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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2007 4:48 PM GMT
    When I go the gym I go there to workout , I do not have my cell phone in my pocket or attached to my hip like it’s an IV or like I’m getting a blood transfusion. For the duration that I am there I prefer that I am not distracted or interrupted I am totally focused on getting through my workout. Let me share with you recent encounter that I had. I was on way to the locker room and I was walking at my normal pace which leave my friends gasping for air whenever they walk with me so very few of them do… what can I say I like to get to where I’m going.

    Anyway, here is what happened I am on my to the locker room and the path is a rather narrow and there is this guy engrossed in sending a text totally oblivious to his surrounding , I try to past on the right he moves to the right and I try to past on the he moves to the left he’s doing this still glued to his sending and responding to his text. Did I say to that he was moving at a snails pace. So finally the paths opens up and I am able to pass and in doing so he shoots me and calls me a name that I won’t repeat.

    I did not say what I wanted to because there were women within ear shot. But I did say. "If I were you I would be a little more a where of my surrounding because you might run into my someone fist or a wall as a reward for you being so considerate".

    What I really wanted to do was to tare this guy a new one and they some trust me I would have been seen as the aggressor since I was larger than he was. Then I would have to look for a new gym.

    I’m I crazy in my thinking to be on the mind-set that unless you are a cardiac surgeon or the president nothing is that important that can’t wait and if it is then poof be gone and handle your business and get the heck out of the way.

    Inconsiderate gym members really irritates me.icon_evil.gif
  • Nudista

    Posts: 158

    Oct 08, 2007 5:58 PM GMT
    Don't let it get to you buddy....
    Im sure we could all create an infinite list of things that can be considered annoying at the gym...matter of fact, there was a recent post...gym pet peeves...or something. I've never seen such a long list in my life....
    but unless the issue is actually something you can resolve....there is no sense in letting it bother you. Matter of fact...focus on your workout and let everything else slide right off of you.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2007 6:06 PM GMT
    Was he a cardiac surgeon?

    Was it really that important that you get by him so quickly?

    Did you speak up behind him so that he knew you wanted to get by?

    Was being nasty back to him the resolution to the situation that you wanted? Or for him to understand how he was acting?

    Do you think he went away appreciating what he was doing? Or went away thinking you are some kind of impatient, high-speed prick? ("my normal pace which leave my friends gasping for air whenever they walk with me so very few of them do")

    This incident escalated into a agitated exchange. Over what? ...a few seconds delay ...what was so urgent about getting to the locker room a few seconds earlier?

    Whereas he seems to have been engaged in this phone, he did try to move to let you by and the two of you did that little dance that often happens even when the two people are facing each other, not coming up from behind.

    My assessment: You need to cool your jets. Recognize there are others on this planet, too. And apologize when your pace "crashes" you into others.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2007 6:34 PM GMT
    Calson:
    I'm sorry I guess, I left out the part that I said pardon me. I was very polite to this guy. As I am with everyone that I come in contact with.

    He was rude to me. With the name calling. Which is something in which I would never do.

    I just simply wanted to get past him which is something I am well within my right to do, yes?

    I normally walk at a fast-pace is that a crime?
    I did not say that I was behind this guy in traffic which I have witness drivers fly into rage and almost cause an accident.

    Thank you sir for brash-commentary.icon_biggrin.gif


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2007 7:01 PM GMT
    You know, I have to say, in this instance I think Caslon is right.

    The gym is not just a place to exercise. It also a place where you go to get away from real life, a place to take a breather and maybe even slow down and think about life.

    From what you are saying he wasn't even in the weights room but on the way to the changing room. I think it's perfectly acceptable to check up on you text messages here and I think you are getting upset over nothing. I'm not surprised he swore at you.

    Are you like this when you are in your car?
  • bigguysf

    Posts: 329

    Oct 08, 2007 7:05 PM GMT
    No offense Caslon, but Phoenix43 is well within his rights to be able to get by this guy at his own pace, and get annoyed when the guy gets an attitude because his self-centered behavior was called out. If his text messaging is that important, then he should step to the side and actually deal with it without also being inconsiderate to others who need to share the same space.

    After all, we're not on this planet by ourselves, right? We live in such a self-centered world these days that it is the norm to think that our wants and needs are much more important than anyone else's. Unfortunately, that's not the reality. My wants, Phoenix's wants, your wants.. they are all of equal value and just as important to each of us.

    And I'm not saying this to give you a hard time Caslon, but who are you (or this guy) to dictate how Phoenix43 should use his time? If he wants to get in a few seconds earlier, that's his choice... just as it's the text guy's choice to deal with his text at that moment and not wait until he's maybe in a more convenient and private location.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2007 7:07 PM GMT
    Sure he was wrong at shouting a rude remark at you. But he wasnt shouting rude remarks at others. So the way you came up upon him must have been pretty irritating.

    Moving quickly may not be a crime, but the rest of the world doesnt have to move at your speed. It would be best for you, I think, to cool your jets when you approach people. Realize they arent necessarily going to respond at your desired speed (...and they dont have to. You dont set the "speed limit" in the hallway.)

    I suggest it would be easier on you if you take others into consideration and calm down. You've got youself so hyped you are venting on here. That other guy isnt thinking a thing about this...except maybe that there was this rude guy flying thru hallway. Realize ohers may think you are inconsiderate at the gym. Flying around and expecting everybody else to get out of your way.

    Try putting yourself in the other guy's shoes. And when he does something that you dont like, like shouting at you, dont shout back. It just escalates things. And what did you get from it anyway? I bet you didnt reform his behavior.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2007 7:13 PM GMT
    bigguysfIf his text messaging is that important, then he should step to the side and actually deal with it without also being inconsiderate to others who need to share the same space.

    I totally agree with you, bigguysf. But turning it into a shouting match isnt the answer.

    bigguysfPhoenix43 is well within his rights to be able to get by this guy at his own pace

    Now this I dont agree on. There is no "right" to move thru a hallway at one's own pace. Think of it: if his right to move at his own pace is violated, can he push people out of the way?

    I just think that if Phoenix gets upset everytime somebody obstructs his path as he moves through life at his accelerated pace, he is gonna have one loooong unhappy life, littered with a trail of equally unhappy people.

    Damn, how small is this hallway anyway??? One person blocks that whole hallway????
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2007 7:42 PM GMT
    Phoenix43, you are right. Yeah, the gym, or other places, can be a place to step away from life's fast pace, but that's no excuse for ignoring others around you. Sounds like you were polite in asking to get around him, and he was a jerk for not doing it promptly and politely. I've been in others' ways, and others have been in my way. When I am unintentionally blocking someone and become aware of it I smile and apologize. If someone is blocking my way I ask him to excuse me. All of our lives become a little easier when greased by a little common courtesy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2007 7:54 PM GMT
    Antelope,
    You are totally right. That is how life should be.

    My two basic points of contention are:
    1) That Phoenix admits he moves so quickly. So I think he needs to factor that into his interactions.
    2) His angry response to the rude fellow. The other guy rude to him. But it does no good to be rude back. Nothing was resolved there. Indeed, things were made worse. If Phoenix can decide under what circumstances he can be rude, then the other fellow can decide under what circumstances he can be rude. And we have a vicious cycle. We need to break that cycle in order to move forward in our relationships between people.

    Two rudes dont make a right...or a good relationship in life. IMHO. ... icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2007 8:15 PM GMT
    REDHEADGUY,

    I often go out of my way to be polite and respectful to other people. To Answer you question now I am not like this in my car because. It's not all about me.

    Me. did you miss the fact that that I said "pardon me" to this guy and when there was enough room to passs him with running him into a wall I did so.

    When I'm in my car I aways stop for pedestrians and I do not move forward until they have cleared the walk way.

    You know when anyone wants to get past me I yield and most of the time they do not say pardon me or excuse me.

    Lastly I did not invade this guys "personal bubble".

    I was not ridding his coat-tails. You know I knew open myself up to take some hits that's fine.

    bigguysf: Thank You for your comments.
    Antelope: I apperciate yours as well.

    Caslon:
    I never did I write that I yelled at that guy I was quite calm. I had every right to respond to with the same agreesion that he was deplaying towards me but elected not to. Did you miss that part????



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2007 8:26 PM GMT
    I am sorry. I thought you shouted back at him. My apologies.

    But this didnt need shouting, IMHO:
    QUOTE Phoenix43"But I did say. "If I were you I would be a little more a where of my surrounding because you might run into my someone fist or a wall as a reward for you being so considerate"."

    In fact, I think in some states that kind of speech might be grounds for legal action. That's beyond rude...(if I interpret the English correctly). If I felt compelled to speak to people like that, I would be seeking counseling.

    Again, is this hallway really only one person wide?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2007 8:45 PM GMT
    There's a great gym just south of San Francisco called "Gideon's Gym" - it produces a lot of hardcore bodybuilders/powerlifters as well as being the gym of choice for a wide range of less extreme types. If the owner, who is generally present, sees someone on the floor talking on a cell phone, he'll walk over, grab it out of their hands, and smash it to bits.

    There's a sign warning people not to carry them onto the floor....

    - J.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2007 8:53 PM GMT
    Caslon:


    No. Because I did not say to him that I would do it. It was a word of caution more than anything else.

    The next guy that he doe that to may do that to him.
    He knew what I meant.

    I'm sorry it got lost in translation.

    It not that serious I do not spend my time assulting people verbally or otherwise.

    I appreciate your apology.icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2007 11:43 PM GMT
    I am beginning to suspect that this whole thing is just L'esprit de l'escalier speaking.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Oct 09, 2007 1:11 PM GMT
    I agree with Apex on this, there's lots of things that cause us to be irritated during the day. Some jerk walking slowley and being rude seems a bit too insignificant to get too wound up about.

    As Caslon suggested, lets chillout about this and don't like other people's rudeness upset our days.

    Using cell-phones in enclosed places in rude, and gyms shouldn't allow it. But it's not worth us getting het up about is it.

    Lozx
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2007 2:08 PM GMT
    More and more I find people walking around sending text messages and being completely oblivious to their surroundings. I often find them to be rude when you say, "Excuse me" as you try to get around them. I've bumped into people when they abruptly stop in front of me to send a text message at the top or bottom of stairs, escalators, entrances, etc.

    I think Phoenix was right to be upset about the guy's response, which was the reason for the post.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Oct 09, 2007 3:00 PM GMT
    Well I personally don't think Phoenix was completely blameless in this encounter.

    Some people rush around gyms like they own the place, really it's about treating other gym-users with respect. Just how late would Phoenix have been if he'd slowed down a couple of seconds instead of pushing past the guy infront?

    But really these sort of things aren't worth getting upset about are they?

    Loz
  • Nudista

    Posts: 158

    Oct 09, 2007 3:45 PM GMT
    I agree with you Laurence...no offense Phoenix, but i think we are speaking of a Hurricane here when in fact what seems to have taken place was a rain shower...and a light one at that!

    If Im going to be upset/stressed over who bumped into who in a hallway...who was texting, who wasn't, who had the right of way, who didn't...how wide/narrow the hallway was, and who should of done what!!! Might as well take him to court while your at it!!! LOL

    If all this agrumenting can come out of a simple hallway incident....I can't imagine what the rest of the day might bring.....!!

    No but really...I would never let such petty events even begin to bother me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2007 7:25 PM GMT


    All I did was walk past the guy which is what I'm entitled to do as person living in the free world.

    It's done every day: in the hallways, on the streets in your or home when you are passing by your partner.
    We even do it in the market while shopping. How is this any different? It’s not. In all fairness, that is no reason to make assumptions that are not true.

    This guy called me B***H for merely excersing my right to pass him. He had no right to one yell at me secondly call me out of my name. It was then and only then that I made the comment that I made to him.

    I did not threaten to strike him or harm him at all.

    I said "pardon me please" and where I'm from that is considered very polite.

    You can consider me petty or whatever and considering that none of you know me from Adam you are entitled to your opinion. I would never got out of my way to openly rude to anyone, it's not in my nature.



    Good Lord! Man alive!

  • Nudista

    Posts: 158

    Oct 09, 2007 7:49 PM GMT
    Phoenix...let me tell you man, I'm not saying you are petty...no no no. I'm sure your a great guy...you sound like it for sure. My focus was on the event itself and how i would have reacted to it if at all.

    I do think the event was rather petty...as i said. The world is filled with assholes like the one you ran into...that will never change. But if i let my emotions get wound up over this type of event i think I'd be an emotional wreck by the weeks end...considering all that happens in the avg. persons daily life.

    I try not to get emotionally involved with negative events such as the one you describe...pouring my emotional self into positive events is alot more satisfying to me...a fulfilling experience. The type of incident you describe tends to have a draining effect on me when i let it wrap me up. So by the time I got to the end of that hallway im probably thinking of what urinal im going to showericon_eek.gif...not the dumb-ass i just ran into. The hallway did lead to the restrooms didn't it???
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2007 7:52 PM GMT
    This is what you said you said: "But I did say. "If I were you I would be a little more a where of my surrounding because you might run into my someone fist or a wall as a reward for you being so considerate".

    Now you say: "I did not threaten to strike him or harm him at all.

    I said "pardon me please" and where I'm from that is considered very polite."


    The story seems to have changed. So which is it?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 15, 2007 5:47 AM GMT
    I was in the exact same situation once as the creater of this post. I came up right behind the guy and sharply said EXCUSE ME. Not loud just stern. He turned, said sorry and let me pass.

    I also have been the person texting as I was leaving the gym. I am always aware of my proifial view, and there was no reason that I couldnt have waited to leave text later. But there was someone trying to get past me that I didnt realize was there. Fortunatly, I felt him breathing down my neck so I turned, moved, smiled and apologized.

    We can all be oblivious sometimes just as we all can sometimes be understanding of peoples obliviousness.