Please. ...I don't want to get affected by HIV

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2016 8:48 PM GMT
    I am writing this topic with a desperate mind and I am not sure what to do in this occasion. Please somebody help me....

    Guys I have been in this site for a long time. But I was not looking for hookup.
    Later due to curiosity, I signed in scruff and met a white guy. We did safe sex. He tried to do bareback but I refused. For the next time when we met in January first week, he told me he really loves me.. I was a total fool and allowed him to do bareback. But he didn't cum inside my ass.
    Then I went to India for a vacation for 2 months. I was scared and I checked my hiv status in March first week and it was negative.the doctor told me you need to be careful it is normal that the hiv virus may hide for the first 3 months. Now 3 months over and I didn't feel any symptoms yet.
    But that rascal told me he is under medication for hiv. He got hiv since 2014.
    OMG. ....I don't know what to do now. There is no symptoms yet, but one of my friend told me that the virus may hide in my body for the first 6 months. So I need to be scared.
    Does anybody know anything about this.
    Do I need to check after 6 months. I cannot even think about a life like that.
    I can't tell anything about this to my parents or friends as I didn't come out to anyone plus it is not possible for a typical indian.
    What should I do now? icon_cry.gif
  • tj85016

    Posts: 4123

    Apr 02, 2016 8:53 PM GMT
    you can not be a fool and refuse to bareback, nobody is worth it (unless you're completely committed to each other and honest) . . . but many guys aren't, they really don't care
  • sexyginger

    Posts: 2

    Apr 02, 2016 9:01 PM GMT
    What is done is done; you were fooled, and will not let something this serous happen to you again. Get retested, and be wise of people's lack of morals for others.
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Apr 02, 2016 9:02 PM GMT
    The only thing u can do at this point is continue to get tested. You may get lucky and escape being infected..... or u may not. Not much else u can do?..

    best of luck.
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    Apr 02, 2016 9:05 PM GMT
    First of all....RELAX. Despite what you might think, HIV is very difficult to transmit. Remember, it requires access to your bloodstream to infect you, so you would have had to have a tear in your ass AND he would have to have either cum inside you or precum to get inside that cut. Even if this guy had full blown AIDS, the chances are he did not infect you. And the fact that he didn't cum inside you should make you feel even better about this. I am NOT saying you should go around barebacking HIV+ guys, because it's just not worth the risk. Regardless, you should get tested just to be sure and to put your mind at ease.

    The newer tests (blood tests) can detect HIV exposure a week of the exposure. Do not go for the mouth swab test as it does not detect recent exposures.
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    Apr 02, 2016 9:10 PM GMT
    Radd saidFirst of all....RELAX. Despite what you might think, HIV is very difficult to transmit. Remember, it requires access to your bloodstream to infect you, so you would have had to have a tear in your ass AND he would have to have either cum inside you or precum to get inside that cut. Even if this guy had full blown AIDS, the chances are he did not infect you. And the fact that he didn't cum inside you should make you feel even better about this. I am NOT saying you should go around barebacking HIV+ guys, because it's just not worth the risk. Regardless, you should get tested just to be sure and to put your mind at ease.

    The newer tests (blood tests) can detect HIV exposure a week of the exposure. Do not go for the mouth swab test as it does not detect recent exposures.

    Is it true that it can hide upto 6 months in our body.
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    Apr 02, 2016 9:13 PM GMT
    sexyginger saidWhat is done is done; you were fooled, and will not let something this serous happen to you again. Get retested, and be wise of people's lack of morals for others.

    When do I need to get retested? After 6 months. Or do I need to test frequently ?
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    Apr 02, 2016 9:14 PM GMT
    sudeep said
    Radd saidFirst of all....RELAX. Despite what you might think, HIV is very difficult to transmit. Remember, it requires access to your bloodstream to infect you, so you would have had to have a tear in your ass AND he would have to have either cum inside you or precum to get inside that cut. Even if this guy had full blown AIDS, the chances are he did not infect you. And the fact that he didn't cum inside you should make you feel even better about this. I am NOT saying you should go around barebacking HIV+ guys, because it's just not worth the risk. Regardless, you should get tested just to be sure and to put your mind at ease.

    The newer tests (blood tests) can detect HIV exposure a week of the exposure. Do not go for the mouth swab test as it does not detect recent exposures.

    Is it true that it can hide upto 6 months in our body.



    With the old tests, yes. But like I said, the new blood test detects exposure within the past week. So.....go get tested. You'll feel like a new man once you get your results.
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    Apr 02, 2016 9:16 PM GMT
    sudeep said
    sexyginger saidWhat is done is done; you were fooled, and will not let something this serous happen to you again. Get retested, and be wise of people's lack of morals for others.

    When do I need to get retested? After 6 months. Or do I need to test frequently ?



    I don't think you understand.....unless you have a NEW unsafe sex experience, you don't need to be retested. Although you should get tested regularly just like everyone else.
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    Apr 02, 2016 9:16 PM GMT
    Thanks Radd.... it's really helpful
  • jlars12

    Posts: 82

    Apr 02, 2016 10:03 PM GMT
    Start with being less desperate for cock. Your buddy list... well, lol...
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    Apr 02, 2016 11:01 PM GMT
    sudeep saidThanks Radd.... it's really helpful


    Never take advice from people who claim "HIV is hard to get". If HIV was so hard to get, there wouldn't be so many people infected.

    Anal sex is high risk (even higher risk for the bottom), and you barebacked on top of that. Window periods can vary. You can be asymptomatic for up to 10 years. You should definitely keep testing. Definitely lay off the barebacking, at least until you know for sure. It may be too late for you, but you don't want to possibly infect others if you are poz now.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3529

    Apr 03, 2016 12:49 AM GMT
    CODY4U said
    sudeep saidThanks Radd.... it's really helpful


    Never take advice from people who claim "HIV is hard to get". If HIV was so hard to get, there wouldn't be so many people infected.

    Anal sex is high risk (even higher risk for the bottom), and you barebacked on top of that. Window periods can vary. You can be asymptomatic for up to 10 years. You should definitely keep testing. Definitely lay off the barebacking, at least until you know for sure. It may be too late for you, but you don't want to possibly infect others if you are poz now.


    actually compared to other things like flu say, hiv is hard to transmit in RELATIVE terms. Otherwise everyone in 1970's NYC would have been infected the first month. you can be high risk and still be not certain to be infected each encounter. although outside of a trusted relationship, bad idea.


    p195_risk_chart.jpg
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    Apr 03, 2016 12:51 AM GMT
    CODY4U said
    sudeep saidThanks Radd.... it's really helpful


    Never take advice from people who claim "HIV is hard to get". If HIV was so hard to get, there wouldn't be so many people infected.

    Anal sex is high risk (even higher risk for the bottom), and you barebacked on top of that. Window periods can vary. You can be asymptomatic for up to 10 years. You should definitely keep testing. Definitely lay off the barebacking, at least until you know for sure. It may be too late for you, but you don't want to possibly infect others if you are poz now.



    Ummm.......there would be no gay people left on the planet if that were true! icon_rolleyes.gif And I even put in bold type that it is still not a good idea to bareback with a stranger.
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    Apr 03, 2016 1:41 AM GMT
    Apparition said
    CODY4U said
    sudeep saidThanks Radd.... it's really helpful


    Never take advice from people who claim "HIV is hard to get". If HIV was so hard to get, there wouldn't be so many people infected.

    Anal sex is high risk (even higher risk for the bottom), and you barebacked on top of that. Window periods can vary. You can be asymptomatic for up to 10 years. You should definitely keep testing. Definitely lay off the barebacking, at least until you know for sure. It may be too late for you, but you don't want to possibly infect others if you are poz now.


    actually compared to other things like flu say, hiv is hard to transmit in RELATIVE terms. Otherwise everyone in 1970's NYC would have been infected the first month. you can be high risk and still be not certain to be infected each encounter. although outside of a trusted relationship, bad idea.


    p195_risk_chart.jpg


    HIV isn't the flu. It isn't very hard to get if you're barebacking, and the new infection rates for this community are glaring proof. Let's look at all the high risks that apply to the OP:

    - Man having sex with men ✓
    - An HIV+ partner ✓
    - Anal sex ✓
    - Bareback anal sex ✓
    - Was the receptive partner during bareback anal sex with a newly infected HIV+ partner ✓

    Doesn't sound good. He certainly has several good reasons to panic.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3529

    Apr 03, 2016 1:48 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]CODY4U said

    HIV isn't the flu. It isn't very hard to get if you're barebacking, and the new infection rates for this community are glaring proof. Let's look at all the high risks that apply to the OP:

    - Man having sex with men ✓
    - An HIV+ partner ✓
    - Anal sex ✓
    - Bareback anal sex ✓
    - Was the receptive partner during bareback anal sex with a newly infected HIV+ partner ✓

    Doesn't sound good. He certainly has several good reasons to panic.
    [/quote]

    yes all those things and there are statistics. Chances are risky, yet still not inevitable. see chart. If it was almost certain like exposure to the comparison disease, the flu, everyone would have been infected in 1970s nyc, as stated, or even now. But they weren't. so the risk is definitely there, but not inevitable with one exposure. I think it is 1 in 70 on the chart for his stats.

    HIV is a pretty weak virus in reality. IN relative terms to other things that plague us flu, measels, chickenpox, chlamidia, etc. (yes I know one is a bacteria)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 03, 2016 1:55 AM GMT
    Well, I agree with Cody in that what he did with the guy wasn't the smartest thing to do, but if you look to science (like the graph Apparition posted above), he is probably fine. Apparition wasn't comparing HIV to the Flu....he was comparing how easy it is to transmit.

    The OP seems to realize that what he did was not wise so I see no need in trying to punish him with fear tactics.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 03, 2016 2:08 AM GMT
    No fear tactics. It's called reality. This is a guy that was the receptive partner in unprotected anal sex with an HIV+ partner. I'm sure most of us here that aren't infected would much rather have a flu scare than to be in this guy's shoes right now.

    It's also rather disturbing to see gay men arguing that HIV is hard to get/weak with the sky high new infection rates for this community, but considering those rates, I guess it's to be expected.

  • Apr 03, 2016 3:04 AM GMT
    jlars12 saidStart with being less desperate for cock. Your buddy list... well, lol...


    what do you mean by this? what does his buddy list have to do with any of this?
  • smegnificient

    Posts: 269

    Apr 03, 2016 3:21 AM GMT
    I think he's saying he's got low standards
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 03, 2016 3:22 AM GMT
    Radd saidWell, I agree with Cody in that what he did with the guy wasn't the smartest thing to do, but if you look to science (like the graph Apparition posted above), he is probably fine. Apparition wasn't comparing HIV to the Flu....he was comparing how easy it is to transmit.

    The OP seems to realize that what he did was not wise so I see no need in trying to punish him with fear tactics.

    Oh my.....
    These guys are making me scared than ever before
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 03, 2016 3:28 AM GMT
    Is there any truth in saying-"you can't catch it, if your partners viral load is undetectable.
    He is saying he was under medication, and it can possible do anal sex without cumming inside other's ass. Is there any truth in it? It's my last resort to stay calm icon_question.gif
  • Ariodante83

    Posts: 152

    Apr 03, 2016 3:41 AM GMT
    sudeep saidIs there any truth in saying-"you can't catch it, if your partners viral load is undetectable.


    No. Nothing is "impossible" to catch, just lower in probability of catching under specific circumstances.
  • Allen

    Posts: 341

    Apr 03, 2016 5:24 AM GMT
    sudeep saidIs there any truth in saying-"you can't catch it, if your partners viral load is undetectable.
    He is saying he was under medication, and it can possible do anal sex without cumming inside other's ass. Is there any truth in it? It's my last resort to stay calm icon_question.gif


    Bottoming bareback with anyone is incredibly stupid, whether they acknowledge they're HIV+ or not (absent a truly monogamous relationship with an HIV- partner).

    *IF* he is "undetectable" and ASSUMING he is telling the truth that he is "undetectable" means it is highly unlikely you were infected. But that is not guaranteed.

    To be on the safe side, get tested again at six months from the time you had sex with him.

    And whether you're six-month test comes back negative or not, DON'T EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX AGAIN!! If you're negative, you got lucky. There is no such thing as "safe sex" -- it is only "safER sex."
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    Apr 03, 2016 6:55 AM GMT
    CODY4U saidNo fear tactics. It's called reality. This is a guy that was the receptive partner in unprotected anal sex with an HIV+ partner. I'm sure most of us here that aren't infected would much rather have a flu scare than to be in this guy's shoes right now.

    It's also rather disturbing to see gay men arguing that HIV is hard to get/weak with the sky high new infection rates for this community, but considering those rates, I guess it's to be expected.




    Not sure if you're being willfully ignorant or just trying to scare the poor guy. The science behind HIV studies say very clearly, HIV is a weak virus. It must enter the bloodstream to contract it and even then there is no guarantee it will survive to infect the person. BUT.....no one wants the virus and that's why it's so important to have safe sex.