Let's Talk About Self Control, and Self Respect

  • bradleyDean

    Posts: 10

    Mar 28, 2016 7:42 AM GMT
    So here lately I've been letting myself go, partly from depression, but otherwise as a self made experiment. When I'm not thinking health, I become more deeply deposed, which makes me think about unhealthy habits. When I'm thinking health, I'm happy and motivated. I find that things are cleaner in my life, I'm in better moods, and I'm more sociable. So lets talk about it, how do you amazing guys feel when you are thinking healthy? Do you get those amazing results along with that beautiful body?icon_biggrin.gif
  • Ariodante83

    Posts: 152

    Mar 28, 2016 7:47 AM GMT
    Complete opposite for me. When I'm depressed/hopeless/anxious I become obsessive about controlling my eating and exercising habits (because I feel I have no control over anything else in my life). When I'm happy I eat a bunch of shit and lax on the working out.
  • bradleyDean

    Posts: 10

    Mar 28, 2016 8:19 AM GMT
    Ariodante83 saidComplete opposite for me. When I'm depressed/hopeless/anxious I become obsessive about controlling my eating and exercising habits (because I feel I have no control over anything else in my life). When I'm happy I eat a bunch of shit and lax on the working out.


    That's amazing. I love hearing about how we are all affected differently. I guess the more important question is self respect. How do you feel about yourself when everything else is slipping? Sounds like you have a good way of managing self control, one way out the other. icon_smile.gif
  • tbandj

    Posts: 5

    Mar 28, 2016 12:49 PM GMT
    bradleyDean saidSo here lately I've been letting myself go, partly from depression, but otherwise as a self made experiment. When I'm not thinking health, I become more deeply deposed, which makes me think about unhealthy habits. When I'm thinking health, I'm happy and motivated. I find that things are cleaner in my life, I'm in better moods, and I'm more sociable. So lets talk about it, how do you amazing guys feel when you are thinking healthy? Do you get those amazing results along with that beautiful body?icon_biggrin.gif


    I feel like we're in the same boat. When I'm thinking about my health, I'm usually a lot happier and motivated. It's when things aren't going right that my self-control kind of falls to the side and I use excuses to justify eating more of crap I usually wouldn't. I usually find that when I'm not in a great mood, my workouts sometimes don't feel as fulfilling either.

    I'm not sure if I would call my results amazing. I've definitely gained some muscle and confidence, but I'm still a work in progress and have a long way to go.
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    Mar 28, 2016 3:12 PM GMT
    theantijock%20engage%20stalker%20reducti

    Thinking about health can help pull me out of a rut but I've not known not thinking about health to put me into one because when I'm feeling good about my life I naturally maintain health well without even thinking about it.

    Getting healthy can be a motivating factor for me once something has thrown me off balance, but being healthy itself is my natural state when homeostasis has been maintained physically and mentally.

    Sometimes a physical thing might throw me off like that construction accident which put me in the hospital for a few weeks. Or ageing. But--at least with the accident--I learned to get back most of my body function while avoiding surgery and I've learned to be happy without horseback riding, without ice skating, without those types of riskier behavior that I once found so very fun. With ageing, though, I'm still figuring that out.

    A psychological thing that throws me derives mostly from my attachments, odd for a lifelong student of Buddhism, but there you have it. Not an attachment to things--I've lost more money than most people on the planet make, that doesn't phase me though it probably should--but to bury my pet parakeet in a shoebox destroys me utterly. I attach not to things in life but to life itself--not to my own, I'm cool with my own death, but to the connection with the life of others--so deeply that my life becomes very difficult for me to live when I lose one.

    So I was about the worst candidate to wind up widowed twice.

    Inevitably I try to solve that problem with chocolate. And then I have to remember my health. That I'm still here, that I still count and that I have to figure out how to live without the lives that brought me such joy to be alive.

    Because in the end, chocolate is not a very satisfying substitute for happiness, but, rather just a temporary fix paid for in fat.
  • Ariodante83

    Posts: 152

    Mar 28, 2016 11:35 PM GMT
    bradleyDean said How do you feel about yourself when everything else is slipping?


    Oh I always think I'm awesome. It's the world that's too damn stupid sometimes to realize it icon_mad.gif

  • Apr 01, 2016 1:39 AM GMT
    i actually don't feel well when I eat garbage. diabetes runs in my family so i fear that eating junk food could make me become a diabetic too.
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    Apr 01, 2016 2:04 AM GMT
    Ariodante83 saidComplete opposite for me. When I'm depressed/hopeless/anxious I become obsessive about controlling my eating and exercising habits (because I feel I have no control over anything else in my life). When I'm happy I eat a bunch of shit and lax on the working out.


    Then you must be depressed/hopeless/anxious regularly looking at your pics! I'm sorry!

    Seriously, I tend to be like the OP, I give up, but I think it's more from frustration and boredom than anything related to depression.
  • Ariodante83

    Posts: 152

    Apr 01, 2016 4:30 AM GMT
    eb925guy said
    Ariodante83 saidComplete opposite for me. When I'm depressed/hopeless/anxious I become obsessive about controlling my eating and exercising habits (because I feel I have no control over anything else in my life). When I'm happy I eat a bunch of shit and lax on the working out.


    Then you must be depressed/hopeless/anxious regularly


    kinda yeah...I'm not a particularly happy or centered individual icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 01, 2016 4:37 AM GMT
    one4u2c saidI am the opposite. I am most happiest when I am fasting. But I can't fast forever.



    You fast on Krispy Kreme? icon_eek.gif
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    Apr 01, 2016 7:52 AM GMT
    tbandj said
    I feel like we're in the same boat. When I'm thinking about my health, I'm usually a lot happier and motivated. It's when things aren't going right that my self-control kind of falls to the side and I use excuses to justify eating more of crap I usually wouldn't. I usually find that when I'm not in a great mood, my workouts sometimes don't feel as fulfilling either.

    I'm not sure if I would call my results amazing. I've definitely gained some muscle and confidence, but I'm still a work in progress and have a long way to go.


    That's interesting. I been actually going thru things too. I wouldn't say I'm "depressed", but sometimes I feel bipolar. My mood can literally change in a matter of hours. But at the same time, I think in general I'm just irritated and annoyed and just so over the "gay way"...and I find moments of happiness and contentment here and there, but the general "mode" is one where I'm not happy where I live, not happy in the city I live (I just moved three months ago from a city I was unhappy with for 5 years)...just overall there's so much stuff I just can't deal with.

    I recently went to church with my family and even though I don't go often, it did help kinda refresh my spirit...but at 28, still single, nobody special to go to movies with, wondering if I'll ever get married or find someone truly compatible with, constantly having relationships that go nowhere and intermittent financial worries..many times it's hard for me to even get out of bed. As grateful as I know I should be to wake up in the morning...I won't lie and say sometimes I feel the only time I'm at peace is when I'm sleep...and even then some dreams I have are just fucked up. And the gym. When I'm at the gym, all those endorphins start flowing and for an hour or 2, zoned out in the music and my workout...it's like my mind lets go completely.

    That said....it doesn't affect my workouts or eating habits. I workout because that's my money. I have to stay in shape for what I do. And if I can get hella money for working out every week...I'll stick with it. Fuck all these guys who don't want to be with me. They not paying shit. I have to do me. I have to live my life regardless. But I have noticed many guys who workout regularly tend to have a girlfriend or whatever on the side. It's like single gay men don't even try to put the effort into taking care of themselves. They just wreck it with sex, alcohol and partying. It's pretty fucking sad.

    The only "bad" indulgent things I tend to do is drink everyday...and sometimes when I'm really stressed I have a hard time concentrating on school work and bills. Sometimes I become so fixated on my situation that I just don't feel like doing anything else. but I usually get over it after a day or a few hours,