Bachelors Who Are Ready for Something More

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 07, 2016 5:49 PM GMT
    NYT: “Are you single?”

    That stomach-churning fear was perhaps best expressed by the comedian Chris Rock in his 1996 special “Bring the Pain”: “Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually. Because you don’t want to be the old guy in the club. You know what I’m talking about. Every club you go into, there’s always some old guy. He ain’t really old — just a little too old to be in the club.”

    “People think that if you are gay and you are single, particularly in the city, that there is this sort of unbridled freedom,” said Ryan Wallace, a 35-year-old who works in corporate communications for a Fortune 200 company. “That you’re at the gym, you’re at the office, you’re at happy hour, and it’s just a constant on-the-go lifestyle. That may be true for part of your life, in your 20s. Gender identities aside, as everyone gets older, your priorities change.”

    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/08/fashion/mens-style/new-york-bachelors-yearn-for-more.html?
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 875

    Jan 07, 2016 6:52 PM GMT
    Yup. As you age, your priorities are very likely to change.

    Yet, relationships are usually not found in a supermarket, neatly packed for you to pick up, and take home.

    Like everything else in life, whatever is really worth something requires significant investment in time, effort, money and discipline, to mention the few. Be it, career, looks, education, friendships, relationships. The fact that so many people have to choose some over the other is a sad, yet undeniable fact of contemporary life.

    Once you have called your shots, and made your choices, you have got to live with them.

    Not everything is doom and gloom, though. A successful guy out there who is still sane and have decent looks is a desirable dating material. If he puts some effort into it, the chances are that he does not have to stay single, unless he wishes to do so.

    A big obstacle to dating success with quite a few men is their sense of self-entitlement. See, I have been hard-working, successful, etc., I deserve a partner. Nope. You don't. You have got to go and get him/her. Your partner is not an automatic part of your benefit package.

    SC
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 07, 2016 7:07 PM GMT
    A lot of bitching and wining in this article and nobody wants that. Just make sure you are in shape, not crazy, angry, or oppressive and open up to people. The notion that age is an issue in dating is only true after 50 or 60. The media wants you to believe this so they can sell you more ads to buy shit. Young people want you to believe this so you can value them more and buy them shit. Men in there 30, 40, and some in there 50s who are good looking and sane are in high demand. There is a sexiness that only age can provide.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 07, 2016 7:09 PM GMT
    SilverRRCloud saidYup. As you age, your priorities are very likely to change.

    Yet, relationships are usually not found in a supermarket, neatly packed for you to pick up, and take home.

    Like everything else in life, whatever is really worth something requires significant investment in time, effort, money and discipline, to mention the few. Be it, career, looks, education, friendships, relationships. The fact that so many people have to choose some over the other is a sad, yet undeniable fact of contemporary life.

    Once you have called your shots, and made your choices, you have got to live with them.

    Not everything is doom and gloom, though. A successful guy out there who is still sane and have decent looks is a desirable dating material. If he puts some effort into it, the chances are that he does not have to stay single, unless he wishes to do so.

    A big obstacle to dating success with quite a few men is their sense of self-entitlement. See, I have been hard-working, successful, etc., I deserve a partner. Nope. You don't. You have got to go and get him/her. Your partner is not an automatic part of your benefit package.

    SC


    Unless you are member of the Saudi royal family
  • badbug

    Posts: 800

    Jan 07, 2016 7:56 PM GMT

    I think the internet really changes that "in the club" idea.

    Back in 1996, that's how you met people. In the club, at parties, through friends. The older you got, the far less single people were in the club, at those parties. Everyone was married or engaged by 27-28 or even before.

    Now, more older men and women are single. There is online dating that people don't scoff at anymore and just far more general acceptance of people not getting married or having children. People are way quicker to get divorced and are way quicker to end relationships over anything, especially boredom.


    About 8 years ago, i had two roomates. One was 60, and dating. The other was 53 and dating. Neither were attractive or successful, they had roomates in their 50s! It's anecdotal but i think it's easier than ever to start later in life. Just take this site for instance, there is quite a few cute guys in their late 40s and 50s that post. I think, eventually, is being pushed further and further back.


    Just make sure you are in shape, not crazy, angry


    To myself: "now don't be sad, one outta three ain't bad"



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 09, 2016 6:21 PM GMT
    The Golden Girls was a great show
  • beaujangle

    Posts: 1701

    Jan 10, 2016 1:06 AM GMT
    SilverRRCloud saidYup. As you age, your priorities are very likely to change.

    Yet, relationships are usually not found in a supermarket, neatly packed for you to pick up, and take home.

    Like everything else in life, whatever is really worth something requires significant investment in time, effort, money and discipline, to mention the few. Be it, career, looks, education, friendships, relationships. The fact that so many people have to choose some over the other is a sad, yet undeniable fact of contemporary life.

    Once you have called your shots, and made your choices, you have got to live with them.

    Not everything is doom and gloom, though. A successful guy out there who is still sane and have decent looks is a desirable dating material. If he puts some effort into it, the chances are that he does not have to stay single, unless he wishes to do so.

    A big obstacle to dating success with quite a few men is their sense of self-entitlement. See, I have been hard-working, successful, etc., I deserve a partner. Nope. You don't. You have got to go and get him/her. Your partner is not an automatic part of your benefit package.

    SC


    +1 agree that you need to go & get him. And that's just the start! It requires work henceforth ...
  • beaujangle

    Posts: 1701

    Jan 10, 2016 1:15 AM GMT
    badbug said
    I think the internet really changes that "in the club" idea.

    Back in 1996, that's how you met people. In the club, at parties, through friends. The older you got, the far less single people were in the club, at those parties. Everyone was married or engaged by 27-28 or even before.

    Now, more older men and women are single. There is online dating that people don't scoff at anymore and just far more general acceptance of people not getting married or having children. People are way quicker to get divorced and are way quicker to end relationships over anything, especially boredom.


    About 8 years ago, i had two roomates. One was 60, and dating. The other was 53 and dating. Neither were attractive or successful, they had roomates in their 50s! It's anecdotal but i think it's easier than ever to start later in life. Just take this site for instance, there is quite a few cute guys in their late 40s and 50s that post. I think, eventually, is being pushed further and further back.


    Just make sure you are in shape, not crazy, angry


    To myself: "now don't be sad, one outta three ain't bad"



    And yes, in addition to being in shape and not angry, another advantage that older people have is maturity and wisdom (very important in forming stable relationships) and they are more likely to know what they want and avoid earlier mistakes they've made.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2016 2:46 AM GMT
    beaujangle said
    SilverRRCloud saidYup. As you age, your priorities are very likely to change.

    Yet, relationships are usually not found in a supermarket, neatly packed for you to pick up, and take home.

    Like everything else in life, whatever is really worth something requires significant investment in time, effort, money and discipline, to mention the few. Be it, career, looks, education, friendships, relationships. The fact that so many people have to choose some over the other is a sad, yet undeniable fact of contemporary life.

    Once you have called your shots, and made your choices, you have got to live with them.

    Not everything is doom and gloom, though. A successful guy out there who is still sane and have decent looks is a desirable dating material. If he puts some effort into it, the chances are that he does not have to stay single, unless he wishes to do so.

    A big obstacle to dating success with quite a few men is their sense of self-entitlement. See, I have been hard-working, successful, etc., I deserve a partner. Nope. You don't. You have got to go and get him/her. Your partner is not an automatic part of your benefit package.

    SC


    +1 agree that you need to go & get him. And that's just the start! It requires work henceforth ...


    Life is starting to show me this isn't true. There are many older gay men who act like 19 year olds when it comes to relationships