I think for some gay scenes, into the scene, they act differently as a way to get attention, and feel like they belong in gay culture.
Many gay guys I know are very masculine, confident, and so on. They're the guys you'll never see being outlandish at a gay pride parade, because they just don't behave that way. Many times, they have self confidence, and walk to their own drummer.
You're in Austin, with a huge gay community. You'll find more folks less femmy as you go along. Those guys won't be the flamers strutting around or calling folks names like daddy, twink, bear, otter, etc...and all that other nonsense. They're gay, and they're o.k. with it. They like being guys. We can talk about culture, but, reality is, that men are men, and women are women. Society is evolving. Men do things that wasn't in their domain until just 30 years ago... eyebrows...shave...manicures..pedicures..facials, etc. That's a good evolution, but, we all have personalities with which we click. If a guy shows up with pink shoes, swishing, and a man purse...Sorry..not my type.
The flamers have caused a lot of bisexual, and gay, guys to steer clear of some of gay culture. They don't like the way it makes them feel around being gay, and, they're not into the whole swish, swoon, and limp wrist. They're normal...if you want to call it that.
Everyone knows I'm gay. I can command a room with my physical presence, and intellect. I don't need to swish. LOL.
Tolerance is the ticket. Understand...the really weird ones...are going to end up with a life of struggle. Sameness can be good sometimes. Sexual preference is what it is. If you haven't read The Kinsey Studies.
I love testosterone. I love being a guy. And, in middle age, you get a case of the fuck its. You become much more secure, and very much less concerned about what other folks are trending. I wanta' drive a big fat truck? I do. I wanna' wear tights at the gym? I do. I wanna' shave everything? I do. I don't wanna' hang out with folks that have no commonality with me? I don't.