Male to Male Competitiveness - Is This You?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2016 4:46 PM GMT
    What prompted me to think about this was my mustache, of all things. This most recent incarnation is about 7 months old now. And I get compliments about it from women, even those who hadn't met me before I had it, but almost no comments from men. And I wonder why.

    Is it because men just don't talk about this stuff? Or is that they can't bring themselves to compliment another guy? Assuming my mustache merits compliments, although the ladies, straights & lesbians, seem to think so.

    I'm quick to offer another man compliments. About the shirt he's wearing, his tie, the fit of his jacket, his beard, haircut, anything related to his appearance that I like. Genuine compliments, not contrived, but it's a way I cement friendships, make allies. Whereas most other men seem to want more to be competing, to be bettering the other guy, reluctant to concede a compliment.

    And you?
  • HottJoe

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    Feb 16, 2016 5:15 PM GMT
    I think people like complimenting each other, like exchanging gifts on xmas. However, I'm guessing it's easier for women to compliment gay men, because they don't have to worry about sending mixed signals or someone taking it the wrong way. Gay men tend to question each others motives. For instance, I've given photo comments to guys who respond in a way that I can tell they're obviously reading into it. Bitches need to close their legs to a married man!!icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 16, 2016 5:45 PM GMT
    We still live in a world where men don't feel comfortable complimenting other men. When I lived in South Florida I complimented men all the time. At worst they might think I was flirting but I've met few non thugs down there who were publicly embarrassed by a guy giving them a compliment. In Houston more so than Dallas guys are much more worried about how others will view them receiving a compliment. I've complimented guys and they would quickly look around before saying thanks. I know you live in South Florida but I feel that most guys don't compliment you because they don't want you to think they are coming on to you or embarrass or anger you. I don't think it has much to do with competition. I compliment others so often because when I was younger I saw someone and thought a nice thought about them but kept it to myself. I thought how said that was so vowed to say nice things to people whenever nice things came to my mind. Its kind of why I can compliment a lover ten times a day and seem authentic each time. Of course I've had to adjust to a more conservative culture so I compliment less.
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    Feb 16, 2016 5:49 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidI think people like complimenting each other, like exchanging gifts on xmas. However, I'm guessing it's easier for women to compliment gay men, because they don't have to worry about sending mixed signals or someone taking it the wrong way. Gay men tend to question each others motives. For instance, I've given photo comments to guys who respond in a way that I can tell they're obviously reading into it. Bitches need to close their legs to a married man!!icon_lol.gif


    I word my online compliments carefully. I'll tell a dude he's amazingly handsome or that I love his profile and he deserves the best before I'll say you're hot. Most non model type guys a kind and say thanks. The modeleqsue guys look at my profile but don't reply. I'm assuming they get dozens if not hundreds of compliments a day so compliments don't mean as much to them and are usually an opening for harassment.
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    Feb 16, 2016 9:00 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidI think people like complimenting each other, like exchanging gifts on xmas. However, I'm guessing it's easier for women to compliment gay men, because they don't have to worry about sending mixed signals or someone taking it the wrong way. Gay men tend to question each others motives. For instance, I've given photo comments to guys who respond in a way that I can tell they're obviously reading into it. Bitches need to close their legs to a married man!!icon_lol.gif

    Those are some good observations. Most of the guys with whom I deal are gay.. Maybe that's a factor.
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    Feb 16, 2016 9:07 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidMaybe it's just your own personal experience, Art.

    We can't come to generalizations or conclusions about society based on our own personal experiences. That's a bit simpleminded and I would even go so far as to say it's also self-indulgent.

    Well, that's why I posed this thread mostly as a question. To get the input of others. You make good points.
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    Feb 16, 2016 10:05 PM GMT
    I have no problem complementing men, whether they are gay or straight. a good looking guy is a good looking guy.
  • HottJoe

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    Feb 16, 2016 10:06 PM GMT
    willular saidI have no problem complementing men, whether they are gay or straight. a good looking guy is a good looking guy.

    I'm sure you complement them well.icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 18, 2016 3:24 AM GMT
    HottJoe said
    willular saidI have no problem complementing men, whether they are gay or straight. a good looking guy is a good looking guy.

    I'm sure you complement them well.icon_wink.gif


    Whoops, my bad.
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    Feb 18, 2016 3:31 AM GMT
    It could be as simple as where you live. I have opposite problem here in New Orleans....total strangers walking up to me and stroking my beard without as much as a hello. Then afterwards they'll say something like, "oh you have a great beard" or "I was curious how soft it was." It really pisses me off for someone I don't know to put their filthy hands on me. It's so presumptuous. But people are just very outgoing and friendly here. You might have a very different reaction if you were to visit New Orleans.

  • HottJoe

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    Feb 18, 2016 3:40 AM GMT
    Radd saidIt could be as simple as where you live. I have opposite problem here in New Orleans....total strangers walking up to me and stroking my beard without as much as a hello. Then afterwards they'll say something like, "oh you have a great beard" or "I was curious how soft it was." It really pisses me off for someone I don't know to put their filthy hands on me. It's so presumptuous. But people are just very outgoing and friendly here. You might have a very different reaction if you were to visit New Orleans.


    Are they crazy? That's like petting Cujo.icon_eek.gif