Jan 13, 2016 3:48 PM GMT
NYT: I think my father, who died 10 years ago, was gay or preferred men, but I have no proof. I base my suspicion mostly on the way he looked at people, some magazine subscriptions and one conversation.
I came out to my parents in the 1970s, while home from college. That same night, my father took me aside and confided that before his marriage he had an affair with a man but got psychological help and was ‘‘cured.’’ He hoped I would do the same. He said, ‘‘Promise not to tell your mother — it will break her heart.’’ I promised.
Some time later, I asked him to tell me more about that man, but he denied the whole story, and we had a bit of a fight. However, many years later, in a brief autobiography he wrote for his grandchildren, he referred to a high-school friendship that he would ‘‘rather not talk about.’’
Am I obliged to tell my mother any of this?