RainBow_Dragon2000 saidAnd the age-old Response to that age-old joke is:
“What second date?”
You might think, oh his is just another internal gay-bashing post but hey if there are gay people coming on RJ and crying about coming up empty-handed every time they tried to maintain the date then There must be some truth to the old joke.
We all want to find that prefect one whom we will eventually marry and create a home together and share our eternity with them.
However a lot of us just can’t seem to meet the right guy or make the right connection and we always end up coming up empty-handed and stymied because many of us can't stop swiping.
As an openly gay man with almost 31 years of experience as a a gay man I have seen scores of single gay men who sabotage their efforts to find a partner because they keep placing so much obstacles in their own path and they don't even know it!
bottom line a lot of gay men just don't know what they want. it's like they wanna date you but they won't marry you or they wanna do you but won't date you. bottom line there is always something wrong and they can't meet with the right guy or make the right connection.
In my opinion, this pursuit of Mr.prefect everythin that by the way only exists in the figment of your imagination) is the biggest hurl that prevents some gay men from building a healthy relationship.
So stop judging and start lovin. Stop looking for Mr. right, and start looking for Mr. right now! cuz I tellya that damn clock is clickin!
THIS THIS THIS!!! RainBow_Dragon2000, you've hit it so hard, that I had to register an account on here to express what I'm going through!
Here's my situation in a nutshell:-The Beginning-
I met this guy online via gay app; he messaged me first, showing interest in me. I seemed to like him too, so we talked and talked for one week. He was really sincere to me and seemed to genuinely care about me despite us not even meeting. I really appreciated that; all of our text conversations were good. The next week, he wanted to meet me, so we planned to meet last weekend. We have 7 years age difference between us (I'm 31; he's 24).-The 1st Date-
When we met up, he was ABSOLUTELY delighted to see me, and it showed very much so...even I myself was shaken up. He thought I was handsome (as he said before about my profile pics), and he really treated me like an honorable guest throughout the entire date, giving me all the attention a guy (although I'm not officially out) could ask for. He was TOTALLY into me in EVERY way; it was beyond apparent...I had even joked about gay marriage, and he was like "well, we could try". I too, was very attracted to him, and after our date (went to eat dinner and walked in the park) ended, I went back home with my mind in amazement. I thought to myself "could he be The One?"; it felt so damned right with him and we got along like we were destined lovers. After that, I then deleted all gay social apps from my device(s).-Week after 1st Date-
This current week is indeed the week after our 1st date. The night we returned to our homes, we talked about the date, and he showed great interest in getting to know me more; pleased with his response (as I felt the same way), I also told him how I felt about our date without being too direct with how I truly felt (the long forgotten feeling of falling in love, not lust). I only told him something along the lines of "I thought to myself: Where have you been all my life?"...that's as far as I went with strong emotional responses. His last response in this subject was that he'll definitely think about whether he wants to be with me or not. He told me that our date was the happiest he had ever been in a very long time.
We messaged each other everyday of this week with basic everyday life messages, and I deliberately held back on anything regarding the result of our date (in terms of strong emotions). All of these conversations were text-based (not via gay app), and the texts were not severely long, as I tried to maintain proper limits by texting at different times of the day (don't wanna be a bore). We later arranged to meet again this coming weekend......however, as the conversation progressed, he mentioned that his friend asked him what type of guy was his "Mr. Right", and he told me that he responded to his friend by saying he doesn't know what kind of guys he likes. So, I think to myself "so, I didn't come to mind?"....not even a "I think I may be onto something".......it was just a blatant "I don't know what I like" coming from the guy who I just dated who was SO into me. It kind of hurted me to hear that, and I re-affirmed the notion by asking passive questions about his idea of a "Mr. Right" candidate. Eventually, I flat out asked him "I like you, but you're not sure if you like me, right?", and he said "yes".
This put me off emotionally by a great deal, and I eventually thought to myself, "maybe we cannot have a relationship...I knew this was too good to be true." I'm ready, and he's seemingly not, well at least after a few days after the 1st date. I can do nothing about the way he is handling this, as he is entitled to his own feelings. I fear that my time may be wasted.....we will proceed with the 2nd date later today, but this time, I will be more concise about my actions and words (to indirectly read him).........after the date is over, I will determine (within my own feelings) whether I should continue to pursue him or not for a relationship.
I understand that he may need time, and I will certainly see how well he stands up to the test of time before he either cracks or disappear. Results of the 2nd date will determine whether or not I will give him that time, as it could possibly be a total waste of mines.
This post is extremely long, as many of these love story-esque things tend to be, but I truly appreciate anyone taking the time to read this. Stay tuned, I will post the results of the 2nd date