I fail as a bottom and as a top

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 12:29 AM GMT
    I'm having a crisis right now.
    I've been with plenty of guys. 97% of the time I've been the bottom (because I was in my first time and I stuck with it).

    I tried being a top once. I lost my erection while putting the condom on and felt so embarrassed. Never tried it again.

    Fast forward two years later and I've been bottom every time. It ALMOST ALWAYS hurts. No matter what type of condom, what type of water-based lube, I get no pleasure from it. I've been told several times that I'm "too tight" (whatever that means).

    I tried being a top again and I could only fuck the guy in one position (he was on top). I wanted to do another position and my erection was gone, again. Also, my dick is only 5.5" when erect, so I'm in no way a top.

    Last night I had sex with the guy I'm dating and anal felt good the first few seconds when he was going slow, but after he picked up the pace it felt awful and I started feeling a burning sensation on my dick. I told him to stop and we kept making out but I was unable to get an erection again. We stopped there, I went to the bathroom to pee and it hurt.

    Has anyone experienced something like this?
  • mystery905

    Posts: 745

    Dec 20, 2015 12:32 AM GMT
    Being gay doesn't mean you have to be a bottom or a top.

    I don't like anal one bit. Oral giving and receiving is good enough for me.

    I may bottom for the 'one' if he really wants it, but that day is yet to come....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 2:51 AM GMT
    zoolanderz saidI'm having a crisis right now.
    I've been with plenty of guys. 97% of the time I've been the bottom (because I was in my first time and I stuck with it).

    I tried being a top once. I lost my erection while putting the condom on and felt so embarrassed. Never tried it again.

    Fast forward two years later and I've been bottom every time. It ALMOST ALWAYS hurts. No matter what type of condom, what type of water-based lube, I get no pleasure from it. I've been told several times that I'm "too tight" (whatever that means).

    I tried being a top again and I could only fuck the guy in one position (he was on top). I wanted to do another position and my erection was gone, again. Also, my dick is only 5.5" when erect, so I'm in no way a top.

    Last night I had sex with the guy I'm dating and anal felt good the first few seconds when he was going slow, but after he picked up the pace it felt awful and I started feeling a burning sensation on my dick. I told him to stop and we kept making out but I was unable to get an erection again. We stopped there, I went to the bathroom to pee and it hurt.

    Has anyone experienced something like this?


    Yes that was my first time as well when I had my first dick practically rammed up my ass. I felt like my bladder was going to explode. I too had to tell my top to stop for a moment so I can use the bathroom and pee. You need to tell your top to go slow. I suggest you get a dildo and practice with that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 3:00 AM GMT
    Practise makes perfect and being comfortable and monogamous with 1 partner alleviates a lot of the 'doubt'. Relax, it will all fall into place eventually.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 3:01 AM GMT
    There are PLENTY of guys who don't enjoy anal sex at all. Stop forcing yourself to do things you don't get pleasure from. Do you enjoy giving or receiving oral? What about jacking off together?
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    Dec 20, 2015 3:21 AM GMT
    Radd saidThere are PLENTY of guys who don't enjoy anal sex at all. Stop forcing yourself to do things you don't get pleasure from. Do you enjoy giving or receiving oral? What about jacking off together?


    Yeah, I enjoy all those things. Actually, everything was going great except when he started to top me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 6:29 AM GMT
    zoolanderz said
    Radd saidThere are PLENTY of guys who don't enjoy anal sex at all. Stop forcing yourself to do things you don't get pleasure from. Do you enjoy giving or receiving oral? What about jacking off together?


    Yeah, I enjoy all those things. Actually, everything was going great except when he started to top me.



    So just be honest with him and tell him you're not interested in anal. And putting it in your profiles can help too.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 20, 2015 7:44 AM GMT
    maybe you have the clap ... have you been checked for std's?
  • Purrimalion

    Posts: 29

    Dec 26, 2015 11:46 PM GMT
    zoolanderz saidI'm having a crisis right now.
    I've been with plenty of guys. 97% of the time I've been the bottom (because I was in my first time and I stuck with it).

    I tried being a top once. I lost my erection while putting the condom on and felt so embarrassed. Never tried it again.

    Fast forward two years later and I've been bottom every time. It ALMOST ALWAYS hurts. No matter what type of condom, what type of water-based lube, I get no pleasure from it. I've been told several times that I'm "too tight" (whatever that means).

    I tried being a top again and I could only fuck the guy in one position (he was on top). I wanted to do another position and my erection was gone, again. Also, my dick is only 5.5" when erect, so I'm in no way a top.

    Last night I had sex with the guy I'm dating and anal felt good the first few seconds when he was going slow, but after he picked up the pace it felt awful and I started feeling a burning sensation on my dick. I told him to stop and we kept making out but I was unable to get an erection again. We stopped there, I went to the bathroom to pee and it hurt.

    Has anyone experienced something like this?


    you could be just intimidated..
    Emotionally scarred as well..

    Practice make perfect!

    I have a 5.9" and I still top time to times..
    Passionately and quite durable..

    Its all in your head.

    As for the pain while bottoming.
    Try to find a lube that is specifically designed for anal use.

    I used to bleed each time I bottom.. *well my significant other is well endowed*