At a loss. Sex used to feel great! Now, not so much...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 08, 2016 4:21 AM GMT
    So here's my story...

    I used to love anal sex. A lot! Then, about a year and a half ago, it stopped being so great. It was suddenly painful, like, in the "I think I may have torn something down there" kind of way.

    I held off on sex for a while, essentially becoming celibate, thinking the time off from bottoming would let whatever trauma happened down there heal. Eventually, I thought I'd give a toy a try, and see how it felt.

    It was instant pain. Like, the itching/burning kind of pain. The kind that doesn't go away immediately afterwards.

    So I finally saw a doctor. My STI screens were clean. He took a look down there, saw absolutely nothing, yet upon applying pressure with one finger, the pain was present.

    He set me up with a specialist (whom I had to wait 4 months to see) who took an even closer look. Again, I'm told there appears to be no issue.

    Fuck.

    So now, I'm in sexual purgatory. After seeing two doctors and being told by both of them that nothing is wrong, I feel defeated. My sex life is basically non-existent (as I seem to only attract tops and I'm clearly unable to bottom). I never thought I'd take this to an online forum, but I'm completely at a loss. What do I do?

    What I'm hoping for is someone who perhaps went through a similar experience, and even more hopefully had a positive outcome.

    Any who, thanks for reading. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 08, 2016 4:34 AM GMT
    Consult with your doctor again. With perhaps a referral to a urologist. You may need a second opinion.

    I had prostate pain on bottoming. Turns out I had prostate cancer. Which at your young age is very unlikely, of course. Perhaps a prostate infection. I got my first one at exactly your age.

    There is such a thing as "non-specific prostatitis" that doesn't always show in urine samples. Nor will it culture. It takes a really good urologist to diagnosis it. You may need to try again. But it appears something is wrong when you have pain you didn't have before. Abnormal pain is a strong indicator.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 08, 2016 2:45 PM GMT
    I agree; it doesn't make sense that you have sudden pain and nothing's wrong. Get another opinion.

    Why are you celibate, though? It's understandable that are avoiding anal sex but there is obviously other ways to enjoy sex.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Mar 08, 2016 3:45 PM GMT
    The fact that you're worrying about it may be contributing to the problem.

    Pain is one of the funniest (read oddest) phenomena in medicine. People who have had their legs amputated can get phantom pains in their non-existent feet. I'm not saying your problem is related (you should consult with another doctor), but if they can't find anything wrong, it may be worth consulting with a mental health professional about new (and subconscious) anxiety about recommencing anal sex. One of the sphincters that controls the anus (the internal one) is involuntary, which could be what is causing your discomfort.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 08, 2016 4:01 PM GMT
    the 2 doctors; you have their test results from their blood draws? Be proactive and call their offices to get a pdf copy.

    look for a Urologist with an office in the gay bro. get their review on some web sites. Functional care is not the standard.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 08, 2016 4:04 PM GMT
    You're way too young to be sidelined. All above advice is good including finding a psychologist or psychiatrist. Definitely find another physician too. My 1st thought when reading your post was anal fissure? Quite unpleasant but a Dr. should be able to see these w/a short scope. Itching, burning pain in a specific spot is their symptom. Bleeding also.
    Best of luck with this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 08, 2016 6:04 PM GMT
    SeanEss25 saidSo here's my story...

    I used to love anal sex. A lot! Then, about a year and a half ago, it stopped being so great. It was suddenly painful, like, in the "I think I may have torn something down there" kind of way.

    I held off on sex for a while, essentially becoming celibate, thinking the time off from bottoming would let whatever trauma happened down there heal. Eventually, I thought I'd give a toy a try, and see how it felt.

    It was instant pain. Like, the itching/burning kind of pain. The kind that doesn't go away immediately afterwards.

    So I finally saw a doctor. My STI screens were clean. He took a look down there, saw absolutely nothing, yet upon applying pressure with one finger, the pain was present.

    He set me up with a specialist (whom I had to wait 4 months to see) who took an even closer look. Again, I'm told there appears to be no issue.

    Fuck.

    So now, I'm in sexual purgatory. After seeing two doctors and being told by both of them that nothing is wrong, I feel defeated. My sex life is basically non-existent (as I seem to only attract tops and I'm clearly unable to bottom). I never thought I'd take this to an online forum, but I'm completely at a loss. What do I do?

    What I'm hoping for is someone who perhaps went through a similar experience, and even more hopefully had a positive outcome.

    Any who, thanks for reading. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!


    I don't think it's psychically related, as to why your Anal enjoyment has dissipated. I think it's most likely anxiety based. Seeing as anxiety can unconsciously sneak it's way into anyones life, for a myriad of reasons, it's highly likely in my opinion that this is the root underlying problem. And anxiety will contribute greatly to the effect of the anus being in pain anytime there is any penetration, or stimulation.

    I know as well to have a good hunch you may be experiencing anxiety related symptoms towards your lack of enjoyment of Anal sex now, because it's happened to me, and is still happening to an extent for me. I am fully healthy and fully functioning in all other respects related to my sexual health, and I can pinpoint when I know Anal pleasure will be a problem; because my anxiety will always have spiked. Also, a lot of Doctors have zero interest or care in a Man's Anal Pleasure responses, so don't quickly take prescription medications even if for anxiety, (if it is in fact that); because the side effects can physically affect your Prostate/Prostate Health and Anal Pleasure/Anal Health.

    As has been suggested by other Guys, seeing other Doctors is a good idea. Let us know if you end up debunking and clarifying what is really happening to affect your enjoyment of Anal Sex. I really hope you find out and get the best outcome, so you start enjoying Anal Sex again like you deserve!
  • metta

    Posts: 39165

    Mar 08, 2016 6:51 PM GMT
    "He took a look down there, saw absolutely nothing, yet upon applying pressure with one finger, the pain was present."


    It does not sound psychological to me. Could it be nerve damage?


    Would a prostate massage hurt?
  • Sincityfan

    Posts: 409

    Mar 08, 2016 10:52 PM GMT
    were they gay doctors?
  • Edepic

    Posts: 88

    Mar 09, 2016 3:35 AM GMT
    A psychological cause is only determined after all physical causes are ruled out. And this has not been done.
    Where exactly was the pain felt when you or the doctor applied pressure? If over the prostate (anterior wall about 4-5 inches in) it would be prostiatitis as was suggested, a difficult diagnosis to make.
    If in another location, probably an abscess or fissure. Sometime these need surgical intervention, but a first step of high doses of an antibiotic, one against gram negative bacteria, should be given as a trial immediately.
    I am very surprised that your doctors didn't suggest this.
    Get other medical opinions.
    Pleural opinions
    Untill its eliminated.
  • Edepic

    Posts: 88

    Mar 09, 2016 4:50 PM GMT
    robbaker saidWell that's what you get when you subboys like it to be rough and mechanical. Luckily your insudes weren't torn apart and usually them top daddies don't give a shit they'll fuck you nonstop and put lots of hurtin in them boyholes sending thrir asses straight to the emergency room or worst be put into a coma for days.but you boys had it coming icon_rolleyes.gif



    Over 100 years ago Sigmund Freud addressed this topic of homosexual anal intercourse. He said essentially that straight people who thought this was disgusting are like prissy girls who will not touch a penis because it's dirty from urine. He also said, that of course homosexual men will have anal sex,
    " what else are they supposed to do?".
  • Fireworkz

    Posts: 606

    Mar 09, 2016 7:11 PM GMT
    Why don't you try topping for a change or siding.
    Why would you give up meeting guys because you can't bottom?
    Is your worth as a lover defined by your ability to take a cock? I didn't have anal sex until late 20s and found no problem finding sexual partners and boyfriends.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14380

    Mar 13, 2016 1:21 AM GMT
    robbaker saidLGBT, another wing of the American Taliban.
    We are not a Taliban icon_mad.gif Keep regurgitating the same homophobic nonsense like an old broken record. Your are one repugnant rollicking retardicon_mad.gif