I feel so conflicted. I get so turned on but embarrassed and humiliated at the same time. How do i deal with those conflicting emotions.
If this is something you and your boyf want to do then you are going to need to find a way of reconciling the emotions otherwise perhaps you're just not cut out for it.
Have you actually done this before or has it only been a fantasy so far? If only a fantasy and you both really want to do it, then try it once and talk about it and see how you feel having done it, on the understanding that if one or both of you is not comfortable with it going forward, then there is no obligation or expectation to continue.
Ultimately it's got to make you both happy and be fulfilling and if at any point it isn't, stop!