Gay Martial-Arts Instructor

  • RogerKites

    Posts: 8

    Mar 29, 2016 11:15 AM GMT
    How many of you are Club owners and are Gay or Bisexual ?

    Martial-Arts is more of a straight man’s activity as I am told. I am a Karate (Budokan) & Taekwondo (WTF) Black-belt running a couple of clubs in Mumbai, India. Also trained in Judo and Ju-jitsu. I have some extremely hot, irresistible Teen to Young males training under me. Sometimes, I have very strong urge towards them. But then I talk to myself that these students idolize the tutors and it would break their hearts if they discover that their instructor is gay icon_cry.gif. Also, I tell myself that keep desires under control as this place is only for martial-arts.
    What is your experience and how do you deal with it ? icon_idea.gif
  • mitshoo

    Posts: 76

    Apr 08, 2016 4:04 AM GMT
    That's two separate questions. One is if you should pursue your students, and second if you should be open with them about your sexuality. I'm not a martial arts instructor but I think that pursuing your students would be rather innapropriate. That said, on the second question, it's really answered by a question: How safe is it to come out? I mean that in a physical sense, of "How safe is your area?" I don't know enough about Mumbai, but I bet you do. If it's a place where you won't be targeted by greater society, I would come out. You say it would "break their hearts", but that seems a little extreme. I won't say they won't think of you differently, because they very well might, but that doesn't mean they will for sure stop respecting you. If they respected you for your knowledge and skill at martial arts, then they should continue to do so if you have proven yourself. All you would do is show gays can do martial arts successfully too. It might shock them, but it could also be a great experience for them to realize what a real gay person is, rather than what they have been told or heard of. And who knows? Maybe one of them is gay and needs a gay hero. That is the opposite of breaking their hearts.
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    Apr 12, 2016 1:02 PM GMT
    I'm a martial arts BB but not a dojo/dojang owner. However, I am of the opinion that my master's/instructor's sexual preference is not relevant to my training and my perception of him. If he's good in what he does, that's all that should matter. Pedophilia, however, is an entirely different story.
  • giodude

    Posts: 313

    Apr 22, 2016 1:07 PM GMT
    Don't pursue your students, ever.
    You're an authority figure, so you will always have some power over them. Other than that it's unethical and morally reprehensible for an older man to be pursuing underage boys. Don't go down that road.

    But I don't think your sexual orientation should matter. They're there to learn a martial art not befriend you. Of course martial artists build close bonds, and if those bonds are close enough it won't matter. And if someone is wiling to quit a martial art due to the sexual orientation of their instructor one must wonder about the dedication and respect that student really had for the martial art to begin with