Gay men who don't mind the use of gay slur

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    Apr 07, 2016 7:28 PM GMT
    whether it's "that's so gay". "queer". "fag", "faggot", or whatever...

    do you think that maybe because they are strong men with thick skin, or because they have never really experienced anti-gay harassment against them in their life, particularly during their vulnerable young age?
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    Apr 07, 2016 7:35 PM GMT
    Ronar2 saidwhether it's "that's so gay". "queer". "fag", "faggot", or whatever...

    do you think that maybe because they are strong men with thick skin, or because they have never really experienced anti-gay harassment against them in their life, particularly during their vulnerable young age?



    I experienced lots of anti-gay harassment when I was a kid. And yes, I use those slang terms all the time. Words themselves have no power. It's the intention behind the user that can hurt or heal.
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    Apr 07, 2016 7:44 PM GMT
    I only communicate by using slurs.
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    Apr 07, 2016 11:04 PM GMT
    I was called faggot while walking down the street recently. I didn't even look to see who called me that but kept on walking. I felt a little pissed but I just laughed it off. whoever it was was in front of a gas station (I was across the street), so they must've looked pretty stupid and made a scene just to yell that. I laughed because he made himself look petty and over emotional, just my presence must've bothered him but I try to not let people effect me emotionally
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    Apr 08, 2016 12:20 AM GMT
    Ronar2 saidwhether it's "that's so gay". "queer". "fag", "faggot", or whatever...

    do you think that maybe because they are strong men with thick skin, or because they have never really experienced anti-gay harassment against them in their life, particularly during their vulnerable young age?


    Well, those words are all on different tiers, in my opinion. Someone saying "that's so gay" isn't the same as a homophobe calling a gay guy "fag" or "faggot".
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    Apr 08, 2016 1:03 AM GMT
    I don't have a problem with any gay slurs, and I was exposed to tons of defamatory comments towards homosexuality from peers and family.

    It's about being an adult and respecting peoples' self expression even if it is ignorant. As long as you're not expressing violence or a lot of directly negative energy towards one person, I don't really care about what people say.
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    Apr 08, 2016 1:34 AM GMT
    Are they only slurs when you buy into the speaker's intended meaning? And if you don't buy into that meaning, then why doesn't the intended slur bother you?

    Heard plenty of slurs growing up. The one that made me laugh was 'turd tapper'.
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    Apr 08, 2016 1:56 AM GMT
    I carry a concealed weapon. I just pull it out and put a few slugs in them.
  • Wendigo9

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    Apr 08, 2016 2:48 AM GMT
    I shrug off the slurs thrown at me, and point out the word meaning to make the attacker look stupid. example:

    Faggot - do I look like a pile of sticks?
    Queer - what interest are you refering to?
    Homo - takes one to know one
    You're gay - yeah, so what?

    Also, if "gay" means outrageously stupid in this era, start using "that's so bi" meaning so stupid you can't decide.
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    Apr 08, 2016 4:53 AM GMT
    I've never directly dealt with homophobia, but anti-gay terms don't really bother me unless if they make their way into politics.

    It doesn't bother me on a social level because people who use the word "fag" often look like they barely graduated from high school.
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    Apr 08, 2016 5:24 AM GMT
    Words used to dehumanized people are always dangerous and should never be tolerated. It's easy to pummel a man to death when he's just a faggot. It's easy to pour boiling water on him. It's easy to tie him to a fence in Wyoming and beat him senseless and leave him to die. He's not a man. He's not human. He's just a faggot.

    Shame on any gay man who accepts these hateful slurs used by our enemies to dehumanize us. And yes sometimes our enemies are even our families and friends who carelessly throw these words around. They unwittingly contribute to our dehumanization.
  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    Apr 08, 2016 7:51 AM GMT
    I know that one day soon the next generation of gay men and women will ask us “Is it true that people used to say those words openly and gay men and women of your time thought it was OK? I at least want to be able to answer “yes, but I did my best to eradicate homophobia,” instead of looking for excuses, to stand to the side.
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    Apr 08, 2016 10:22 AM GMT
    It really depends on the context.

    Laura Jana Grace using the word faggot in Transgender Disphoria Blues totally makes sense and isn't offensive.

    I high school teacher calling a gay kid (or any kid really) would be an issue.

    If somebody on the street wants to call me name then they can have at it. I will think they are a dumbass but hardly worth my time.
  • nice_chap

    Posts: 281

    Apr 08, 2016 2:22 PM GMT
    On one hand, it's not the sort of behavior that should be encouraged, because it endorses homophobia and prejudice.

    On the other hand, if you're going to get offended by words like that being used to mock and insult people, then you might as well get offended by other rude words. I've heard straight men calling other men "pussy" and "cunt" and "twat" but straight men are supposed to love that part of a woman's body so it seems weird they'd use it as an insult, but there you go.
    Or calling someone a "wanker" as an insult - who doesn't love a good wank?

    Insulting and name calling and swearing is not ideal behavior, no matter what the words relate to, but as adults, we all do it when we feel frustrated. Obviously there is a time and place when that sort of behavior is inappropriate (i.e. at work in front of customers or superiors, in public, when children are around, at a funeral etc.)

    But if people are using insults to make fun of each other as a form of camaraderie, then what happens among friends stays among friends.
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    Apr 08, 2016 2:33 PM GMT
    never say anything bad about anyone, especially your self. Just never ever do it. Re define how you think about people; break down your labels into the specific components that define the person.
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    Apr 08, 2016 5:55 PM GMT
    It's gotten to the point where if you call someone a slur publicly, the person crazy enough to create a scene looks the worst, especially if everyone just ignores it.
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    Apr 09, 2016 2:00 AM GMT
    one4u2c said
    Red_wolf87 saidI was called faggot while walking down the street recently. I didn't even look to see who called me that but kept on walking. I felt a little pissed but I just laughed it off. whoever it was was in front of a gas station (I was across the street), so they must've looked pretty stupid and made a scene just to yell that. I laughed because he made himself look petty and over emotional, just my presence must've bothered him but I try to not let people effect me emotionally


    icon_lol.gif what were you wearing or doing to be so obvious from across the street?



    No. People know I'm gay around here, its a small town. I get called faggot at least twice a year or every couple of years, so far.. lol. I really gotta get out of this town icon_confused.gif
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    Apr 09, 2016 8:46 AM GMT
    various kind of responses.

    though I remember some southern older man saying this as his justification of using the word ni**er.
    "not all blacks are 'ni**ers', only the criminal, the lazys on welfare, and the loudmouthed ones'. "I have lots of black people working for me, but they're not 'ni**ers'.
    After he said that, I just said nothing, and tried to change subject, and then I left. He seemed at ease with it and I don't think anything that I'd say about it would be nice.
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    Apr 09, 2016 8:49 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidWords used to dehumanized people are always dangerous and should never be tolerated. It's easy to pummel a man to death when he's just a faggot. It's easy to pour boiling water on him. It's easy to tie him to a fence in Wyoming and beat him senseless and leave him to die. He's not a man. He's not human. He's just a faggot.

    Shame on any gay man who accepts these hateful slurs used by our enemies to dehumanize us. And yes sometimes our enemies are even our families and friends who carelessly throw these words around. They unwittingly contribute to our dehumanization.

    +1 million
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    Apr 09, 2016 8:58 AM GMT
    No one should ever quote The Great and Honorable Michael Scott icon_lol.gif

    stb1288aiimoivg5yflq.jpg
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    Apr 09, 2016 9:16 AM GMT
    Ronar2 saidvarious kind of responses.

    though I remember some southern older man saying this as his justification of using the word ni**er.
    "not all blacks are 'ni**ers', only the criminal, the lazys on welfare, and the loudmouthed ones'. "I have lots of balck people working for me, but they're not 'ni**ers'.
    After he said that, I just said nothing, and tried to change subject, and then I left. He seemed at ease with it and I don't think anything that I'd say about it would be nice.

    In Alabama I was dating a 26-year-old local girl. icon_eek.gif And she spent a lot of time at her very elderly grandmother's house, with me along. This woman was in her late 80s, born in the 1890s.

    And I loved to talk with this grandmother, who gave me a kind of "oral history" of the early days of rural Alabama. A time before electrification, and automobiles, of kerosene lamps and horse-drawn carriages.

    But one time she told me about a fox hunt she had just attended in neighboring Georgia. She could no longer ride a horse herself, but they provided jitneys to transport the elderly and infirm to viewing vantage points.

    And she said to me that she knew that people like me from the "Noth" thought all Southerners were prejudiced against Black people. But that wasn't true at all.

    "After the hunt we had these Black boys in a chorus come and sing to us. And they sang so well we applauded them. We did! So you see we're not prejudiced at all."

    Afterwards her granddaughter apologized to me, saying she was embarrassed by her grandmother's remarks. And I replied I wasn't upset, I understood it was her era, another insight into how people thought many decades ago.

    So that I wouldn't challenge or confront the old lady on these issues. It was unlikely her mind would be changed at this late point in life. And her influence on others was minimal. Certainly her own granddaughter rejected these outdated and racist notions. While I continued to "mine" her for information and experiences about a long-past time that I could never know or imagine on my own.
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    Apr 10, 2016 12:26 AM GMT
    Radd said
    Ronar2 saidwhether it's "that's so gay". "queer". "fag", "faggot", or whatever...

    do you think that maybe because they are strong men with thick skin, or because they have never really experienced anti-gay harassment against them in their life, particularly during their vulnerable young age?



    I experienced lots of anti-gay harassment when I was a kid. And yes, I use those slang terms all the time. Words themselves have no power. It's the intention behind the user that can hurt or heal.


    ^this
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    Apr 10, 2016 1:38 AM GMT
    Flyguy18 said
    Radd said
    Ronar2 saidwhether it's "that's so gay". "queer". "fag", "faggot", or whatever...

    do you think that maybe because they are strong men with thick skin, or because they have never really experienced anti-gay harassment against them in their life, particularly during their vulnerable young age?



    I experienced lots of anti-gay harassment when I was a kid. And yes, I use those slang terms all the time. Words themselves have no power. It's the intention behind the user that can hurt or heal.


    ^this


    same