unadvertised discounts that weren't supposed to go into effect until Sunday (tomorrow). Well over $200 in purchases that already reflected some sale prices, cost me only 90-some dollars.
    The coveted Art_Deco account is fought over by high-end retailers all over South Florida. It doesn't surprise me that they offered YOU, a self proclaimed "Gay A+ Lister Mover and Shaker" this special deal.


    Art_Deco saidI put the spiraled apple on a cutting board and quartered it top to bottom with a knife as I'd seen on TV, and voila, perfect wedges for an apple pie. My husband was delighted

    Mr-Blobby-and-Hyacinth-Bucket.jpg


    Art_Deco saidThen he took a red beet and spiraled it into thin curly strings using a different blade, and next a carrot the same way, put them both into a bowl, microwaved and dressed them with oil, and ate them as a salad.
    Do tell us, at what time did the red beet and carrot dressed in oil evacuate from your partner's ass? Please, spare us no detail. icon_rolleyes.gif


    Art_Deco saidWhile in the mall we also bought a bunch of polo shirts for ourselves on sale. I got designer-names listing at over $60 for as little as $10. Then found some button-tab suspenders I needed for the trousers of my dinner jacket (my old suspenders had gone limp), and a formal black vest, large enough to accommodate my belly bulge that just won't go away quick enough.

    Not surprising at all that you would need to freshen up your extensive wardrobe, given your grueling, hectic philanthropic schedule, attending both casual and formal events, giving, giving, giving of yourself and your time.


    Art_Deco said
    Surprisingly I found them in Dillard's of all places, and also on sale. We've got a formal black-tie charity function this Wednesday the 23rd and I was starting to panic. My old vest was at risk of popping its buttons, thought I might have to go to a formal-wear store and pay exorbitant prices.
    Oh pshaw Kolonel. You, panic? No, I don't think so, given the many stories you have told of your heroics while wearing the uniform of our country. Surely you pull our leg, no?


    Art_Deco saidSo a wonderfully productive morning of shopping, we were back to Wilton Manors in time for lunch with friends. All because of a spiralizer informercial the night before. If you've got a KitchenAid stand mixer you might want to look into one.

    No... all because of YOU! icon_rolleyes.gif


    LOL! I used to find your posts annoying, but as time went on, I found them quite entertaining, and found Art's posts more annoying.
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    Dec 20, 2015 4:57 AM GMT
    ^ I know! Somewhere along the line I stupidly began to ignore SB's posts. Now I have to live vicariously through others' repostings. Although, I do find Art's posts entertaining and look forward to them.
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    Dec 20, 2015 4:58 AM GMT
    mystery905 said
    southbeach1500 said
    Art_Deco saidI can't recall if I wrote about this already on RJ. I did on some other social sites.
    .

    giphy.gif




    LOL! I used to find your posts annoying, but as time went on, I found them quite entertaining, and found Art's posts more annoying.


    That is not only entertaining, but also hilarious. That gif is your best one yet SoBe. It is the Gif giving season.

    I didn't know if that was a little art_deco self love or a little self-flagellation
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    Dec 20, 2015 5:39 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    Although, I do find Art's posts entertaining and look forward to them.

    My posts are designed to entertain. Often written tongue-in-cheek, for those sophisticated enough to catch the hidden humor. And much of the humor self-deprecating, which few guys here ever dare to say about themselves.

    But posts also full of little bits of general information, also by design. That's partly why they run on so long (aside from my natural verbosity). Take away the prime subject stuff, and you'll find all kinds of other info. Maybe useful to you, maybe not. But it's there, if you wanna take it.

    I gather, from some of these comments, that some guys here have an extremely narrow & prejudiced focus, and little imagination. That disappoints me, since I always presumed, and hoped, that gay guys had more flexible and adaptive thinking patterns. I guess I have to scratch that notion. icon_sad.gif
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    Dec 20, 2015 5:44 AM GMT
    I am intrigued by the veggie spiralizer as I have a KitchenAide Artisan mixer and have been looking for more ways to use it besides just mixing.

    As an aside, there is a grocery store here in the French Quarter that sells dildo-sized carrots! Hummmm dildo-sized carrots in the city's premier gayborhood!
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    Dec 20, 2015 5:54 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidI am intrigued by the veggie spiralizer as I have a KitchenAide Artisan mixer and have been looking for more ways to use it besides just mixing.

    Go to the KitchenAid website for their stand mixer attachments:

    http://www.kitchenaid.com/shop/countertop-appliances-1/stand-mixer-attachments-3/102020154/

    You can buy from them directly, or find a retailer who carries that product.

    We have the shredder attachment, the meat grinder with sausage stuffer, the ice cream maker, the pasta cutter, and now the spiralizer.
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    Dec 20, 2015 5:59 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    UndercoverMan saidI am intrigued by the veggie spiralizer as I have a KitchenAide Artisan mixer and have been looking for more ways to use it besides just mixing.

    Go to the KitchenAid website for their stand mixer attachments:

    http://www.kitchenaid.com/shop/countertop-appliances-1/stand-mixer-attachments-3/102020154/

    You can buy from them directly, or find a retailer who carries that product.

    We have the shredder attachment, the meat grinder with sausage stuffer, the ice cream maker, the pasta cutter, and now the spiralizer.


    Truly sounding more and more like Grindr