Most diverse gay bar scene offered by city?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 29, 2016 12:48 AM GMT
    So, I just moved from the mountain west to the Deep South. Supposedly where I moved in Tennessee is the country music Capitol, however I always thought of Tennessee being mixed when it came down to it. That's where juicy J from the Miley Cirus song came from. Also, I haven't technically "moved" here, but rather I'm just "stationed" here for a couple or few months because of personal reasons. The gay bars aren't part of that reason, but there wasn't anything in particular otherwise besides a close friend.

    Well, I went out last night for the 3rd time...and was like, ummm, I'm not feeling this. I went to two bars and both were mostly all white guys, in groups, and the 1 or 2 black person who was either at the bar alone not talking to anyone or with their white friednd/BF of the night or whatever. I'm thinking to myself, this shit is ridiculous. I just left this kind of stuff, I'm not trying to go right back into it. The ONLY time guys were hitting on me was when I went out with a White guy back in December on like a lil meet n greet date. The white guys were trying to devour me. But, the last two times I've gone alone and no one has even bothered talking to me.

    Then, a guy on Grindr HIT ME UP earlier that day. He was talking about being at one of the bars, and even though we didn't plan to meet there...he did say "I'll be going there, check me out, check you out". Well, I see him...and other than a brief greeting, he pretty much threw shade and went back to dancing with his white leather clique the whole time I was there...which was about 30 minutes.

    I was like, this is clown shit. I'm starting to feel the gay bar scene is an unrealistic portrait of most every city. And even if I was to meet someone outside the bar, whats the chances they'd not be part of that same mindset?

    I know the usual cities like Atlanta always get mentioned for being this "black Mecca", but I'm not trying to do Atlanta really. There was a white guy who told me how he went down there to the hot spots and bathhouses, and felt the black guys were racist towards him because they weren't interested. I was like ummm....that'a how it usually feels for us gay Black guys in these 95% White gay bars. I said, so now you see how I feel. But he thought because he was the only white guy...somehow he'd be the "trophy". When they weren't into him, they were suddenly racists. But yet, how is it any different than someone who isn't White going to these gay bars that have no diversity and not having the results/interest they expect? I mean, how is one group racist for doing the same thing, but the other not?

    Thoughts?
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Feb 29, 2016 1:05 AM GMT
    Hey guys.
    The post above is an yet another example of a bitter queen's relentless unhappiness and disdain for the "gay community." As you can see, he's ALWAYS a victim and has ALWAYS been wronged by people he doesn't even know... This queen has a LOOOONG tradition of bitching and complaining about people... As you can see he moves around a lot. Poor thing... doesn't seem like he gets on anywhere he goes.

    Citing Grindr in nearly everyone of his rants it's clear this fuckface has a serious addiction to digital "crap" via social media. This cynical idiot repeats the same mishaps over and over again and comes to RJ to discuss his frustrations so we can all laugh at him. He will blame everyone and everything but himself. This angry dummy refuses to listen or take advice from anyone, rather he wants to make sure his voice is heard above the rest and to drag down any opposing view through loud repitition and confrontation.


    OP. fuck you and what u say.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 29, 2016 1:11 AM GMT
    Ok, clearly it says something about you that you have to go out of your way to get bent out of shape over a virtual thread from someone 2,000 miles away and spew vicious crap. Why are you so offended? Nothing I said in my thread was meant to be offensive. Just because I Referenced the gay white scene, you're getting all bent out of shape? Says ALOT about you and your virtual bullshit.

    By the way...lets be clear. I don't dislike white guys. That's not what I'm saying. But how is it there's cities with a 60/30/10 population of white/Black/Latin have only 5 black guys and 20 Latinos in a bar of like 200 people? The Grindr reference was simply an example of the scene at the particular place I was at.

    That's all I'm trying to say. Don't get yourself all worked up over nothing. It's bad for your blood pressure and karma. If you're so happy and you're so much better than I, why you feel the need to come at me disdain and negatively? Practice what you preach you fucking hypocrite. Fuck you back mother fucker.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 29, 2016 2:42 AM GMT
    Import saidHey guys.
    The post above is an yet another example of a bitter queen's relentless unhappiness and disdain for the "gay community." As you can see, he's ALWAYS a victim and has ALWAYS been wronged by people he doesn't even know... This queen has a LOOOONG tradition of bitching and complaining about people... As you can see he moves around a lot. Poor thing... doesn't seem like he gets on anywhere he goes.

    Citing Grindr in nearly everyone of his rants it's clear this fuckface has a serious addiction to digital "crap" via social media. This cynical idiot repeats the same mishaps over and over again and comes to RJ to discuss his frustrations so we can all laugh at him. He will blame everyone and everything but himself. This angry dummy refuses to listen or take advice from anyone, rather he wants to make sure his voice is heard above the rest and to drag down any opposing view through loud repitition and confrontation.


    OP. fuck you and what u say.

    Hahah. Truth!

    Seriously, OP seems pretty miserable where ever he moves to. Always has something to bitch about. Always plays the victim because white guys won't give him the time of day, and he hates other black gays cuz they too ghetto.

    And let's not forget that OP is an escort. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But he allows his escorting life to crossover to his personal life. And drama ensues. And we get lame threads like this. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 29, 2016 3:11 AM GMT
    Shut the fuck up about all this misery stuff. No one is miserable. Believe that.

    Anyway, when someone can actually respond to the question with something intelligent, instead of all this other stuff about victim this and that (which clearly CNN has gotten into heads of way too many people), then I'll come back to this. Otherwise, the usual haters can keep hating with their measly paying jobs while I'm sitting back being taken care of just lovely.

    Matter of fact, let me assist: HEY REAL JOCK, I'M AN ESCORT. I RATHER SELL MY ASSETS THAN TO GIVE IT UP FOR FREE TO ANY OLD TOM'S HARRY DICK.

    Nothing wrong with giving it up for free or hooking up, but I have a talent and I'm going to fucking use it. And not sure how the fuck that statement about letting escorting cross over into my personal life has ANYTHING to do with what I'm talking about. Gay bars are the personal life on my personal time. I don't mix that with anything so how the fuck does that make any sense what you just said?
  • Triggerman

    Posts: 528

    Feb 29, 2016 4:34 AM GMT
    Maybe it is just me. I seek out Black guys in bars. Not for sex but for the humor. Black guys are always funnier than white guys. They see things from a different point of view, as do I. I love humor and funny guys. Black guys for whatever reason are almost always funnier than white guys. Put three black guys together, especially gay black guys, and it is fun. I may be the object of the fun but I do not care. Funny is funny
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 29, 2016 7:34 AM GMT
    Triggerman saidMaybe it is just me. I seek out Black guys in bars. Not for sex but for the humor. Black guys are always funnier than white guys. They see things from a different point of view, as do I. I love humor and funny guys. Black guys for whatever reason are almost always funnier than white guys. Put three black guys together, especially gay black guys, and it is fun. I may be the object of the fun but I do not care. Funny is funny


    Well Thank-you for the compliment...though indirect I guess. But at some point, do you ever take that fun and turn it into something more serious? Because that's where it gets real.

    My thing is, once again I'm not trying to avoid White guys or not be around them at all. So I see how DEport got a little bent out of shape. That's not what I'm saying. It's just being in a social setting where that's the majority of who's there puts me on the spot, even when I'm not feeling on the spot. I think it's easier to mingle and meet when the crowd is mixed. I'm not into all black scenes or all Latin scenes either...but it's generally much easier mingling in a Black/Latin crowd than a Latin crowd that's White based. And that's what I don't like either. Latin guys in majority White towns/gay scenes turn their noses up and shun you as if you're less of a person for not being White.

    I just don't know why some guys get so mad when I talk about this. Most every White guy I've ever come across, when they're the only White guy in a club full of Black dudes, be sure to mention it or bring it up in a storyline of how they were the only White person and felt weird. Yet, for us it's something we're used to.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 29, 2016 10:44 AM GMT
    I have been to many gay bars in Southern Ontario and Ottawa, many of them were 95% white at least but despite that I never had any trouble talking to anyone or hooking up (I hooked almost every time I went to the bar). The only time I had trouble was my first time. I was curious to see what gay bars were like and coming from India, I had never been to one. The moment I stepped in, it intimidated me in such a way, I sat in one corner with a beer and didn't talk to anyone. There was a guy who introduced himself to me and sat beside me throughout the night even suggesting that we hang out at my place. I was too scared so I maintained my distance from him. Gradually, I came around to losing my guard and even started to enjoy the gay bar scene as long as it was only once in a blue moon. Perhaps, it is different south of the border from Canada. But I agree a lot of people in gay bars are these raging queens who cannot stop commenting on how everyone is dressed, they cannot go 2 minutes more without rolling their eyes. Not that, I have a problem with queens but the bitchiness can be quite a turn off.

    I smile a lot so perhaps that makes me somewhat more approachable in a place where half the people have this sourpuss pout on their face.

    I think OP you had a bad experience once and since then you have kept your guard up to the point of being unfriendly or too shy. There is a risk of embarrassment in reaching out but one's affront to your friendliness is not your shame.
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    Feb 29, 2016 6:07 PM GMT
    ricky1987 saidGradually, I came around to losing my guard and even started to enjoy the gay bar scene as long as it was only once in a blue moon. Perhaps, it is different south of the border from Canada. But I agree a lot of people in gay bars are these raging queens who cannot stop commenting on how everyone is dressed, they cannot go 2 minutes more without rolling their eyes. Not that, I have a problem with queens but the bitchiness can be quite a turn off.

    I smile a lot so perhaps that makes me somewhat more approachable in a place where half the people have this sourpuss pout on their face.

    I think OP you had a bad experience once and since then you have kept your guard up to the point of being unfriendly or too shy. There is a risk of embarrassment in reaching out but one's affront to your friendliness is not your shame.


    Haha, I couldn't help but laugh about the queeniness, bitchiness and the pout faced. I recently went out with one of my white friends in Denver last weekend while I was there, and this bitch had nothing but negative things to say about me the entire time. "I don't like that hat with that sweater", "why are you so covered up", why this, why that. I mean, he's a long time friend so I know how he is...but finally I was like screw this, I'm gonna split up. Found me a cute lil Latin boy who was interested in what I had to offer.

    And that's the thing about the mostly white gay bars that I'm trying to avoid lol. Who wants to be around all these judgemental creep squads? Hell, even a white guy at the bar told me the guys in this town are judgemental...but they work at Dillard's lol.

    That said, I always go out with a positive mind set and smiley face. I never let them get me down. I'm NOT shy at a bar, but I'm not one of those guys who just go around and bullshit with 50 different people In night. When I'm by myself, I try to approach either the people who are alone or I wait to pick up a sign from them that they are interested. Always works for me, even if that means I only talk to 1 person the whole night. Some guys move to a new city, and hit the gay bars like the best thing that ever happened. Bitch, sit yo ass down. I'm trying to stay low key and slowly work my way around. I'm not trying to just dive in and get a reputation for myself. I've seen many gay guys jump into the scene, and either get their ass beat or get labeled as a whore and had to leave town because they ended up with a reputation for themselves

    I used to sometimes blindly talk to guys who were walking by or happened to be next to me, and it never worked because they never gave me any signal that they were intrested. And in the example above about the guy who was there from Grindr, I would have NEVER spoken to him otherwise because he wasnt alone and didn't look very available. So lesson learned AGAIN on that one.

    By the way, I deleted my Grindr. Not for use in non diverse cities.
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    Feb 29, 2016 6:28 PM GMT
    So people think the OP is miserable and hates the gay community, so the online RJ community responds and tells him to go fuck himself? pretty sure you're just proving the OP's point. Yeah, OP should probably take some responsibility for his bad experiences but no need to go ape shit on him (unless you have a really intelligent point to make).

    Also the gay community is just as fucked up and racist as the straight community, they just don't acknowledge it.
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    Feb 29, 2016 9:24 PM GMT
    TO23 saidSo people think the OP is miserable and hates the gay community, so the online RJ community responds and tells him to go fuck himself? pretty sure you're just proving the OP's point. Yeah, OP should probably take some responsibility for his bad experiences but no need to go ape shit on him (unless you have a really intelligent point to make).

    Also the gay community is just as fucked up and racist as the straight community, they just don't acknowledge it.


    THANKYOU! See, this is why I need to find a way to vacation to Canada. Be a foreign exchange student during my BA or something. I think scenes would change dramatically in A Canadian gay scene.

    By the way though, my experiences haven't necessarily been "bad", but more just observant and annoying. I've already spoke to a handful of gay guys who have said they used to like the gay scene in this town, but stopped going. So I'm not worrying too much about how miserable someone thinks I am. Clearly these are words unspoken.

    And I know gay bars don't speak for everyone, but when you're new in town, trying to find your way....what other ways can you meet people? Meetup.com stuff is okay, but sometimes that kind of stuff is "too much". When I tried it before, most activities were centered around sports and hiking, or "group chat activities". I'm not into all that. I just need an hour or 2 to socialize, and go on about my business. I've tried meetup.com before, but in the end I still met all my previous gay friends in gay bars. Most of the time, people would go to these meetup.com events, and end up heading to the bar afterwards anyway.

    right now I just got a blowjob for 30 minutes, I'm enjoying the sun it's 70 degrees, gonna go for a workout because I have a date later tonight. I'm so miserable!


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    Feb 29, 2016 9:50 PM GMT
    TO23 saidSo people think the OP is miserable and hates the gay community, so the online RJ community responds and tells him to go fuck himself? pretty sure you're just proving the OP's point. Yeah, OP should probably take some responsibility for his bad experiences but no need to go ape shit on him (unless you have a really intelligent point to make).

    Also the gay community is just as fucked up and racist as the straight community, they just don't acknowledge it.


    I would agree with you if this was the OP's only post like this, but unfortunately it ain't.
  • JackNNJ

    Posts: 1051

    Feb 29, 2016 11:34 PM GMT
    NYC hands down. Sure, all you see are emaciated drugged out twinks and butt ugly old trolls, but the diversity lies in the fact that you can see them in different buildings, on different blocks.
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    Mar 01, 2016 2:40 AM GMT
    TO23 saidSo people think the OP is miserable and hates the gay community, so the online RJ community responds and tells him to go fuck himself? pretty sure you're just proving the OP's point. Yeah, OP should probably take some responsibility for his bad experiences but no need to go ape shit on him (unless you have a really intelligent point to make).

    Also the gay community is just as fucked up and racist as the straight community, they just don't acknowledge it.


    I would normally agree. But this guy has a lonnng history of posting in generalities (often anti-white) and then making nasty, personal comments at/about people who disagree with him. I honestly think there might be a need for him to see a counselor and I've suggested as much. It's obvious he's in a bit of social pain... and having been there myself I and many others can identify with that. But you still can control how you treat others. He doesn't appear to make our community better, he seems to add to misunderstanding while upholding some stereotypes along the way.
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    Mar 01, 2016 4:07 AM GMT
    Do all black guys do is bitch and complain???? icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Mar 02, 2016 1:03 AM GMT
    Whites in the gay community prefer to date their own

    Latinos are second

    Blacks third

    Asians fourth

    Indians last

    ---

    Life goes on ... Really get over it

    Irony I don't get is why here in Mexico all these white people try so hard to be darker yet discriminate against Indians...

    Guess the saying, no one hates like family couldn't be more true

    PS I'm in Mexico, so many sexy races from all over the world.. Whites are not better than anyone else here it seems
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 02, 2016 1:26 AM GMT
    As for the "gay hierarchy" mentioned above, sexual discrimination exists but who cares? From experience that list is not positively correlated to penis size... Ironically it's quite shocking when these stereotypes say more about those that perpetuate them verses the targets..

    So let the small dick gays fuck each other ... No harm no foul
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 02, 2016 1:47 AM GMT
    OP needing white dick again.
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    Mar 02, 2016 6:38 PM GMT
    Painted saidWhites in the gay community prefer to date their own

    Latinos are second

    Blacks third

    Asians fourth

    Indians last

    ---

    Life goes on ... Really get over it

    Irony I don't get is why here in Mexico all these white people try so hard to be darker yet discriminate against Indians...

    Guess the saying, no one hates like family couldn't be more true

    PS I'm in Mexico, so many sexy races from all over the world.. Whites are not better than anyone else here it seems


    I have heard of racial hierarchies too though in my own personal experience I have never dealt with it thankfully.

    If you are experiencing difficulties in dating and sex then you should visit Europe. I would say Germany and Austria are the best. You will find many people wanting to go out with you simply because of the colour of your skin. For the most part, it is just an escape for them. It is like you eat tuna everyday so you want salmon for a change. It gets better if you go to smaller towns.

    And while, they want to have sex with you and even date you short term, they won't prefer long term since in their head the image of significant other has always been someone white and white children and white fence and what white not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 02, 2016 6:39 PM GMT
    Painted saidAs for the "gay hierarchy" mentioned above, sexual discrimination exists but who cares? From experience that list is not positively correlated to penis size... Ironically it's quite shocking when these stereotypes say more about those that perpetuate them verses the targets..

    So let the small dick gays fuck each other ... No harm no foul


    I prefer small dicks for penetration and bigger ones for oral and foreplay.