Surprising Number Of Americans Still Uncomfortable Seeing Same-Sex Couples Holding Hands

  • metta

    Posts: 39167

    Jan 21, 2016 8:44 AM GMT
    Surprising Number Of Americans Still Uncomfortable Seeing Same-Sex Couples Holding Hands

    Half of Americans think that "gay people have the same rights as everybody else."

    569fbd5b1f0000500021649c.jpeg

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/surprising-number-of-americans-still-uncomfortable-seeing-same-sex-couples-holding-hands_us_569fb292e4b0a7026bf9c154
  • metta

    Posts: 39167

    Jan 21, 2016 8:47 AM GMT
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14389

    Jan 21, 2016 1:11 PM GMT
    This is probably because all the narrow minded bible thumping screwballs are still harping on this like little five year olds.icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 21, 2016 2:47 PM GMT
    A surprising number of gay guys are uncomfortable with holding hands in public. I am serious.
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    Jan 21, 2016 3:01 PM GMT
    metta saidSurprising Number Of Americans Still Uncomfortable Seeing Same-Sex Couples Holding Hands


    In related news, a Surprising Number of Americans Are Still Old and Will Never Change Their Opinion of Gay People Until Death Do Us Part from Them
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    Jan 21, 2016 3:11 PM GMT
    Liberals: When was the last time your Hollywood elitists produced a TV show or movie with gays holding hands?

    Here's the last time I remember:
    tumblr_mrorb3wcfA1r032zxo4_250.gif
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    Jan 21, 2016 3:19 PM GMT
    woodfordr saidA surprising number of gay guys are uncomfortable with holding hands in public. I am serious.

    I think the issue isn't entirely with the public's view of homosexuality, but rather with the average US male's view of masculinity and being macho. Holding hands in public is "girly", a woman's thing.

    Furthermore, when a man holds a woman's hand he may view it more as a protective & reassuring gesture, rather than a purely romantic one. And I'm sure many women view it the same way. But put 2 men together and the question arises of who is protecting whom? Most likely neither man wants to be perceived in that weaker position.

    I live in a mostly gay community where male hand holding in public is frequent and unremarkable. Among women, too, for that matter. I love sitting at a sidewalk table, or inside with a sidewalk view, and see the same-sex couples walking past hand-in-hand. But even here they're still in the minority, in a safe environment where there wouldn't be any criticism of their sexual orientation.
  • hellaux

    Posts: 9

    Jan 21, 2016 3:37 PM GMT
    You bring really good points. I myself have been guilty of some of that, I prefer taller guys with very masculine features, beard and etc. while I am
    Open to walk around holding hands I do feel like people perceive me as the "woman" because of the sexist stereotype and he would be the dominant in charge figure in the relationship. But I don't allow that to get to me and stopping me from doing what I like, however the feeling is still there hahahaha
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    Jan 21, 2016 4:37 PM GMT
    This isn't surprising. I think the percentage of Americans uncomfortable with interracial marriage is still in the twenties.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 21, 2016 6:08 PM GMT
    woodfordr saidA surprising number of gay guys are uncomfortable with holding hands in public. I am serious.


    I agree, it's all about what we are used to seeing and societies "norms"... I remember when I came out, even things like referring to my partner as "my boyfriend" seemed kind of odd. Just give it some time and I'd assume it won't seem uncomfortable.
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    Jan 21, 2016 6:26 PM GMT
    My bf and I hold hands in public. At first I was a bit concerned of how I'd be perceived (this is the first relationship for both of us.) Finally, we both realised that we don't care what other people think of us. We both like each other and that's all that matters. When we go out to eat we always ask for a booth so we can sit next to each other and hold hands. We're both very affectionate towards each other.
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    Jan 21, 2016 7:26 PM GMT
    That really is surprising, given how easy it was to get rid of racism by legislation 50 years ago.
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    Jan 21, 2016 10:01 PM GMT
    runner1701 saidMy bf and I hold hands in public. At first I was a bit concerned of how I'd be perceived (this is the first relationship for both of us.) Finally, we both realised that we don't care what other people think of us. We both like each other and that's all that matters. When we go out to eat we always ask for a booth so we can sit next to each other and hold hands. We're both very affectionate towards each other.


    +1, I think is that 'we' bring these initial repressive cultural norms from our upbringing on how we should behave in public in terms of gay couple behavior or not - but then it is up to us to break these old stereotypes of behavior of what a loving couple should do or not...of course there should be a discussion with your partner on what each of you feel comfortable or not in public and ultimately in a couple of years this will not be an issue.
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    Jan 21, 2016 10:44 PM GMT
    theantijock%20engage%20stalker%20reducti

    HndsmKansan said
    woodfordr saidA surprising number of gay guys are uncomfortable with holding hands in public. I am serious.


    I agree, it's all about what we are used to seeing and societies "norms"... I remember when I came out, even things like referring to my partner as "my boyfriend" seemed kind of odd. Just give it some time and I'd assume it won't seem uncomfortable.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_consciousness
    in his book, The Souls of Black Folk. Du Bois describes double consciousness as follows:
    It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, of measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity. One ever feels his two-ness,—an American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder.

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    Jan 21, 2016 11:15 PM GMT
    There are many reasons why people hold hands in the first place, and the intention of it affects how people respond to it. For example, the only time I am alright with seeing straight couples hold hands, is if it is at night and it is out of protection for the female, or if it is in a park/romantic setting; otherwise I dislike seeing straight people/any people hold hands altogether. Now when it comes to gay couples, we live in a society that encourages men to be strong, fairly unromantic, and independent, so seeing two males holding hands will always be a contradiction. That is why seeing two girls holding hands doesn't really phase anyone as much, as they are conditioned to seek out companionship and to be soft. It is not a homosexual issue, it is a male issue.

    You don't just pass gay marriage and think years and years of psychological conditioning becomes eradicated, it takes time for things to change, and it requires a radical approach to how we condition males, specifically male vulnerability. Mind blowing how if someone is uncomfortable seeing men holding hands they are automatically a bigot, and no one dares tackle the real issue that would actually fix the problem; clearly it's more effective to bitch and complain about other peoples' narrow mindedness when you're just as narrow minded.
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    Jan 21, 2016 11:37 PM GMT
    mx5guynj saidLiberals: When was the last time your Hollywood elitists produced a TV show or movie with gays holding hands?

    Here's the last time I remember:
    tumblr_mrorb3wcfA1r032zxo4_250.gif


    Maybe it's because we, the Hollywood elite, have moved on to fucking.

    But seriously, everyone has you blocked, right? I know why you're a conservative: Social Security and Medicaid are the only things preventing you from inheriting the basement you're currently living in.
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    Jan 21, 2016 11:50 PM GMT
    So what? I'm uncomfortable with muffin tops, saggy pants exposing underwear clad asses, fat bellies flopping over belts, rude behavior, course language, and the like yet I have to endure it every single day. Those uncomfortable with my man and I holding hands or kissing will just have to get over themselves.
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4865

    Jan 22, 2016 12:28 AM GMT
    In some countries, including countries where homosexuality is unacceptable, men can hold hands without attracting any attention. It is not assumed to have sexual overtones.

    From 1994 to 2004 I lived in Fiji. There, if two men share an umbrella, one will put his arm around the other; it is perfectly standard and attracts no attention.
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    Jan 22, 2016 1:51 AM GMT
    When I lived in Germany it was common to see 2 women walking on the sidewalk with their arms together. Or sometimes holding hands. Something I never saw in the US.

    It seemed to be quite normal, never drew any attention, and I took it to be a mutual protection gesture, or maybe expressing friendship. I never inquired, so I don't know.

    I never saw a single male couple do similar. So perhaps there can be a gender component to this issue, as well as a cultural one.
  • badbug

    Posts: 800

    Jan 22, 2016 2:16 AM GMT


    I can be pretty affectionate in public. Most of my friends hated me for it to some degree.

    I haven't had any relationships with men yet, so it will be interesting to see if i change my public sloppiness....i imagine if the guy is hot, not at all. I don't know though.

    I've been known to not care too much what people think. I'll often drink in public or do drugs in public (if there aren't children around) or walk my dog in places that are clearly marked "no dogs allowed" and fight with people who bitch at me about it. I generally don't give a shit what other people think, i mean i do, i do care...but not enough to override what i think.


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    Jan 22, 2016 2:50 AM GMT
    On the news where the mayor of DC was apologizing for now providing services for snow, resulting in commuting problems.

    Well, the video show to two people walking over a snowy street. A woman fell and the other person crossing the street didn't help her.

    She didn't have foot grip, that's why she fell.
    So, the chances that she could get up due to poor feet grip were slim. The man should have helped; and, said, "Now, don't pull me down."

    Yes, people should hold on to each other if they need to.

    Hold me; help me.

    If your inner child needs to hold someone's hand, then do it.
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    Jan 22, 2016 2:51 AM GMT
    StephenOABC saidOn the news where the mayor of DC was apologizing for now providing services for snow, resulting in commuting problems.

    Well, the video show to two people walking over a snowy street. A woman fell and the other person crossing the street didn't help her.

    She didn't have foot grip, that's why she fell.
    So, the chances that she could get up due to poor feet grip were slim. The man should have helped; and, said, "Now, don't pull me down."

    Yes, people should hold on to each other if they need to.

    Hold me; help me.

    If your inner child needs to hold someone's hand, then do it.


    But, what the hell: D.C. is crippled by 1" of snow?

    Oh, they weren't prepared and now need a state of emergency.
  • bro4bro

    Posts: 1037

    Jan 22, 2016 5:26 AM GMT
    To be honest, I'm surprised that so few are uncomfortable with it. Only 29%?

    I'm guessing a lot more gay guys would hold hands in public if they knew more than 70% of str8 people aren't bothered by it!

    I live in a very str8 but very accepting part of L.A. County (our precinct voted 2:1 against Prop 8, the same sex marriage ban). In the 29 years I've been here, I've only seen male couples holding hands in public three times. Two of them were in the past three months.

    If guys don't feel comfortable holding hands at the beach in Southern California, then where?
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    Jan 22, 2016 7:02 AM GMT
    bro4bro saidTo be honest, I'm surprised that so few are uncomfortable with it. Only 29%?

    I'm guessing a lot more gay guys would hold hands in public if they knew more than 70% of str8 people aren't bothered by it!

    I live in a very str8 but very accepting part of L.A. County (our precinct voted 2:1 against Prop 8, the same sex marriage ban). In the 29 years I've been here, I've only seen male couples holding hands in public three times. Two of them were in the past three months.

    If guys don't feel comfortable holding hands at the beach in Southern California, then where?


    We did it on frequent dinner dates out on the Redondo Pier. Unfortunately, we didn't get a reaction. We'd even sit on the same side of the booth for dinner. Nothing damnit!

    I was a little more respectful if there were a bunch of kids around, saving parents from having to explain homoness to the kids.

    And this was 20 - 25 years ago, but another one that was fun because it would freak out the help a bit was El Pollo Inka over on Hawthorne in Torrance. The bus bois were petrified of us.
  • metta

    Posts: 39167

    Jan 22, 2016 7:18 AM GMT
    bro4bro saidTo be honest, I'm surprised that so few are uncomfortable with it. Only 29%?

    I'm guessing a lot more gay guys would hold hands in public if they knew more than 70% of str8 people aren't bothered by it!

    I live in a very str8 but very accepting part of L.A. County (our precinct voted 2:1 against Prop 8, the same sex marriage ban). In the 29 years I've been here, I've only seen male couples holding hands in public three times. Two of them were in the past three months.

    If guys don't feel comfortable holding hands at the beach in Southern California, then where?


    I don't live near the beach and I have seen several gay couples holding hands at the beach, especially in Venice, Santa Monica, and Laguna. I'm surprised that you have not seen it more often.