Am I considered self-loathing if I

  • sexy_dad_67

    Posts: 111

    Feb 05, 2016 5:13 AM GMT
    Don't find old guys attractive at all? I've been getting many private messages from old guys on this site accusing me of such, but to me it's just preferences. It's like me choosing men over women, in fact the reasons overlap because older men tend to suffer a decrease in testosterone, hence the loss of body hair and more lower-body mass, unless you practically live at the gym. And my preferences are shaped by the media, so don't blame me. icon_sad.gif
  • badbug

    Posts: 800

    Feb 05, 2016 5:50 AM GMT
    Am I considered self-loathing if I


    Yes. If you literally can't find anyone your age attractive at all, there is something delusional and self hating about you.

    It's certainly not uncommon to prefer younger people, to find them more attractive physically, but you seem to also have a sort of woe is me distress about age as it relates to your own self worth.

    You're either a troll account or just someone with trolling tendancies who also happens to have a very unhealthy self image.

    It's like me choosing men over women

    No it's not. You're being shallow and viewing other people as only objects for physical gratification. Which would be fine if it wasn't causing you distress, but all your posts are about how seeing the world and yourself this way is hurting you. If you are a real person and not a troll, you need to see therapist if you can afford one. You may need to see 2-3 until you find a competent one. There are many bad therapists so don't just give up if you happen to have had bad experiences with them in the past. I had to see atleast 4 or 5 psychiatrists before i found a good one.
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    Feb 05, 2016 6:06 AM GMT
    What is it with all of these lame trolls. Please try harder.
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    Feb 05, 2016 6:11 AM GMT
    Age is a number and it's what you do with it. How well you take care of yourself is the issue.

    I know guys who model in their 50's and look amazing. I also know guys in their 20's and look 50. So see the numbers don't always add up.

    Be your best, chill and forget the age issue. #Ageism

    P.S. I am not a gym bunny. I train
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    Feb 05, 2016 12:20 PM GMT
    Didn't the OP start another thread complaining that his light banter about sex tours in Asia while buying lube in a sex shop failed to work as a pickup line?

    Clearly trolling.
  • tj85016

    Posts: 4123

    Feb 05, 2016 12:56 PM GMT
    lol another idiot victim of the media
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    Feb 05, 2016 3:00 PM GMT
    sexy_dad_67 said
    Am I considered self-loathing if I... Don't find old guys attractive at all? I've been getting many private messages from old guys on this site accusing me of such, but to me it's just preferences. It's like me choosing men over women, in fact the reasons overlap because older men tend to suffer a decrease in testosterone, hence the loss of body hair and more lower-body mass, unless you practically live at the gym. And my preferences are shaped by the media, so don't blame me. icon_sad.gif

    Not necessarily. Depends on your available dating pool, and what you're seeking.

    I take a "top-down" approach with a guy. What's in his head first. Also his eyes, I really look into them. I truly imagine I can see into his soul through his eyes. Then I move down to his heart (not his hard, smart asses), which is really the same as his head, but culturally we romanticize it as heart.

    Older men have substance, character, finesse, experience, proven tract records, and a thousand other things the younger guys are still working on. I prefer to go right to the finished product. Who might appreciate the same thing themselves.

    The rest of him from the head down is negotiable. Perhaps you need to think about your priorities, and your own place in the pecking order of gay society.
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    Feb 05, 2016 4:18 PM GMT
    TexDef07 saidDidn't the OP start another thread complaining that his light banter about sex tours in Asia while buying lube in a sex shop failed to work as a pickup line?

    Clearly trolling.


    Yes
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Feb 05, 2016 5:31 PM GMT
    Am I considered self-loathing if I...

    I would say you're more like a predator, because 1.) you're an internet troll, and 2.) Youth obsession is an indication that you treat people like meat.

    IMO, any young person should stay as far away from older men with your predilections as possible. Otherwise, they're just wasting their youth on someone who's going to chew them up and spit them out when they're 30, and in the end you'll just pass on your self-loathing to them.

    I think the antidote to your self-loathing would be to stop stereotyping men your age as all being undesirable and effeminate, and realize that there are many men over 50 who embody everything that's hot about being a man.

    Maybe if you were to find someone you could connect with who was your age, (a gym partner perhaps?) you'd realize that life is more fulfilling when the people you're into are not just your guileless victims.
  • Fireworkz

    Posts: 606

    Feb 05, 2016 6:36 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidAm I considered self-loathing if I...

    I would say you're more like a predator, because 1.) you're an internet troll, and 2.) Youth obsession is an indication that you treat people like meat.

    IMO, any young person should stay as far away from older men with your predilections as possible. Otherwise, they're just wasting their youth on someone who's going to chew them up and spit them out when they're 30, and in the end you'll just pass on your self-loathing to them.

    I think the antidote to your self-loathing would be to stop stereotyping men your age as all being undesirable and effeminate, and realize that there are many men over 50 who embody everything that's hot about being a man.

    Maybe if you were to find someone you could connect with who was your age, (a gym partner perhaps?) you'd realize that life is more fulfilling when the people you're into are not just your guileless victims.


    Adding to Joe.
    You seem attractive enough in your picture to get a younger guy so I would say there's something off about the vibe that you put out that has young guys not be attracted to you.

    This probably has to do with your obsession about them. If you manage to let go of this obsession I'm sure you'll find you'll attract younger guys anyway. Start to see people as people rather than objects.
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    Feb 05, 2016 10:32 PM GMT
    If you wouldn't fuck yourself, then yes.
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    Feb 05, 2016 11:45 PM GMT
    ^ Oh please. I don't want to come across as defending the OP but younger gays can be just as shallow, self-centered, and users as any older gay man - if not more so. If you've ever spent any appreciable amount of time around young gay guys you soon learn they can treat people like meat and objects worse than any. At their age it can be forgiven but when you're mid thirties and beyond and still using people for your own gratification you're just a toxic immature douche. Unless of course you and your sex partner are aware that you are just using each other to get your rocks off as in a hook up then it's OK. Its all about full disclosure.

    To the OP: To be honest, to be an older guy and attract young guys you need really good looks and or hot body or a lot of disposable income. While you maybe just an internet troll but don't look like a troll, I still have to ask: How's your bank account?

    I have a good friend who isn't the best looking guy in the world - pushing 50, thinning hair, bulbous nose; however, he has the bangingest steroid/GHB body and is never without the company of a sweet young guy in his bed. He knows what he likes and is doing what he needs to do to get it since he doesn't have a large bank account. I just feel sorry for the young guy who's in bed with him when his heart explodes. LOL!

    His most recent boyfriend was barely 17 when they met.

    Gay life can be as shallow as you want it to be.
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    Feb 06, 2016 5:24 AM GMT
    Even if OP is trolling, there is some validity to his post. I see tons of profiles from older guys specifically looking for guys 20+ years younger than them.

    And the funny/sad part is, often times these guys are:
    - Not that great looking.
    - Totally out of shape.
    - Broke as a joke.
    - Way too old.

    So it's very puzzling why they would assume some random 20-something year old twink would eagerly hop into bed with them. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 10, 2016 6:58 PM GMT
    You like what you like. Don't be complaining if young dudes are not into you or after your money. Lol why do i keep thinking about that episode with Dateline Chris Hansen catching a predator. ??icon_razz.gificon_cry.gificon_question.gifroll:

  • Feb 10, 2016 7:31 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidYes, it's self-hating.

    You look like you're looking for reasons to justify how you feel. And you're also trying to play the victim, which doesn't look attractive. "My preferences are shaped by the media, so don't blame me."

    Here's a solution.

    Turn off your television and stop watching porn on seancody.com.

    Now you can't be a victim.


    Oop! Well, there goes my entire response...
  • sexy_dad_67

    Posts: 111

    Feb 12, 2016 2:09 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan said^ Oh please. I don't want to come across as defending the OP but younger gays can be just as shallow, self-centered, and users as any older gay man - if not more so. If you've ever spent any appreciable amount of time around young gay guys you soon learn they can treat people like meat and objects worse than any. At their age it can be forgiven but when you're mid thirties and beyond and still using people for your own gratification you're just a toxic immature douche. Unless of course you and your sex partner are aware that you are just using each other to get your rocks off as in a hook up then it's OK. Its all about full disclosure.

    To the OP: To be honest, to be an older guy and attract young guys you need really good looks and or hot body or a lot of disposable income. While you maybe just an internet troll but don't look like a troll, I still have to ask: How's your bank account?

    I have a good friend who isn't the best looking guy in the world - pushing 50, thinning hair, bulbous nose; however, he has the bangingest steroid/GHB body and is never without the company of a sweet young guy in his bed. He knows what he likes and is doing what he needs to do to get it since he doesn't have a large bank account. I just feel sorry for the young guy who's in bed with him when his heart explodes. LOL!

    His most recent boyfriend was barely 17 when they met.

    Gay life can be as shallow as you want it to be.


    My bank account? I was pretty wealthy up till a few years ago. Had a few very expensive relationships. I really can't help my preferences, and I bet most of you secretly share my preferences to a lesser degree. I really am not self-loathing
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    Feb 12, 2016 5:49 AM GMT
    sexy_dad_67 saidAnd my preferences are shaped by the media, so don't blame me. icon_sad.gif

    Hmm, that must be why I'm gay.   icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 14, 2016 11:18 AM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal said
    sexy_dad_67 saidAnd my preferences are shaped by the media, so don't blame me. icon_sad.gif

    Hmm, that must be why I'm gay.   icon_rolleyes.gif

    and a size queen
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    Feb 14, 2016 7:07 PM GMT
    The real trolls are the idiots whose response to people posting a subject that makes them feel uncomfortable, they just call the OP a troll. I for one would rather see things like this discussed. The real trolls are the simpletons who keep on trying to pile their own emotional response on to others.

    No you are not self-loathing. I don't engage in ageism but nor will I become only interested in men my own age. The concept of 'Being with someone your own age' is full of self loathing and a blind submission to the needs of others to fit you into a convenient box.

    I for one have variety in who I am attracted to and have sex with. I make no excuses for anyone's choices as an adult. You should be aware of power dynamics and your reasons and expectations of relationships between intergenerational partners.

    If you guys, (who appear to have taken this subject as a personal afront), who pored scorn on this guy, have anything to say that doesn't show your own obvious self loathing, please go ahead and post. I myself sometimes get frustrated with guys my age for the following reasons.
    1. Let themselves go, if you make that judgement make sure you haven't as well
    2. Sexually the libidos and types of sex acts their willing to engage and able to get off on can be off putting. ie guys who become only sexually aroused through nipple play brought on by years of rampent sex which has resulted in their ability to be excited by sexual acts of which younger people still find engaging in exciting
    3. Fitness and energy levels
    4. An over focus on wealth and status to the point of their being limited socially in the activities they are will to engage in

    There of course are many faults which can be leveled at young people however unlike the "hes a troll crowd' who all have a history of simplistic responses, I am responding to the OP not a personal emotional reaction
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    Feb 14, 2016 8:02 PM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidThe real trolls are the idiots whose response to people posting a subject that makes them feel uncomfortable, they just call the OP a troll. I for one would rather see things like this discussed.


    He's a troll because this is pretty much all he post. He doesn't go into any real depth and just repeats himself. This is really blatant trolling and so is the seeking younger dude. If you read his post instead of immediately having an emotional reaction you'll see the clear lack of depth that is indicative of his trolling.
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    Feb 14, 2016 8:03 PM GMT
    __morphic__ said
    Lumpyoatmeal said
    sexy_dad_67 saidAnd my preferences are shaped by the media, so don't blame me. icon_sad.gif
    Hmm, that must be why I'm gay.   icon_rolleyes.gif
    and a size queen

    Of course!   icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 14, 2016 8:49 PM GMT
    MrFuscle said
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidThe real trolls are the idiots whose response to people posting a subject that makes them feel uncomfortable, they just call the OP a troll. I for one would rather see things like this discussed.


    He's a troll because this is pretty much all he post. He doesn't go into any real depth and just repeats himself. This is really blatant trolling and so is the seeking younger dude. If you read his post instead of immediately having an emotional reaction you'll see the clear lack of depth that is indicative of his trolling.


    ^ Exactly this on all counts. Not that there's anything wrong with having said emotional reaction or discussing it; this particular sock account hasn't made my own ignore list primarily because he hasn't yet succeeded in stirring up any real ugliness, and people have in fact shown restraint in their responses.

    The RJ crowd has been conducting itself with a great deal of relative maturity lately in terms of not degrading to a massive bitchwar every time a troll trolls. A small part of that is being mindful of the subtle differences between sock trolls (like "sexy_dad" and seekingyounger) and a number of actual people who have dedicated a lot of time over the years to picking fights with other real members on a personal level.

    I think it helps to talk openly and honestly about the realities of the RJ community, gently remind each other when we're being manipulated, and proceeding with dignity and respect in all cases.
  • sexy_dad_67

    Posts: 111

    Feb 16, 2016 4:30 AM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidThe real trolls are the idiots whose response to people posting a subject that makes them feel uncomfortable, they just call the OP a troll. I for one would rather see things like this discussed. The real trolls are the simpletons who keep on trying to pile their own emotional response on to others.


    Thank you icon_smile.gif I don't know what a troll is but it didn't sound nice!

    Edit: I just looked it up, and it doesn't apply to me. I'm sincere about my feelings here; so the haters can feel free to ignore me if they aren't comfortable with a guy being honest. I'm not trying to impress anyone here.