Not attracted to my boyfriend anymore

  • Aidenz

    Posts: 46

    Mar 18, 2016 4:12 PM GMT
    I've been having relationship issues lately.Some of my friends and pretty much everywhere I look on the internet is saying I should end it, but that doesn't seem right or fair to him. I'd also feel bad about turning my back on someone who loves me unconditionally
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 871

    Mar 18, 2016 5:23 PM GMT
    Many relationships suffer from a wear and tear syndrome after a while. Add to it that there is a big age difference, his body image issues, his somewhat questionable attitude when you feel tired or when he is hurting your feelings, and you have a genuine issue here.

    In addition to all of this, you are financially dependent on this guy, too, which is a major issue, too.

    For whatever it may be worth, try talking to him again in a mature and factual way.

    Start preparing for the worst case scenario, too. Look for a better job, network, and try to achieve a degree of financial independence ASAP. This is a matter of the utmost importance to you personally, regardless of the status of your relationship.

    It is one thing to recognize that many people go through difficult stretches in life, and grow dependent on their significant others. And it is another thing to continue with the dependency without any viable plan to end it.

    Unless you start moving away from being financially dependent on your partner you will start feeling trapped in this relationship, and the things will spiral out of control which is the worst case scenario, under the circumstances.

    SC
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Mar 18, 2016 5:44 PM GMT
    RR is right. But I'd like to add a few harsh notes. If you truly have lost your feelings for him, staying just for financial reasons makes you a whore. On the other hand, all relationships have ups and downs both in bed and just in personal attraction. Pushing through a down period until things get better is judgement call but also part of what will ultimately cement the love in place.

    So what to do? It sounds like you think you could get back to a good place with him or might could. I'd suggest you two start working out together. Maybe you need a joint interest that is also some motivation for him to reform his eating habits and shape up.

    But if he's lost sexual interest, and you have, too, then probably it won't work. I've known sexless relationships that have worked for a couple but it sounds like that's not something you could accept. Nor should you if that's important to you.

    But staying just for a meal ticket isn't acceptable. You can talk about money and your lack thereof but these things have a way of working out when you have no choice.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2016 6:31 PM GMT
    ^^^ and staying with a child 30 years younger makes that old man a pedophile
  • ChicagoSteve

    Posts: 1272

    Mar 18, 2016 6:40 PM GMT
    Bonaparts said^^^ and staying with a child 30 years younger makes that old man a pedophile


    Oh, here we go again. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Mar 18, 2016 7:14 PM GMT
    ChicagoSteve said
    Bonaparts said^^^ and staying with a child 30 years younger makes that old man a pedophile


    Oh, here we go again. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Actually it's kind of funny because one of the OP's complaints was lack of sex. Bonaparte lives in a very base world so his point of view reflects it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2016 7:17 PM GMT
    Destinharbor said
    ChicagoSteve said
    Bonaparts said^^^ and staying with a child 30 years younger makes that old man a pedophile


    Oh, here we go again. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Actually it's kind of funny because one of the OP's complaints was lack of sex. Bonaparte lives in a very base world so his point of view reflects it.


    coming from a pedo that has no problems calling others whores icon_lol.gif
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Mar 18, 2016 7:19 PM GMT
    Bonaparts said
    Destinharbor said
    ChicagoSteve said
    Bonaparts said^^^ and staying with a child 30 years younger makes that old man a pedophile


    Oh, here we go again. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Actually it's kind of funny because one of the OP's complaints was lack of sex. Bonaparte lives in a very base world so his point of view reflects it.


    coming from a pedo that has no problems calling others whores icon_lol.gif

    Go peddle your diseased brain elsewhere.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Mar 18, 2016 10:09 PM GMT
    Um, I can't help but feel kind of cynical about this whole thing... like the OP has used this older guy for housing and financial assistance. It seems to me the OP is more worried about where he'll live and eat rather than the actual relationship itself. In reality, the OP probably wants it to end. He's not physically attracted to this 50-something year old BF, yet he cannt break it off because if he does he will have no where to live and prob can't even eat.

    OP, you're 21. Time to kinda grow up, get a decent paying job (or something) and make your own way in this life instead of relaying on some co-dependent grandpa to take care of you. You gave him an STD, you cant make any money...you're not even that good-looking.. Like what do u bring to the table? What do u have to offer? Besides being a mooch?
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Mar 19, 2016 1:43 AM GMT
    Import saidUm, I can't help but feel kind of cynical about this whole thing... like the OP has used this older guy for housing and financial assistance. It seems to me the OP is more worried about where he'll live and eat rather than the actual relationship itself. In reality, the OP probably wants it to end. He's not physically attracted to this 50-something year old BF, yet he cannt break it off because if he does he will have no where to live and prob can't even eat.

    OP, you're 21. Time to kinda grow up, get a decent paying job (or something) and make your own way in this life instead of relaying on some co-dependent grandpa to take care of you. You gave him an STD, you cant make any money...you're not even that good-looking.. Like what do u bring to the table? What do u have to offer? Besides being a mooch?


    ________________________________________________________________

    This may be difficult for the OP to hear, but it's spot on.
  • Aidenz

    Posts: 46

    Mar 19, 2016 2:36 AM GMT
    Import saidUm, I can't help but feel kind of cynical about this whole thing... like the OP has used this older guy for housing and financial assistance. It seems to me the OP is more worried about where he'll live and eat rather than the actual relationship itself. In reality, the OP probably wants it to end. He's not physically attracted to this 50-something year old BF, yet he cannt break it off because if he does he will have no where to live and prob can't even eat.

    OP, you're 21. Time to kinda grow up, get a decent paying job (or something) and make your own way in this life instead of relaying on some co-dependent grandpa to take care of you. You gave him an STD, you cant make any money...you're not even that good-looking.. Like what do u bring to the table? What do u have to offer? Besides being a mooch?



    Ok, you didn't have to add the part about not being good looking. That stung. And yes I can make money, but like most millenials at this point, I'll either have to share a small place with a lot of people or live with my parents. You made some good points but that last bit felt like you were trying to be hurtful.

    In any case I do care about him, I do feel weird about how passionate and expressive he is towards me. I've never felt the compulsion or the nerve to express myself like that to him or anyone so I never know what to do. I prefer the idea of talking it out with him, not trying to break up or anything. I'd hate it if he jumped to conclusions and took it like that, I feel like it would be hard to have an adult conversation if we get too emotional. I will own up to the fact that I gave him an std and cheated on him. I should be greatful that he loves me so unconditionally and what kind of person would I be to walk away from that. Thank you One4u2c and SilverRRCloud for your advice.Tuition is taken care of anyway, and i'll try to talk to him about this
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2016 3:31 AM GMT
    You didn't have to delete any of ur profile pics...

    Jus saying
  • Leftswiper

    Posts: 90

    Mar 19, 2016 6:25 AM GMT
    Import said...you're not even that good-looking.. Like what do u bring to the table?


    Your other points are fair, but that's unnecessary. If anything, OP looks better than you... and plenty of ugly guys are called good-looking here if they're seen as the victim, so it's totally irrelevant.
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    Mar 19, 2016 7:28 AM GMT
    Leftswiper said
    Import said...you're not even that good-looking.. Like what do u bring to the table?


    Your other points are fair, but that's unnecessary. If anything, OP looks better than you... and plenty of ugly guys are called good-looking here if they're seen as the victim, so it's totally irrelevant.


    Case in point

    3278725d048974d65c19a72651207889.jpg

    So ur criticizing him for doing exactly what u do..

    Anyways, ur not all that sweety
  • theonewhoknoc...

    Posts: 713

    Mar 19, 2016 7:53 AM GMT
    only on RJ is the hottest person on the thread called ugly by someone who looks like this:

    17da0016c3acd320565c63586264b76e.jpg

    physical insults have lost all meaning icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2016 8:17 AM GMT
    theonewhoknocks saidonly on RJ is the hottest person on the thread called ugly by someone who looks like this:

    17da0016c3acd320565c63586264b76e.jpg

    physical insults have lost all meaning icon_lol.gif


    He's really the hottest? Cus I can post 4 dudes in the past month I've physically met and we hit it off. I do alrite LOL

    Can I see your pics or will you hide behind a bunch of Instagram filters and Yaoi cartoon porn?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2016 8:24 AM GMT
    Yeah I think I'll survive icon_rolleyes.gif

    D1671A1D-2E8E-47BF-8C82-140650666267.png

    D1BFCAD1-8B85-4AC1-8ADF-3FE955AAF903.png

    C29D9C00-3395-4D4B-AEEB-A55BB0B4BDCA.png


    PS- I never called anyone ugly, what's his face accused me being racist to Asians (I'm currently dating 2 guys that are Asian) in another thread, I'm just pointing out he's not all that

    I can squat and deadlift more than u, so I don't even know why u bother posting on a site called "real jock" in the first place
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Mar 19, 2016 3:13 PM GMT
    Aidenz said
    Import saidUm, I can't help but feel kind of cynical about this whole thing... like the OP has used this older guy for housing and financial assistance. It seems to me the OP is more worried about where he'll live and eat rather than the actual relationship itself. In reality, the OP probably wants it to end. He's not physically attracted to this 50-something year old BF, yet he cannt break it off because if he does he will have no where to live and prob can't even eat.

    OP, you're 21. Time to kinda grow up, get a decent paying job (or something) and make your own way in this life instead of relaying on some co-dependent grandpa to take care of you. You gave him an STD, you cant make any money...you're not even that good-looking.. Like what do u bring to the table? What do u have to offer? Besides being a mooch?



    Ok, you didn't have to add the part about not being good looking. That stung. And yes I can make money, but like most millenials at this point, I'll either have to share a small place with a lot of people or live with my parents. You made some good points but that last bit felt like you were trying to be hurtful.

    In any case I do care about him, I do feel weird about how passionate and expressive he is towards me. I've never felt the compulsion or the nerve to express myself like that to him or anyone so I never know what to do. I prefer the idea of talking it out with him, not trying to break up or anything. I'd hate it if he jumped to conclusions and took it like that, I feel like it would be hard to have an adult conversation if we get too emotional. I will own up to the fact that I gave him an std and cheated on him. I should be greatful that he loves me so unconditionally and what kind of person would I be to walk away from that. Thank you One4u2c and SilverRRCloud for your advice.Tuition is taken care of anyway, and i'll try to talk to him about this


    Regardless, let us know when this relationship finally crashes and burns. .... You'll both survive somehow. Just try not to spread any more of your STDs to this guy...And stop taking his money and abusing his generosity. That's all.
  • Aidenz

    Posts: 46

    Mar 20, 2016 12:01 AM GMT
    Import said


    Regardless, let us know when this relationship finally crashes and burns. .... You'll both survive somehow. Just try not to spread any more of your STDs to this guy...And stop taking his money and abusing his generosity. That's all.


    You know what, I think I know when I'm dealing with a troll. In the future, please try to be less bitter
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Mar 20, 2016 1:37 AM GMT
    Aidenz said
    Import said


    Regardless, let us know when this relationship finally crashes and burns. .... You'll both survive somehow. Just try not to spread any more of your STDs to this guy...And stop taking his money and abusing his generosity. That's all.


    You know what, I think I know when I'm dealing with a troll. In the future, please try to be less bitter

    You're mad cuz im droppin some truth on u. icon_lol.gif


  • Mar 20, 2016 10:09 AM GMT
    I'm 19 and if I were attracted to a man 45 or 50 he wouldn't be a child molester because I wanted to Date him. If I were 15 it would be different. Once u r 18 u are an adult.
  • craycraydoesd...

    Posts: 596

    Mar 21, 2016 2:16 AM GMT
    Arbitrary rules are to legally limit pedophile tendencies. Informed consent doesn't suddenly happen on a guy's 18th birthday. To the rest of the world, a 50 year old "dating" a 18 year old is as fucked up as him "dating" a 17 year old.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2016 12:13 AM GMT
    Getting back on track:

    Aidenz: you shouldn't be basing your decision to stay in a relationship based on things like housing/food. Imagine you had inherited a ton of money, or won it in a lottery or something... would you still stay with this guy? It sounds like the only reason you're saying with him is to use him financially.

    You say you're not attracted to him anymore. Is there a specific reason for that? Has something changed about him? Did he gain fat or something? Is he working on losing that fat? You might regret ending it for purely physical reasons if you are still in love with him. Maybe he just needs some encouragement to workout or whatever.
  • Aidenz

    Posts: 46

    Mar 23, 2016 3:43 PM GMT
    jackedgamer saidGetting back on track:

    Aidenz: you shouldn't be basing your decision to stay in a relationship based on things like housing/food. Imagine you had inherited a ton of money, or won it in a lottery or something... would you still stay with this guy? It sounds like the only reason you're saying with him is to use him financially.

    You say you're not attracted to him anymore. Is there a specific reason for that? Has something changed about him? Did he gain fat or something? Is he working on losing that fat? You might regret ending it for purely physical reasons if you are still in love with him. Maybe he just needs some encouragement to workout or whatever.


    I'm doing better about money. I'm paying for the food now at least. Still I don't like that I'm not contributing financially. It is fairly frustrating that I can never get him to do things differently, especially when it comes to exercise or giving me space. He always has some excuse, complaint, or joke, it's hard to get him to take me seriously. It might just be that I haven't been feeling well too. He just doesn't take care of himself and his personality is sometimes too much. I often have trouble sleeping in the same bed with him; can never get into a comfortable position. I'm afraid of breaking his heart and losing his friendship. He's been very loving and caring and I'd feel guilty about breaking it off after all we've been through.
  • you_know_Its_...

    Posts: 260

    Mar 23, 2016 10:40 PM GMT
    Leftswiper said
    Import said...you're not even that good-looking.. Like what do u bring to the table?


    Your other points are fair, but that's unnecessary. If anything, OP looks better than you... and plenty of ugly guys are called good-looking here if they're seen as the victim, so it's totally irrelevant.


    Haha I agree w this