Any former bottoms?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 21, 2016 5:56 AM GMT
    I'm a bottom who would like to be more versatile. I'm not sure if I'm not meant to be verse or if I've masturbated too aggressively for too long and have made my dick too insensitive. I've pretty much been a bottom since I came out. I've never fucked a female. As a kid a discovered masturbation by humping my boxers until I came. When a friend taught me to masturbate using my hand I never went back. Part of me believes that only masturbating has desensitized my dick. Add in the fact that I've always been a bottom and I think I also suffer from performance anxiety as a top. I say this because a year ago I was fuxking this really hot dude. The kind if guy I would dream of. I actually became flaccid while inside of him. He was very vanilla and only cared about getting fucked which is a huge turn off for me. It was still disconcerting actually going sift while fucking a hot dude.

    Are their any bottoms who successfully transitioned into being more verse?
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    Feb 21, 2016 6:21 AM GMT
    Well I can be top sometimes "out of respect" but usually I prefer being the bottom.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 875

    Feb 21, 2016 3:43 PM GMT
    I started being a top and never looked backicon_biggrin.gif, so I cannot give you anything from the horse's mouth.

    But I have known several bottom guys who added quite some versatility to their program over the years.

    Once you establish a pattern of behavior it may take both time and effort to change it.

    One of the guys I knew, used to be a guy with a smaller body frame and smaller endowment, too. He 'naturally' got adjusted/used to being a bottom, and I doubt that anyone really expected him to topicon_idea.gif.

    Well, he was a late bloomer, but he sure developed nicely towards the end of his 20's. He says that he has started topping smaller, somewhat younger guys and felt good about it. He started enjoying being truly versatile and now says that he sees himself mostly as a top for younger guys.

    Another dude told me that he had always enjoyed bottoming. Most guys thought that he was a top due to his body frame, size of his equipment and general demeanor. So, he started topping occasionally, mostly not to let the guys he thought were 'keepers' down. He said, he did not really care for it in the beginning but accepted the fact that it was worth trying. He also says that he thinks that we are all creatures of habit. He has gotten used to it, and says that he is now topping at the drop of the hat. He has matured, got some self-confidence, and insists that both of those helped a lot.

    So, yeah, a few guys did it...icon_biggrin.gif

    SC



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2016 12:34 AM GMT
    ricky1987 saidWell I can be top sometimes "out of respect" but usually I prefer being the bottom.


    Lol reminds me of a top who said he would play with a bottoms dick sometimes in order to be a good neighbor.
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    Feb 22, 2016 12:38 AM GMT
    MrFuscle said
    ricky1987 saidWell I can be top sometimes "out of respect" but usually I prefer being the bottom.


    Lol reminds me of a top who said he would play with a bottoms dick sometimes in order to be a good neighbor.


    Well good neighbours can at times be overbearing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2016 12:59 AM GMT
    SilverRRCloud saidI started being a top and never looked backicon_biggrin.gif, so I cannot give you anything from the horse's mouth.

    But I have known several bottom guys who added quite some versatility to their program over the years.

    Once you establish a pattern of behavior it may take both time and effort to change it.

    One of the guys I knew, used to be a guy with a smaller body frame and smaller endowment, too. He 'naturally' got adjusted/used to being a bottom, and I doubt that anyone really expected him to topicon_idea.gif.

    Well, he was a late bloomer, but he sure developed nicely towards the end of his 20's. He says that he has started topping smaller, somewhat younger guys and felt good about it. He started enjoying being truly versatile and now says that he sees himself mostly as a top for younger guys.

    Another dude told me that he had always enjoyed bottoming. Most guys thought that he was a top due to his body frame, size of his equipment and general demeanor. So, he started topping occasionally, mostly not to let the guys he thought were 'keepers' down. He said, he did not really care for it in the beginning but accepted the fact that it was worth trying. He also says that he thinks that we are all creatures of habit. He has gotten used to it, and says that he is now topping at the drop of the hat. He has matured, got some self-confidence, and insists that both of those helped a lot.

    So, yeah, a few guys did it...icon_biggrin.gif

    SC





    I think habit is the largest part. It's a habit that goes back nearly half of my life lol. When I was younger I looked more feminine so guys always assumed I was the bottom. It doesn't help that gay men shame fem bottoms and any dude who's topped by a less masculine dude. As I've gotten older more guys see me and hope to get fucked. Of course now I've gotten very use to bottoming and have no confidence in my ability to top.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2016 1:00 AM GMT
    ricky1987 said
    MrFuscle said
    ricky1987 saidWell I can be top sometimes "out of respect" but usually I prefer being the bottom.


    Lol reminds me of a top who said he would play with a bottoms dick sometimes in order to be a good neighbor.


    Well good neighbours can at times be overbearing.


    Its better than a bad neighbor who only thinks of his own pleasure which many tops are
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2016 4:58 PM GMT
    Your years as a bottom should make you a great top - seriously. Any guys who only ever top, never bottom - in the vast majority of cases, are not as good at topping as they think they are!

    Think about what you love as a bottom and transfer it to how you top, you'll do fine. It does seem that Americans are more hung up on absolute ends of the spectrum for some reason - versatility is a good thing!
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Feb 22, 2016 5:23 PM GMT
    You probably can develop your topping skills but my guess is most guys are pretty hardwired to mostly one or the other. I don't think it is your hand-- that would keep you from coming but not staying hard. Pretty simple test: What position do you fantasize about when you masturbate? Truly vers and flip-fuck guys are out there but I've never encountered one that was much more than 90/10 one way or another. More often it is top or bottom with a given partner. But yes, I was an exclusive bottom when dating guys my age and for some reason shifted to a top with my partner and that has been going strong for almost nine years now. Besides, what's wrong with being a bottom guy?
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 875

    Feb 22, 2016 6:32 PM GMT
    PulseFit saidYour years as a bottom should make you a great top - seriously. Any guys who only ever top, never bottom - in the vast majority of cases, are not as good at topping as they think they are!

    Think about what you love as a bottom and transfer it to how you top, you'll do fine. It does seem that Americans are more hung up on absolute ends of the spectrum for some reason - versatility is a good thing!



    I doubt that there is any absolutely proven way of establishing that someone is a good top (or not). Mostly because different bottom guys have different preferences and expectations. A stellar top for a bottom who likes it fast and furious may be a total flop for a dude who likes it very slow and easy.

    A dominant top may be an ideal match for a sub bottom who mostly derives his pleasure by giving his top what the top wants, the way the top likes it. A non-sub bottom who sees it all or mostly about his top being here to pleasure him, the bottom, is very likely to rate the dom top here as a failure.

    The list rolls on and on...

    If a number of bottom dudes want to meet you a over and over for sex again, you are probably doing it right for them. Most people are not too keen on repeating a lousy sex experience.

    Every bottom knows what works best for him personally. No doubt about it. Yet assuming that every bottom you come across likes it that way is somewhat naive.

    SC

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2016 3:23 PM GMT
    SilverRRCloud said
    Every bottom knows what works best for him personally. No doubt about it. Yet assuming that every bottom you come across likes it that way is somewhat naive.


    I didn't say anything about technique, specifically because a great top would know the importance of adapting and varying their style to maximise the experience for both parties. That is something that you do get a feel for if you bottom once in a while as well as topping a variety of bottoms, because you get a fuller range of experience. Which is always a good thing.