"Sorry, not my type" response

  • italiano027

    Posts: 79

    Apr 02, 2016 4:40 PM GMT
    Maybe it's just me but do any of you find whether it's on here or on sites like tindr or grindr that all you ever get as a response from people is "not my type."

    Like no matter who I message regardless of their stats interests or whatever, unless theyre like a desperate older guy all I'm ever told is I'm not their type and I'm turned down.

    Either I'm hideous or all these guys are picky and Spoiled and want some Calvin Klein magazine model to crawl out of the woodwork lol.
  • craycraydoesd...

    Posts: 596

    Apr 02, 2016 4:57 PM GMT
    italiano027 saidMaybe it's just me but do any of you find whether it's on here or on sites like tindr or grindr that all you ever get as a response from people is "not my type."

    Like no matter who I message regardless of their stats interests or whatever, unless theyre like a desperate older guy all I'm ever told is I'm not their type and I'm turned down.

    Either I'm hideous or all these guys are picky and Spoiled and want some Calvin Klein magazine model to crawl out of the woodwork lol.


    DATS AGEIST! icon_evil.gif
  • nice_chap

    Posts: 281

    Apr 02, 2016 5:24 PM GMT
    You're getting turned down with a smile like that? Fuck.

    If I'm not someone's type, that's fine, but I think it's kind of arrogant when they include a "sorry" in their rejection.
  • TroyAthlete

    Posts: 4269

    Apr 02, 2016 5:24 PM GMT
    No, not really. *shrug*
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 803

    Apr 02, 2016 6:55 PM GMT
    "'Sorry, not my type' response"

    I've heard this and variations on the theme all of my life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2016 8:03 PM GMT
    Men are visual at first. In my experience, online sites cater to visualization only really. So the more photogenic you (and your body) are, the more in demand you'll be. It doesn't matter what you have in common or how awesome a guy you are. Online is one dimensional at best. I've noticed that the more defined my body got, the more responses I get even though my profile text stayed the same.

    So your better options are to go to a gay bar and then put your grindr/scruff on. That way guys can see you are close and see you in person and decide if they want to talk, hangout, hookup.
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    Apr 02, 2016 8:29 PM GMT
    italiano027 saidMaybe it's just me but do any of you find whether it's on here or on sites like tindr or grindr that all you ever get as a response from people is "not my type."

    Like no matter who I message regardless of their stats interests or whatever, unless theyre like a desperate older guy all I'm ever told is I'm not their type and I'm turned down.

    Either I'm hideous or all these guys are picky and Spoiled and want some Calvin Klein magazine model to crawl out of the woodwork lol.


    There's an easy solution to this, though it's going to sound kinda prudish: Stop hitting guys up online first. That's what I had to do. Let them (or some other guy) message you first.

    I usually let guys hit me up online first. However, in person I usually try to talk to them first. Why? Because Black gay men don't get approached as often in person as they would online. BUT...when I'm at a bar, I still have to wait for a guy to look at me with googly eyes first. If they don't look at me with googly eyes...I don't approach. Because that's akin to hitting someone up online.I've tested that 100 million times. I never approach a guy who doesn't look at me when they walk past because they won't be interested.

    The problem with online is, unless you can see who looked at you, you have no idea if they looked at you first. So you can waste an entire lifetime messaging guys who never looked at you because they weren't interested to begin with.

    It also sounds like you're blindly messaging guys "regardless of their stats, interest or whatever". Don't do that. To me you're playing a numbers game. And that will show if you're just messaging guys like, "hi." sup? hello? are you there? Some of these guys all know each other. Find someone, read their profiles, make sure it doesn't say, "only into Black guys, no whites". Because you live in Connecticut...most guys probably into Black or Puerto Rican up there. That said, you're kinda cute so I'd holla.



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    Apr 02, 2016 8:34 PM GMT
    woodfordr said
    So your better options are to go to a gay bar and then put your grindr/scruff on. That way guys can see you are close and see you in person and decide if they want to talk, hangout, hookup.


    OK...I actually had better look having my grindr on at home depot in South Miami than in gay bar. I seen a guy at home depot when I was in Miami...and he hit me up on grindr! I was like wow...my gaydar is really strong. I can tell a gay man from a mile away I swear.

    That said...sorry but going to a gay bar and turning your grindr on just doesn't work as well. People aren't going to notice you because there's 50 million guys in the bar, and 50 million guys on grindr. Most of the time...the guys on grindr are at home because they're not into the gay bars. So, it's kinda pointless.
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    Apr 02, 2016 9:35 PM GMT
    italiano027 saidMaybe it's just me but do any of you find whether it's on here or on sites like tindr or grindr that all you ever get as a response from people is "not my type."

    Like no matter who I message regardless of their stats interests or whatever, unless theyre like a desperate older guy all I'm ever told is I'm not their type and I'm turned down.

    Either I'm hideous or all these guys are picky and Spoiled and want some Calvin Klein magazine model to crawl out of the woodwork lol.


    I never had a problem with that. Being rejected is part of the "game" and getting a "not my type" response is better than not getting a response at all.

    Having a type is okay. For instance you yourself said something about "desperate older guy". I'm guessing you would be the one saying "sorry, not my type" in that case.

    Also, weren't those guys you got rejected by actually the Calvin Klein models you talked about? I mean, it's smart to know which guys are out of your league. Let's be honest, the gay thing is all about looks.
  • italiano027

    Posts: 79

    Apr 02, 2016 9:39 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs28 said
    italiano027 saidMaybe it's just me but do any of you find whether it's on here or on sites like tindr or grindr that all you ever get as a response from people is "not my type."

    Like no matter who I message regardless of their stats interests or whatever, unless theyre like a desperate older guy all I'm ever told is I'm not their type and I'm turned down.

    Either I'm hideous or all these guys are picky and Spoiled and want some Calvin Klein magazine model to crawl out of the woodwork lol.


    There's an easy solution to this, though it's going to sound kinda prudish: Stop hitting guys up online first. That's what I had to do. Let them (or some other guy) message you first.

    I usually let guys hit me up online first. However, in person I usually try to talk to them first. Why? Because Black gay men don't get approached as often in person as they would online. BUT...when I'm at a bar, I still have to wait for a guy to look at me with googly eyes first. If they don't look at me with googly eyes...I don't approach. Because that's akin to hitting someone up online.I've tested that 100 million times. I never approach a guy who doesn't look at me when they walk past because they won't be interested.

    The problem with online is, unless you can see who looked at you, you have no idea if they looked at you first. So you can waste an entire lifetime messaging guys who never looked at you because they weren't interested to begin with.

    It also sounds like you're blindly messaging guys "regardless of their stats, interest or whatever". Don't do that. To me you're playing a numbers game. And that will show if you're just messaging guys like, "hi." sup? hello? are you there? Some of these guys all know each other. Find someone, read their profiles, make sure it doesn't say, "only into Black guys, no whites". Because you live in Connecticut...most guys probably into Black or Puerto Rican up there. That said, you're kinda cute so I'd holla.





    It's not a numbers game I'm just open and do not have a preference for race, interests, height, things like that.

    And no most are into white up here believe it or not lol. I've had issues where people think I was Hispanic and not interested which is why I now put my nationality as my username Haha.
  • italiano027

    Posts: 79

    Apr 02, 2016 9:43 PM GMT
    eipoika said
    italiano027 saidMaybe it's just me but do any of you find whether it's on here or on sites like tindr or grindr that all you ever get as a response from people is "not my type."

    Like no matter who I message regardless of their stats interests or whatever, unless theyre like a desperate older guy all I'm ever told is I'm not their type and I'm turned down.

    Either I'm hideous or all these guys are picky and Spoiled and want some Calvin Klein magazine model to crawl out of the woodwork lol.


    I never had a problem with that. Being rejected is part of the "game" and getting a "not my type" response is better than not getting a response at all.

    Having a type is okay. For instance you yourself said something about "desperate older guy". I'm guessing you would be the one saying "sorry, not my type" in that case.

    Also, weren't those guys you got rejected by actually the Calvin Klein models you talked about? I mean, it's smart to know which guys are out of your league. Let's be honest, the gay thing is all about looks.


    No, they were just your average Joe which is why I message them because they seemed down to earth lol
  • ASHDOD

    Posts: 1057

    Apr 02, 2016 10:13 PM GMT
    so ,whats the better response when you dont like a guy?
  • jeepguySD

    Posts: 651

    Apr 03, 2016 12:03 AM GMT
    Most often -- including here on RJ -- I just get ignored, with no response at all. I think this is tantamount to saying "sorry, not my type."

    I try not to take it personally because attraction is purely subjective, and some amount of attraction is necessary in order to pursue someone. I do not find everyone attractive, and I do not expect everyone to find me attractive, and based on experience, very few do.
  • tbandj

    Posts: 5

    Apr 03, 2016 12:35 AM GMT
    Like someone else mentioned before, let the people message you first. When I first joined an app, I was really afraid to message anyone at the chance of getting turned down, so my theory was to let them come to me. After speaking for a while, some people were not my type, and the same went for me with them.

    You're not going to be everyone's type. That's a given. And I dunno, I really had to work on being fine by myself before involving someone else, even for friends, hooking up, or going on dates. I really think that's the only personal advice I'd feel comfortable offering you.

    But you're definitely a handsome dude. Hope things start going the way you'd prefer.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3529

    Apr 03, 2016 12:37 AM GMT
    write a background that is 7 or 8 pages long. you will get responses good or bad, but they will be getting back to you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 03, 2016 1:00 AM GMT
    italiano027 said
    It's not a numbers game I'm just open and do not have a preference for race, interests, height, things like that.

    And no most are into white up here believe it or not lol. I've had issues where people think I was Hispanic and not interested which is why I now put my nationality as my username Haha.


    Ah okay, that makes sense. By the way, didn't mean to imply you were playing a numbers game, but it kinda sounds like it. But it's not just you, many guys swipe thru grinder like a numbers game. If you're getting guys always saying not my type, you may not be taking the time to assess what kinds of person would be their type based on their profile.

    As been said since the dawn of age, these apps are pretty bad for the human race. One of the "selling points" for some app which i can't recall...was, "swipe thru millions of profiles daily!"

    I Also feel saying "you're not my type" is an conceited way to blow someone off. Next time that happens, say: "Did I ask yo fucking ass if i was your type bitch?" no, i just said hi how's you're day you stuck up piece of shit lol No response is a response. And the only time a guy should say that is if a person repeatedly contact more than once when they haven't responded. Which you should never do.
  • Silverlakr

    Posts: 31

    Apr 03, 2016 1:19 AM GMT
    Dynamo_spark saidIt is a viscious circle. A lot of Gay men will continuously look for 'The perfect man'. Always being afraid of commitment and settling down. A one-night-stand, is just that, then the next night it's back to loneliness. What does it mean, "You're not my type"? We are all men with needs we all have dicks. The bottom line is, let's say you fall in love with 'Mr Big Dick Macho, cover model' and later he gets older, more wrinkled or maybe ends up in an automobile accident becoming disfigured. Well, then you say, "Sorry lover, not my type anymore." It is a Psychological fact that because Gay men cruise, instead of choosing a partner, will eventually grow old alone.


    very well said (and true).
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    Apr 03, 2016 1:31 AM GMT
    italiano027 saidMaybe it's just me but do any of you find whether it's on here or on sites like tindr or grindr that all you ever get as a response from people is "not my type."

    Like no matter who I message regardless of their stats interests or whatever, unless theyre like a desperate older guy all I'm ever told is I'm not their type and I'm turned down.

    Either I'm hideous or all these guys are picky and Spoiled and want some Calvin Klein magazine model to crawl out of the woodwork lol.


    Is there maybe something else you have written in your profile that they're reading? I don't see why you'd get those responses, I'd assume you'd do well. Honestly ive never been told, or told anyone they weren't my type, but I find nicer ways to say no thank you. Do you maybe have something written about your type?
  • Havenjock80

    Posts: 428

    Apr 03, 2016 1:45 AM GMT
    Guess what!!! the ones who are saying not my type aren't hooking up with each other . Trust me!!! They are mostly wall flies at events or bars. Average looking guys get more play. Nothing more undesirable then stuck up dudes.

    I have had my fair share of hot, super hot, average etc... There is a market for everyone, Just find it... You are still young. The more you travel, the better it gets.....
  • italiano027

    Posts: 79

    Apr 03, 2016 3:11 AM GMT
    Ashdod saidso ,whats the better response when you dont like a guy?


    Yes people encounter others that aren't a good fit if that's what youre getting at... Point being it seems like everyone tells you you're not a fit
  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    Apr 03, 2016 3:14 AM GMT
    Forget the apps. You're a nice looking guy. Just get out there. Join a sports team, volunteer, go to a club. It's going to happen.
  • Ariodante83

    Posts: 152

    Apr 03, 2016 3:30 AM GMT
    italiano027 said
    Like no matter who I message regardless of their stats interests or whatever, unless theyre like a desperate older guy all I'm ever told is I'm not their type and I'm turned down.


    #woesismenoonelikesmeunlessit'ssomedisgustingolddudebecausethosearegross
  • ATLANTIS7

    Posts: 1213

    Apr 03, 2016 6:55 AM GMT
    There are so so many trolls on the net that are a complete waste of space so don't worry you look fine and nice so next time message back saying oh sorry I will put ketchup on it next time?
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    Apr 03, 2016 7:23 AM GMT
    Ariodante83 said
    italiano027 said
    Like no matter who I message regardless of their stats interests or whatever, unless theyre like a desperate older guy all I'm ever told is I'm not their type and I'm turned down.


    #woesismenoonelikesmeunlessit'ssomedisgustingolddudebecausethosearegross


    true... best to stay away from those desperate old dudes haha. Well, happy hunting.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 03, 2016 11:04 AM GMT
    TroyAthlete saidNo, not really. *shrug*


    LOL Actually, you're NOT my type. Too bulky, too pompous, prefer a more masculine face. *shrug*