Suetonius saidThere is absolutlely too much hype on RJ about anal sex/tops/bottoms. I can take it or leave it. Oral is underrated here. Sex is all about orgasms - eventually - and it matters little how one gets there.
I would argue that sex doesn't have to be about orgasms. Most of the time when my bf and I are fooling around I don't even orgasm. (That's not involving penetration.) At least for those in relationships, I think it's more about the shared experience and connection (as sappy as that sounds.)
Maybe it depends on what your definition of "sex" is. (remember Bill Clintion --"depends on what the defintion of "is" is.") For most of us, cuddling, lying together, caressing, while pleasurable and important in a relationship, don't themselves aconstitute "sex". IMHO, vanilla sex, even for guys in relationships, as much as it involves "shared experience and connection," (and intimacy) many more times than not involves an orgasm by at least one partner. (B&D, SM, etc, have their own paths, and I'm no expert there.)