Why don't Mennonites have sex standing up?

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    Feb 02, 2016 9:27 PM GMT
    Because that could lead to dancing.
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    Feb 02, 2016 10:34 PM GMT
    How do you keep your Baptist friend from drinking all the beer on the fishing trip?


    Invite two Baptist friends.
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    Feb 02, 2016 10:56 PM GMT
    That one took me a minute. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 02, 2016 11:09 PM GMT
    I only know politically incorrect lawyer and leper jokes.
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    Feb 02, 2016 11:28 PM GMT
    What's a Jewish American Princess' favorite wine (whine).



    I wanna go to Miamiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!! (Spoken in a nasal voice, of course.)
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    Feb 02, 2016 11:40 PM GMT
    A lapsed Catholic decides he wants to become active in the faith again so he decides to begin his journey by going to confession. He gets to the church and enters the confessional and sees there's a big comfortable, cushy chair, a box of the finest cigars, a shelf with the best cognacs and brandy. "Wow," he thinks to himself, "Things have changed a lot!"

    Soon he hears rustling on the other side and a knock so he slides the covering over the small window and sees the priest on the other side. He tells the priest, "Father, I've been a lapsed Catholic and want to confess my sins and rejoin the life of the Church. I must say things have changed a lot while I was gone. I don't remember there being all these high end amenities in confession!" To which the priest replied, "Asshole! You're on the wrong side!"
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    Feb 02, 2016 11:42 PM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal saidI only know politically incorrect lawyer and leper jokes.


    Is there such a thing as a politically incorrect lawyer joke?
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    Feb 03, 2016 12:15 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    Lumpyoatmeal saidI only know politically incorrect lawyer and leper jokes.

    Is there such a thing as a politically incorrect lawyer joke?

    Q. What's the difference between a woman lawyer wearing black and brown and a doberman?

    A. Lipstick
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    Feb 03, 2016 2:30 AM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal said
    UndercoverMan said
    Lumpyoatmeal saidI only know politically incorrect lawyer and leper jokes.

    Is there such a thing as a politically incorrect lawyer joke?

    Q. What's the difference between a woman lawyer wearing black and brown and a doberman?

    A. Lipstick


    Since when Dobermans wear lipstick?icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Feb 03, 2016 2:34 AM GMT
    Q. How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?

    A. None. Don't worry about me, I'll just sit here in the dark.
    (P.s. My own Jewish mother is actually nothing like this...)
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    Feb 03, 2016 2:58 AM GMT
    Q. What did the leper say to the madame as he was leaving the whore house?

    A. Keep the tip.
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    Feb 03, 2016 7:04 AM GMT
    Sung to the tune of Yesterday by the Beatles

    Leprosy,
    I have pieces falling off of me!
    I'm not half the man I used to be.
    Oh! I believe it's leprosy!
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    Feb 03, 2016 7:07 AM GMT
    What's the definition of self-destruction?

    An epileptic leper.