Friend flirting with my boyfriend....

  • Risicv

    Posts: 2

    Apr 12, 2016 4:32 AM GMT
    So Im really confused cause Saturday night i went out with my boyfriend and some other of he's friends, and we ran into one of my closses friends, everything was going good until I've notice that he was flirting with my boyfriend,he started to get more closer to him and talk then he went to the bar, my boyfriend and i ran out of drinks and he went to the bar, there was a 15ft from my friend and my boyfriend at the bar, and suddenly my friend decide to move to another spot right next to my boyfriend,yes, right next to him, he was talking to him and i noticed that he was even trying to rub he's arm to my boyfriends chest.My boyfriend didn't do anything, he was very respectful, and didn't try to do anything to him or something. it was my friend the one doing the touching and flirt.

    I confronted him the next day and told him how disappointed i was, but he said he didn't do it, that he didn't do that cause were friends, and he's not interested in my boyfriend, cause he has one. but the thing is that before he was in a relationship he used to be the kind of guy who used to like to get involved in relationships and make them brake up, just for fun.

    now im confused, i don't know what to do. any advice?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2016 5:06 AM GMT
    You should by now know the old saying.

    With friends like that who needs enemies..

    Dump this phony friend and get on with your life.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2016 5:37 AM GMT
    Yup. Dump your friend before it's too late and make sure you tell your bf why.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2016 6:04 AM GMT
    and you're friends with him why?
  • Allen

    Posts: 341

    Apr 12, 2016 6:43 AM GMT
    Just beat the shit out of him. He'll then (hopefully) think twice about pulling that on someone else, let alone someone who is supposed to be his friend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2016 11:03 AM GMT
    no, you're doing relationships all wrong.

    it's like. if you're gonna get your panties in a twist everytime someone gets close to your guy, you're gonna have one bitter relationship/life.

    you can't prevent flirting from happening, & it's gonna happen, whether it's in your face or behind your back.

    just relax & have fun. if he's not cheating, you're alright.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2016 12:47 PM GMT
    Sounds like your friend is a ho with very low self-esteem. Ultimately your bf controls what happens. If he's a man of character, no amount of flirting will cause him to succumb to your ho friend.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 12, 2016 4:03 PM GMT
    I think we all have to be careful when it comes to this sort of thing. Not to overreact, not to just ignore it. Some friends may not intentionally be doing anything except having a great time with your boyfriend and not meaning anything disrespectful.... others may be doing that specifically and if so, they aren't any friend of yours since they are trying to capitalize at your expense.

    If it were me, I'd have to make sure it was inappropriate and the "friend" knew it. I'd have talked to my boyfriend and if action was warranted, I'd probably be clear that it wasn't cool and to knock it off.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2016 6:13 PM GMT
    I have to admit that I am a little confused at what happened. Was it just the 3 of you (you + your boyfriend + your friend) or were you all in a bigger group? And was your friend locking you out of the conversation leaving you there all alone or were the 3 of you talking? And when you said your friend was trying to rub his arm against your bf's chest, how could you tell?

    To me, the red flag is that your friend likes to break up relationships. That would not be someone who shared the same values as me. The other stuff you mentioned didn't seem all that egregious based on my interpretation of your post but I might be misunderstanding it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2016 7:01 PM GMT
    Hello mate,

    I would say that your friend may not know that he is doing it, or he may very well. If he is a very good friend, my suggestion would be to speak with him with regards to his behaviour. If he chooses to ignore your desires and respect your relationship boundaries, it would be time to sever that friendship.

    Some people are just playful. I have a couple of friends like that, whom play flirt just as a part of their personality. Your boyfriend sounds like he is aware of it and not falling for the bait... Good for him!

    I hope it all works out for the best.

    Cheers,

    Sean
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2016 9:08 PM GMT
    GTPSean saidHello mate,

    I would say that your friend may not know that he is doing it, or he may very well. [...] Some people are just playful.

    Getting flirty and physically affectionate with your best friend's boyfriend is not "playful", it's disrespectful.

    If a friend of mine did that with my boyfriend I would immediately let them know their behavior wasn't appropriate. If it continued, I would dump the friend. And I would also expect my boyfriend to say "hey dude, back off" to the friend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2016 2:23 PM GMT
    Risicv said... ran into one of my closses friends, everything was going good until I've notice that he was flirting with my boyfriend...
    dont confuse acquaintances with best friends.

    after an evening out like this you two should sit down and talk it all out what you heard and saw for the evening. Really helps.

    Did you have that discussion with your bf? which ever discussion applies to this sit. Open relationship, what constitutes flirting / sex, your & his comfort levels and needs...
  • venue35

    Posts: 4644

    Apr 13, 2016 9:55 PM GMT
    I hate it when this happens
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Apr 14, 2016 1:21 AM GMT
    Maybe my friends and I are weird but we all kind of flirt with each other. Not in a I want to have sex with you kind of way but in a fun we are all very close way. I don't know the dynamic but if you trust your friends and your bf I don't see a real issue.
  • mcbrion

    Posts: 305

    Apr 14, 2016 3:44 PM GMT
    jackedgamer said
    GTPSean saidHello mate,

    I would say that your friend may not know that he is doing it, or he may very well. [...] Some people are just playful.

    Getting flirty and physically affectionate with your best friend's boyfriend is not "playful", it's disrespectful.

    If a friend of mine did that with my boyfriend I would immediately let them know their behavior wasn't appropriate. If it continued, I would dump the friend. And I would also expect my boyfriend to say "hey dude, back off" to the friend.


    I agree. While it is fine for the boyfriend to be "polite," he should also set boundaries, as in "….I'm a little uncomfortable with you touching me." Period. And then observe if the other guy HAS boundaries, and acknowledges it, and apologizes. That will tell you everything about his character and you and your boyfriend will both know whether or not he is someone you will need to distance yourself from.
    I disagree you should ditch him unless he continues the behavior. I'm surprised with some of the overreactions. If he's a friend - in contrast to an acquaintance - who doesn't know how serious your relationship is, he may just need a simple verbal nudge. No need to go all nuclear. Assess the person first. Then decide on the degree of action needed.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Apr 14, 2016 4:02 PM GMT
    patito saidno, you're doing relationships all wrong.

    it's like. if you're gonna get your panties in a twist everytime someone gets close to your guy, you're gonna have one bitter relationship/life.

    you can't prevent flirting from happening, & it's gonna happen, whether it's in your face or behind your back.

    just relax & have fun. if he's not cheating, you're alright.


    Ya and like DrobUA said, if you all are good friends, harmless flirting while drinking is usually nice. And not a threat. If I was your bf, I wouldn't appreciate the implication that I need your protection (and jealousy) and can't innocently enjoy my evening without worrying if you'll feel threatened. Chill.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 16, 2016 2:49 AM GMT
    Trust you boyfriend. Unless you're concerned with your own relationship, my guess is your boyfriend doesn't need you causing drama over it all. You're out and everyone is a little looser with a cocktail but that doesn't equate to cheating. Your getting all worked up is more symptomatic of your insecurities than anyone steal away your beau.
  • Aldente

    Posts: 22

    Apr 16, 2016 4:22 PM GMT
    Trust your boyfriend, but not the slut friend.

    Be honest, let your boyfriend know you do not like it if they get close.