Feeling guilty or ashamed for finding

• Matthew56
  
  Posts: 396
  
  
  Feb 01, 2016 11:42 AM GMT

  A black man once in a while attractive
  
  As you know already I do not like black men sexually but just once in a moon I would find one attractive and because of that I get consumed by feelings of guilt and ashamed. As to say this is wrong I should not find a black man attractive and would try and maybe rationalise it by trying to suss out whether he has non black admixture to try and alleviate the guilt and justify it rationally
  
  Any white/non black men who have a strict no black men policy feel the same way?

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  Feb 01, 2016 11:48 AM GMT

  What I would do in this situation is speak to a mental health professional about why I am so fixated on race in this way to the point it is causing distress and detrimental to my mental well-being.

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  Feb 01, 2016 12:06 PM GMT

  Well I used to find Black men unattractive in general but that was mostly in the way I am raised. I come from a country where Black people are only seen on television and mostly you see them as thugs/ prisoners/ or this comic caricature with a 'yo-man' accent in Hollywood movies or they were Africans in destitute conditions on my new channels battling HIV or other diseases. Add it to the fact, I am from a country with a history of colonisation where only the whites were the elites with a distinguished social and economic status. As such my view of Blacks in general was pretty negative and filled with awful stereotypes. Things began to change when I started to travel and read Chinua Achebe's " Things Fall Apart" and over the years I have only realised what an ignorant fool I was.
  
  Now I am firmly in all races are beautiful camp having been exposed to many sexy Black men (Think Idris Elba or that bald guy I used to see in Criminal Minds when I lived in Canada) and seen them abroad in their day-to-day life. Race in sex/dating has become a non factor overtime.
  
  A lot of it has to do with the way world politics works and how it effects our day to day view of life. Our world history has been primarily written by Western European colonists and interpretation of these events through academia, culture, media and arts have captured our imagination to view ourselves in relation to others.

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• Matthew56
  
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  Feb 01, 2016 12:11 PM GMT

  PulseFit saidWhat I would do in this situation is speak to a mental health professional about why I am so fixated on race in this way to the point it is causing distress and detrimental to my mental well-being.

  
  
  Well i am fixated because the gay world is heavily fixated on race and the racial hierarchy that man are placed at and their sexual worth is based on

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  Feb 01, 2016 12:15 PM GMT

  I don't understand feeling shame for finding a black man attractive. It's like being ashamed of liking one flavor of ice cream.

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  Feb 01, 2016 2:54 PM GMT

  Matthew56 said

  PulseFit saidWhat I would do in this situation is speak to a mental health professional about why I am so fixated on race in this way to the point it is causing distress and detrimental to my mental well-being.

  
  
  Well i am fixated because the gay world is heavily fixated on race and the racial hierarchy that man are placed at and their sexual worth is based on

  
  
  No, YOU are fixated on it. Can you not see that your viewpoint is very skewed?

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  Feb 03, 2016 5:05 PM GMT

  Why should we be feeling guilty for being attracted to a person who has a different skin color than we have ?
  This thread doesn't make any sense to me ..

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• Matthew56
  
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  Feb 04, 2016 5:34 AM GMT

  neffa saidWhy should we be feeling guilty for being attracted to a person who has a different skin color than we have ?
  This thread doesn't make any sense to me ..

  
  
  Because of the racial hierarchy in the gay world

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• smegnificient
  
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  Feb 04, 2016 5:43 AM GMT

  This guy is obviously trolling. Even the title is a bait for us to find out his latest creative way of rephrasing his self-loathing

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• Matthew56
  
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  Feb 04, 2016 3:36 PM GMT

  smegnificient saidThis guy is obviously trolling. Even the title is a bait for us to find out his latest creative way of rephrasing his self-loathing

  
  
  
  It's not trolling it's how I feel inside I will never feel as confident as you in the gay world since I am black and made to feel ugly

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• mattrd
  
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  Feb 04, 2016 6:00 PM GMT

  There is NOTHING wrong with not finding a certain race attractive. There IS something wrong if you feel ashamed for being attracted to someone of a different race.

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  Feb 04, 2016 10:36 PM GMT

  You are entitled to your own feelings. There's no need to justify or explain them.

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  Feb 04, 2016 10:58 PM GMT

  Matthew is a freak, he's consumed by race and the "Gay Hierarchy". His posts are always about that. Nothing constructive. Always dividing.
  
  Rational guilt? That's absurd. See a shrink.

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