CHEATING

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 07, 2007 8:14 PM GMT
    I am in a long term monogamous relationship. I have never cheated. Lately I am feeling the urge to get plowed by a hot stranger. The feeling is getting stronger and I am not sure what to do about it. I have j/o, had sex and I still want a stranger to really give it to me.

    Partner would never agree to an open relationship or even want to hear the words sex with someone else.

    Have you ever cheated and how did you feel afterwards?
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 07, 2007 9:43 PM GMT
    Maybe it's just me, but I've found that fantasies are usually better than the reality.

    Instead of cheating, have you considered talking to your partner about doing some role playing? Maybe open your fantasy to have your bf 'share you with a stranger', and have him use a dildo on you?
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    Oct 08, 2007 4:06 AM GMT
    Cheating will screw with your head and blow up your relationship if you have a relationship with strict monogamous expectations.

    Timberoo might be on to something - you're going to have to talk about your fantasies with your bf and see if you can get him in a playful mood. If he's consistent in his love making, maybe he can change his approach - roughen it up a bit if that's what your fatasizing. Maybe take if further, get him some clothes that aren't his norm, or do something different with his hair, arrange to meet him with a wink or a sexy stare from across the room at a venue you don't normally frequent. Even rent a car for the night and have him take you to it and make out there.
    Go 'hook up' at a motel.icon_twisted.gif


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    Oct 08, 2007 4:10 AM GMT
    OHhikerGo 'hook up' at a motel.

    lol, every town has a "no tell" motel.
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    Oct 08, 2007 4:48 AM GMT
    Don't cheat!!!

    Not only are you cheating on partner but you are cheating on yourself as your mind will continue to go back there and then you get the guilts and then you will blame him, for not being the person you wanted.

    This urge you have will pass, sometimes it takes a little longer than others.

    What you need to do is look around at the people who are cheating, and ask yourselve are they really happy or just satisfying a need or an urge, or even worse just trying to build their ego up saying another notch in the belt.

    Say faithful to the BF but fantize and talk openly to him of you desires.

    Hope all works ell for you..
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    Oct 08, 2007 5:32 AM GMT
    Or inhale a bag of M&M's, chase it with a couple of beers, and you won't feel like doing anything, but being a slug on your couch.

    But seriously talk to your partner though you may have to preface it carefully. Also the more you dwell on the subject the more you're going to want it and the stronger the fantasy becomes.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Oct 08, 2007 5:40 AM GMT
    and some guys wonder how they get STD's or hiv in a monogamous relationship..not icon_surprised.gif
  • OutOfEden

    Posts: 100

    Oct 08, 2007 5:42 AM GMT
    If you cheat it will end your relationship, if you're considering cheating, you should instead be considering whether you want to break up and be single again.
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    Oct 08, 2007 5:45 AM GMT
    Not whether, but why...
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    Oct 08, 2007 8:11 AM GMT
    I've never cheated on a lover. I've had lovers cheat on me and I've always ended the relationship right there. Once you commit to a monogamous relationship with me, cheating is a deal-breaker.

    Have I felt what you're feeling? Yes... and I've employed several of the above suggested ideas... role playing with my partner being the one that usually does the trick for me.

    Think carefully on this before you act. Is it worth destroying your relationship just because you wanted rough sex with a stranger? Or is your relationship worth protecting? Yes, your needs are important, but if you want to keep your relationship strong, finding a way to meet those needs within the relationship is the way to go.

    Good luck!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2007 12:20 PM GMT
    wrerickOr inhale a bag of M&M's, chase it with a couple of beers, and you won't feel like doing anything, but being a slug on your couch.


    In my house, this usually counts as foreplay...
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    Oct 08, 2007 12:40 PM GMT
    MIke Mike mike......here here....took the words right out of my mouth!!! That posting is a walking talking advertisement for safe sex no matter what the circumstances...you may think your loyal partner is monogomous...but secretly he is getting fucked by stangers and bringing std's or worse, HIV home to you....yay...makes me wanna run out and marry a man tomorrow!!!!
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Oct 08, 2007 3:19 PM GMT
    My ex bf cheat on me. A couple of month after that I started to cheat on him. My ex bf leave me to live with the guy he been screwing. Now my ex bf is cheating on his live in bf, by having sex with me when his bf are not around.

    Cheating is the name of the game.

    zak
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2007 3:31 PM GMT
    If you really love your partner, do not do it!
  • Guapoboricua

    Posts: 1

    Oct 08, 2007 3:45 PM GMT
    Totally not worth it!!!
    I did it and ended up destroying the best relationship I ever had. Talk to your patner about it but don't cheat. He will find out sooner or later. Good luck!!
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    Oct 11, 2007 12:52 PM GMT
    The general consenus is not to CHEAT!!!! When my ex-lover did that to me and confessed (which was more for his benefit, not mine) I could not even look at him afterwards and we were DONE! He became a totally diffrent person to me.

    I made it very clear from the begining what the deal breakers were hitting and cheating.

    So if you value your relationship Don't Cheat.icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 04, 2007 4:30 PM GMT
    DON'T DO IT! if you really love your hubby. i've once read a book "80:20 a ratio of love and lust". it says that we can never have 100% of our wants or our desires and 80% is the most that we could. we often get attracted to others because we found the missing 20% from them ...which we didn't find from our hubby (that's only 20; would you trade your 80 to 20? nah!). so next time you see those stranger.... tell them.... NAH! got my 80 already! (but most of the time that 20 is so hot and tempting ....i mean sooooooo hoticon_evil.gif and soooooo tempting!icon_twisted.gif lol. but seriously, DON'T DO IT. don't start the engine of dishonesty ...its way is prone to accident.icon_lol.gif
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    Dec 04, 2007 5:21 PM GMT
    don't do it! to do it would be to plant something sinister in your heart towards your bf, a resentment or a guilt or a distance, that he'd pick up on and be confused and hurt by. he'll find out one way or another, even if its a year from now- and the pain that'd cause isn't worth the small satisfaction of fulfilling that particular sexual fantasy. i've never cheated and never will, and once someone enters a relationship with me, its a deal breaker if they choose to- those things are always uncovered sooner or later. i agree with above posts- candidness and trust and communication are at the heart of a relationship.. talk to him about it and consider role playing or something. and if the urge is THAT strong... if your current sex life is SO unsatisfying, then break it off and save yourselves the greater misery of that future hurt. in this instance, it would seem u can't have your cake and eat it too, one way or another, but the last thing you should do is cheat. trust is integral to any relationship- don't undermine your bf's- the karma will get'cha. kuddos for having the sense of morality enough to question your urge and not just impulsively act on it...