Why are there so many mean guys?

  • anthonybs

    Posts: 98

    Dec 19, 2015 7:56 PM GMT
    Okay, I'm beginning to get a little pissed off because some guys think the world is revolving around them. I mean, I send them messages, they read them but don't reply. Like, what the fuck? You say you like guys who can offer more than sex, then again you don't even make the effort to reply. Make up your mind, for God's sake. You can at least say that you don't like my appearance or something. And I thought guys here would be more polite. SMH
  • mystery905

    Posts: 745

    Dec 20, 2015 12:08 AM GMT
    Mean guys just like nice guys are a fact of life.

    Grow a thicker skin and live your life with your own values.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 12:32 AM GMT
    To be honest, I prefer not to reply to the guy instead of saying I don't like his appearance. I don't wanna make him feel bad.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 5:09 AM GMT
    Don't take anyone's meanness as a reflection of something about you or what they think about you. Meanness is all about the person who's being mean. Just sigh that people waste their lives being foolish, and move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 5:15 AM GMT
    Don't be so sensitive. Sure a short reply isn't too much to ask but no one is obliged to answer unsolicited mail. Also, just because a guy doesn't answer doesn't mean he thinks the world revolves around him.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Dec 20, 2015 7:25 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidDon't be so sensitive. Sure a short reply isn't too much to ask but no one is obliged to answer unsolicited mail. Also, just because a guy doesn't answer doesn't mean he thinks the world revolves around him.


    This+1

    Yup. Remember, you are on the net. You are privating a dude. Sure, that's your prerogative. His prerogative is to reply or not.

    Your actions, no matter how well-meaning these may be, cannot mandate any action on the part of anyone else. You are in control of your life and your actions, and the same applies to them, tooicon_idea.gificon_surprised.gif

    SC
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 20, 2015 7:34 AM GMT
    go out in the real world, you're probably messaging fake profiles
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    Dec 20, 2015 2:50 PM GMT
    Meh, it's the internet. You'll usually get more bad then good around here.
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Dec 20, 2015 3:48 PM GMT
    Brannon saidMeh, it's the internet. You'll usually get more bad then good around here.


    Exactly! I do not take people on the internet seriously.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Dec 20, 2015 3:55 PM GMT
    NyRuinz said
    Brannon saidMeh, it's the internet. You'll usually get more bad then good around here.


    Exactly! I do not take people on the internet seriously.

    I'm not going to bother to check my facts but I believe something like half of all gay couples now report that they first met online. I assume you two consider yourselves nice guys. Do you think you're the only nice guys online? Sounds more like you are either scared or hurt. Man up and start enjoying the galaxy of guys. I met my guy of 8+ years online and we're a pretty unlikely match. But it works.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 4:26 PM GMT
    I met my guy online too. In my online experience the good have outnumbered the bad by a significant margin.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 4:29 PM GMT
    Ask Courtney Act. icon_biggrin.gif

    I do understand the topic. It's called "being polite". But people tend to be "close-minded", seeking for "the same" and similar stuff. Believe me - it is good such people do not reply. I personally thank them for sparing me such awful personality. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 4:39 PM GMT
    just because someone does not reply to you does not make the person mean
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 5:13 PM GMT
    You're not their type. They're looking for something else. Most guys stay silence because they don't want to engage in online nasty argument. It does not make them mean.
  • mar0302

    Posts: 273

    Dec 20, 2015 6:05 PM GMT
    laxwill10 saidYou're not their type. They're looking for something else. Most guys stay silence because they don't want to engage in online nasty argument. It does not make them mean.


    Agreed.. just because someone doesn't answer doesn't mean they're being mean.. not answering is also an answer.. and they're probably doing you a favour by avoiding a negative response..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 6:56 PM GMT
    I don't respond to a lot of messages because I can't be talkin to a dozen of ppl at a time. Not only here but on other sites and apps.
    I may be already talking to someone interesting.

    Sometimes I'll go through old messages and respond later.
  • IgnatiusReill...

    Posts: 158

    Dec 20, 2015 7:09 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidI met my guy online too. In my online experience the good have outnumbered the bad by a significant margin.


    I would say so!icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 20, 2015 7:17 PM GMT
    I want something more than just sex too but that doesn't mean appearance is not important. They are probably just not attracted to you. That doesn't make them "mean" and it doesn't mean you are not attractive. All it means is that you are not that particular person's type. It happens to literally everyone. I have turned down models, bodybuilder and porn stars.....simply because they were not my type. I suggest you stop focusing on the guys who don't reply and concentrate on the guys who do reply.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 7:19 PM GMT
    NyRuinz said
    Brannon saidMeh, it's the internet. You'll usually get more bad then good around here.


    Exactly! I do not take people on the internet seriously.


    Hahas. Online can be a hit or miss. There's always meetup groups.
  • mcbrion

    Posts: 305

    Dec 20, 2015 7:57 PM GMT
    anthonybs saidOkay, I'm beginning to get a little pissed off because some guys think the world is revolving around them. I mean, I send them messages, they read them but don't reply. Like, what the fuck? You say you like guys who can offer more than sex, then again you don't even make the effort to reply. Make up your mind, for God's sake. You can at least say that you don't like my appearance or something. And I thought guys here would be more polite. SMH


    There is a difference between being "mean" and being "polite."
    When you can't see someone's physically, you really have no idea what's happening in their life. Someone wrote me and told me that I hadn't answered them, and I was being mean. The reality? My sister died after being told her cancer was gone. It came back 3 months later, metastasized within 3 weeks and she is now dead.
    Was it mean that I was in such shock that I couldn't even remember to pay my bills? Was it "impolite"? I post this, not for sympathy, but to make people aware that on the Internet, you have absolutely no idea what is happening in the life of the person you've written. Making assumptions about their intentions doesn't help you any, either, and if a person is not resilient, they tend towards anger and bitterness, neither of them very good traits to reach emotional maturity. I am not saying the original poster is not resilient, by the way, this is a statement on human nature.
    I see people attacking each other on forums as though they are at war. When you walk away from the computer after writing something really nasty, you're still carrying that resonance within you: Keep that in mind. It will define how you respond to people in the world in general. It's not as though you're Mother Theresa in the physical world and Charles Manson online. You are one or the other MOST of the time. Less tearing each other apart shows you are not carrying anger/pain inside you. If you are, do what you'd do with any cancer inside you: reach out for help. In this case, therapy. The world is already full of skeptics who doubt anyone is genuine, and to come into a virtual reality and let that reality ruin your life is saying you don't know real life from virtual life.
    Mean people are mean most of the time, sometimes in subtle ways, such as ignoring you (in person, when you say hello to a co-worker, for example). Conversely, nice people stay that way most of the time, too, unless they're having a really, REALLY bad day.
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    Dec 20, 2015 8:37 PM GMT
    laxwill10 saidYou're not their type. They're looking for something else. Most guys stay silence because they don't want to engage in online nasty argument. It does not make them mean.


    This totally. We've all been there. I am an average looking guy and every morning I wake up to a dozen or more messages and woofs on Scruff. By the time I leave the office and grab dinner there's another batch. I'm sure hotter guys get even more. I find it overwhelming to reply to that many people, especially when only a couple are guys I'd actually want to interact with.

    Now, I used to reply to everyone. But there is always that one person who can't handle rejection who blows up at you and ruins the experience. I had one guy who I rejected nicely, he sent nasty messages so I blocked him, then he created a secondary account account and also messaged me on other sites. That was the turd in the punchbowl for me. Ruined the experience.

    Now I just reply to the people I'm into. Otherwise I'll occasionally say "Thanks my man. Enjoy your day icon_smile.gif" and that's it. I spend my energy on the people I think I'd match up with and when I send messages to people, I really only want a response from those who feel the same now instead of getting a really confusing nice rejection from a guy. Welcome to online dating... Keep your head up and your antivirus software updated! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 8:48 PM GMT
    No one is being "mean" by not replying. Lots of men here get lots of messages. If they replied to all of them, they would be doing that all the time they were on the site. Many will reply only if they are interested in you. No response just means "I'm not interested," nothing more.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Dec 20, 2015 11:56 PM GMT
    First off, people that contact you out of the blue are sometimes scammers. Usually people who contacted me, I engaged in some sort of conversation on the message board first. I don't know you or who you are contacting but I don't consider it "nasty" to not be responsive. I am sure the hottest 20 somethings on here are contacted by many guys and can be selective on who the respond to. It is common for guys on this site to pay attention to guys much hotter than themselves, even though they may not realize it. You are contacting people expecting they respond to you in a certain way, they are not required to.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2015 12:03 AM GMT
    Lol the fact that you think you're gonna get a reply from everyone is naive. Also, to you foolish guys who probably message guys out of your league, on average these fit attractive guys get 10 or 20 messages a day, and it is a complete waste of time for them to lead you on and reply to all of them. You need to toughen up and realize these guys' lives don't revolve around protecting your feelings.

    Try messaging back and forth with someone and then send them more face pictures after they ask, and have them instantly block you, then you'll appreciate the men that just don't reply.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Dec 21, 2015 12:17 AM GMT
    TO23 saidLol the fact that you think you're gonna get a reply from everyone is naive. Also, to you foolish guys who probably message guys out of your league, on average these fit attractive guys get 10 or 20 messages a day, and it is a complete waste of time for them to lead you on and reply to all of them. You need to toughen up and realize these guys' lives don't revolve around protecting your feelings.

    Try messaging back and forth with someone and then send them more face pictures after they ask, and have them instantly block you, then you'll appreciate the men that just don't reply.


    True, I don't know what goes on behind the scenes nor who the OP is contacting but if you click on a profile of some hot 20 something, there are scores of guys with average to less than average builds and/or looks making comments about them.