I feel depressed and inferior because I'm not white

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2016 10:20 PM GMT
    I'm from Colombia.
    I'm pretty average looking. Not beautiful, but not ugly either. I have light skin with some latino features. Hairy, toned.

    Ever since I moved to the US (NYC), I realized all the racism issues were true. The pathetic thing is, even though I'm technically white, I'm not "white white," that means I may have white skin but I don't have Caucasian facial features.

    Everytime I'm on the train and I see white people hanging out together, I feel inferior. I feel unattractive, I wanna be part of them and feel better.

    I feel better when I hang around white people, I feel superior and like I fit in. I even started to imitate the way they dress. I'm preppy now and many white people have complimented my looks.

    When it comes to dating, I reject everyone who isn't Caucasian or white Hispanic. Dating someone different would feel like downgrading and not someone I'd show to my friends or walking around the city.

    I feel like I will never be 100% happy until I have a white boyfriend and white friends.

    When I go back to my country, I don't experience this pressure to be white and fit in because, in a way, I'm more desirable over there.

    Has anyone ever felt like this?
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    Jan 18, 2016 10:25 PM GMT
    Damn dude, that must suck to not be white. You should start a gofundme page to raise the funds for white-conversion therapy.
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    Jan 18, 2016 10:33 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidDamn dude, that must suck to not be white. You should start a gofundme page to raise the funds for white-conversion therapy.


    I wouldn't be surprised if these exist. I wouldn't be surprised if they actually got some funding.
  • shutoman

    Posts: 505

    Jan 18, 2016 10:40 PM GMT
    For what it's worth I tend to be attracted to men of darker complexions and that is certainly not unusual.

    I also find the preppy look a complete turn off; nothing is more unattractive to me than the bloned floppy-haired look. It screams wimp.

    Put a photo up of yourself, I bet you're good-looking and there will be plenty PLENTY of men who also prefer stereotypical non 'white' looks.
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    Jan 18, 2016 10:40 PM GMT
    MrFuscle said
    paulflexes saidDamn dude, that must suck to not be white. You should start a gofundme page to raise the funds for white-conversion therapy.


    I wouldn't be surprised if these exist. I wouldn't be surprised if they actually got some funding.
    I wouldn't be surprised, either. It's probably about as effective as gay-conversion therapy or interstellar travel.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2016 10:51 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    MrFuscle said
    paulflexes saidDamn dude, that must suck to not be white. You should start a gofundme page to raise the funds for white-conversion therapy.


    I wouldn't be surprised if these exist. I wouldn't be surprised if they actually got some funding.
    I wouldn't be surprised, either. It's probably about as effective as gay-conversion therapy or interstellar travel.


    Yeah there was actually a thread on here months ago about a butch lesbian who had a go fund me page so she could buy feminine clothes and find a man. A bunch of church people funded it if I'm correct. I'm sure she fleeced them and they deserved it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2016 10:52 PM GMT
    shutoman saidFor what it's worth I tend to be attracted to men of darker complexions and that is certainly not unusual.

    I also find the preppy look a complete turn off; nothing is more unattractive to me than the bloned floppy-haired look. It screams wimp.

    Put a photo up of yourself, I bet you're good-looking and there will be plenty PLENTY of men who also prefer stereotypical non 'white' looks.


    And aren't you a sexy ass white man icon_cool.gif
  • interestingch...

    Posts: 694

    Jan 18, 2016 11:18 PM GMT
    Maybe you should try and accept yourself for who you are and what you look like, it gets easier the older you get, a lot of gay people only go for what you look like which is totally shallow, maybe you should go for chemistry instead, if you relax a little you might accept and be accepted more, insecurity is a turn off, confidence is an aphrodisiac, people will swarm towards you if you have confidence in yourself and are happy, bright and intelligent. You just have to tap into it. I also think being in a big city you are kind of anonymous to a certain degree because its so huge and so many people and its a bit of a battle being there, I studied in NYC so I know what its like.
    Personally I like hispanic or Europeans because they are a bit more laid back, good morals and tend to be open minded when it comes to their view of the world and are more cultured, I quite like darker skin too but its no deal breaker if someone is white.
    Don't worry and be happy, you will figure it out,
    I'm from the UK and white by the way
    Amazing looking people by the way are quite often boring and up themselves.
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    Jan 19, 2016 5:29 AM GMT
    Thanks for the encouragement, guys.
    I'm actually not dark-skinned. I'm as white as some of you, but my features are not Caucasian.

    I'm thinking I might have to talk to a therapist if I ever want to get over this.
  • interesting

    Posts: 584

    Jan 19, 2016 5:58 AM GMT
    As a POC, I don't have this problem, perhaps I was mostly raised in the states whereas before I came here, I lived in a very homogenized country that now I just don't see white men as more beautiful or more of anything than me. Well perhaps more populated, but that's not an aesthetic issue.

    I don't feel jealous of groups of white people at all, it's not even an issue for me, I guess I don't see color well? And the way "white people dress", it's more of a community influence than anything else I think. Just saying that I don't think we dress in the states based on our race, which is what I'm getting from your post.
  • Beastmode

    Posts: 213

    Jan 19, 2016 6:19 AM GMT
    Wow. Your self loathing and inferiority complex is deep and complex.
    Seriously you really need to love yourself and who you are first.
    Landing yourself a "white" partner isn't necessarily going to fix things. Will you constantly feel unworthy or inferior? That's not a happy place to be.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 19, 2016 7:22 AM GMT
    In other news, I got a promotion at work! ^_^
  • theonewhoknoc...

    Posts: 714

    Jan 19, 2016 7:48 AM GMT
    Inque 2.0?
  • Fireworkz

    Posts: 606

    Jan 20, 2016 9:54 AM GMT
    See a therapist.
  • badbug

    Posts: 800

    Jan 20, 2016 10:05 AM GMT

    Being white is alright. Except at night, you stand out, when you are about.

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    Jan 20, 2016 10:08 AM GMT
    southMetta said
    Being white is alright. Except at night, you stand out, when you are about.




    I know I have a thing for Ukrainian men.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 20, 2016 12:24 PM GMT
    There are obviously some real advantages to being white-- almost all the result of lingering racism or de facto segregation. But it sounds like every problem you have is in your head. You want a white boyfriend and a clutch of white friends? What about that is so attractive exactly? Being "white" isn't an ideal to be looked up to... There's nothing wrong with how you are now. I have friends from Latin America, in fact from Colombia itself, that come to the US and are shocked to learn they aren't "white" afterall, but their uniqueness is an asset and it makes them much more interesting to everyone than your average dude.
  • 6packabs

    Posts: 216

    Jan 20, 2016 11:26 PM GMT
    I made a post last week about the TV series on Amazon Prime "Mozart in the Jungle" featuring a super-sexy Mexican musician and "maestro" orchestra director brought into NYC to lead the orchestra.

    For me, I delight in the show, and oh, baby, I delight in that super sexy "maestro"

    I have met latino guys who I sense feel the same way you do, and I feel bad for the way they feel. Some experience discrimination, but certainly not from me. I love speaking spanish to them and rejoicing in their culture and background. (I can truly say some value is to be had from life experience of having served an LDS (Mormon) mission at age 19-21 to Spain).

    I worked at a bronze art foundry years ago, and treated all those latino's there on an equal footing with myself. I'd draw funny pics of faces of the ones I knew best on breaks, then put a caption on them, posting them to the wall on each break we had. Within time, the workers from all over the foundry would come to my location to spend their break time, laughing and laughing at the latest drawing posted to the wall.

    I would speak spanish with them. When I gave my two week notice, some of them wept and cried. I remember one particular young guy who cried and cried. He was so in love with whatever I did for him that he had numerous times asked me to marry his sister. Haha. He wanted me in his family. I'd be intrigued now, if I could go back, to see if I thought there was any homo-erotic attractions he felt for me specifically. But regardless, we had a great experience together.

    I hope you can find yourself grounded in your own roots, rejoicing in your own cultural background, your genetic makeup, and embrace who you are with enthusiasm.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3534

    Jan 21, 2016 1:49 AM GMT
    ..but all the white people want TANS....
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    Jan 21, 2016 2:03 AM GMT
    Maybe if you're really good and pile up some good Karma in this life god will reward you and reincarnate you as a white person for your next life. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • 6packabs

    Posts: 216

    Jan 22, 2016 1:10 PM GMT
    Apparition said..but all the white people want TANS....


    Amen! Tan is beautiful. (Though I have would-be Italian boyfriends who beg me not to tan, but to stay as white as possible).
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Jan 22, 2016 6:36 PM GMT
    right at the line where you said you weren't beautiful. I already believe that you are not beautiful indeed.

    How about starting the thought that you're beautiful instead?


    I had been thinking that I was undesirable until one day I started to feel soooo beautiful *flowers falling effects*

    And hi, life has never been so much better.

    TRUST ME.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 22, 2016 11:16 PM GMT
    Apparition said..but all the white people want TANS....


    You're not familiar with NotSoHottJoe are you?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 23, 2016 12:03 AM GMT
    He lives in Minnesota - where it's cold, cause he figures he'll "keep" better.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 23, 2016 12:16 AM GMT
    And P.S. I'm starting to feel depressed and inferior because I AM white...icon_evil.gif