Feeling guilty or ashamed for finding

  • Matthew56

    Posts: 394

    Feb 01, 2016 11:42 AM GMT
    A black man once in a while attractive

    As you know already I do not like black men sexually but just once in a moon I would find one attractive and because of that I get consumed by feelings of guilt and ashamed. As to say this is wrong I should not find a black man attractive and would try and maybe rationalise it by trying to suss out whether he has non black admixture to try and alleviate the guilt and justify it rationally

    Any white/non black men who have a strict no black men policy feel the same way?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 01, 2016 11:48 AM GMT
    What I would do in this situation is speak to a mental health professional about why I am so fixated on race in this way to the point it is causing distress and detrimental to my mental well-being.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 01, 2016 12:06 PM GMT
    Well I used to find Black men unattractive in general but that was mostly in the way I am raised. I come from a country where Black people are only seen on television and mostly you see them as thugs/ prisoners/ or this comic caricature with a 'yo-man' accent in Hollywood movies or they were Africans in destitute conditions on my new channels battling HIV or other diseases. Add it to the fact, I am from a country with a history of colonisation where only the whites were the elites with a distinguished social and economic status. As such my view of Blacks in general was pretty negative and filled with awful stereotypes. Things began to change when I started to travel and read Chinua Achebe's " Things Fall Apart" and over the years I have only realised what an ignorant fool I was.

    Now I am firmly in all races are beautiful camp having been exposed to many sexy Black men (Think Idris Elba or that bald guy I used to see in Criminal Minds when I lived in Canada) and seen them abroad in their day-to-day life. Race in sex/dating has become a non factor overtime.

    A lot of it has to do with the way world politics works and how it effects our day to day view of life. Our world history has been primarily written by Western European colonists and interpretation of these events through academia, culture, media and arts have captured our imagination to view ourselves in relation to others.
  • Matthew56

    Posts: 394

    Feb 01, 2016 12:11 PM GMT
    PulseFit saidWhat I would do in this situation is speak to a mental health professional about why I am so fixated on race in this way to the point it is causing distress and detrimental to my mental well-being.


    Well i am fixated because the gay world is heavily fixated on race and the racial hierarchy that man are placed at and their sexual worth is based on
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 01, 2016 12:15 PM GMT
    I don't understand feeling shame for finding a black man attractive. It's like being ashamed of liking one flavor of ice cream.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 01, 2016 2:54 PM GMT
    Matthew56 said
    PulseFit saidWhat I would do in this situation is speak to a mental health professional about why I am so fixated on race in this way to the point it is causing distress and detrimental to my mental well-being.


    Well i am fixated because the gay world is heavily fixated on race and the racial hierarchy that man are placed at and their sexual worth is based on


    No, YOU are fixated on it. Can you not see that your viewpoint is very skewed?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 03, 2016 5:05 PM GMT
    Why should we be feeling guilty for being attracted to a person who has a different skin color than we have ?
    This thread doesn't make any sense to me ..icon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
  • Matthew56

    Posts: 394

    Feb 04, 2016 5:34 AM GMT
    neffa saidWhy should we be feeling guilty for being attracted to a person who has a different skin color than we have ?
    This thread doesn't make any sense to me ..icon_eek.gificon_eek.gif


    Because of the racial hierarchy in the gay world
  • smegnificient

    Posts: 269

    Feb 04, 2016 5:43 AM GMT
    This guy is obviously trolling. Even the title is a bait for us to find out his latest creative way of rephrasing his self-loathing
  • Matthew56

    Posts: 394

    Feb 04, 2016 3:36 PM GMT
    smegnificient saidThis guy is obviously trolling. Even the title is a bait for us to find out his latest creative way of rephrasing his self-loathing



    It's not trolling it's how I feel inside I will never feel as confident as you in the gay world since I am black and made to feel ugly
  • mattrd

    Posts: 10

    Feb 04, 2016 6:00 PM GMT
    There is NOTHING wrong with not finding a certain race attractive. There IS something wrong if you feel ashamed for being attracted to someone of a different race.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 04, 2016 10:36 PM GMT
    You are entitled to your own feelings. There's no need to justify or explain them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 04, 2016 10:58 PM GMT
    Matthew is a freak, he's consumed by race and the "Gay Hierarchy". His posts are always about that. Nothing constructive. Always dividing.

    Rational guilt? That's absurd. See a shrink.