What's the furthest distance you'd maintain a relationship from?

  • jlars12

    Posts: 82

    Feb 17, 2016 12:23 AM GMT
    Basically I hate living in Mississauga because all the guys are 30km away in Toronto haha. Unfortunately my job is here. I've been on-and-off seeing a few guys, but since I have a car, and the Toronto guys are always transit-dependent, it's always me driving over to see them. But boy it gets time consuming. End rant haha.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3525

    Feb 17, 2016 4:25 AM GMT
    population mississauga: 752,000
    try harder.

    Dont date anyone that doesnt use the same transportation as you, lives in their parent's basement, doesnt have the corresponding sexual position requirements as you, or lives farther away than is comfortable. 30min max.
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    Feb 17, 2016 10:07 AM GMT
    jlars12 saidBasically I hate living in Mississauga because all the guys are 30km away in Toronto haha. Unfortunately my job is here. I've been on-and-off seeing a few guys, but since I have a car, and the Toronto guys are always transit-dependent, it's always me driving over to see them. But boy it gets time consuming. End rant haha.


    You live in Mississauga and complain about dating when you are right around Toronto, Etobicoke, Brampton, Oakville. You have no right. I lived in St. Catharines (45 mins away from Hamilton) I should be the one complaining.
  • secondstartot...

    Posts: 1314

    Feb 17, 2016 10:08 AM GMT
    about ..... a meter at the very most
  • secondstartot...

    Posts: 1314

    Feb 17, 2016 10:23 AM GMT
    Justme99 said
    secondstartotheright saidabout ..... a meter at the very most


    so, are you gonna date the OP?

    isn't he hot and spicy?

    he's definitely mucho caliente!

    Id give him a go but most say Im too needy ... like a guy who says " I need space " I answer " Go join NASA !"
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    Feb 17, 2016 8:54 PM GMT
    Dont know anything about Canada, my last serious ex live in San Francisco. I was in socal at the time, eventually I moved to SF for him, we had a good run, almost 3 years but yeah, I'd say about 400 miles and the city the guy's living in, I'd have to consider moving there too. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 17, 2016 11:14 PM GMT
    OMG -- Almost every guy I date lives well over a hundred miles away from Duluth, MN (population approx. 89,000).
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    Feb 18, 2016 2:50 AM GMT
    I had an LDR of 1500 miles for 6 months. And then he proposed to me. On bended knee over dinner, presenting a ring and the whole damn thing. What do you do but accept?

    So yeah, I guess long distance relationships can work. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Grubberboy

    Posts: 70

    Feb 18, 2016 3:27 AM GMT
    The farthest I have dated was a 3 hours drive away. Didn't like it.
  • badbug

    Posts: 800

    Feb 18, 2016 5:38 AM GMT
    I had a girlfriend in Chicago. I live in Vancouver.

    Needless to say it didn't work out but we made a decent showing. Honestly, i think i would prefer a girlfriend or boyfriend that lived far enough away that we couldn't see eachother all the time. lol

    Maybe someone like 100 miles away would be ideal. Not at first of course, at first you want to see each other every moment. But like 6 months in, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!

  • Syphon

    Posts: 366

    Feb 18, 2016 5:54 AM GMT
    jlars12 saidBasically I hate living in Mississauga because all the guys are 30km away in Toronto haha. Unfortunately my job is here. I've been on-and-off seeing a few guys, but since I have a car, and the Toronto guys are always transit-dependent, it's always me driving over to see them. But boy it gets time consuming. End rant haha.


    I've got the same problem in Vancouver. I'm about 15km from downtown and almost nobody in dt will even consider leaving to meet someone. Like really it's 25 minutes on the train... not that hard to do. :/

    I'm more than willing to make the time to date someone that lives across town, but it has to be a shared effort.

    Outside of the city? Definitely not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2016 9:30 AM GMT
    I'm in one right now! He's in the east coast of the US and I'm in the west. But then again, our relationship is not a typical long distance. It's only long distance because of my job which is contracted throughout the States. Sometime this year, I'm planning on going home so we can be together again.

    Now, if the long distance was more permanent, then fuck no! I wouldn't be able to put up with that and I don't expect him to either.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2016 10:38 AM GMT
    Same town or under 20 miles, otherwise, it's something different than what I would want.
  • jlars12

    Posts: 82

    Feb 19, 2016 4:12 AM GMT
    Apparition saidpopulation mississauga: 752,000
    try harder.


    Haha you got me. I'm also picky though. And c'mon... gays gravitate towards the closest downtown core. Mississauga is drained of it's proportional representation of gays due to its proximity to Toronto
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    Feb 19, 2016 5:07 AM GMT
    Let's see . . .

    I'm in So Cal.

    Significant Other No. 1 lives in North Carolina.

    Significant Other No. 2 lived in Jerusalem for a while, and now lives in Virginia.

    Significant Other No. 3 divides his time between NYC and the south of France.

    Answer: Pretty far.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Feb 19, 2016 6:26 AM GMT
    Every dude is different, and every life situation is different, too.

    Rule of the thumb:

    Guys in small towns have fewer choices. Hence, it is up to them to do the traveling bit. If you don't like it, put something on the table that would make the other dude(s) consider traveling to you an attractive option. Say, you have a place to yourself. He doesn't. Throw in a dinner or something...icon_idea.gif

    Long distance is fine if you have a clear plan to get together within a reasonable time. No open ends till all the cows get home.

    SC
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 662

    Feb 19, 2016 11:39 AM GMT
    Physical distance is not desirable for me, but it isn't a deal killer automatically. I am not likely to do well without some proximity because I lose a sense of contact when someone is not physically available for months on end.
  • Wendigo9

    Posts: 426

    Feb 19, 2016 12:03 PM GMT
    ricky1987 said
    jlars12 saidBasically I hate living in Mississauga because all the guys are 30km away in Toronto haha. Unfortunately my job is here. I've been on-and-off seeing a few guys, but since I have a car, and the Toronto guys are always transit-dependent, it's always me driving over to see them. But boy it gets time consuming. End rant haha.


    You live in Mississauga and complain about dating when you are right around Toronto, Etobicoke, Brampton, Oakville. You have no right. I lived in St. Catharines (45 mins away from Hamilton) I should be the one complaining.


    Agreed man, you're still in the gta, so distance for you isn't that bad. I live in St Catharines and my bf lives in Chatham, how we've kept things together for 3 years amazes even me.
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    Feb 21, 2016 6:44 PM GMT
    jlars12 said
    Apparition saidpopulation mississauga: 752,000
    try harder.


    Haha you got me. I'm also picky though. And c'mon... gays gravitate towards the closest downtown core. Mississauga is drained of it's proportional representation of gays due to its proximity to Toronto

    If I had a dime for every time a gay men said this, I would have retired by now.
  • jlars12

    Posts: 82

    Feb 25, 2016 1:32 AM GMT
    Well some people say that but have 10,000 sexual partners, while I've only had 4 lol
  • Fireworkz

    Posts: 606

    Feb 28, 2016 3:09 PM GMT
    I wouldn't date an astronaut.
  • mcbrion

    Posts: 305

    Mar 17, 2016 11:17 PM GMT
    jlars12 saidBasically I hate living in Mississauga because all the guys are 30km away in Toronto haha. Unfortunately my job is here. I've been on-and-off seeing a few guys, but since I have a car, and the Toronto guys are always transit-dependent, it's always me driving over to see them. But boy it gets time consuming. End rant haha.



    If that's the farthest you have to contend with - and not saying it's not a pain in the butt - you're fortunate. When I lived in San Francisco, I'd meet guys from LA (350 miles) and that was one of the shorter distances. I'd also meet a guy who lived 2 miles away, but thinking that proximity=a better chance of finding love? That's the part that's a myth. I've dated guys who lived in Australia, the UK, Canada, Boston, New Haven, to name a few. That was after my lover died (and before I met him).
    The reason things don't work out, from my observations, have not as much to do with distance (but it DOES count) as it had to do with maturity of the two people involved (or lack of it), and that, my friend, as you will find, is what makes or breaks any relationship. Also it helps to be able to determine if someone IS mature or not, and that doesn't mean having a job and paying one's bills, or Donald Trump would be considered mature. If a person is not himself mature, he certainly won't recognize it in others, and then he blames everyone else for the failure of the dating process to mature into a real relationship (not that you're doing this. Just clarifying).
  • mybud

    Posts: 11836

    Mar 18, 2016 8:48 AM GMT
    secondstartotheright said
    Justme99 said
    secondstartotheright saidabout ..... a meter at the very most


    so, are you gonna date the OP?

    isn't he hot and spicy?

    he's definitely mucho caliente!

    Id give him a go but most say Im too needy ... like a guy who says " I need space " I answer " Go join NASA !"
    I laughed my ass off at this quote...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2016 9:53 AM GMT
    mcbrion said
    The reason things don't work out, from my observations, have not as much to do with distance (but it DOES count) as it had to do with maturity of the two people involved (or lack of it), and that, my friend, as you will find, is what makes or breaks any relationship.


    I fucking agree with that shit. I had delved into my first long distance relationship in a LONG time last year (and that's the last time I did it until recently) who lived in LA. I lived in Denver at the time. We had a great week together in LA and then stayed in contact for two months and met again. But it didn't work out because #1 he had a kid and ex wife,and an ex boyfriend from 5 years. Too much baggage! And he blamed me when we got into disagreements.

    Right now I'm not In LDR, but I met a guy locally who was visiting family and I think I fell in love but he lives 2,200 miles away. He knows how I feel about him and I think he's open to it, but we're discussing it. the way I see it...I lived in Denver for 5 years and dated my DICK off, and still came up empty handed and single when I left. I've had far better dating experiences with guys who lived in Minneapolis and California and Orlando. So, if you meet someone elsewhere...distance shouldn't be a factor if you're open minded to where they live.

    I think it can work if you meet in person first before it becomes long distance. i don't find it works as well if you just plan for 6 months to meet a guy from Grindr who lives 1,000 miles away for the first time.
  • mcbrion

    Posts: 305

    Mar 20, 2016 4:12 PM GMT
    OR, you meet them before you create an entire fantasy in your head about the relationship and what the sex will be like. That's particularly critical, because when guys do that sex-will-be-phenomenal-with-him thing in their head, and then encounter reality and it's not as immediately explosive as they fantasized, they're completely thrown by it and don't know hot to readjust to the actual reality.