Why haven't I met many guys who act like men?

  • dude_8

    Posts: 15

    Apr 07, 2016 4:59 PM GMT
    Lived in hollywood for a bit and thought i'd meet a lot of cool, masculine gays in west LA. met some cool dudes but only one who acted like a man's man (coincidentally guy I'm seeing now). I love being gay and hanging around guys who aren't exactly like me, but when it comes to a partner I like a dude who acts like one.

    am I looking in the wrong areas or something? where are the gay guys who like to surf, hike, camp, roadtrip, etc.
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2929

    Apr 07, 2016 5:32 PM GMT
    Maybe it's where you live and the people you hang out with? Most of my gay friends ski, hike, etc. One is a NCAA champion, two others run ski areas, one biked across the country, another plays hockey...

    But I'm not sure that makes anyone a "man's man," whatever that is. My friends are just being themselves. Maybe look up some gay sports leagues?
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    Apr 07, 2016 5:39 PM GMT
    Move up to Bakersfield or Fresno, then you can hang out with the redneck farmers.
  • dude_8

    Posts: 15

    Apr 07, 2016 5:44 PM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal saidMove up to Bakersfield or Fresno, then you can hang out with the redneck farmers.


    icon_rolleyes.gif

    I'll pass!!!!
  • Ariodante83

    Posts: 152

    Apr 07, 2016 7:59 PM GMT
    dude_8 saidLived in hollywood for a bit and thought i'd meet a lot of cool, masculine gays in west LA.


    Because nothing screams masculine like WeHo.
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    Apr 08, 2016 12:18 AM GMT
    You live in WeHo and expect to find masculine guys there? Good luck dude, from my few experiences that's going to be a needle in a haystack there.

    The simple fact is that most gay guys are fem--or at least not alpha masculine men.

    You'd have better luck in more "rugged" cities, I suspect.
  • Allen

    Posts: 341

    Apr 08, 2016 6:01 AM GMT
    I've lived in several cities all over the country. And I've encountered both masculine and feminine (and everything in between) in every city I've lived.

    It's been my experience that it's more often the type of bar you go to rather than the city you're in. Different bars cater to different crowds.
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    Apr 08, 2016 2:45 PM GMT
    move to Denver.

    serious tho
    the gay dating pool is limited. We are not the 10% they promised and instead only like 3% of the general population.

    Until the very most recent generation, most gay men have not come from inclusive environments. Limited experiences and introverted skills.

    most gay men have been forced out of an expensive gay bro area. Assimilated into the general population.

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    Apr 08, 2016 5:54 PM GMT
    one4u2c said
    dude_8 saidLived in hollywood for a bit and thought i'd meet a lot of cool, masculine gays in west LA. met some cool dudes but only one who acted like a man's man (coincidentally guy I'm seeing now). I love being gay and hanging around guys who aren't exactly like me, but when it comes to a partner I like a dude who acts like one.

    am I looking in the wrong areas or something? where are the gay guys who like to surf, hike, camp, roadtrip, etc.


    Become what you are seeking. If you want to meet masculine men, take on masculine traits. The whole opposites attract think only works in the straight community. Gay men are more of the birds of a feather flocking type.


    This is great advice. I had a therapist once who told me that where gay men are concerned, "like attracts like". Actually, this could be applied to many situations, not just masc-fem.
  • dude_8

    Posts: 15

    Apr 08, 2016 7:52 PM GMT
    yeah makes sense. I'm not into the scene much. maybe need to join a gay hiking club or something icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Saffron69

    Posts: 121

    Apr 10, 2016 4:24 AM GMT
    Been having the same problem my whole life... if I wasn't such a pussy in high school I wouldn't be.having this problem. where I live now I seem to be the only daywalker there (what I call muscline gay guysicon_smile.gif ) aside from skanks and married bi guys until recently I thought I was going to be alone for a little longer
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    Apr 12, 2016 2:19 AM GMT
    This may be the first time I've heard "WEHO" and "masculine" used in the same sentence! But honestly, I lived in WEHO but left after one very short month because I was absolutely miserable. Even online, I would get hit on by some very hot guys but when I would meet them at a coffee house the purse came falling out. Sorry but I don't care how much muscles you have if you look and act like a girl it's game over. WEHO is the most stereotypical place I've ever been to so you've got your work cut out for you.
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    Apr 13, 2016 1:37 PM GMT
    The "masculine" gay men are already taken. They sell out like cheap ice cream on a hot summer day.
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    Apr 13, 2016 4:20 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidThe "masculine" gay men are already taken. They sell out like cheap ice cream on a hot summer day.


    This is so true! Especially if he's a total top.

    Masculine + top = he will always be forgiven for any wrong doing (and once he knows this, there will be lots to forgive).
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    Apr 13, 2016 5:29 PM GMT
    dude_8 saidyeah makes sense. I'm not into the scene much. maybe need to join a gay hiking club or something icon_rolleyes.gif


    Yeah, eye roll. You're the one looking for a masculine man in West Hollywood. What did you think people were going to say? Maybe you were hoping someone could tell you where to obtain a pheromone to lure in Mr. Right? And are you masculine yourself? I can't tell, what with that bonnet you're wearing. And why does it have to be a gay club?There are many masculine gay men who want no part of the gay "scene". They actually prefer mixed company. Are you out? Because some very interesting things can happen when people know you are gay. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • TroyAthlete

    Posts: 4269

    Apr 15, 2016 6:47 PM GMT
    dude_8 saidLived in hollywood for a bit and thought i'd meet a lot of cool, masculine gays in west LA. met some cool dudes but only one who acted like a man's man (coincidentally guy I'm seeing now). I love being gay and hanging around guys who aren't exactly like me, but when it comes to a partner I like a dude who acts like one.

    am I looking in the wrong areas or something? where are the gay guys who like to surf, hike, camp, roadtrip, etc.


    Varsity Gay League is popular and good start: https://www.facebook.com/varsitygayleague/

    There are also gay hiking clubs in Los Angeles.

    Good luck.