How can someone make me feel so unworthy?! Need serious help. Pretty long read.

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    Feb 09, 2009 5:00 AM GMT
    What up? I'm new here so be easy with me. icon_cool.gif

    Since I didn't know with whom to share my problem, I decided to join this group and hopefully get some help.

    I'm 27 years old, 6'2" , well-built, white guy from Los Angeles. Like most of you, I frequent the gym a lot in order to take care of myself~ which is especially important here just because people are pretty superficial (and I can say I'm probably one of them..until~ well that's where the problem starts, so before I digress, let me continue my introduction...) I've dated a couple of hot young models and jocks around the area, and hooking up with them was never really a problem.

    Now though, I'm going crazy over this guy who is absolutely the opposite of what I've previously dated. He's Asian, 5'7" and lean (I see him swim in the gym where I work out). I know him because he just recently became my new boss (and everyone in my company's boss for that matter). At 23 years old, having just graduated his Masters from USC, he became the CFO of our company. Pretty darn impressive right?

    What attracted me to him the most is his personality~ so unassuming and humble. To think he's earning probably 6 figures at 23 yrs old. He's just sophisticated in the way he carries himself (showing he's raised in a good family and has had great education, unlike all of my past relationships, who are just shells). And to top it all of, he has a great look too.

    It's the first time I've fallen for an Asian, and can't believe how he makes me feel unworthy just to approach him. We've spoken twice (very briefly) and he's very smart and nice, and when he smiles, damn!

    His friends though are snobs. I saw them working out at the gym, and when I approached, everyone except him had this "Fuck off" look. (By the way, I've tried using good ol charms and sexiness, but it doesn't seem to work for him~ which makes him so much more unlike the rest.

    What am I to do? Fuck it! I though I was hot enough for everyone. How do I get him to notice me? ( He has a facebook and if I can, I'll grab some of his pics, and put em up here )
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    Feb 09, 2009 5:19 AM GMT
    No. Please respect his privacy and DO NOT post his pics.

    I generally think workplace romance is a bad idea, especially if he's your boss. But if you think there might be a real connection, then take it slow. Get to know him, preferably when his friends aren't around. If you think he has an interest in you, then try asking him out. He might say yes. Or he might say no. You'll never know till you try. But it might get awkward around the office if things don't go right. So keep that in mind.
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    Feb 09, 2009 5:34 AM GMT
    xrichx saidNo. Please respect his privacy and DO NOT post his pics.

    I generally think workplace romance is a bad idea, especially if he's your boss. But if you think there might be a real connection, then take it slow. Get to know him, preferably when his friends aren't around. If you think he has an interest in you, then try asking him out. He might say yes. Or he might say no. You'll never know till you try. But it might get awkward around the office if things don't go right. So keep that in mind.


    You beat me to it. Very good advice, especially about not posting his pics.

    Just think about what he would feel if he found out. Perhaps he or one of his friends is a member here. It certainly wouldn't make him feel warmly toward you, LosAngeles, and it might actually get you fired.
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    Feb 09, 2009 5:40 AM GMT
    I admire your cofindence you just need to get over it. if he is not interested he is not interested. This is the reality, hot or not, gay or straight.


    I find people least capable of dealing with rejection/ lack of attention are always the very attractive young guys. just be nice and see where it leads you.

    just chill.
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    Feb 09, 2009 5:41 AM GMT
    Wait is the guy your into gay? I'm just asking because you didn't tell us if he was or not. Also it sounds like you fell beyond head over heels for this guy. And dang thats impressive for a guy at the age of 23.

    But anyways, from the way you describe him he sounds like the type of guy who would fall for personality over looks.

    If I were you just try to get to know him more. If you want to break the ice, use your words not your looks. Approach him with confidence and sincerity and always make the conversation about him. Like your interested in learning more about him as a person. In addition to that you also want to listen to what he has to say because to be able to connect to anyone's heart you have to listen and learn about the value of that person. I know it sounds corny but listening to someone helps you learn a lot about things.
    A little attention while listening will allow you to know the person's likes and dislikes. This will help you to concentrate on pleasing him by doing what he likes like playing his favorite sports with a group of people ,eating at his favorite restaurant, etc. In fact anyone digs a sensitive person that is ready to listen to them.
    Also invite him every time you are doing a group activity or going somewhere that you think he might be interested. Even if he says no always keep the invites coming and don't get discourage. Also about his friends...try to win them over. How I don't know, make them laugh or something I guess. Other than that good luck. Also remember that everyone has their own value and that you shouldn't let anyone make you feel unworthy.
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    Feb 09, 2009 5:42 AM GMT
    metafor said
    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREIt's the first time I've fallen for an Asian


    Jesus...




    Now I know why I hate most gay men. Hopefully this guy stays away from you.



    so .... you are the one who gives the rest of us a bitter reputation.
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    Feb 09, 2009 5:44 AM GMT



    HeyLosAngleles112, the man has you feeling self-conscious. This can be a really good thing; you can grow a little if you look at these feelings as a maybe bit of self examination.

    Something about him makes you want to be a better man. That's the right stuff, I think.

    -Doug of meninlove
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    Feb 09, 2009 5:46 AM GMT
    I also agree with xrichx that office romance might get awkward if it doesn't work out so just be careful.
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    Feb 09, 2009 5:49 AM GMT
    meninlove said


    HeyLosAngleles112, the man has you feeling self-conscious. This can be a really good thing; you can grow a little if you look at these feelings as a maybe bit of self examination.

    Something about him makes you want to be a better man. That's the right stuff, I think.

    -Doug of meninlove



    meninlove your like Confucius. Always giving great advice. icon_smile.gif
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    Feb 09, 2009 5:50 AM GMT
    Are there no forums for personal/boyfriend problems/advice? When did RealJock become the gay Dear Abby?

    funny pictures

    funny pictures

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    Feb 09, 2009 5:51 AM GMT



    ...it's his first post Caslon...
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    Feb 09, 2009 5:54 AM GMT
    meninlove said


    ...it's his first post Caslon...

    That's why I was nice about it.
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    Feb 09, 2009 5:59 AM GMT
    When I said it was the first time I fell for an asian guy, its because its true. I've seen a lot of hot asian guys, so my comment wasn't meant to demean or insult anyone.

    But damn, when this guy came along, I fell pretty hard. He's just different. He talks with everyone, from the Owners to the maintenance people~ he doesn't exude an air of entitlement like most rich kids from USC do. He's just different, and that's what makes it hard for me, because I've enver encountered somone like that around here in Hollywood.

    I see him walk around the office a lot, talking to owners/presidents of other companies (I think because we're thinking of acquiring another firm)~ he holds his own very well. Then he turns around and jokes with his secretary.~ and that makes me admire him so much.

    His bestfriend Cary is a bitch though. I think she's being protective of him and she doesn't trust me. I want to get to know him SO badly but Cary always gets in the way.


    Doug: You said it! He does make me want to a better person.

    I need him to give me a chance to show him that Im not like the rest of young,blonde Hollywood guys. This is killing me.
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    Feb 09, 2009 6:02 AM GMT
    LOL Caslon


    I just love these threads that are started by people that have just created their profile and we never see them again and never see a picture. On the one hand I like the fact that the regular members try to help the guy out. That shows a good community on this site. Give yourself a pat on the back and a hearty handshake.

    but...

    Joining a fitness site and not talking about fitness but starting out with your problems? icon_rolleyes.gif How many of these threads do we see? Or better yet how many of these threads do we see in a week? If LosAngeles112 becomes a valued member here then great and I might feel bad for posting this. I know I can be a jerk though sometimes unintentionally. But I dunno. Maybe I'm getting a little jaded here...
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    Feb 09, 2009 6:03 AM GMT
    Caslon8000 saidAre there no forums for personal/boyfriend problems/advice? When did RealJock become the gay Dear Abby?

    funny pictures

    funny pictures



    LMAO...Sorry dude. I see how this can be annoying..i'd be annoyed to if this weren't happening to me first hand.

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    Feb 09, 2009 6:03 AM GMT
    metafor saidThe moment your face became the dictionary entry for condescension and stupidity.

    Hey at least I got a face.

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    Feb 09, 2009 6:10 AM GMT
    LosAngeles1127 saidLMAO...Sorry dude. I see how this can be annoying..i'd be annoyed to if this weren't happening to me first hand.

    I just dont know what you expect us to do for you. You obviously know the situation way better than we ever can. If you are half way intelligent, you can figure it out yourself. Duh! ...If you're not, then no amount of advice from a bunch of strangers is gonna help you. If you are just looking for attention, well...

    funny pictures
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    Feb 09, 2009 6:10 AM GMT
    growingbig saidLOL Caslon


    I just love these threads that are started by people that have just created their profile and we never see them again and never see a picture. On the one hand I like the fact that the regular members try to help the guy out. That shows a good community on this site. Give yourself a pat on the back and a hearty handshake.

    but...

    Joining a fitness site and not talking about fitness but starting out with your problems? icon_rolleyes.gif How many of these threads do we see? Or better yet how many of these threads do we see in a week? If LosAngeles112 becomes a valued member here then great and I might feel bad for posting this. I know I can be a jerk though sometimes unintentionally. But I dunno. Maybe I'm getting a little jaded here...


    wow... I didn't know it was prerequisite to post about protein shakes first and crunches, and share my cardio work out before I could ask for advice, or that I need to post a picture of myself first before anyone gives credence to my post. Is it because some of you need to see how hot I am first before you give me advice. Trust me you won't be disappointed,

    Somehow I didn't get that memo when I joined.





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    Feb 09, 2009 6:11 AM GMT
    LosAngeles1127 saidWhen I said it was the first time I fell for an asian guy, its because its true. I've seen a lot of hot asian guys, so my comment wasn't meant to demean or insult anyone.

    I need him to give me a chance to show him that Im not like the rest of young,blonde Hollywood guys. This is killing me.


    No disrespect. the first impression I had for this thread was "another blonde young hollywood gay guy", nothing wrong with that of course.
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    Feb 09, 2009 6:15 AM GMT
    LMAO. Caslon. Seriously where do you get this unending supply of animal pictures. lol.
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    Feb 09, 2009 6:15 AM GMT
    LosAngeles1127 said Trust me you won't be disappointed,

    funny pictures
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    Feb 09, 2009 6:23 AM GMT
    Caslon8000 said
    LosAngeles1127 saidLMAO...Sorry dude. I see how this can be annoying..i'd be annoyed to if this weren't happening to me first hand.

    I just dont know what you expect us to do for you. You obviously know the situation way better than we ever can. If you are half way intelligent, you can figure it out yourself. Duh! ...If you're not, then no amount of advice from a bunch of strangers is gonna help you. If you are just looking for attention, well...

    funny pictures


    Actually, the first five or six people who responded gave really good advice, which I absolutely appreciate.

    Yeah, maybe I'm not halfway intelligent., and that's why I'm asking for advice. Something that you are obviously incapable of giving.
    YOu would think that someone who is already 50+ years old ( or at least looks 50+) would be more mature. But maybe that's why they're still single, alone, and just old.
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    Feb 09, 2009 6:29 AM GMT

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    Feb 09, 2009 6:32 AM GMT
    LosAngeles1127 said
    Actually, the first five or six people who responded gave really good advice, which I absolutely appreciate.

    Oh, yeah, like dont invade the guy's privacy by posting his pics on the internet without his permission. I'm glad they got that tidbit to you in time!

    Yeah, maybe I'm not halfway intelligent., and that's why I'm asking for advice. Something that you are obviously incapable of giving.
    YOu would think that someone who is already 50+ years old ( or at least looks 50+) would be more mature. But maybe that's why they're still single, alone, and just old.

    Well, at least I made it to being this old. There is no guarantee you will.
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    Feb 09, 2009 6:35 AM GMT
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