Relocating to more gay friendly area?

  • italiano027

    Posts: 79

    Mar 26, 2016 10:32 PM GMT
    Do you think it's foolish to move to a more gay friendly area where it's not as hard hard to meet people and some form of dating scene exists?

    I'm not having much luck in my area. I live in a small town in Connecticut and weather it's meeting other gay friends or dates,its like nearly impossible. In fact I have not much going for me period. No close friends as they have all relocated themselves, not a lot of opportunities and not much to do in order to meet people.

    So would it be stupid of me to move to a more gay friendly area? I can't help but feel that this is such a pretty and stupid reason to relocate lol
  • beaujangle

    Posts: 1701

    Mar 27, 2016 12:11 AM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    italiano027 saidDo you think it's foolish to move to a more gay friendly area where it's hard to meet people and the dating scene is like non existent?

    I'm not having much luck in my area. I live in a small town in Connecticut and weather it's meeting other gay friends or dates,its like nearly impossible.

    So would it be stupid of me to move to a more gay friendly area? I can't help but feel that this is such a pretty and stupid reason to relocate lol

    You're still under 30, so as long as you can get a job someplace else, there's no time like the present to give it a try.

    Oh, and despite what many here would have you believe, the entire USA is "gay friendly" - so if there's a place you are interested in, don't worry about it not being "gay friendly."



    That's interesting; the entire USA is gay friendly? What do you mean by that? Just curious.
  • Ariodante83

    Posts: 152

    Mar 27, 2016 4:16 AM GMT
    Being able to socialize with (relative) ease is important, but I wouldn't consider it top priority in reconsidering a relocation. If you're moving somewhere without any feasible job prospects just because it has a good "gay scene" you'll probably find it difficult just to subsist there.
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    Mar 27, 2016 4:34 AM GMT
    italiano027 said
    Do you think it's foolish to move to a more gay friendly area where it's hard to meet people and the dating scene is like non existent?

    I'm not having much luck in my area. I live in a small town in Connecticut and weather it's meeting other gay friends or dates,its like nearly impossible.

    So would it be stupid of me to move to a more gay friendly area? I can't help but feel that this is such a pretty and stupid reason to relocate lol

    Moving to a gay-friendly area is a factor to consider. Along with career opportunities, climate, cost of living, continued education if part of your plans, lots of other issues. Disregard any advice from southbeach1500, his goal here is to harm gay men.

    What are your education and career goals? That can help define any move you might consider. You must prioritize, especially at your young age. Gay dating may have to take a back seat for now. Or maybe you can have both. But your anchor must be career, unless you have a sizable independent income already.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Mar 27, 2016 6:44 AM GMT
    It always a good idea to live in a good, stimulating environment. Like most other people, the OP wants to enjoy his life, date, socialize, etc. His clock is ticking as fast as anybody else's, too.

    The other question is: can you afford to do it?

    Everyone can get over to West Hollywood, San Francisco, NYC, etc. Do you have marketable skills that will sustain you there? Or do you happen to have an independent income that grants you this freedom?

    SC
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    Mar 27, 2016 7:49 AM GMT
    italiano027 saidDo you think it's foolish to move to a more gay friendly area where it's hard to meet people and the dating scene is like non existent?

    I'm not having much luck in my area. I live in a small town in Connecticut and weather it's meeting other gay friends or dates,its like nearly impossible.

    So would it be stupid of me to move to a more gay friendly area? I can't help but feel that this is such a pretty and stupid reason to relocate lol

    Find a job first. Relocate for that job. Get settled in. Let the cock parade begin. icon_lol.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Mar 27, 2016 3:28 PM GMT
    There are several "Gay Friendly" neighborhoods here in New Orleans, LA, USA, home of Mardi Gras, Southern Decadence, Gay Easter parades, the French Quarter and other 24/7 Gay events.

    What is you education and marketable job skills?

    Compared to the northeast you will find the cost of living quite low and the winters a joke here in #NOLA.

    New Orleans has a large Italian population, if you are into your ethnic background.

    A cute boi such as you are will quickly make friends here.

    Come on down and check it out here!

    You wouldn't be the first Yankee Boi who came down here for a visit and never left icon_exclaim.gif





    icon_wink.gif
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    Mar 27, 2016 3:48 PM GMT
    you will find a gay bro area expensive and a tiny small area of town. Mostly now gay men are dispersed through out the city. Denver is gay friendly but some realjock members (who likely know what they are talking about) describe their big denver gay experience as catty. Always some small spot on the sun. My stock phrase is move to the largest city you can afford. Generally your life issues follow you no matter where you go. Regards.
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    Mar 27, 2016 4:43 PM GMT
    pellaz saidyou will find a gay bro area expensive and a tiny small area of town. Mostly now gay men are dispersed through out the city. Denver is gay friendly and some members describe their gay experience here as catty. My stock phrase is move to the largest city you can afford.

    Your advice applies well in many areas of the US. But not necessarily all.

    I'm a big fan of Wilton Manors, Florida, after moving here 9 years ago. Small place, the majority of the population is gay & lesbian. All of the City Commissioners including the Mayor are gay except 1, and he's very gay friendly. A friend of ours, I think he's actually a better gay advocate in some ways than a few of the Commissioners who are gay. Meaning the entire city leadership is gay or friendly, and a good number of the police. I call it "Gay Central" in South Florida.

    A small town, but in the middle of everything. We border Fort Lauderdale, a major Florida city. Miami and Miami Beach are about 30 miles away. Orlando and the theme parks are 200 miles to the north, and Key West 200 miles to the south. Both easy drives on major highways. The Atlantic beaches begin 2 miles away.

    I'm not sure I can count on both hands how many colleges we have within commuting distance. Our county (Broward) has 1.8 million residents, so there's hardly a service, and retail shopping, we don't have. And yet Wilton Manors itself has a suburban feel to it, small and cozy.

    I think it's a nice blend of small town living in big city surroundings. The main drawback for me is the area traffic. Especially during tourist season. But as a local you learn the tricks, and the best travel times, so I can usually avoid the congestion.

    I'm sure there are other parts of the US that offer the same advantages for gays.
  • italiano027

    Posts: 79

    Mar 27, 2016 11:53 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    italiano027 saidDo you think it's foolish to move to a more gay friendly area where it's hard to meet people and the dating scene is like non existent?

    I'm not having much luck in my area. I live in a small town in Connecticut and weather it's meeting other gay friends or dates,its like nearly impossible.

    So would it be stupid of me to move to a more gay friendly area? I can't help but feel that this is such a pretty and stupid reason to relocate lol

    You're still under 30, so as long as you can get a job someplace else, there's no time like the present to give it a try.

    Oh, and despite what many here would have you believe, the entire USA is "gay friendly" - so if there's a place you are interested in, don't worry about it not being "gay friendly."


    Well I know the country as a whole is gay friendly lol, u just meant a place where it is easier to meet gay people.
  • italiano027

    Posts: 79

    Mar 27, 2016 11:56 PM GMT
    Ariodante83 saidBeing able to socialize with (relative) ease is important, but I wouldn't consider it top priority in reconsidering a relocation. If you're moving somewhere without any feasible job prospects just because it has a good "gay scene" you'll probably find it difficult just to subsist there.


    Well obviously yes there a job Market, I wouldn't relocate without taking that into consideration.

    But at the same time being 26 and not having anyone or being able to meet anyone within a 50 mile radius is frustrating. Grabbing a cup of coffee is nearly impossible. Soni can stay here and be miserable or relocate.
  • italiano027

    Posts: 79

    Mar 28, 2016 12:01 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    italiano027 said
    Do you think it's foolish to move to a more gay friendly area where it's hard to meet people and the dating scene is like non existent?

    I'm not having much luck in my area. I live in a small town in Connecticut and weather it's meeting other gay friends or dates,its like nearly impossible.

    So would it be stupid of me to move to a more gay friendly area? I can't help but feel that this is such a pretty and stupid reason to relocate lol

    Moving to a gay-friendly area is a factor to consider. Along with career opportunities, climate, cost of living, continued education if part of your plans, lots of other issues. Disregard any advice from southbeach1500, his goal here is to harm gay men.

    What are your education and career goals? That can help define any move you might consider. You must prioritize, especially at your young age. Gay dating may have to take a back seat for now. Or maybe you can have both. But your anchor must be career, unless you have a sizable independent income already.


    OK just to be clear I have a college degree and am planning to go back to school to further my education to get ahead.. Where I relocate I plan to bartend during school as it will give me flexibility with school.

    I'm not moving to to be a slut and party and sleep around like many here seem to think..but being 26 and having literally Noone! Not even any close friends here, no job growth where I am at, no dates... nothing, I'm at the point where I am ready to make a change. I figured now is the time to do it.
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    Mar 28, 2016 4:20 AM GMT
    YOu haven't said why you are living where you are, but it looks like it is only about 30 miles to Hartford. Is there a gay population in Hartford?

    If you are going back to school, go wherever the education is that you want, and then after school, get your career started in a more gay friendly area. In the meantime, take some trips to gay areas and have some fun, so your life is not totally void of gayness.
  • Relajado

    Posts: 409

    Mar 28, 2016 6:55 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    italiano027 saidDo you think it's foolish to move to a more gay friendly area where it's hard to meet people and the dating scene is like non existent?

    I'm not having much luck in my area. I live in a small town in Connecticut and weather it's meeting other gay friends or dates,its like nearly impossible.

    So would it be stupid of me to move to a more gay friendly area? I can't help but feel that this is such a pretty and stupid reason to relocate lol

    You're still under 30, so as long as you can get a job someplace else, there's no time like the present to give it a try.

    Oh, and despite what many here would have you believe, the entire USA is "gay friendly" - so if there's a place you are interested in, don't worry about it not being "gay friendly."


    Lol wrong.

    Veery religious and with a LOT of antigay bigots running about in places soo...
  • leanandclean

    Posts: 270

    Mar 28, 2016 9:48 PM GMT
    Not stupid, go for it.
  • NorthFl

    Posts: 98

    Mar 29, 2016 1:21 AM GMT
    St Petersburg Fl, not too big, not to small, "winter" is only 2 weeks long. Beach year round..... Large gay community, one of the largest pride parade attendance..... (Not sure if that's true but that's what they boast)
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    Mar 29, 2016 2:52 AM GMT
    I grew up in MASS and my advice is to stay in CT and develop a gay social network from there...especially if you already have family and friends whom you cherish. If you're willing to drive an hour, there are tons of guys from OK Cupid or other sites you can meet.

    I moved to SF and then LA. Nice to visit and lots of guys, but living there got old quickly. I'm pretty conservative about relationships....and most guys I met were not into monogamous relationships....more into promiscuity, drugs and just wanting to meet the newest hot guy. Many friends were fair weather types, and didn't have the depth or substance of the friends I had back in MA.

    So I moved back to MA. Family and friends I grew up with are the best. But I know what you mean....seems I'll go weeks without seeing a gay guy out at the store....so I have to make the effort, join meetup, etc. Build on the life you've already got.
  • italiano027

    Posts: 79

    Mar 29, 2016 6:22 AM GMT
    italiano027 said
    S2Ki saidI grew up in MASS and my advice is to stay in CT and develop a gay social network from there...especially if you already have family and friends whom you cherish. If you're willing to drive an hour, there are tons of guys from OK Cupid or other sites you can meet.

    I moved to SF and then LA. Nice to visit and lots of guys, but living there got old quickly. I'm pretty conservative about relationships....and most guys I met were not into monogamous relationships....more into promiscuity, drugs and just wanting to meet the newest hot guy. Many friends were fair weather types, and didn't have the depth or substance of the friends I had back in MA.

    So I moved back to MA. Family and friends I grew up with are the best. But I know what you mean....seems I'll go weeks without seeing a gay guy out at the store....so I have to make the effort, join meetup, etc. Build on the life you've already got.


    That's the thing, unlike you with Mass, I don't have much going for me in CT. Have lot of family here but not real close with all of them and I don't really have any friend network or anything like that here. My couple close friends moved to different states so there really is nothing here for me that I care about leaving behind.
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    Mar 29, 2016 12:31 PM GMT
    Trust your instincts. Read and re-read the last sentence of your post, and there lies the answer.
  • mcbrion

    Posts: 305

    Mar 29, 2016 3:24 PM GMT
    italiano027 saidDo you think it's foolish to move to a more gay friendly area where it's hard to meet people and the dating scene is like non existent?

    I'm not having much luck in my area. I live in a small town in Connecticut and weather it's meeting other gay friends or dates,its like nearly impossible.

    So would it be stupid of me to move to a more gay friendly area? I can't help but feel that this is such a pretty and stupid reason to relocate lol


    I am also in Connecticut, and moved here after 30 years in San Francisco. Since I was born and lived in CT until I was 19, I've observed some things since I moved back here 14 years ago.

    1) New Englanders in general are less outgoing than people from other parts of the country. There is a tendency to not be curious about other people, so the gay community is not going to be different than that.
    2) In areas where the weather is warm half the year and cold the other half, people literally "come out" of themselves as it warms up, but retreat "inside themselves" as it gets cooler as they are focused on avoiding the cooler weather. So, the easiest time to meet people is in warmer weather (plus the fact that people appear to be affected by SAD syndrome: less sun/more melancholy the people are).
    BUT. Even San Francisco, for example, has changed, according the guys I know who are still there, including some native San Franciscans. Less friendly (compared to the '70s, when guys would smile at you just walking down the street) and, as technology and smartphones have become omnipresent, people literally pay no attention to other people walking down the street. I would expect that to be the case no matter where you go, so consider that.
    The South is overall, a friendlier place, because the customs are still in place and people still greet each other more than in other areas of the country.
    Meeting people has now become more of a where-you-hang-out thing than it used to be. Gay social groups might be easier places to meet people in Connecticut. But I know what you mean. The other thing is: your own energy will attract people to you. If you're shut down, don't smile and don't allow others to catch your eye, you are signaling - body language wise - that you are not open to social discourse. So consider that as well.
    Good luck!
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    Mar 29, 2016 4:48 PM GMT
    I think you just need to move to a bigger city, not necessarily a gayborhood. Gayborhoods are like cult compounds, and gays are even leaving them in droves. I bet you will meet more mentally-stable gays in a gentrified area of a big city than you would in an actual gayborhood.
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    Mar 29, 2016 10:23 PM GMT
    italiano027 said
    S2Ki saidI grew up in MASS and my advice is to stay in CT and develop a gay social network from there...especially if you already have family and friends whom you cherish. If you're willing to drive an hour, there are tons of guys from OK Cupid or other sites you can meet.

    I moved to SF and then LA. Nice to visit and lots of guys, but living there got old quickly. I'm pretty conservative about relationships....and most guys I met were not into monogamous relationships....more into promiscuity, drugs and just wanting to meet the newest hot guy. Many friends were fair weather types, and didn't have the depth or substance of the friends I had back in MA.

    So I moved back to MA. Family and friends I grew up with are the best. But I know what you mean....seems I'll go weeks without seeing a gay guy out at the store....so I have to make the effort, join meetup, etc. Build on the life you've already got.


    That's the thing, unlike you with Mass, I don't have much going for me in CT. Have lot of family here but not real close with all of them and I don't really have any friend network or anything like that here. My couple close friends moved to different states so there really is nothing here for me that I care about leaving behind.


    You're fortunate that you have several cities within about 100 miles that have a larger dating pool. A gallup poll ranked Boston and Hartford in the top 10 most gay in America. I also lived in NYC for a year, and gay guys everywhere. Providence, RI is more laidback, but fun and artsy and an active gay community. Further away, West Palm, Ft. Lauderdale, Miami, etc. have many transplanted New Englanders, and endless summer and gay beaches, but harder to find a good job. And Ptown might offer a summertime gig, but pretty dead in the winter.

    If you decide to stay...as a fellow New Englander who is also single in the suburbs....I'd say we have to make an extra effort to meet guys, but the flip side is that maybe those guys are more motivated to keep a friendship or relationship.
  • italiano027

    Posts: 79

    Mar 30, 2016 4:38 PM GMT
    S2Ki saidI grew up in MASS and my advice is to stay in CT and develop a gay social network from there...especially if you already have family and friends whom you cherish. If you're willing to drive an hour, there are tons of guys from OK Cupid or other sites you can meet.

    I moved to SF and then LA. Nice to visit and lots of guys, but living there got old quickly. I'm pretty conservative about relationships....and most guys I met were not into monogamous relationships....more into promiscuity, drugs and just wanting to meet the newest hot guy. Many friends were fair weather types, and didn't have the depth or substance of the friends I had back in MA.

    So I moved back to MA. Family and friends I grew up with are the best. But I know what you mean....seems I'll go weeks without seeing a gay guy out at the store....so I have to make the effort, join meetup, etc. Build on the life you've already got.


    I've tried all that if you read my full post with no luck which is why I'm looking to relocate... It's very frustrating not having anyone or anything going for you.
  • italiano027

    Posts: 79

    Mar 30, 2016 4:39 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidTrust your instincts. Read and re-read the last sentence of your post, and there lies the answer.


    Which post? I've made a couple on this thread
  • italiano027

    Posts: 79

    Mar 30, 2016 4:46 PM GMT
    CODY4U saidI think you just need to move to a bigger city, not necessarily a gayborhood. Gayborhoods are like cult compounds, and gays are even leaving them in droves. I bet you will meet more mentally-stable gays in a gentrified area of a big city than you would in an actual gayborhood.


    Yeah I didn't mean to. Move to a "gayborhood" like the bay area in San Francisco for instance.. I just meant a less reserved area or urban area where there's more to offer and easier to meet people