Is Small Talk Necessary? Can't We Just Say What We Want?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2016 6:00 PM GMT
    NYT: Why can’t we replace trivial conversations with meaningful ones, and ask each other profound questions right from the start?
  • AttisXVI

    Posts: 293

    Jan 14, 2016 6:10 PM GMT
    I feel like on Grindr when your first message is, "Looking?" you skipped all the small talk.

    And where does that get you?

    Small talk is sort of a buffer. It gives you a little insight into a guy's personality. If you're just looking to get a leg-over, no there's no need for it. But if you are dating, small talk is just going to happen. It isn't personal, it isn't revealing. On the other hand, it's way better to talk about interests. Small talk is ultimately a dead end unless you can steer it into something actually interesting.

    You don't NEED to ask the philosophical questions up front because deep thoughts are personal. I'm not going to talk to someone I've never met about my deep dark theories of the value of religion. I'm going to sit in bed with a guy I know I like and have a deep meaningful conversation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2016 9:28 PM GMT
    Small talk is sort of an extrovert thang. I had a psych professor in college who introduced herself by saying she was an e-vert.
    Instant loathe.

  • oldfart

    Posts: 329

    Jan 15, 2016 3:19 PM GMT
    One man's small talk is another man's passion.

    Who cares about opera or football, right?
  • mont_33r

    Posts: 40

    Jan 16, 2016 2:29 AM GMT
    Small talk can be loathsome, but it's almost a nonoptional social convention (as Sheldon Cooper might say). Many people can't stand the perceived awkwardness of silence (even me sometimes, and I'm an introvert).