How many of you want to become a parent, & how many of you dd, but no longer plan on it?

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    Apr 03, 2016 1:44 AM GMT
    I'm really curious about this, & have been for a long time. I have always known one thing above all else since I was 4. I want to be a dad someday. I'm now 39, & I know there's still time, but it's not as easy for me to just have one compared to say my brother for example.
    So for those of you that want to, can I ask if you have any plans set in motion?

    For those that already are parents can I ask how you became a parent, what if any struggles did you find you needed to get through to make it happen?

    For those ( not younger guys that just don't want kids ) that after years of wanting to be a parent, but have come to the decision that you now never plan on it ever happening. What exactly brought you to that decision, & what were the deciding factors? Please tell me your genuine, honest truths on this subject. It is very important to me, & I will truly appreciate it.
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    Apr 03, 2016 3:27 AM GMT
    Gscepi917 saidFor those ( not younger guys that just don't want kids ) that after years of wanting to be a parent, but have come to the decision that you now never plan on it ever happening. What exactly brought you to that decision, & what were the deciding factors? Please tell me your genuine, honest truths on this subject. It is very important to me, & I will truly appreciate it.


    Interesting question/topic. I think we're all told we're going to have kids someday, so that's just what we keep in our minds. When I started realizing gay stuff wasn't a phase, that's when I started veering off from the idea of "settling down" and having kids. Genuine truth: I'd want my kids to have a mother and to grow up in a household seeing a mom and dad that love each other. It's what I got, so I'd feel selfish not offering the same. I also started thinking more about the lifestyle that ends up being most common for gay men, and I don't think it's very kid-friendly. We like life to be as NSA as possible. Most gay men don't want to be tied down by anything that prevents them from doing whatever on whim, and kids would definitely kill that freedom (marriage too). Also, when my older brother and sister started their families, that completely cemented my decision. I love my nieces and nephews, but I need breaks. Lots of breaks. You leave your job every weekday. You can even tell a significant other you need space. Leaving and requesting space aren't options with children. It's non-stop until you die. I don't think I'd be able do it.
  • Ariodante83

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    Apr 03, 2016 3:44 AM GMT
    I knew from day one of me being on this Earth that I never wanted to have kids. And I still don't. However if my partner wanted kids I would consider it.
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    Apr 03, 2016 1:34 PM GMT
    i had a step daughter through a previous marriage (wife). I would do it again if i were younger. It takes takes up your whole life tho, if you want to do a good job for your children.
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    Apr 03, 2016 2:00 PM GMT
    As one of 10 children of my beloved devout Catholic parents, I thought I wanted kids by the time I was 25 because my experience growing up was so happy and fulfilling that it needed to be shared with my own kids. I later realized that my experience was, to a large measure, unique. It's a different time now--the environment is changing, people are getting meaner, earning a living for many people has become quite challenging, the educational system in the US has deteriorated, quality college education is becoming unaffordable, discrimination of all kinds is rampant, etc., etc., etc. No doubt my views have changed dramatically. I would not want my own kids to grow up in the current environment and, accordingly, I've decided that I will not have kids of my own.
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    Apr 03, 2016 3:15 PM GMT
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    Apr 03, 2016 5:04 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidIt's a different time now--the environment is changing, people are getting meaner, earning a living for many people has become quite challenging, the educational system in the US has deteriorated, quality college education is becoming unaffordable, discrimination of all kinds is rampant, etc., etc., etc. No doubt my views have changed dramatically. I would not want my own kids to grow up in the current environment and, accordingly, I've decided that I will not have kids of my own.


    This too! The world is completely cray right now.
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    Apr 03, 2016 5:50 PM GMT
    Thank you all for your honest replys, I really do apreciate them. Mostly they are things I've considered as its atopic I think about quite often, but also some new POV to consider too.
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    Apr 03, 2016 6:27 PM GMT
    Having kids is an abstract desire to me. But I want a partner/husband first, and financial security before having kids.