I cheated on my bf 2 years ago

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    Feb 07, 2016 2:01 PM GMT
    I cheated on my partner two years ago (one month after we made it official), on an organized trip to Europe for LGBT folks in their young twenties (booked before we met). When I say cheated, we all got drunk on the trip and someone gave me a blowjob. I felt bad about it and ended up telling my boyfriend about it shortly after we returned home. He decided to stay with me and the topic has barely come up since, and I have been 100% faithful ever since (as has he).

    Last night he got wasted and told two of our close friends that I cheated on him during that trip and gave specifics about how and when it happened. Realize it was my fault for cheating on him in the first place, but have gone out of my way to make amends and thought we were fine with what we had. He also told them we never have sex, which is true as we don't have anal sex, but a very personal decision among the two of us (and he is fine with it continuing that way as am I, without the public disclosures..)

    I am concerned if this news spreads, his friends will think less of me. Although we have only been together for two years, we already bought a condo together and we have even been talking about getting engaged in a few months. Although I think we are fine in general, him disclosing this to our mutual friends to make them feel better about not being in relationships and show that "every relationship is flawed," it really hurt me and it hurt our brand. He regrets saying it but he made me very upset. Part of him wants to relive the party life he had before he met me, and these Saturday trips to the city to get wasted in gay bars with his gay friends where he relives a portion of his former life really make me uncomfortable. He is very faithful but all of the others we meet up with are single and he drinks too much and ends up blurting out our personal business like last night. Does anyone have any thoughts/similar experiences?
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    Feb 07, 2016 3:27 PM GMT
    i think you really hurt your partner way back when and your a fuck up. Now you bitch complain.

    be the man an work it out.

  • badbug

    Posts: 800

    Feb 07, 2016 3:31 PM GMT

    It doesn't really sound like he is fine with never having sex.

    I would be less worried about what other people think and be more concerned your bf gets drunk all the time and complains about your sex life.

  • theonewhoknoc...

    Posts: 700

    Feb 07, 2016 3:41 PM GMT
    it "hurt your brand"?
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 851

    Feb 07, 2016 4:23 PM GMT
    I guess, we all perfectly agree that what is done cannot be undone.

    Now, dwelling on something that took place a while ago, and has been discussed between the two of you already, is not helping the cause either if you wish to put it that way.

    Add to this that your BF tends to go on drinking sprees with his buddies Saturday evenings to relive his past before he met you, only to share very intimate and private details of your relationship with his 'crowd' and you are actually getting a disturbing picture of where your relationship may be going to.

    The time may be very ripe to sit down around the kitchen table and discuss this openly between the two of you.

    You come across people who agree to silently go along with whatever relationship arrangements have evolved over the time, giving the other partner that they are agreement with them.

    The truth is that their temporary comfort of being in a relationship may be more worth to them than the discomfort they are suffering, so they are usually silent but would raise their voice if drunk or challenged.

    This is really not very satisfactory for either one of you. A good, honest talk is needed.

    And, yeah, the drinking sprees with intimate disclosures are fine for the freshmen only. Past that age, a dude has got to learn how to keep his shit together if you'll pardon my French here.