Going to my first circuit party. What should I expect? (Update)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2016 12:48 AM GMT
    Update: I went and it was fine. There were plenty of drugs floating around in the open but I just drank bourbon. Had random guys grabbing and touching me the whole night which was ok at first, but became aggravating as the night went on. I thought there would be random sex acts happening around us but I didn't see any of that. Just a bunch of high, shirtless guys dancing. I was a little surprised that people didn't seem as happy as I thought they would be. Dancing and drugs should bring out the joy and fun in people in theory. But I didn't see many smiles or laughs unless a picture was being taken. So many guys just had a vacant stare on their face. But I guess we all show joy in different ways I guess.

    It was good to experience first hand to say that I have gone to one. Not sure I'll pay to go to another one again unless my friends/boyfriend really want me to go with them.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    I came out in my mid 30's and have never been to one. I keep asking really dumb questions like... "why are there so many 30-40 year olds going to a dance party still? I got that out of my system in my 20's." and "$80 for a ticket to dance!!??" and maybe the question that is the dumbest... "can I just wear regular shorts and a regular tshirt?"

    Any advice or ideas? I am TRYING to go with an open mind even though I am a pretty conservative guy. I don't like to dance (I know, I know). I'd rather spend $80 on a football game lol.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Apr 26, 2016 2:14 AM GMT
    I've only been to two, the White Party in Miami and the Lazarous in New Orleans, but from that perspective I'll comment (I've been to both multiple times). If you don't like to dance, don't go. I gather they used to be crazy/druggy but now they are just really great parties with really nice people raising significant money for charity, in the case of these two, local AIDS groups helping gay guys that need help. No one will exclude you for not getting in the spirit of the evening by wearing something more interesting than boring but why not put in some effort? And as to your perspective that dancing after a certain age suggests immaturity, well you should rethink that because you're consigning yourself to a life lived worrying about what others think instead of with energy and joy. Unless you just don't like to dance-- but don't presume to decide what is fun for others. Or appropriate.
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    Apr 26, 2016 3:01 AM GMT

    The 2001 Circuit movie is a good depiction. Although not exactly true for everyone's experience, all movies are made for or with 'entertainment value' and story line in mind.

    The entire time I did circuit on a regular basis, (10 years, 2002-2012), I never did any drugs, although there were a few times they were offered. This movie came out at the height of the circuit, when it was at its best and fullest, which was helped by the now cult followed series, Queer As Folk at the same time the circuit peaked. In the series, club Babylon was the premier dance venue.

    Everyone that survived the last 15 years, that were in their 20's-30's, are now at least 40 or 50+ years old. The known circuit DJ's, are well into late 40's early 50's as well. The prices can be explained as follows, in the beginning of the large dance party, which the gay community basically invented, most of these parties where charity events that rose out of the Aids crisis. Prices were kept affordable as it brought in crowds. Threw the years, the DJ's became household names within our community. (some go back to the post disco days). As the rise in popularity of the straight EDM music and its DJ's, they started making millions, upon millions without any charity. Our own circuit events and their prices started to rise as well.

    In April 2003, my first Palm Springs White Party I went to, the main event cost was somewhere around $30-$40. The other parties that weekend were like $10-$20. Today, the single White Party event is at least $120. Todays 20 something's cant really afford these, now too expensive parties

    You are in the perfect age group for the now circuit group, the ones who can still afford to attend (30-50). Depends on the theme of the party, White Party, you wear white, Black Party, you wear black..etc.

    Make sure you enjoy dancing and or can dance as this is the main focus of the party. I am not one to judge other peoples 'party favors' while partaking, I am a DJ by hobby and like to collect remix versions of popular songs, so I really enjoyed the music each DJ had to bring there own flair. I personally didn't need any drugs to have a good time, there could be some pressure to partake if the crowd senses you are a noob. One of my very first parties, someone spiked my mixed drink and I got sick at the end of the night.

    Tip: hold onto or keep focus on your drink, at all times, especially if its a open mixed drink. If you know you are going to be up all night dancing, like most do, start working out a few days before the event, that way you look and feel your best, confidence is the key, act like you belong their and above else, have fun icon_cool.gif



    [url]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circuit_(film)[/url]



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    Apr 26, 2016 3:16 AM GMT
    This was one of my last big parties I attended, July 4th weekend 2011. The first Matinee party (famous in Spain) in Las Vegas. I stayed at the Hard Rock hotel across from the host hotel Rumors in what's known as the "fruit loop" gayborhood.
    This video for 2012, was made from video from 2011, I still have my 'light saber' glow stick icon_razz.gif








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    Apr 26, 2016 3:24 AM GMT
    Just watch your drinks. Someone might slip you a roofie or some ecstasy. Also, be prepared to be grabbed, groped, and touched all night. icon_lol.gif

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    Apr 26, 2016 3:34 AM GMT
    woodfordr saidI came out in my mid 30's and have never been to one. I keep asking really dumb questions like... "why are there so many 30-40 year olds going to a dance party still? I got that out of my system in my 20's." and "$80 for a ticket to dance!!??" and maybe the question that is the dumbest... "can I just wear regular shorts and a regular tshirt?"

    Any advice or ideas? I am TRYING to go with an open mind even though I am a pretty conservative guy. I'd rather pay $80 on a football game lol.


    Well, Since I am a senior around here....what did I see when I attended circuit and other dance parties? How did i cope? lol

    -Hot sexy bodies all drugged up.
    -I never seen so many near naked men all in one place.
    -Unsafe stories and noticed how they loose most inhibitions.
    -The dance floor and hard ons. EPIC!
    -Some of the hottest dance moves imaginable.
    -Gay men having a good time. Appearances can be deceiving.
    -Do 100 push ups so you'll look beefed up!
    -Go in your underwear, with a hot jock underneath. Maybe a speedo.
    -Less is more if your in a hot club or on a beach.
    -Drink lots of water!!
    -Don't drink or do drugs. Trust me, you'll have more fun. They will all be in your control!!
    -Take a snack or even gatorade or load up prior.
    -Dance, Dance.....like there's no tomorrow. For some there will be none.

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    Apr 28, 2016 5:48 AM GMT
    You're black, old, and not very attractive. Expect to be ignored, unless some guys think you're a drug dealer or don't you read these forums?
  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    Apr 28, 2016 6:37 AM GMT
    Not4u saidYou're black, old, and not very attractive. Expect to be ignored, unless some guys think you're a drug dealer or don't you read these forums?


    I think he is incredibly handsome man. But more than that, he’s a beautiful, beautiful person. When I'm reading his posts I can sense that he’s very genuine. One of the best guys on RJ really. There’s nothing more handsome than a beautiful face,and a humble heart.
  • metta

    Posts: 39139

    Apr 28, 2016 6:53 AM GMT
    I have not been in over 15 years. I always went with friends. I don't drink or do drugs. I just went to spend time with friends and have fun. There were a LOT of people doing drugs. I saw some crazy stuff. The people doing drugs never looked like they were having fun to me. The biggest ones I have been to were the White parties in Palm Springs. We used to go to some smaller ones like there was one called Hooker in this old hotel in downtown LA.

    I have seen some crazy stuff in straight clubs as well. I went to this club called Hell in Hollywood once. That place was such a trip. Lots of S&M, people getting tattoos, a latex fashion show, and some of the outfits/costumes people would wear were amazing.
  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    Apr 28, 2016 6:55 AM GMT
    woodfordr saidI came out in my mid 30's and have never been to one. I keep asking really dumb questions like... "why are there so many 30-40 year olds going to a dance party still? I got that out of my system in my 20's." and "$80 for a ticket to dance!!??" and maybe the question that is the dumbest... "can I just wear regular shorts and a regular tshirt?"

    Any advice or ideas? I am TRYING to go with an open mind even though I am a pretty conservative guy. I don't like to dance (I know, I know). I'd rather spend $80 on a football game lol.


    Circuit parties typically attract middle class gay somewhat predominately white men of 30 years old and above and the reason for that is because The tickets aren’t exactly cheap neither are the outfits the hotels and booze etc hence why you don’t see many young guys there unless they are with their sugar daddies.

    You say you're a conservative guy So i'm not quite you're gonna enjoy These kind of events which basically revolve around lots of dirty dancing touching and grabbing and hookups drinking ridiculous amounts of alcohol and possibly "probably" drugs too. If I were you I would stay as far away as I possibly can.
  • Allen

    Posts: 341

    Apr 28, 2016 9:06 AM GMT
    Not4u saidYou're black, old, and not very attractive. Expect to be ignored, unless some guys think you're a drug dealer or don't you read these forums?


    Oh Lord. $50 bucks says this is that one4-something loser that was banned.
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    Apr 28, 2016 1:50 PM GMT
    Allen said
    Not4u saidYou're black, old, and not very attractive. Expect to be ignored, unless some guys think you're a drug dealer or don't you read these forums?


    Oh Lord. $50 bucks says this is that one4-something loser that was banned.


    I didn't make the truth. It just is. The gay community is as shallow as they come. You read these forums. Blacks are at the bottom of the gay totem pole. I didn't just make that up out of thin air.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2016 3:56 PM GMT
    Not4u saidYou're black, old, and not very attractive. Expect to be ignored, unless some guys think you're a drug dealer or don't you read these forums?


    Haha! I'm going with my boyfriend so luckily not worried about being hit on... although, I do ok in real life and even on here icon_wink.gif
  • mcbrion

    Posts: 305

    Apr 28, 2016 4:03 PM GMT
    Not4u saidYou're black, old, and not very attractive. Expect to be ignored, unless some guys think you're a drug dealer or don't you read these forums?


    That's crude and cruel. Only people who don't like themselves very much - or at all - make those kinds of comments. Perhaps you should re-think what you post: what people post on a forum says more about their psychological state of mind - the one they live with on a daily basis - than it says to the person they directed their toxic comments at.
  • mcbrion

    Posts: 305

    Apr 28, 2016 4:13 PM GMT
    woodfordr saidI came out in my mid 30's and have never been to one. I keep asking really dumb questions like... "why are there so many 30-40 year olds going to a dance party still? I got that out of my system in my 20's." and "$80 for a ticket to dance!!??" and maybe the question that is the dumbest... "can I just wear regular shorts and a regular tshirt?"

    Any advice or ideas? I am TRYING to go with an open mind even though I am a pretty conservative guy. I don't like to dance (I know, I know). I'd rather spend $80 on a football game lol.


    It's not a dumb question to ask about why people go dancing, although I never thought of dancing as something associated with an age. I love to dance. I loved it at 5; I love it at 65. It's never something I only did in clubs. I did it with friends growing up, sock hops in high school, parties in peoples' houses, took classical ballet and afro-jazz classes until I was 35. And outside of that, danced in gay clubs in the 70s and 80s (when I was also one of the first-generation djs). And then in the 90s (when I gave up dj'ing) and maybe one or two events the last 3 years, because the quality of music in clubs has declined. My last one was a New Years Eve Party in San Francisco (where I was a dj 30 years earlier) and decided to be back in SF for New Years Eve instead of here in Connecticut. It was just really loud and pretty disappointing, musically speaking. And even here on the East Coast, when I go to New York, I'm nonplussed at what people dance to. A drag queen of the '70s would be storming the dj booth and demanding he play something with some soul. But it's a different time and people don't complain about bad music these days. They just dance to it...

    My parents danced at their home parties, and they were in their 50s and 60s. Dancing is from the heart. I would no sooner want to not dance than I would want to not enjoy a good meal.

    And, as Snoopy once opined: "To Dance Is To Live!"

    Now, those $80 tickets….?!?!?!? That's a bit whacked. The music isn't even as well arranged as it was 40 years ago. I've been to some parties and it's just a wall of sound with music arranged by beats per minute, not by mood or style. I'd be more concerned about those kind of prices for that kind of music than the dancing part.
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    Apr 29, 2016 4:29 AM GMT
    mcbrion said
    Not4u saidYou're black, old, and not very attractive. Expect to be ignored, unless some guys think you're a drug dealer or don't you read these forums?


    That's crude and cruel. Only people who don't like themselves very much - or at all - make those kinds of comments. Perhaps you should re-think what you post: what people post on a forum says more about their psychological state of mind - the one they live with on a daily basis - than it says to the person they directed their toxic comments at.


    Everyone on RJ thinks they are a pop psychologist.
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    May 01, 2016 6:24 AM GMT
    mcbrion said
    woodfordr saidI came out in my mid 30's and have never been to one. I keep asking really dumb questions like... "why are there so many 30-40 year olds going to a dance party still? I got that out of my system in my 20's." and "$80 for a ticket to dance!!??" and maybe the question that is the dumbest... "can I just wear regular shorts and a regular tshirt?"

    Any advice or ideas? I am TRYING to go with an open mind even though I am a pretty conservative guy. I don't like to dance (I know, I know). I'd rather spend $80 on a football game lol.


    It's not a dumb question to ask about why people go dancing, although I never thought of dancing as something associated with an age. I love to dance. I loved it at 5; I love it at 65. It's never something I only did in clubs. I did it with friends growing up, sock hops in high school, parties in peoples' houses, took classical ballet and afro-jazz classes until I was 35. And outside of that, danced in gay clubs in the 70s and 80s (when I was also one of the first-generation djs). And then in the 90s (when I gave up dj'ing) and maybe one or two events the last 3 years, because the quality of music in clubs has declined. My last one was a New Years Eve Party in San Francisco (where I was a dj 30 years earlier) and decided to be back in SF for New Years Eve instead of here in Connecticut. It was just really loud and pretty disappointing, musically speaking. And even here on the East Coast, when I go to New York, I'm nonplussed at what people dance to. A drag queen of the '70s would be storming the dj booth and demanding he play something with some soul. But it's a different time and people don't complain about bad music these days. They just dance to it...

    My parents danced at their home parties, and they were in their 50s and 60s. Dancing is from the heart. I would no sooner want to not dance than I would want to not enjoy a good meal.

    And, as Snoopy once opined: "To Dance Is To Live!"

    Now, those $80 tickets….?!?!?!? That's a bit whacked. The music isn't even as well arranged as it was 40 years ago. I've been to some parties and it's just a wall of sound with music arranged by beats per minute, not by mood or style. I'd be more concerned about those kind of prices for that kind of music than the dancing part.


    +1


    The whole point of this movie, Footloose, and in some parts of the country in general that "dancing" was illegal, prudish and lead to "sex", and of course we know that in this movie, as in real life, religion and religious thinking people once again played a role into 'shaming', that there was something wrong or sinful with celebration by dancing to rhythms

    This film gets me every time because I think, oppression. This famous end of the film, these oppressed people "let loose", not sexually, not with alcohol or drugs but in an expression of joy. Music soothes the savage beast, its an art form, (also known as genres) therefore dancing is its own form of art. icon_idea.gif





    and of course........



    who could forget......

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    May 03, 2016 2:25 PM GMT
    DO let us know how it goes.

    Congrats on going to your first circuit party at 40. I STILL haven't gone to a circuit party and I'm from Miami, and I was so naive that until I was your age I thought the dress code for "The White Party" was white linen by way of "Brideshead Revisited."
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    May 03, 2016 2:57 PM GMT
    eagermuscle saidDO let us know how it goes.

    Congrats on going to your first circuit party at 40. I STILL haven't gone to a circuit party and I'm from Miami, and I was so naive that until I was your age I thought the dress code for "The White Party" was white linen by way of "Brideshead Revisited."


    Actually, white linen by way of "Brideshead Revisited" would be totally appropriate at the White Party. I'd say 1/3 to 1/2 are exactly that. The last time I went it was still at Viscaya and it was quite a beautiful site and sight.

    BTW, at none of the parties I've been to have I ever seen anything happen that you couldn't put on TV. The old stories of crazy drugs and rampant sex are just that-- old stories. Though I know it was true at one time. But not now.
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    May 04, 2016 3:47 PM GMT
    theantijock%20engage%20stalker%20reducti

    ELNathB saidThis was one of my last big parties I attended, July 4th weekend 2011. The first Matinee party (famous in Spain) in Las Vegas. I stayed at the Hard Rock hotel across from the host hotel Rumors in what's known as the "fruit loop" gayborhood.
    This video for 2012, was made from video from 2011, I still have my 'light saber' glow stick icon_razz.gif



    That looks like every weekend at Backstreets (a club where I used to play in Lauderdale many years ago before it was completely taken over by the str8s). They need a circuit party for that now? Oh well, enjoy.

    Not4u saidYou're black, old, and not very attractive. Expect to be ignored, unless some guys think you're a drug dealer or don't you read these forums?


    you're creepy and being clicked onto ignore. and people wonder why I've such a high ignore list count. Oh mystery of mysteries. bye.
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    May 04, 2016 4:02 PM GMT
    why do you guys act like notifying the person you just blocked does something? do you think they actually care? icon_lol.gif

    high "ignore list count" = emotionally fragile.
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    May 04, 2016 4:47 PM GMT
    CODY4U saidwhy do you guys act like notifying the person you just blocked does something? do you think they actually care? icon_lol.gif

    high "ignore list count" = emotionally fragile.


    How lame...

    for I wasn't speaking for myself but in the good cause of not putting up in silence with someone else flinging shit at another poster for no good reason.

    ...and hypocritical

    because you're flaunting that your opinion of someone else matters while stating that no one else should express how they feel.

    The online ignore click to me is like averting my eyes to roadkill and piles of dog shit. You denouncing that makes you look like a dog zigzagging from pile to pile to get a good sniff.

    Breathing in deeply the shit of others seems your nature = emotionally dead.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 04, 2016 4:55 PM GMT
    That incoherent jumble of words isn't an answer to the question. Psychotropic holiday?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 04, 2016 4:57 PM GMT
    CODY4U saidThat incoherent jumble of words isn't an answer to the question. Psychotropic holiday?


    inadequate comprehension skills?

    See if you can understand this:

    go fuck yourself.
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    May 04, 2016 5:06 PM GMT
    Ooooh, are we a little angry? Please don't threaten to block me, I don't think I'd be able to cope!