Dom bottom/sub top?

  • oldfart

    Posts: 328

    Mar 09, 2016 3:59 AM GMT
    I know a couple that looks like this, but I'm not certain. Seems like a contradiction to me.

    One, the "top," seems unhappy or unsatisfied or something. He seems to be dropping hints to me wanting help (definitely not sex.)

    Have you seen this? What would you do or say, if anything?
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Mar 09, 2016 5:31 AM GMT
    Yup.

    You do come across sub tops and dom bottom dudes who are in some sort of a relationship. This is not your default, though. icon_smile.gif

    It takes a while for many guys to understand that someone who is a bottom may be actually able to dominate the relationship, and have his top function as his 'sub'. This constellation is a rarity of a kind since many bottoms want to be submissive, and many, many tops feel that it is their role to dominate.

    Regardless of what the issue at hand may be, if a dude needs help, listen to what he has to say, and pick it up from there...


    SC



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 10, 2016 1:49 AM GMT
    Don't many heterosexual marriages work this way?

    The woman has the power to stop submitting to sex, so she dominates or bullies her husband?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 10, 2016 1:26 PM GMT
    Sub-dom relationships are all about control; they have nothing to do with sex per se. If the bottom controls the top (e.g., "Fuck me when I tell you to fuck me"), then that scenario works as well. It is true, however, that in a typical sub-dom relationship, the top is usually the dom.
  • CarnalBeast

    Posts: 1

    Mar 11, 2016 3:39 PM GMT
    Dom bottom/Sub Top??

    Oh I get this. It makes a lot of sense when you break it down. In power based relationships, I have experienced that the sub or bottom is the one who has the power. If the Dom is going to get anywhere with the sub, this will need to be understood somewhere. The sub dances, sings and will manipulate the Dom to get what the sub wants. It is a unique game to be a part of.

    For ex: I recently did the bdsm online test - to see what would show up. I have been a Dom top and now I show up as a power bottom. So I redid the test with this in mind, paying attention to being 'prey'

    Yup, you can fuck me but I want you to take it and I want to fight you off, I will concede but only after I ware you out a bit. That's my new passion and it activates me beyond what I am used to. Considering this....

    Am I a Dom or a sub? Am I Preditor or prey?

    One would think, prey and bottom - but if I'm manipulating the test to appear as prey, that would make me a clever preditor. And I'm focused on a specific desire from a sub point of view - so who really will have the power? Me for setting up my desire to be played out or the Dom that enters the game and gives me what I want.

    I could be wrong but I have watched this for some time now - bots and subs have more power and if that is not realized by both D/s then there will be unhappiness in the connection.
  • Ariodante83

    Posts: 152

    Mar 22, 2016 7:00 AM GMT
    I actually have this type of dynamic with my best FWB, and it's worked great for us for the last couple of years. He kind of just lays there while I pin him down, suck him off and then ride him on top of him while doing all the work icon_biggrin.gif I'm kind of control freak.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2016 11:24 AM GMT
    Ariodante83 saidI actually have this type of dynamic with my best FWB, and it's worked great for us for the last couple of years. He kind of just lays there while I pin him down, suck him off and then ride him on top of him while doing all the work icon_biggrin.gif I'm kind of control freak.


    That's hot.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2016 1:25 PM GMT
    Gay men just love to mimic heterosexual roles. In fact, it seems to be an outright need for many. All these couples that participate in these sick power struggles are mentally ill. Only a very insecure person has the desire to control another human being. That's one of the reasons I laugh when I see some queen wearing those ridiculous black leather costumes and talking in that fake macho voice. A true loving relationship is based on equality and interdependence.....not dependency.