Switching from bottoming more to topping more

  • Goodluckyman

    Posts: 104

    Feb 23, 2016 5:15 PM GMT
    Hi Guys!

    I am relatively new in the game. I have been bottoming more.

    My heart wants to bottom but my ass doesn't take it kindly. I never quite enjoy it (physically) as much as I should.

    Fortunately, I got a good dick that I feel I am wasting bottoming lol.

    I want to learn to top-keeping the energy and the erection to top well. After a few episodes of bottoming, now I can get rock hard but when I try to insert my dick, it gets weaker...when I leave the idea it gets very strong again and weaker when I am in the process of inserting. It is a little frustrating. I am not sure if it is psychological...

    Anyone has ideas or experiences to share with me that can help me?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2016 5:38 PM GMT
    tops don't have to learn how to keep their dicks hard. it's actually supposed to get harder after insertion. you're psychologically a bottom. accept it. you'll be wasting some hungry bottom's time (and she will talk about you).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2016 5:57 PM GMT
    I've read erectile dysfunction is very common in poz guys, so your situation is probably much different. OP clearly stated he has no problem getting "rock hard" while bottoming. He only loses the magic when it's time to top.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2016 6:14 PM GMT
    Oh wow, I bet it's awful now. OP is describing a completely diff situation though. Seems like you have some antisocial behaviors, which I totally picked up on before this exchange.

    You shouldn't have to psych yourself up to top. If you're intimidated while climbing someone's back, they will know it. Aside from being awkward for you, you will have wasted someone else's time.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Feb 23, 2016 6:34 PM GMT
    Goodluckyman saidHi Guys!

    I am relatively new in the game. I have been bottoming more.

    My heart wants to bottom but my ass doesn't take it kindly. I never quite enjoy it (physically) as much as I should.

    Fortunately, I got a good dick that I feel I am wasting bottoming lol.

    I want to learn to top-keeping the energy and the erection to top well. After a few episodes of bottoming, now I can get rock hard but when I try to insert my dick, it gets weaker...when I leave the idea it gets very strong again and weaker when I am in the process of inserting. It is a little frustrating. I am not sure if it is psychological...

    Anyone has ideas or experiences to share with me that can help me?


    You have probably answered your own question when you are wondering if it is psychological. It may very well be.

    If you really feel like bottoming but do not technically enjoy it due to the pain and discomfort, your next best option is try and top. This is your second (best) choice, and it shows, doesn't it? Because this is not what you would really like to be doing it is not really working the way it is supposed to be working.

    Bottoms who are occasionally topping are at times saying that they are simply envious of the pleasure the bottom receives. For some guys this is an erection damper or even an erection killer. We all want the best for ourselves. Feeling that the other dude is getting the better end of the deal (no pun intended), is certainly a downer.

    Now, add some performance anxiety probably caused by the previous experience, and it becomes clear that repeating the same thing over and over again is most likely going to produce the same, unsatisfactory results.

    One way out of this is to understand that good bottoming involves a lot of technique for some guys, and comes almost naturally to the others.icon_biggrin.gif. If bottoming is what you really want to do, you may have to work on it to get where you want to be comfort and experience wise.

    The other way out may be to start reinventing yourself into a more of a top guy frame of mind. Self-suggestion is certainly not a universal panacea but it is a very powerful tool. If you start projecting yourself in a role of a top in your mind, and attitude, you may be giving yourself a good chance to overcome.

    SC
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    Feb 23, 2016 6:38 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidNot awful at all. Not according to my boyfriend who used to be a top and now is versatile (with me) because he can't resist my cock. icon_cool.gif


    I can totally see you repeating this to yourself in the mirror every morning.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2016 7:21 PM GMT
    Oh yes, I'm super jealous. If only I could be lucky enough to acquire social anxiety, a compromised immune system and a bunch of noodle dick issues!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2016 7:22 PM GMT
    I really want to buy a fleshlight but I don't know where would I get it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2016 7:42 PM GMT
    The antisocial queen who has repeatedly stated she prefers her hand above all else is now dishing out sex advice?

    gXAWovR.jpg

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2016 8:33 PM GMT
    Your little love affair with your hand is right in here. But I do have a rather sharp memory. No viruses or ARVs deteriorating my brain. I have a Luminosity account too; have you tried it? Excellent site. Highly recommend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2016 8:38 PM GMT
    ricky1987 saidI really want to buy a fleshlight but I don't know where would I get it.

    Go to fleshjack.com or fleshlight.com and see if they ship to you.
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    Feb 23, 2016 8:41 PM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal said
    ricky1987 saidI really want to buy a fleshlight but I don't know where would I get it.

    Go to fleshjack.com or fleshlight.com and see if they ship to you.

    Also look at http://www.imbesharam.com. I did a google search for "fleshlight ship to india" and they came up in the results.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2016 8:50 PM GMT
    I have a problem with the argument that if you're a bottom that that's just the way things are and that's that.

    For one thing the bottoms are always complaining that everyone is a bottom or that there are too many bottoms. Another is that lots of guys complain about how hard it is to find a boyfriend and I suspect that a lot of their failures, so to speak, were because both were bottoms.

    Back before I went celibate I was versatile but even with the gazillion guys I had sex with I can probably count the number of times I bottomed on one hand.

    Bottoms need to be exploring ways to be versatiles.
  • Goodluckyman

    Posts: 104

    Feb 24, 2016 6:50 AM GMT
    SilverRRCloud said
    Goodluckyman saidHi Guys!

    I am relatively new in the game. I have been bottoming more.

    My heart wants to bottom but my ass doesn't take it kindly. I never quite enjoy it (physically) as much as I should.

    Fortunately, I got a good dick that I feel I am wasting bottoming lol.

    I want to learn to top-keeping the energy and the erection to top well. After a few episodes of bottoming, now I can get rock hard but when I try to insert my dick, it gets weaker...when I leave the idea it gets very strong again and weaker when I am in the process of inserting. It is a little frustrating. I am not sure if it is psychological...

    Anyone has ideas or experiences to share with me that can help me?


    You have probably answered your own question when you are wondering if it is psychological. It may very well be.

    If you really feel like bottoming but do not technically enjoy it due to the pain and discomfort, your next best option is try and top. This is your second (best) choice, and it shows, doesn't it? Because this is not what you would really like to be doing it is not really working the way it is supposed to be working.

    Bottoms who are occasionally topping are at times saying that they are simply envious of the pleasure the bottom receives. For some guys this is an erection damper or even an erection killer. We all want the best for ourselves. Feeling that the other dude is getting the better end of the deal (no pun intended), is certainly a downer.

    Now, add some performance anxiety probably caused by the previous experience, and it becomes clear that repeating the same thing over and over again is most likely going to produce the same, unsatisfactory results.

    One way out of this is to understand that good bottoming involves a lot of technique for some guys, and comes almost naturally to the others.icon_biggrin.gif. If bottoming is what you really want to do, you may have to work on it to get where you want to be comfort and experience wise.

    The other way out may be to start reinventing yourself into a more of a top guy frame of mind. Self-suggestion is certainly not a universal panacea but it is a very powerful tool. If you start projecting yourself in a role of a top in your mind, and attitude, you may be giving yourself a good chance to overcome.

    SC



    Thanks All,

    SC, you got exactly what I am trying to convey and I like that idea of "try and top"....there are many options in this life.

    I think I need to refocus my energy into topping and perhaps find a bottom who can be patient with me in the process. I dont think it is a case of erectile dysfunction because I get hard quite well until when I try to enter the ass. In fact my frustration is a hard ass that goes flaccid when it touches the ass yet gets hard immediately it is out of contact....the bottom would not understand.

    I know I will make it.

    When I watch porn movies and see how much bottoms enjoy, I always thought I would enjoy as much but it never happens and it is not worth the effort and time.

    Of all my not-so-many encounters so far, I have only enjoyed bottoming once and it was because the guy was such an "expert" and very patient. We hadn't planned to fuck but the kind of activities/preparation we had just made me beg for him to fuck me and he never disappointed....painless sweet fucking like I had imagined. Not too many people have such patience and talent lol.

    Again thank you guys,

    SC, I like your balanced and neutral pieces of advice.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Feb 24, 2016 7:57 AM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal saidI have a problem with the argument that if you're a bottom that that's just the way things are and that's that.

    For one thing the bottoms are always complaining that everyone is a bottom or that there are too many bottoms. Another is that lots of guys complain about how hard it is to find a boyfriend and I suspect that a lot of their failures, so to speak, were because both were bottoms.

    Back before I went celibate I was versatile but even with the gazillion guys I had sex with I can probably count the number of times I bottomed on one hand.

    Bottoms need to be exploring ways to be versatiles.


    Yup. We live in the culture of comment & complaint. Complaining makes a lot of people feel good about themselves.

    First off, they have figured out what THE problem is which goes on to say that they most likely see themselves as pretty smarticon_idea.gif.

    Second off, they are sharing their discovery with the rest of the world subtly indicating that we all deserve to live in this better world. Can't blame anyone for being generous towards his fellow human beings, can you?

    Now, it takes some life experience to understand that complaining about something does not mean that the complainer himself is willing (or even contemplating) to take any action and remedy the situation he is complaining about. Sure, one thing or the other is not so good, and I am not happy about it, but that does not mean that I should try and do anything about it. The others should fix that while I am enjoying myself in my own comfort zone.icon_biggrin.gif

    The same applies to the notion of support. It is one thing to give verbal support to a cause. And quite another thing to put your money where your mouth is... This is where the silent majority usually packs up and goes home...

    Later on, we like to say, 'it was a nice thought' wasn't it?

    These are my reasons for continuing to believe that not much will change when it comes to bemoaning the fact that there are far too many bottoms and far too few topsicon_smile.gif.

    Now, there are determined, smart and courageous guys out there who will try and err,and keep on going at it, till they get it right. Topping is after all, NOT a rocket science...

    The rest will continue to complain as they have been doing for a very long time now.

    SC
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 24, 2016 10:13 AM GMT
    If you're struggling to maintain a rock hard erection when topping, have you tried using a cock ring? Should do a lot of the work for you and take some of the performance anxiety out of it, as it will keep you hard.

    It can also help to delay ejaculation so you can pound that ass for longer icon_twisted.gif
  • Goodluckyman

    Posts: 104

    Feb 24, 2016 10:44 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]SilverRRCloud said[/cite]
    Lumpyoatmeal saidI have a problem with the argument that if you're a bottom that that's just the way things are and that's that.

    For one thing the bottoms are always complaining that everyone is a bottom or that there are too many bottoms. Another is that lots of guys complain about how hard it is to find a boyfriend and I suspect that a lot of their failures, so to speak, were because both were bottoms.

    Back before I went celibate I was versatile but even with the gazillion guys I had sex with I can probably count the number of times I bottomed on one hand.

    Bottoms need to be exploring ways to be versatiles.


    Yup. We live in the culture of comment & complaint. Complaining makes a lot of people feel good about themselves.

    First off, they have figured out what THE problem is which goes on to say that they most likely see themselves as pretty smarticon_idea.gif.

    Second off, they are sharing their discovery with the rest of the world subtly indicating that we all deserve to live in this better world. Can't blame anyone for being generous towards his fellow human beings, can you?

    Now, it takes some life experience to understand that complaining about something does not mean that the complainer himself is willing (or even contemplating) to take any action and remedy the situation he is complaining about. Sure, one thing or the other is not so good, and I am not happy about it, but that does not mean that I should try and do anything about it. The others should fix that while I am enjoying myself in my own comfort zone.icon_biggrin.gif

    The same applies to the notion of support. It is one thing to give verbal support to a cause. And quite another thing to put your money where your mouth is... This is where the silent majority usually packs up and goes home...

    Later on, we like to say, 'it was a nice thought' wasn't it?

    These are my reasons for continuing to believe that not much will change when it comes to bemoaning the fact that there are far too many bottoms and far too few topsicon_smile.gif.

    Now, there are determined, smart and courageous guys out there who will try and err,and keep on going at it, till they get it right. Topping is after all, NOT a rocket science...

    The rest will continue to complain as they have been doing for a very long time now.

    SC



    Thanks so much SC.

    There are people out there who will go for what they want and get them instead of complaining and taking no action.

    I will try till I find what is good for me.

    I sent you short messages but I guess they are not coming through.

    I moved to a country where RJ doesn't work (not sure why) so I only access it when I travel out of the country.

    I appreciate the advice.
  • Goodluckyman

    Posts: 104

    Feb 24, 2016 10:47 AM GMT
    PulseFit saidIf you're struggling to maintain a rock hard erection when topping, have you tried using a cock ring? Should do a lot of the work for you and take some of the performance anxiety out of it, as it will keep you hard.

    It can also help to delay ejaculation so you can pound that ass for longer icon_twisted.gif


    Thanks,

    It is not a case of erection. It is something else, my erection is super good/hard.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 24, 2016 11:39 AM GMT
    Goodluckyman said
    It is not a case of erection. It is something else, my erection is super good/hard.


    OK, I'm confused then because you said:

    Goodluckyman saidAfter a few episodes of bottoming, now I can get rock hard but when I try to insert my dick, it gets weaker...when I leave the idea it gets very strong again and weaker when I am in the process of inserting.


    Which you've now just contradicted. So which is it? Either you are having problems with maintaining a hard dick or you're not, if you're not, then what is the problem? If you just don't enjoy it as much as bottoming, but you can't bottom for whatever reason, then that might just be tough luck. Try putting a buttplug in your ass when you fuck?