Love/Sex?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2016 9:07 PM GMT
    Is it possible to love someone and be in a relationship without having sex?

    Could you be happy in your relationship without sex, the attraction is there and you love him but you're just not sexually attracted to him but you enjoy being with him and around him but you just don't feel the need to have sex with him.

    Could a relationship work without the sexual attraction and just be based on genuine honest feelings for each other?

    I hope this makes sense, would love to hear what you guys think, and what do you think makes a good/lasting relationship?
  • adanac

    Posts: 7

    Mar 17, 2016 9:10 PM GMT
    Sounds more like friendship to me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2016 9:21 PM GMT
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Platonic_love
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4434

    Mar 17, 2016 10:12 PM GMT
    I think there are infinite possibilities. If you love the guy and do NOT lust for other guys, you may just have a low sex drive. It won't kill you. But he had better be the same way. Sex is pretty powerful and a bit of madness comes over when in the throws of passion so if either of you gets that with others, but not each other, then I'd guess long term is dicey. But if you both are just cool guys, sure, it can work.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2016 10:43 PM GMT
    yes, i love/sex…. hahaha
  • Ariodante83

    Posts: 152

    Mar 17, 2016 10:49 PM GMT
    Nope.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2016 11:17 PM GMT
    theantijock%20engage%20stalker%20reducti

    For the sake of the fat ugly fucks, let's hope so. Or for anyone who ages past 70 for that matter. Or even any good looking, hot bodied youth. Yes.

    Lucking into the total package is great, of course, but that doesn't always happen. So you might wind up with two tops or two bottoms or two sideways who might be attracted to each other on the surface but not necessarily sexually compatible by preference. Or you might have no sexual attraction at all but be within the corresponding orientation. Or you might be two asexuals, neither into sex, or one might be sexual and the other asexual. Etc.

    Your heart will love who it loves. Your dick doesn't control that. Nor should you let it control your brain.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2016 12:40 AM GMT
    What is your idea of a relationship that works?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2016 1:18 AM GMT
    I've been in one of these relationships for 7 months now. It doesn't work. It creates resentment. For me it just feels like a friendship.

    Don't do it.
  • Ariodante83

    Posts: 152

    Mar 18, 2016 2:14 AM GMT
    swimmersf saidWhat is your idea of a relationship that works?


    Unlimited ATM privileges.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2016 2:32 AM GMT
    I love my husband unconditionally. If something were to happen that prevented him being able to have sex. We would find other ways to express our love for each other. I need him in my life more than I need sex. I love him more than I love sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2016 12:35 PM GMT
    If you asked people (gay and straight) who are in loving, long-term relationships, they might tell you that it's possible to have a sexless relationship. The caveat, however, is that more than likely those sexless relationships started as "sexful" relationships.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2016 1:53 PM GMT
    If you really are in love with your partner , then you should be able to go without sex . Cuddling is as satisfying to your brain that intercourse ..

  • mcbrion

    Posts: 305

    Mar 18, 2016 5:16 PM GMT
    snowcastle saidIs it possible to love someone and be in a relationship without having sex?

    Could you be happy in your relationship without sex, the attraction is there and you love him but you're just not sexually attracted to him but you enjoy being with him and around him but you just don't feel the need to have sex with him.

    Could a relationship work without the sexual attraction and just be based on genuine honest feelings for each other?

    I hope this makes sense, would love to hear what you guys think, and what do you think makes a good/lasting relationship?


    Do you only love him, but are not in love with him? Has it always been this way? And is this the first time this has happened?

    There is a condition called "a split" in psychological terms. It is a defense mechanism, designed to protect someone from being hurt. The person either seeks out someone whom they can love - but are not turned on to - in which case, they feel a sense of safety, because being both "in love" and "hot for him" makes them feel too vulnerable and they fear that. So the person picks this side of the love/desire equation as their way of being in a relationship.

    The other side of the "split" is to find someone they are wildly hot for, but in that scenario, the person feels quite insecure - and not "safe" - at all. This is in their mind, of course, but usually comes from witnessing it as a child viewing the parental relationship and drawing inaccurate conclusions ("love hurts, so I'll never fall all the way in love" or "you can't have both love and desire in the same person"), or some unconscious message along those lines.

    If this is a pattern, it might be that you suffer from this syndrome - which can be dealt with in therapy. Otherwise, you might have acquired a perspective on love that only admits to a partial enlightenment of what Love is, and will gain more understanding of a larger sense of what it can be over time.

    Ask your friends if they've noticed a pattern in the guys you have chosen in the past. Assuming they are mature, they might have noticed something that we, on the board, can only be guessing at.