Attention from straight guys...

  • Willingshy

    Posts: 13

    Dec 20, 2015 12:55 PM GMT
    I am not out and as far as I know, I am a straight acting, masculine guy. With that said, I am experiencing an unusually high level of interest from married and otherwise 'attached' guys (i.e. guys with girlfriends and fiancees).

    Rarely does a week go by when I am not asked to 'go home' with a guy after work or to join a guy for a workout at his gym. (I am assuming that his intentions aren't to see how much I can bench?)

    Any other guys experiencing this?
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    Dec 20, 2015 2:28 PM GMT
    You assume that these "married" and "attached" guys are straight. There are tons of "married" and "attached guys", especially here in the DC metro area, who're in sham straight relationships--the majority of whom are sub bottoms. Don't ask me why I know.
  • strawbeary

    Posts: 6

    Dec 20, 2015 2:37 PM GMT
    my best friend once told me that I have this "friendly" vibe which makes people think I treat them special, but I'm just a generally nice guy. Now I pretend to be an asshole because I'm actually very introverted and I don't enjoy socializing much
  • leanandclean

    Posts: 273

    Dec 20, 2015 4:53 PM GMT
    The straight guys (if they are straight) might think that you are an appealing and comfortable person to experiment with.
  • Willingshy

    Posts: 13

    Dec 20, 2015 5:41 PM GMT
    You know...you all make valid points. A friend of mine told me that this generation is the first generation of gay men who feel that society doesn't expect/force them to get married to a woman. Before this time, staying single wasn't an option, so most men just ended up getting married to a woman regardless of orientation? And yes, a person told me that I come across as being 'personable' and since I am 'discreet', maybe they feel that they can try to do things they've always fantasized about trying?

    Also, I am beginning to realize that there are a HELL of a lot of 'bi' guys out there versus what one would expect!

    Very helpful comments...please keep them coming.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Dec 20, 2015 5:43 PM GMT
    I would say that getting hit on by "both sides of the street" (str8/gay) is quite the compliment and something to be enjoyed.



    icon_biggrin.gif




    After reading your profile and admiring your pic I can certainly understand why this is happening.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 6:28 PM GMT
    Willingshy saidI am not out and as far as I know, I am a straight acting, masculine guy


    There is a benefit being out as a gay man; if you dont like having rumors about you or dont like confusion what you might be thinking. Be clear what your needs & expectations are and just maybe some of them may get met.

    likely they already suspect your gay or bi. you hiding in the closet; for someone who could really care, could judge you as too much work to bother. Where are you going to be 5 years form now?

  • ASHDOD

    Posts: 1057

    Dec 20, 2015 6:54 PM GMT
    trolololololl
  • bro4bro

    Posts: 1035

    Dec 20, 2015 6:58 PM GMT
    Two guys I know - a married couple who are very athletic and muscly - went on a Caribbean cruise, not a gay one, just a "regular" one. They were hit on pretty much nonstop by "straight" guys who were there with their wives and kids!

    As I've said before, the difference between gay guys and straight guys isn't the desire to have sex with men, it's the willingness to do something about it!
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    Dec 20, 2015 7:32 PM GMT
    Maybe they are straight acting masculine closest hangers, too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 8:18 PM GMT
    strawbeary saidmy best friend once told me that I have this "friendly" vibe which makes people think I treat them special, but I'm just a generally nice guy. Now I pretend to be an asshole because I'm actually very introverted and I don't enjoy socializing much

    I had a straight coworker like this. Being around him was like taking tranquilizers, he made you feel calm and completely comfortable.

    And to make matters worse, so to speak, he was very handsome and athletic.
  • Willingshy

    Posts: 13

    Dec 20, 2015 10:13 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidYou assume that these "married" and "attached" guys are straight. There are tons of "married" and "attached guys", especially here in the DC metro area, who're in sham straight relationships--the majority of whom are sub bottoms. Don't ask me why I know.


    How do you know? ;-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 10:34 PM GMT
    These "straight guys" aren't completely straight, and some of the time they just genuinely want to be around you non sexually.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2015 11:15 PM GMT
    They ain't straight.
    They're indeed acting though. Straight acting is just the coined term.
  • Sincityfan

    Posts: 409

    Dec 21, 2015 1:32 AM GMT
    You're straight acting? Does that mean you fuck women but then cry about it in your dimly lit bedroom? Or do you just go around shouting, "Hey mamacita, you looking good!" whenever you see a hot chick walk past you?


    I don't care what anybody says, internalized homophobia hot!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2015 2:53 AM GMT
    Ahhh Southern Metropolitan areas full of young professionals, young families, and promise. Please the family, your boss, and your bros, and have your cake on the side when no one's looking. Seems to work for people until they get caught or hit their mid life crisis.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2015 3:29 AM GMT
    Maybe they just want to worship your muscles.icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2015 4:49 AM GMT
    Runninchlt saidAhhh Southern Metropolitan areas full of young professionals, young families, and promise. Please the family, your boss, and your bros, and have your cake on the side when no one's looking. Seems to work for people until they get caught or hit their mid life crisis.


    cha ching Houston is full of them. Some of these women just don't know. One woman did tell me that Houston men generally aren't raised to be faithful, just discreet.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Dec 21, 2015 5:00 AM GMT
    I'd say that the only way you are going to know what is going on is to take a statistically significant number of these guys up on their requests.

    Common sense would dictate that you have a ready supply of condoms and lube and that you also be ready for some platonic times as well.

    What the hell, it's life in the big city.
  • Zigs_01

    Posts: 226

    Dec 21, 2015 3:46 PM GMT
    I don't think you should sleep with these guys or hang out with them if they invited to you flirt with them. I think these people are not so good people.
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    Dec 21, 2015 4:35 PM GMT
    MrFuscle said
    Runninchlt saidAhhh Southern Metropolitan areas full of young professionals, young families, and promise. Please the family, your boss, and your bros, and have your cake on the side when no one's looking. Seems to work for people until they get caught or hit their mid life crisis.


    cha ching Houston is full of them. Some of these women just don't know. One woman did tell me that Houston men generally aren't raised to be faithful, just discreet.


    Funny you should mention this... In the last two weeks, i was contacted by a gym buddy from my previous gym. He and I used to work out together, and he would make silly locker room comments at the time, with regards to showering together and getting a good look at each other. He wanted me to help him with tuning up his car one day, but then followed with he's going to show up with shorts and no underwear. At that point, i declined and didn't speak to him again. I never paid him any mind, since he's married. Fast forward to two weeks ago, three years later. He wanted to find out how i was, and seeing that it had been so long, catch up over lunch. I was a bit leery over it, and just gave it time, seeing that he was gonna come back with the same nonsense. I never got together with him, but on Saturday night, two weeks ago, i received a text that his newborn daughter and wife are asleep.... If I come pick him up, i can do anything i want to him. Eeeek!

    I didn't respond and the following morning, called him to let him know that I'm interested in neither hooking up with him, nor his friendship. This past weekend, he text me that he's sorry to have put me in this position, but he would like to talk to me to explain his fucked up thought process. My response was that I don't need an explanation from him, just channel his sexual desires into his wife, and have a nice rest of life. Haven't heard from him since. LOL

    Cheers,

    Sean
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2015 5:12 PM GMT
    From the experienced perspective of a guy in his 50's....

    I think you're wasting time with "straight" or sexually confused guys, especially ones who fool around on their partners. They're betraying the person closest to them.

    I found nothing compares to a LTR....to love each other, and all the affection and friendship and intimacy that goes along with it. But you must start with a guy who accepts himself as gay, and is not lying to others about it. You must offer that as well. You're 27, and it's time to start exploring past just the physical. You deserve better than some straight guy looking to get off.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2015 8:09 PM GMT
    I pity all the gay men who are so obsessed and mentally absorbed with straight men. Calling yourself "straight acting" is the biggest joke of all. Stop putting on an act and just be yourself. This is a deep psychological issue and I would highly recommend counseling.

    And OP, it really sounds like you are just bragging about...being able to attract "straight men." Like, it's an achievement of some sorts. You didn't win the Olympics buddy. And FYI, it's never a sexy thing to be sleeping around with married men or men who are in relationships. It's like begging the universe to keep you single and alone for the rest of your life.
  • Willingshy

    Posts: 13

    Dec 21, 2015 11:17 PM GMT
    GTPSean said
    MrFuscle said
    Runninchlt saidAhhh Southern Metropolitan areas full of young professionals, young families, and promise. Please the family, your boss, and your bros, and have your cake on the side when no one's looking. Seems to work for people until they get caught or hit their mid life crisis.


    cha ching Houston is full of them. Some of these women just don't know. One woman did tell me that Houston men generally aren't raised to be faithful, just discreet.


    Funny you should mention this... In the last two weeks, i was contacted by a gym buddy from my previous gym. He and I used to work out together, and he would make silly locker room comments at the time, with regards to showering together and getting a good look at each other. He wanted me to help him with tuning up his car one day, but then followed with he's going to show up with shorts and no underwear. At that point, i declined and didn't speak to him again. I never paid him any mind, since he's married. Fast forward to two weeks ago, three years later. He wanted to find out how i was, and seeing that it had been so long, catch up over lunch. I was a bit leery over it, and just gave it time, seeing that he was gonna come back with the same nonsense. I never got together with him, but on Saturday night, two weeks ago, i received a text that his newborn daughter and wife are asleep.... If I come pick him up, i can do anything i want to him. Eeeek!

    I didn't respond and the following morning, called him to let him know that I'm interested in neither hooking up with him, nor his friendship. This past weekend, he text me that he's sorry to have put me in this position, but he would like to talk to me to explain his fucked up thought process. My response was that I don't need an explanation from him, just channel his sexual desires into his wife, and have a nice rest of life. Haven't heard from him since. LOL

    Cheers,

    Sean


    Thanks for the insight...I have the EXACT same thing happening to me. A guy keeps asking me when I am going to come to his gym to 'work out' and keeps talking about how nice the showers are there. I'm like...WTF?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2015 11:20 PM GMT
    This is a problem? HOW?