When you and your boyfriend argue do you ever hit each other?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 09, 2016 1:23 AM GMT
    What's your feelings on it? I mean it's two men so is shoving and even some hitting acceptable? At what point does it become too much?
  • Ariodante83

    Posts: 152

    Apr 09, 2016 1:58 AM GMT
    zoltar said I mean it's two men so is shoving and even some hitting acceptable?


    Uh, unless you're fetishizing some sort of rough play argument that turns into sex, no. it's not acceptable. I've never had it happen to me personally. But if ever my partner or someone I was seeing physically assaulted me in any way first I would break his goddamn nose then dump his sorry ass.
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2929

    Apr 09, 2016 2:08 AM GMT
    Utterly unacceptable. Violence is violence, and it doesn't prove a damned thing other than that the person who uses it has no self control, and no respect for other person.
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    Apr 09, 2016 2:49 AM GMT
    Never!
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    Apr 09, 2016 9:00 AM GMT
    No! And if you're the type of person who hits someone you love during an argument, seek help!
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    Apr 09, 2016 9:10 AM GMT
    Never.
    The only time I ever hit my guy was when he was being a jerk and kept annoying me to get a rise out of me for fun, but usually I hit him with pillows, or I hit (more like slap) his arm, his thigh or his butt. In other words, we were being playful, and what I did wasn't trying to hurt him.
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    Apr 09, 2016 9:41 AM GMT
    No, never hit a BF. One BF roughed me up once, and I promptly moved out of his house. That's a line you do not cross with me, nor will I cross with you.

    One time my very volatile Sicilian/Italian husband (SB alert) and I had an argument. He came storming out of our office and pushed past me standing in our bedroom doorway, accidentally sending me sprawling backwards onto the floor. It was more because of being pushed a little off balance, and then losing my footing on the slippery ceramic tile, than of being forcibly knocked over.

    OMG, you'd thought he had shot me or something! He started crying & apologizing, would I ever forgive him, etc, etc. And I hugged and reassured him, though also partly laughing, saying it was nothing more than an inadvertent accident, obviously not intended, I wasn't in any way upset or offended. And certainly not physically hurt by it.

    The good part was it ended our tiff. When you reach a point like that you call it quits. Argument's over, you kiss, hug and make up.
  • Relajado

    Posts: 409

    Apr 09, 2016 11:25 AM GMT
    Ariodante83 said
    zoltar said I mean it's two men so is shoving and even some hitting acceptable?


    Uh, unless you're fetishizing some sort of rough play argument that turns into sex, no. it's not acceptable. I've never had it happen to me personally. But if ever my partner or someone I was seeing physically assaulted me in any way first I would break his goddamn nose then dump his sorry ass.


    And if he was stronger and beat you to shit?
  • Ariodante83

    Posts: 152

    Apr 09, 2016 2:49 PM GMT
    Relajado said
    Ariodante83 said
    zoltar said I mean it's two men so is shoving and even some hitting acceptable?


    Uh, unless you're fetishizing some sort of rough play argument that turns into sex, no. it's not acceptable. I've never had it happen to me personally. But if ever my partner or someone I was seeing physically assaulted me in any way first I would break his goddamn nose then dump his sorry ass.


    And if he was stronger and beat you to shit?


    You do realize this is supposed to be someone with whom I'm in a relationship right? Why I would have the lapse of judgement to be in a serious commitment with someone who would "beat me to shit" is...well it just wouldn't happen.

    Also I'm 6'1" and 220#. And have aggression issues. If this were to turn into some sort of all out brawl however big the other guy was I'd still be doing damage.
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    Apr 09, 2016 3:03 PM GMT
    zoltar saidWhat's your feelings on it? I mean it's two men so is shoving and even some hitting acceptable? At what point does it become too much?


    It is unacceptable the second that it becomes aggressive. Physically or emotionally.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3516

    Apr 09, 2016 3:25 PM GMT
    i would no longer be in a relationship
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    Apr 09, 2016 3:54 PM GMT
    Violence in a relationship is bloody UNACCEPTABLE !!
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    Apr 09, 2016 3:57 PM GMT
    Violence begets violence. No one wins.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14303

    Apr 09, 2016 5:05 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidViolence begets violence. No one wins.
    Violence is the wrong answer always. No more war. No more violent crime.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 09, 2016 5:54 PM GMT
    zoltar saidWhat's your feelings on it? I mean it's two men so is shoving and even some hitting acceptable? At what point does it become too much?


    It becomes too much the minute he raises his hand! There is NO EXCUSE....
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    Apr 09, 2016 6:06 PM GMT
    zoltar saidWhat's your feelings on it? I mean it's two men so is shoving and even some hitting acceptable? At what point does it become too much?

    It's too much if it would ever happen.
    Thinking about it, I tend to associate the image with film or theater about dysfunctional people - (prmimarily heterosexual) - and lower class or redneck. People I would not want to know. Either that or rough sex, which is also not my taste.
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    Apr 09, 2016 6:09 PM GMT
    Fuck no.
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2929

    Apr 09, 2016 7:17 PM GMT
    Unless you're right-wing nutcase with guns. And even then, no shoving!
  • Wendigo9

    Posts: 426

    Apr 09, 2016 11:57 PM GMT
    I've had disagreements with my hunny before, but we've never hit eachother yet (other then during sex), he's more of a lover than a fighter : )
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    Apr 10, 2016 1:18 AM GMT
    Ariodante83 said
    zoltar said I mean it's two men so is shoving and even some hitting acceptable?


    Uh, unless you're fetishizing some sort of rough play argument that turns into sex, no. it's not acceptable. I've never had it happen to me personally. But if ever my partner or someone I was seeing physically assaulted me in any way first I would break his goddamn nose then dump his sorry ass.


    Blocked profile and will immediately click ignore forum posts.

    Rough play is not just for sex.

    Rough play outside of sex means you're going to break someone's nose [I disdain.] I've seen too much rough play within reason on football fields, tough love, acting classes, acting performances, basketball, hockey, Three Stooges, baseball. People need to learn how not to throw out their trump card of turning into a criminal--performing a criminal act.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 10, 2016 2:02 AM GMT
    I had a "boyfriend" who loved tapped me a few times.

    After allowances, I told him to stop with an ultimatum.

    He was telling me something really important when he was hitting me.

    What, there was a 12 year age difference?

    I do not want to share what was going on with him but he was teaching me a lesson, a very important lesson about aging, irrevocable aging, something words could not express. My life has been his. He was maturing me. He was acting out.

    Living with someone closely, lovingly can bring that on. What I went through was not as difficult as a loving parent going through adolescence with their child or grandchildren living with a grandmother with Alzheimer's.

    What about the homophobic father who hurts his stepson so personally that the son says, stop the car, but before the car even stops, he jumps out and runs away for two weeks.




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    Apr 10, 2016 2:14 AM GMT
    StephenOABC said
    Ariodante83 said
    zoltar said I mean it's two men so is shoving and even some hitting acceptable?


    Uh, unless you're fetishizing some sort of rough play argument that turns into sex, no. it's not acceptable. I've never had it happen to me personally. But if ever my partner or someone I was seeing physically assaulted me in any way first I would break his goddamn nose then dump his sorry ass.


    Blocked profile and will immediately click ignore forum posts.

    Rough play is not just for sex.

    Rough play outside of sex means you're going to break someone's nose [I disdain.] I've seen too much rough play within reason on football fields, tough love, acting classes, acting performances, basketball, hockey, Three Stooges, baseball. People need to learn how not to throw out their trump card of turning into a criminal--performing a criminal act.


    Snowball fights, pillow fights, get it out of your system, foam paddles in a psychiatrists couples' counseling office

    those times people have done something so wrong to you, they need to be slapped ... I remember a man in my industry. He loved his job. His life was putting everything into his job. (No, I'm not talking about the movie Wall Street when the apprentice got hit by his mentor.) But when Lehman Bros. failed, I remember from the news, one of the employees, well here:

    Richard Fuld punched in face in Lehman Brothers gym

    Richard Fuld, the disgraced head of Lehman Brothers, was punched in the face in the office gym amid the bank's collapse.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/financialcrisis/3150319/Richard-Fuld-punched-in-face-in-Lehman-Brothers-gym.html

    Domestic abuse is up 80 something percent in my metropolitan area. Homicides are up 35%. The police chief is making more police (single parent police) work more night shifts.

    = = =

    Try not to get a boyfriend with a drinking/drug problem.
    Try to get a boyfriend who goes to church.
    Try to get a boyfriend who is astrologically compatible.
    Try to get a boyfriend who has gone through anger management training.

    SO many men do not have any of the four.
  • wild_sky360

    Posts: 1492

    Apr 10, 2016 3:26 AM GMT
    It turns him on when I punch his rock hard pecs, but there's definitely no aggression...maybe a little jealousy, but no aggression.

    Other than that, even playful bro roughhousing is off limits.
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    Apr 10, 2016 6:38 AM GMT
    Ok so is anyone here going to have the guts to say they have been the one to strike back? Other than Ariodante83?

    My 1983 Navy boyfriend (we are still long-distance friends),
    We once squeezed each others dicks as hard as we could to see if it would help eliminate our lust for each other. Nope. 2 Christians trying not to be Gay.

    On a San Fran highway long underpass my lover kept leaning and pushing me forward while riding behind me on my Kawasaki 250 Enduro. He didn't get the message that his behavior was making me very uncomfortable after yelling for him to sit up instead of leaning me forward. So I pushed back at him hitting our helmets a couple times. It worked.

    Then we were driving cross country (I took vacation to be with him during his duty station change). We were visiting his elementary school age city in Indiana. He was driving and I was behind him in the back seat. He was playing the radio so loud. I pleaded with him a few times that the volume was hurting me. He ignored me so I shoved his seat forward. He stopped his car and told me to get out. I did. He came back for me in about 15 minutes. We talked it out.

    I don't advocate my behavior. I am a product of a violent spouse abusive father. My lover fought with his older brother. He once slapped me a few times on my legs when we were in bed at a hotel. We met on vacation and I got a little alcohol buzz that annoyed him by bringing him a bad memory of someone in his family childhood. It hurt but we talked about it and I agreed to be sensitive to his feelings and not visit him with after having a drink. I don't care for alcohol anyway. It only help me dance on the weekend in my 20's.

    Jeff was my only physically aggressive relationship I had. My 2 other important relationships were non aggressive.

    No one should tolerate mental, emotional or physical coercion or violence. Leave.
    Your life is valuable. The other person will most likely never change. The violent need professional counseling for decades to overcome their nature.
    Don't be fooled by their love for you. You can and will live a much less toxic life with a peaceful person. Run for your life! Seriously
    Hugs Guys






  • Apr 10, 2016 6:52 AM GMT
    no! not acceptable. not cool at all.