Racism on RJ

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2016 8:53 PM GMT
    Ha! Tricked ya bitch. Now read.

    So I'm in a relationship with the guy who is perfect in every way, shape and form. However there's one slight issue. Our personality differences........or similarities should I say. Basically, he's a bossy top....very dominant, in control and makes the decisions. However, I'm a bossy bottom who is also dominant, in control and I make my own decisions. I'm definitely not a pushover like some of you bottom bitches around here icon_lol.gif

    The crazy part is that I WANT a dominant guy like him because I want a guy who can stop the madness that I spew sometimes, and he basically put me in my place a couple of weeks ago and it REALLLLLY turned me on icon_twisted.gif I'm not used to that at all...I'd really like to be more submissive, but how do I become submissive and accepting to someone else being in control without there being any pushback on my end? And how do I let him lead without fully sacrificing who I am?

    Don't be a smartass either.


  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 901

    Mar 19, 2016 9:06 PM GMT
    You are in for a rough ride.

    You cannot really tolerate a dominant dude, and you won't stand a relationship with another submissive dude whom you can control. So, no matter how you turn, you always end up being somewhat unhappy.

    Grow a pair, and accept who you are! People come as they are. A dominant dude is a dominant dude. If you go for him, take him pretty much as he is, because it was your choice to go for a dominant guy. Respect your own choice.

    Other dudes out there do not make it a mission to make anyone particularly happy but themselves. That's why they seek compatible dudes. You are doing the same. So, brace for the impact.icon_lol.gif

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    Mar 19, 2016 11:40 PM GMT
    But why do u have to try and change who u are to accomodate his dominance? I mean...u said you're a bossy bottom....if your bf doesn't like bossy bottoms then oh well.... Guess you're not the guy for him? Like, why change being a bossy bottom if that's who u are?. I guess u could just like be more quiet and have less to saya nd just do what he says.
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    Mar 19, 2016 11:45 PM GMT
    Real talk: All of these "dominant tops" have severe self esteem issues. And they will eventually come out. When you really think about it....what kind of emotionally healthy person feels the need to be in control of another person? The insecure kind, that's what kind.

    Tread cautiously my friend.
  • Allen

    Posts: 341

    Mar 19, 2016 11:46 PM GMT
    You are the way you are. You can't change it. And nor should you.

    There are plenty of tops out there who like and appreciate aggressive and bossy bottoms.

    The guy's not for you. Have some physical fun if you want, but then move on.
  • Fireworkz

    Posts: 606

    Mar 20, 2016 2:01 PM GMT
    I don't see what the big deal is.
    Isn't the power struggle part of the fun?
    As long as he enjoys 'taming' you and you enjoy it too then there is no problem.

    If he expects you to just submit then it's not going to work.

    I think the key is for both of you to relax a little it's fun to be bossy but you don't need to be that every waking moment.

    Know what yourboundaries are. I'm an assertive guy and if I'm in a relationship with another assertive guy sometimes I let him lead because it's fun to be lead but there's a boundary where if I'm being controlled that doesn't work for me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2016 3:56 PM GMT
    opposites do attract.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2016 4:27 PM GMT
    He and I actually talked it out yesterday...he and I both agree to compromise because I explained my stance to him...he understands and said he actually likes that I'm headstrong...I'm happy that he's trying! ^_^