Would you Be annoyed if a couple came up to you at a bar and asked you to move over a seat?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 8:01 AM GMT
    I had this asked a couple days ago. I was at a bar at the Hilton in Wash DC and a guy came and asked me if someone was sitting next to me, which I said no, then proceeded to ask if I could move over to the adjacent seat so him and another guy could sit next to each other.

    Even though most all the seats were full, and I said, "sure", and they both thanked me after, I really didn't like the fact that I was asked...but it wasn't until after examining the two that I was like...Ahhhh, I get it...they're gay. So I asked rather loudly and awkwardly if they were a couple, and threw in a "I figured" because one of them was trying to act straight, whereas his BF seemed kinda fragile. Hell, ask me an awkward question, expect the same in return.

    What annoyed me so much about it...was how he went about it. It was like, "we're important, you're not" For him to ask me to move...and I'm sitting there for like 30 minutes, and they must of mumbled 4 sentences to each other. They were not talking much at all. Both were boring as hell and had no personality. So I had to get up for them and inconvenience myself, and for what? This wasn't a business meeting, this was just him trying to throw weight around and look cute. On top of that, the guy who asked me to move over, gave my seat to his boyfriend to sit down! He couldn't even sit in the seat he asked me to move out of. And if his boyfriend wanted my seat, why couldn't he speak for himself?

    I was really ticked off, and wanted to be sure to return the favor of a dumb ass question. However, the bottom was nice to me, it was the top who was a dick. Matter of fact, I chatted to his partner for about 5 minutes...and he sat there and didn't say a word to me or show any kind of interest in what I was saying. But yet he could come out of goddamn nowhere and asked me to move. I should have went off on him, Had I been drinking, I would have embarrassed him in front of the whole hotel lobby.

    After that...I'm not letting that shit slide again. Next time someone asks me to move so someone else can sit down, they're going to get it good. The response I wanted to give would have been, "HELL NO I'M NOT GETTING UP FOR YOU OR HIM." I actually had that happen last year where an elderly man asked if I could open the door for him. I was sitting down doing something on my iPad and I was no where near the bathroom door. I did it out of courtesy, but later was like...why did he ask me when he had 3-4 people walking behind him?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 8:11 AM GMT
    ...dafuq... icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 8:26 AM GMT
    Da fuck is so hard to understand, Man?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 8:50 AM GMT
    Depends on how they asked. If they were rude I'd be annoyed but I would still move. I they were polite I would move and think nothing of it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 12:05 PM GMT
    It was a reasonable request and if made politely, I would think absolutely nothing about it. Makes no difference what their relationship is or how much they spoke to each other. Amazed anyone would think anything of it. Seems like you have a chip on your shoulder.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 12:22 PM GMT
    Everything in post sounded like you are looking for reasons to be annoyed at others. Good for you I guess.
  • ChicagoSteve

    Posts: 1272

    Feb 15, 2016 1:56 PM GMT
    Really don't understand why either of those scenarios made you angry. You even said the couple thanked you. What's the big deal? And I don't understand your attitude with the elderly man at all. So what if there were people behind him. How hard is it to do something nice, that requires very minimal effort on your part? I frequently am on public transportation here in Chicago. If I am sitting and the bus is full, and I see an elderly person get on, I always offer them my seat.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Feb 15, 2016 2:29 PM GMT
    If asked to do so politely, this sounds like a non-issue to me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 2:40 PM GMT
    rnch saidIf asked to do so politely, this sounds like a non-issue to me.
    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 2:54 PM GMT
    In that scenario, I wouldn't have cared. I do care when I get to the movie theater early to get a good seat and people get there when the movie is starting and ask me to move. I say I got there early to get that seat and I'm not moving. I've been asked to trade seats on a plane (which I paid extra for), so a woman could sit next to her boyfriend. Her seat was way in the back in the middle and she got upset when I told her I paid extra and I'm not moving. I also say something when people try to cut in front of me in line...but if someone politely asks me to move down one seat so they can sit together...I don't mind.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 3:23 PM GMT
    We usually try to anticipate a need, and offer to move down a chair if it will help them before they say anything. If we're the ones looking for 2 adjoining seats, or maybe 3 or 4 with friends along, we never ask, but likewise the other guys will see our dilemma and offer to move themselves voluntarily. I usually find the guys in gay clubs to be very cooperative & friendly.

    But if someone were to order me, I'd be a little less cooperative. Who does this person think I am, a flunky on Donald Trump's staff, and he's The Donald himself? Fortunately that's happened but a few times in my life.

    A variation of this is with parking spaces. And a situation happened just last night, when we went out for our Valentine's dinner. We took an unrestricted space right next to the handicapped, which was already occupied. We asked for an outdoor covered patio table, and could see our car from there.

    A while later the handicapped car pulled out, and my husband asked me if I wanted to move ours over, knowing I sometimes do that, to open up the unrestricted space. Because by now all the parking was full, and the restaurant owner being a friend of ours we didn't want her to lose any business.

    So I went over to our car, and just then another car drove up, obviously looking for an opening. I signaled for them to wait, and I moved ours over. It was 2 young straight couples coming for their own Valentine's dinner, and they were so grateful, because it was raining lightly and we were right at the front entrance, and otherwise they would have had to search for parking gawd knows where. I explained I'd only taken the public space because the handicapped had been occupied, and I was glad they could now have it.

    So yeah, this kinda thing goes on all the time, whether bar stools or parking spaces. Although some gay guys resent losing the empty bar stool next to them to a couple, cause they're out cruising and want that "bait" to attract a single guy to sit next to them. Well, sorry, it's the luck of the draw, we've all been through that.
  • venue35

    Posts: 4644

    Feb 15, 2016 3:28 PM GMT
    it depends on how they asked you. you seem to have an insecurity with people who try to outsmart you.
    I don't see how you came up with such an accurate character profile on these two people in just 20 minutes.
    Anyway if the "top" was a jerk better for you then.
    You don't have to hang out or see them ever again.
    I used to get angry at simple things like that but believe me it's just a waste of time.
    Better to be polite than rude. When you are really polite instead of being bitchy nobody can say anything bad about you .
  • HPgeek934

    Posts: 970

    Feb 15, 2016 3:34 PM GMT
    Is this for real? There is absolutely nothing wrong with their request.
  • mystery905

    Posts: 745

    Feb 15, 2016 3:36 PM GMT
    HPgeek934 saidIs this for real? There is absolutely nothing wrong with their request.


    + 1

    Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 3:44 PM GMT
    venue35 said
    Better to be polite than rude. When you are really polite instead of being bitchy nobody can say anything bad about you.

    Wise advice. Or here, even profitable. I've had guys give me a drink chip (like a plastic poker chip) in gratitude for moving over. Those chips are common among South Florida gay bars during 2-4-1 Happy Hour. You get your first drink immediately, your second is that chip, and anybody can use it during any Happy Hour. I've done the same when somebody moves over for us.

    Or maybe you just strike up an interesting conversation with a stranger that way. I do that all the time. Meet some fascinating guys that way. In fact, we'll be having lunch with several guys in a little over an hour, one of whom I originally met exactly this way. He's now one of our regular companions, at dinners and other activities. You never know what being friendly & outgoing will bring you... icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 3:49 PM GMT
    theantijock%20engage%20stalker%20reducti

    rnch saidIf asked to do so politely, this sounds like a non-issue to me.


    What he said: a non-issue. But since you made it so: this is what we call minutiae. The min is pronounced like the min of miniature. The u is pronounced like the u of manure and the ti is pronounced like the sh of shit. That's why they call it minutiae: it's a little bit of horseshit.

    Two people who enter an establishment of limited seating who ask you to allow them to sit together by your lifting your ass one seat over neither imposes any more upon you than the graciousness of human interaction you might expect for you and your plus one when encountering a similar situation in the natural patterning of social intercourse nor invites you by your magnanimity into their party of two.

    You can either get over it or consider that the next time you might find yourself standing too close to the curb and a car swerves in to broadside you, the guy next to you might not care to move for you either. Hey, I was here first. Splat!
  • daveindenver

    Posts: 314

    Feb 15, 2016 4:58 PM GMT
    Wow. OP sounds like a woman scorned.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 5:15 PM GMT

    Yeah, if you have ever flown on a airline by yourself, this has happened there too. It seems to be a group or couple mentality that these people take the lead in seating arraignments to accommodate each other, however nicely they may ask, sometimes it comes off as rude or pushy.

    This happened to me last time I flew, I was asked by a couple with a baby if I would switch seats with one of them so that they could sit together, I suppose because they 'spotted' me appearing to be single, or maybe I just look like a nice accommodating guy. Before I decided to switch seats, I made sure to check out the seat that were vacating, and it was a better seat than the one I had so I agreed to move, that is the ONLY reason I agreed to move.

    I think the 'feeling' you are picking up has nothing to do with race or gender, more like the 'couples entitlement'. If you had somebody with you yourself, that may not have happened exactly that way. Its because you are single, and they are not. Picture the same scenario if you had your own date with you, would it have turned out the same way? As a single person myself, this is what I would have done. If the question is asked by a couple: Is this seat taken? I would yes, I am waiting for a friend. That way I leave the seat free for another single person that may come along! icon_lol.gif

    Forever single people in our country get a bad rap because the 'christian' religion mentality has human beings pair bonding up, for what ever reasons. (I personally have only fallen in love twice in my life, but am very independent) Our current tax system favors married people and or couples, even more so, with children (tax deductions). So therefore, couples, especially known, 'power couples', get somewhat of an ego boost when they are together, out in public

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 5:27 PM GMT
    Hardly seems worth being annoyed over….
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 5:34 PM GMT
    If I'm alone or in a pair, it doesn't bother me at all to move over in a crowded place to make room for a couple of people standing there, waiting for a place to open up, so they can sit together. I'll sometimes notice this and offer to do so before they even ask. It is just about spreading good will. Not a problem, unless they were rude first, maybe asking me in an ugly tone while I've got a fork full of food or something. But really, if they're nice about it, what's the problem?
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 15, 2016 5:35 PM GMT
    Not really worth writing about unless they didn't respond in a gracious manner. I would have been happy to move over and provided they thanked me, I don't think it anything unusual.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 15, 2016 5:37 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidIf I'm alone or in a pair, it doesn't bother me at all to move over in a crowded place to make room for a couple of people standing there to sit together. I'll sometimes notice this and offer to do so before they even ask. It is just about spreading good will. Not a problem, unless they were rude first, maybe asking me in an ugly tone while I've got a fork full of food or something. But really, if they're nice about it, what's the problem?


    Now I would be happy to move over and sit beside you, Gregg, if there was an empty chair and I was asked by a couple to move over.... haha
    jk.
  • MarvelBoy23

    Posts: 279

    Feb 15, 2016 5:38 PM GMT
    ELNathB said
    Yeah, if you have ever flown on a airline by yourself, this has happened there too. It seems to be a group or couple mentality that these people take the lead in seating arraignments to accommodate each other, however nicely they may ask, sometimes it comes off as rude or pushy.

    This happened to me last time I flew, I was asked by a couple with a baby if I would switch seats with one of them so that they could sit together, I suppose because they 'spotted' me appearing to be single, or maybe I just look like a nice accommodating guy. Before I decided to switch seats, I made sure to check out the seat that were vacating, and it was a better seat than the one I had so I agreed to move, that is the ONLY reason I agreed to move.

    I think the 'feeling' you are picking up has nothing to do with race or gender, more like the 'couples entitlement'. If you had somebody with you yourself, that may not have happened exactly that way. Its because you are single, and they are not. Picture the same scenario if you had your own date with you, would it have turned out the same way? As a single person myself, this is what I would have done. If the question is asked by a couple: Is this seat taken? I would yes, I am waiting for a friend. That way I leave the seat free for another single person that may come along! icon_lol.gif

    Forever single people in our country get a bad rap because the 'christian' religion mentality has human beings pair bonding up, for what ever reasons. (I personally have only fallen in love twice in my life, but am very independent) Our current tax system favors married people and or couples, even more so, with children (tax deductions). So therefore, couples, especially known, 'power couples', get somewhat of an ego boost when they are together, out in public



    How about the old man that pissed him off for asking him to open the door? Is that couples entitlement too?

    People seem to get really fucking bent out of shape for a simple request. Single or coupled, they are still people. this whole thread reads like a hate journal. Kind of sad, really. Trying to justify acting like an asshole doesn't actually justify it!

    Treat people how you want to be treated, and if you want to be treated like shit, treat people how you would want others to treat your mother or father. This bit of entitlement being spoken of goes both ways, and this thread reeks more of entitlement than some poor sap who asked the wrong guy to move over a seat, or open a fucking door.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 5:41 PM GMT
    PhoenixNYC saidIn that scenario, I wouldn't have cared. I do care when I get to the movie theater early to get a good seat and people get there when the movie is starting and ask me to move. I say I got there early to get that seat and I'm not moving. I've been asked to trade seats on a plane (which I paid extra for), so a woman could sit next to her boyfriend. Her seat was way in the back in the middle and she got upset when I told her I paid extra and I'm not moving. I also say something when people try to cut in front of me in line...but if someone politely asks me to move down one seat so they can sit together...I don't mind.




    icon_lol.gif This is why more and more theaters are moving to reserved seating (much like airlines have), this way you don't have to move your theater seat, you pick and pay for your seat before you go in. At first I thought this was weird in a theater, but it makes sense now

    You have 5 people in your party, you reserve 5 seats so you can all sit together

    movie-seats-sold-first.png
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 5:42 PM GMT
    Look at OP's posting history. He truly hates the world.