How would you react if your hookup guy started talking about his previous partner'sssssss dick size? Why do some guys think it's ok to be having those discussions?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 24, 2016 10:30 PM GMT
    Ok hopefully I can talk about real life shit without getting death threats like the last post. Let's be civilized for 5 minutes, please. I would post this in sex forum, but I feel this is rather general to all gays.

    But this is something I just don't get. Especially when it comes to White guys. No shade, but SOME (not all, But MANY) of the ones who go after black really seem to go out their way to impress us with stories of how many and how big dicks they've seen. Which I don't get because I haven't even seen who the guys are, they could have a 12" dick and look like a monster. But white guys don't care. They'll take anything with a bit of length and girth. It can just be a toy penis with the face of a porn star on the package, they'll be all over it.

    I knew he was a slut when he asked me to do a 3 way with him and a couple pictures of guys in the area he hooked up with....AFTER THE FIRST TIME WE HOOKED UP. I was like whatever, I ain't trying to get serious with the guy since I was getting ready to move. The second time, there was no 3 som involved though.

    But this 3rd time I met him...after we fucked, we're laying in bed and the mother fucker starts telling me about how he went to Atlanta to some sex club and seen the biggest 13" dick of his life that was like crazy thick, then he started talking about his exes dicks that were like 10", then talking about other mother fuckers he hooked up with there, etc. etc.

    I stopped him and said, what am I supposed to be getting out of this conversation? He was like, nothing it's just conversation. I said, exactly...so why are we talking about it then? If your ex from years ago was all that, why ain't you still with him? Then he started giving me some lame excuses, which all measured up to they were just fucking. I finally told him, change the subject. Hell, even prostitutes don't sit around discussing their latest client on a hookup date. I'm thinking we were going to just relax and talk general stuff, he couldn't describe any other attribute about these guys other than their dicks.

    I'm just wondering, why do guys do that shit? Other than being an egocentric sex addict, is it a subliminal, psychological ploy to get leverage over the other person to try and make them feel insecure by pointing out there's guys who have bigger dicks than the partner? Because as much as this guy talked about big dicks, he had a fucking small ass dick...and being a bottom so seems he was trying to make up for something.

    Now other than the dick discussions, he did say something else to me that put me right off that night, and I let him have it the next morning. Going to invite me to spend a night at a house that he couldn't even have guest over, and had me sneaking in, and he didn't even tell me that was the situation before I drove all the way out there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 24, 2016 10:50 PM GMT
    The other way I see it is, if a girl were to talk to her man about all the big dicks she's taken and seen, he'd be like,"get the fuck out of here you filthy harlot"

    But for gay men, they think it's cute and funny and "conversation". Miss me with that shit.., I just don't know why some gay men think that's harmless discussion.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 871

    Feb 24, 2016 11:37 PM GMT
    On one level, your hookup may be an extreme size queen who only goes after the size. The size rules his world, possibly because he happens to be a smaller dude in the size department. I cannot think of a gay dude who has not met a few such dudes over the years. It simply comes with the territory.

    On some other level, he is obviously NOT looking for a monogamous BF. He may be looking for a friend to tag along with him in his exploration trips to find an even bigger specimen for his collection/score board.

    A few gay guys feel that sharing their sexual conquests with other men enhances their respective positions in the pecking order. Some are so blinded that they even believe that everyone out there must be looking for a supersized guy to bottom for, so sharing such great stories must be of consuming interest for everybody, rite?

    A few bottoms out there are sexually happy to bottom but are not comfortable with their position in that constellation. They feel that the top is getting the better end of the deal, and are doing their best to pull him down a peg or two, so that they could feel a bit better about themselves.

    Every hookup is always compromise of some kind. A dude goes for whoever appears the most attractive AND willing guy available. In a different constellation, this dude would have gone for a different guy. Yet, actions speak for louder than words. He agreed to hook up with you. Judging by his talk, he would have rather hooked up with that elusive 13" dude but since there was none available he compromised. His bad.

    Block such talk, drop the dude and all of his mental baggage and look for someone who is wise enough to appreciate who he has got now.

    SC
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 24, 2016 11:55 PM GMT
    Talljock28 saidOk hopefully I can talk about real life shit without getting death threats like the last post.

    tumblr_m6fu7f0oe31rwcc6bo1_500.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 25, 2016 12:39 AM GMT
    its a hook up
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 25, 2016 5:20 AM GMT
    pellaz saidits a hook up


    Exactly, if a dude starts telling you about the other dudes he's been with its a sign he's not into you at all. Since its a just a hook up that's preferable. Lol I actually discussed dicks with a dude I've hooked up with the other day. It sounds like the OP is upset that he's not the only guy on the dudes mind.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 25, 2016 5:26 AM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal said
    Talljock28 saidOk hopefully I can talk about real life shit without getting death threats like the last post.

    tumblr_m6fu7f0oe31rwcc6bo1_500.gif

    liam-neeson-taken-2-deauville-12.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 25, 2016 7:34 AM GMT
    Um... It's kind of like talking football with your football buddies. icon_confused.gif

    Well, no. It's exactly like that. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 25, 2016 7:36 AM GMT
    Was it a hookup or a customer? If a customer, then isn't it your job to entertain them even if they want to prattle on about irrelevant stuff? As long as they aren't being abusive.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 25, 2016 10:01 AM GMT
    Just seems really tacky and poor taste to bring stuff up like that in conversation with someone you're having sex with. Maybe you'd discuss it over some drinks with mates, in a "tell us about the biggest dick you ever saw" kinda way, but not with a hook-up.

    Was the sex really great? If so and you want to see him again, just make it clear that sort of talk isn't really on. If it wasn't that great just don't see him again. He's probably loose as fuck anyway!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2016 9:09 AM GMT
    SilverRRCloud said
    A few bottoms out there are sexually happy to bottom but are not comfortable with their position in that constellation. They feel that the top is getting the better end of the deal, and are doing their best to pull him down a peg or two, so that they could feel a bit better about themselves. .

    Block such talk, drop the dude and all of his mental baggage and look for someone who is wise enough to appreciate who he has got now.


    This made proper sense. I wish I could add to it, but everything you said explains things I've never even recognized before. Thankyou.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2016 9:19 AM GMT
    PulseFit said
    Was the sex really great? If so and you want to see him again, just make it clear that sort of talk isn't really on. If it wasn't that great just don't see him again. He's probably loose as fuck anyway!


    The sex was great, but his blowjobs sucked. Ummm...well, you get my point. He didn't suck, his blowjobs sucked. Wait, that doesn't make sense. Anyway...

    Yes, in bed he was submissive and what not...but it totally turned me off 360 when he started discussing what he was saying. To answer Mr Fuscles question...ummmm...how would you feel if the guy you were fucking started discussing how he hooked up with 4 guys during his "best friends wedding" just the other week? Then goes on to discuss all different men's dicks he's seen in a lifetime? How is that even a fucking conversation? That's just sex addict shit.

    To me, that takes the sex tom great to just being nasty and indiscriminate about who you're fucking. Guys like that will just open their hole up to any and everything who fits their fantasy...and who the hell knows who they may be fucking.

    By the way, this was deffo not business. This was a typical trick off adam4adam. This is the reason why I've decided to leave Adam4adam alone. It no longer is a good site to meet clients, and trying to date there is a mess. It's pretty much become the proverbial nasty ole bathhouse with guys who mostly 10-20 years older than me hit me up. No diss to older guys, but the older guys on Adam are just plain nasty. That type of shit that they do, will put a prostitute like me to shame. Atleast I use condoms and screen the people I come into contact with. I also take breaks and get tested and don't go to bars and sex clubs looking for the next trick either.

    After months and months, years even...I've come to realize adam4adam attracts a bunch of liars and sex addicts and racists who've realized they like certain color dicks up their ass.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 29, 2016 4:49 PM GMT
    pellaz saidits a hook up

    This.
    I never hook up, but I have, and the scariest part of it was talking to this stranger who I only was interested in because they have an hole. This is why I started to only date non-english speaking Asians.
  • mcbrion

    Posts: 305

    Mar 20, 2016 4:30 PM GMT
    Wow, sounds like the guy has no boundaries and thinks anything that comes into his head is up for talking about.
    Even if it's just sex, to be talking about someone else's dick size you "had" before is pretty messed up. Unfortunately, it has happened frequently enough to me when I was younger (in the 70s and 80s) that I realized that I wasn't a person (meaning a human being) to the guy I was with: I was a "thing" in the same way that Blacks have always been.
    Think about it: can you imagine a straight guy talking about a woman to another woman he just had sex with - I mean, as a common subject to discuss? That wouldn't be likely. It's something they're at least minimally conscious not to do.

    But not when it's a Black/White gay connection. Granted, some White guys are smart enough not to do that. But think of the reverse: when have you known a Black guy to bring up to a White guy - as a common occurrence - how big some other guy's dick was he dated before? Pretty rare. When YOU are the OBJECT, you can expect that, and when someone does that, you KNOW you are an object TO them. I'd leave if a guy ever did that, and if he asked why, I'd just tell him, if you have so little sense as to discuss some other guy's dick size when you're with me, you must have pretty bad social skills.
    It's interesting I had never had another Black guy EVER say that when he was with me. EVER.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 20, 2016 4:51 PM GMT
    Bottom line: the dude likes 'em massive. Nothing wrong with that, but I bet he's hating this world because there's a limited pool of 10"+ cocks around. BTW, you don't need to be a "slut" to enjoy 3somes and groups.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 21, 2016 1:50 AM GMT
    FuzzyPecs28 said
    PulseFit saidanswer Mr Fuscles question...ummmm...how would you feel if the guy you were fucking started discussing how he hooked up with 4 guys during his "best friends wedding" just the other week? Then goes on to discuss all different men's dicks he's seen in a lifetime? How is that even a fucking conversation? That's just sex addict shit.


    I would think he has a lot of sex with a lot of different people and only sees me as a sexual object. I have hired an escort in the past. Who am I to judge someone for their sexual life? Maybe he is a sex addict. He could be a lot of things. If I don't want people to judge me harshly simply because they don't understand me I should endeavor to do the same.

    If my only connection to the guy is sex and neither of us have a desire to connect on any other level then it wouldn't phase me. Maybe this is why I am so unhappy in the gay world. I tend to not want to talk about sex too soon with guys I am attracted to emotionally or intellectually. If I am talking about sex very quickly with a guy its a sign I do not want him as a partner and most likely don't want him as a friend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 21, 2016 1:53 AM GMT
    mcbrion saidWow, sounds like the guy has no boundaries and thinks anything that comes into his head is up for talking about. Even if it's just sex, to be talking about someone else's dick size you "had" before is pretty messed up.


    My point exactly. It would be an understatement to say this person has no filter. No...he has a filter, he just doesn't know how to use it.

    At this point, I take it as another learning lesson in this ever-confusing journey of navigating the gay world. Some people like you said...they don't even see their hookups as people, they're more or less videos on a computer screen. It's all about their fantasy. And yes, no Black guy sits around and brags on another guy's dick like that.

    That said...it's so easy no to spot those types now...and I just blow em off. Unless...it's part of the business, that's a different story. I'm not judging anyone's preferences or fantasy. You can be into your fantasy, and still maintain the value of the person you're doing it with. But, In my experiences, most of these types are more or less playing a number's games...and don't have a conscious to keep it down under.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 21, 2016 2:09 AM GMT
    FuzzyPecs28 said

    That said...ever since this happened, I don't even respond to messages from guys who are self-proclaimed bottoms for Black guys. Now...nothing wrong with that. I'm not judging anyone's preferences or fantasy. You can be into your fantasy, and still maintain the value of the person you're doing it with. But, In my experiences, most of these types are more or less playing a number's games...and don't have a conscious to keep it down under.


    This was the problem right there. I've never liked guys like that because not only do they not see you as a person but they don't see that as a problem. For some reason every big black dick chaser I've met has had a whiny voice and been completely selfish in bed as if fucking them should be all of the pleasure and validation I should need. Honestly bottoms like that are a huge reason why I'm not a big fan of topping. They basically see you as an organic

    High-end-A6-sex-toys-for-women-automatic
  • mcbrion

    Posts: 305

    Mar 22, 2016 4:41 AM GMT
    A person who sees you as a fantasy/thing to bed down and then "disown" by going on to discuss some other person's physical attributes (alright, his dick) does not think much of himself. It is a truism. Getting the guy with the big dick validates him. Of course, you have to have a conversation with him first to assess him. And for some, just "getting" sex is the only scene in the play they wish to act in. They're not the kind who come back to see how the play plays out.

    This is a case where Nancy Reagan's motto fits: Just Say No.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 24, 2016 8:26 PM GMT
    mcbrion saidA person who sees you as a fantasy/thing to bed down and then "disown" by going on to discuss some other person's physical attributes (alright, his dick) does not think much of himself. It is a truism. Getting the guy with the big dick validates him. Of course, you have to have a conversation with him first to assess him. And for some, just "getting" sex is the only scene in the play they wish to act in. They're not the kind who come back to see how the play plays out.

    This is a case where Nancy Reagan's motto fits: Just Say No.


    Lol exactly. I guess it goes deeper than just whats on the surface. Some of this stuff i don't even understand. I just hear it, and it don't sound right.

    Anyhow this whole thing happened like going on a month now. I've met so many other cool as guys, a couple had a big thing too lol. Shit, some of these guys act like finding a big dick is like a honor.

    I've been seeing big dicks in person since i was 14. It really got wild when i hit 18. So what, who cares. Give me the whole package. Is the body, face and personality all there to match? These guys be talking about people who are irrelevant who they aren't even with anymore. somebody they probably had a brief run with and that's it. Who cares.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 24, 2016 10:07 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs28 saidHow would you react if your hookup guy started talking about his previous partner'sssssss dick size?

    I'd ask for names, phone numbers, and email addresses.