When do I message him again?

  • TheRealB

    Posts: 16

    Feb 15, 2016 9:44 AM GMT
    Hey guys

    So I went out a night ago to a club and I met this really cool guy. At the end of the night we left the club and ended up talking and getting to know each other and then I ended up going back to his place which I don't ever do. (No we didn't have sex, I didn't let that happen actually and he respected that).

    Anyways, he was really cool and so nice. The next morning, he made me a drink etc we watched TV and he knew I was super tired and offered for me to stay longer (and then felt embarrassed for asking like it was stupid to ask etc). Unfortunately I couldn't but I would have. But he let me have another lay down on his bed before I left.

    Then when it was time to go, he gave me his number and walked me out and said it was great meeting me etc and I said "I hope I get to see you again" and he said "thats up to you" or something.

    So this happened yesterday, and that night (last night) he text me and said "hope you got home ok, was great meeting you and hopefully I'll see you soon!". I replied and said something like "thanks was awesome meeting you too, when you get some time it'd be cool to see you again!"

    So what I want to know is what do I do? I think it'd be really cool to get to know him and go on a date and I think he'd be up for that. I just don't know when I should message him or what to even say? He's busy this week and out of town for a couple of days so I'm not sure if I should message him maybe Friday and see how he's been and if he's busy this weekend etc? I'm 100% new to this, and it's like weird to message him every day like "hey hows your day going" etc, but maybe thats what u do? What would you do or have you done?

    Thanks heaps! icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 10:06 AM GMT
    My advice usually sucks, but I'll just point out a minor technicality:

    "hey hows your day going" -- kind of begs an immediate response. If he's busy or doesn't see it right away, then you've passed the uncertain/awkward buck to him if he's not sure when is too late to respond.

    "hope your week is going well" -- if he's busy and can't respond right away, still a nice thing to say, but doesn't put any pressure on him. Still relevant the next day if he doesn't even see it right away.

    Silly thing to point out, I know, but it's a way to put a tiny bit less pressure on yourself and him. I'd suggest not initiating contact every day, but that's just me. On the other hand, I wouldn't wait until Friday if you're hoping to make plans for next weekend. Ping him at least once, maybe twice, during the week and see how he responds.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 2:21 PM GMT
    You meet someone at a bar. Spend the night and part of the afternoon in his bed and DON'T have sex? It's your decisions what you do with your body when you do it, if you do it and who you do it with. You might be a CT to him.
  • xfitchi88

    Posts: 1

    Feb 15, 2016 4:36 PM GMT
    Personally, I would wait until maybe the day before he gets back or the day he gets back and check in with him. "hey how was the trip" or "welcome back, it'd be awesome to hang out with you again" something like that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 4:38 PM GMT
    Text him when you want to but also try to find out what his cadence is instead of assuming. I have noticed that the guys that I attract are usually more submissive and want me to make most of the moves. So when texting, I will initiate but I wait for a response before sending more texts. At some point I usually just flat out ask the guy about his texting style. There is no right or wrong, you just have to communicate about what your styles are so you can both understand. This approach has cut my anxiety in half.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 15, 2016 4:57 PM GMT
    When he gets back ask him out but be specific about time, place and event .
  • TheRealB

    Posts: 16

    Feb 15, 2016 11:01 PM GMT
    xfitchi88 saidPersonally, I would wait until maybe the day before he gets back or the day he gets back and check in with him. "hey how was the trip" or "welcome back, it'd be awesome to hang out with you again" something like that.


    Okay so he'll be gone tomorrow, I'd say either back Thursday or Friday, so I'll message Friday...haha thanks!

    Maybe I should say "Hey how you been, are you in blah blah atm hows it been?" etc and ask if he's enjoying/enjoyed it and then move onto meeting again icon_biggrin.gif

  • TheRealB

    Posts: 16

    Feb 15, 2016 11:06 PM GMT
    woodfordr saidText him when you want to but also try to find out what his cadence is instead of assuming. I have noticed that the guys that I attract are usually more submissive and want me to make most of the moves. So when texting, I will initiate but I wait for a response before sending more texts. At some point I usually just flat out ask the guy about his texting style. There is no right or wrong, you just have to communicate about what your styles are so you can both understand. This approach has cut my anxiety in half.


    Okay cool thanks a lot that's helpful. He actually said before we went to his place the thing he liked about me was I kinda "chased" after him instead of it being him who chases after someone so maybe he'd like it if I continued to show interest? It's so hard because everyones so different.
  • TheRealB

    Posts: 16

    Feb 15, 2016 11:07 PM GMT
    jimib saidYou meet someone at a bar. Spend the night and part of the afternoon in his bed and DON'T have sex? It's your decisions what you do with your body when you do it, if you do it and who you do it with. You might be a CT to him.


    Haha yeah and he was respectful of that, he messaged me first. What's a CT though?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 16, 2016 1:33 AM GMT
    TheRealB said
    jimib saidYou meet someone at a bar. Spend the night and part of the afternoon in his bed and DON'T have sex? It's your decisions what you do with your body when you do it, if you do it and who you do it with. You might be a CT to him.


    Haha yeah and he was respectful of that, he messaged me first. What's a CT though?


    A CT is a Cock Tease.
  • TheRealB

    Posts: 16

    Feb 16, 2016 1:43 AM GMT
    Oh haha okay
  • TheRealB

    Posts: 16

    Feb 17, 2016 12:14 AM GMT
    Alpha13 saidWhen he gets back ask him out but be specific about time, place and event .


    Okay, I was thinking of starting a little convo like ask how he's been etc on Friday (Assuming he's back by Friday) and then bring up going out sometime?