Older men, do you feel insecure approaching younger men


  • Dec 27, 2015 10:05 PM GMT
    When you are at a bar, club, or bathhouse etc, where older men are seen as unattractive and lecherous?

    I can't seem to approach younger men directly. If I'm direct, they see me as creepy; if I try small-talk, they see it as manipulative. If I buy them a drink, they just take it and don't talk to me after. Some are offended that I even approach them, as if "how dare you stray out of your league!" as if I'm a second-class citizen. How do older men not feel insecure in a culture where the age of gay death is 30
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    Dec 27, 2015 10:17 PM GMT
    i have a daughter about their age from a previous marriage. Yes i would feel creepy, just me.
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    Dec 27, 2015 11:11 PM GMT
    seekingyounger said
    How do older men not feel insecure in a culture where the age of gay death is 30

    A potentially big topic. I used to joke when I came out at 45, the latest of late bloomers, that my gay age was 147. And to a lot of these younger guys I was. At least I recognized the situation and didn't try to pretend I was younger than I was. I saw guys my age, and older, who tried that, and I thought it was pathetic.

    So I simply focused on my own age range. That offered every advantage I wanted:

    - Financially secure, weren't looking for me to support them, pay their bar or dinner tab. Nor me them.
    - Same generational background. We could talk about and relate to the same things.
    - Sexually experienced.
    - While some were chicken-hawks, most were grateful, like me, to socialize with our own age group.
    - I could understand their language. They weren't using words, phrases & euphemisms unknown to me.
    - We dressed more or less alike, weren't an odd couple when we went somewhere together.
    - Understood why we weren't gonna go out much after midnight, instead go right home to bed (together).
    - Most didn't do drugs, their biggest vice a cocktail, and within reason.
    - Their conversation and knowledge of the world was infinitely more interesting than some youngster.

    No, I prefer guys my own age. To each generation its own. And I'm sure younger guys can tick off all the reasons they like their own age group best, and why old guys are a no-go for them in most cases. Good for them, good for all of us to recognize & accept our niche in life.
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    Dec 27, 2015 11:16 PM GMT
    They usually approach me icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 27, 2015 11:24 PM GMT
    NJDewd saidThey usually approach me icon_smile.gif

    Sometimes happens to me, too. But you've met me in person, you know I'm no prize. And I've aged a lot since you last saw me, and not for the better. icon_sad.gif

    So I'm suspicious right from the get-go. I'll interact with them socially, and be friendly, but they're simply out of my price range, as I used to call it when I was single. And of course you've met my C***** in person, so that makes it final - no sale. LOL!
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    Dec 27, 2015 11:24 PM GMT
    To hell with them if they give you attitude about your age. Approach a guy as you would approach otherwise which is in an unapologetic way. You fancy him, either he can take it as compliment or he could spoil his mood that an old dude creep'd him out which is his problem not yours.
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    Dec 27, 2015 11:27 PM GMT
    seekingyounger saidWhen you are at a bar, club, or bathhouse etc, where older men are seen as unattractive and lecherous?

    I can't seem to approach younger men directly. If I'm direct, they see me as creepy; if I try small-talk, they see it as manipulative. If I buy them a drink, they just take it and don't talk to me after. Some are offended that I even approach them, as if "how dare you stray out of your league!" as if I'm a second-class citizen. How do older men not feel insecure in a culture where the age of gay death is 30


    Show me your abs. Older fit guys with great body seem to have younger guys flocking to them. Being older is not the problem.

  • Dec 28, 2015 12:54 AM GMT
    I heard that a lot of older guys here who claim to get interest from younger are just lying to make themselves appear hotter icon_neutral.gif
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    Dec 28, 2015 1:40 AM GMT
    seekingyounger saidI heard that a lot of older guys here who claim to get interest from younger are just lying to make themselves appear hotter icon_neutral.gif


    If you aren't a troll I am going to be honest with you. Fuck the guys on this site. If you want a younger dude bring something to the table. That's either going to be money, a great body, or the biggest dick with the best stroke in history. If you can pull your britches up and catch the kind of guy you want who the fuck cares what the guys on this site are doing. You'll be way too busy nailing hot ass to care. Look at yourself. You are average. No hot young thang wants an average old man. Even if they did your a dime a dozen because tons of average older men are vying for their attention. Set yourself apart.
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    Dec 28, 2015 1:41 AM GMT
    NJDewd saidThey usually approach me icon_smile.gif


    Funny, I generally stop and eat immediately after I leave the gym.

    And sure enough, it happened as I was reading this thread and specially had just gotten to your post.

    He had just walked up behind me and asked if he could sit with me while he was taking his break.

    I'm very friendly everywhere I go, but more so with an endorphin buzz from the gym. He works there at the restaurant and has been getting more and more friendly with me each time I'm in there so I wasn't all that surprised. It was just funny what post I was reading when I looked up and saw him standing there.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3516

    Dec 28, 2015 2:24 AM GMT
    you have to have something that the kids want for them to want you. Body hair, Muscles, a dominant personality. What do you have to offer. There are things the kids want do you have them? I you do they will come to you (or at least some mid forties guys...50 may be pushing it).
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 28, 2015 2:34 AM GMT
    When I was young everyone was older ... Now I'm old and everyone is younger
  • mystery905

    Posts: 745

    Dec 28, 2015 3:25 AM GMT
    Part of the appeal of older men, at least for me, is that they seem to be more confident and mature.

    If you don't have the confidence to deal with younger men, then you are not going to make a good impression.

  • Matthew56

    Posts: 392

    Dec 28, 2015 8:06 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]seekingyounger said[/cite]When you are at a bar, club, or bathhouse etc, where older men are seen as unattractive and lecherous?

    I can't seem to approach younger men directly. If I'm direct, they see me as creepy; if I try small-talk, they see it as manipulative. If I buy them a drink, they just take it and don't talk to me after. Some are offended that I even approach them, as if "how dare you stray out of your league!" as if I'm a second-class citizen. How do older men not feel insecure in a culture where the age of gay death is 30[/quote

    Only when it comes to white men to non white young men like black and especially East Asian men they feel very confident than going to a white young men. This is because they perceive them as a an easy target due to the fact of sexual racism and the Gay racial hierarchy
  • mystery905

    Posts: 745

    Dec 28, 2015 12:48 PM GMT
    Matthew56 said[quote][cite]seekingyounger said[/cite]When you are at a bar, club, or bathhouse etc, where older men are seen as unattractive and lecherous?

    I can't seem to approach younger men directly. If I'm direct, they see me as creepy; if I try small-talk, they see it as manipulative. If I buy them a drink, they just take it and don't talk to me after. Some are offended that I even approach them, as if "how dare you stray out of your league!" as if I'm a second-class citizen. How do older men not feel insecure in a culture where the age of gay death is 30[/quote

    Only when it comes to white men to non white young men like black and especially East Asian men they feel very confident than going to a white young men. This is because they perceive them as a an easy target due to the fact of sexual racism and the Gay racial hierarchy


    OMG stop making everything about race. You need professional help!
  • venue35

    Posts: 4644

    Dec 28, 2015 1:03 PM GMT
    I saw Calvin Klein walking around with his boyfriend who is at least 40 years younger..i guess you could say they looked ridiculous but it's their business.
    Age is a sensitive subject. I guess you can just try to keep looking as young as you can for as long as possible.
    As for the OP he looks like a lab test on a farm animal that went horribly wrong..some things just can't be fixed!
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    Dec 28, 2015 3:20 PM GMT
    venue35 saidI saw Calvin Klein walking around with his boyfriend who is at least 40 years younger..i guess you could say they looked ridiculous but it's their business.
    Age is a sensitive subject. I guess you can just try to keep looking as young as you can for as long as possible.
    As for the OP he looks like a lab test on a farm animal that went horribly wrong..some things just can't be fixed!


    This place can never rid itself of trolls.
  • Matthew56

    Posts: 392

    Dec 28, 2015 5:45 PM GMT
    mystery905 said
    Matthew56 said[quote][cite]seekingyounger said[/cite]When you are at a bar, club, or bathhouse etc, where older men are seen as unattractive and lecherous?

    I can't seem to approach younger men directly. If I'm direct, they see me as creepy; if I try small-talk, they see it as manipulative. If I buy them a drink, they just take it and don't talk to me after. Some are offended that I even approach them, as if "how dare you stray out of your league!" as if I'm a second-class citizen. How do older men not feel insecure in a culture where the age of gay death is 30[/quote

    Only when it comes to white men to non white young men like black and especially East Asian men they feel very confident than going to a white young men. This is because they perceive them as a an easy target due to the fact of sexual racism and the Gay racial hierarchy


    OMG stop making everything about race. You need professional help!
    m

    But it's true though older white men feel more confident in approaching young East Asian/black men because they know that they are more of an easy target and won't bite their head like white young men if they dare to approach them
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Dec 28, 2015 6:05 PM GMT
    Some gays see age as a curse, but there's something to be said about age fostering experience and knowledge .Most young guys can't accomplish this because of their immaturity and indecision.
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    Dec 28, 2015 6:33 PM GMT
    mybud saidSome gays see age as a curse, but there's something to be said about age fostering experience and knowledge .Most young guys can't accomplish this because of their immaturity and indecision.

    Well, I'm stuck with the older age I am, for better or worse. I can't reverse the clock, and I did have my youth, so I wasn't cheated. The clock ran no faster for me than it runs for anyone else. The question is what you do with advanced age.

    As I wrote above I socialize with other guys my age, for some practical reasons I listed. As many younger guys socialize with their own age range, for good reasons I'm sure they can enumerate.

    It's the circle of life. Accept it and embrace it guys. I'm not sure we have a lot of other options.
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    Dec 28, 2015 6:34 PM GMT
    seekingyounger saidI heard that a lot of older guys here who claim to get interest from younger are just lying to make themselves appear hotter icon_neutral.gif


    I don't need to fabricate anything!
  • mystery905

    Posts: 745

    Dec 28, 2015 6:47 PM GMT
    NJDewd said
    seekingyounger saidI heard that a lot of older guys here who claim to get interest from younger are just lying to make themselves appear hotter icon_neutral.gif


    I don't need to fabricate anything!


    No you don't icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 28, 2015 7:17 PM GMT
    freedomisntfree said
    NJDewd saidThey usually approach me icon_smile.gif


    Funny, I generally stop and eat immediately after I leave the gym.

    And sure enough, it happened as I was reading this thread and specially had just gotten to your post.

    He had just walked up behind me and asked if he could sit with me while he was taking his break.

    I'm very friendly everywhere I go, but more so with an endorphin buzz from the gym. He works there at the restaurant and has been getting more and more friendly with me each time I'm in there so I wasn't all that surprised. It was just funny what post I was reading when I looked up and saw him standing there.


    As I am!! What's the rest of the story??
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    Dec 28, 2015 7:18 PM GMT
    mystery905 said
    NJDewd said
    seekingyounger saidI heard that a lot of older guys here who claim to get interest from younger are just lying to make themselves appear hotter icon_neutral.gif


    I don't need to fabricate anything!


    No you don't icon_biggrin.gif



    Thanks so much! icon_surprised.gif
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    Dec 28, 2015 7:52 PM GMT
    seekingyounger saidI heard that a lot of older guys here who claim to get interest from younger are just lying to make themselves appear hotter icon_neutral.gif


    It's the same strategy for the blacks and Asians who claim to not notice any racial hierarchy whatsoever