I want to die

  • umutlarim

    Posts: 15

    Apr 27, 2016 9:54 AM GMT
    Hi, I am 18 from XXX.

    Unfortunality, patriarchal society.I never want to change my sex.
    But ı dont know What am I? I have a small dick(11cm)
    And I feel insufficient.I usually want be bottom.But when I wanted it, I feel bad; I feel like a loser. because ı said patriarchal society.

    Be bottom is bad thing, really? Bottoms are not man? I enjoy masturbaste, bottoms enjoy it?

    Can tops be love, really? Or only use bottoms?

    In my country, If Heterosexsual men did not find women, they are searching gay/bottom. after the sex, they always say; FAGGOT !

    When I speak with my father, I see different myself, otherboys.

    I always say, Why am I? icon_sad.gif

    really, I think suicide. Please help me! I need it...
  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    Apr 27, 2016 10:18 AM GMT
    My heart goes out to you. Now that I have clarified that, can I just say that this world wouldn't be a speck worse off, if I were dead.

    Listen, what you're feeling and going through is very normal.
    There have been moments in my life when I had pretty much similar thoughts, myself?

    and honestly I don't think I could have gotten through the last few years without the support of my BF and a few good friends.
    f you are feeling this way then may I suggest trying to get some sort of counselling?
    while it may not work for everyone, for some it can be of great help.

    I really hope you start feeling better about yourself soon.
    I don't even know who you are but I wouldn't like it if you were gone.
    Good luck (-:
  • umutlarim

    Posts: 15

    Apr 27, 2016 10:33 AM GMT
    Rainbow, thank you so much.
    All people should be own.This is very difficult in a patriarchal society. I try be own. but now I am saying it after one day, ı say ı can't it. My thoughts are constantly changing.
    I want know What am I? I want to shout and be own..icon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2016 12:25 PM GMT
    NOTHING is wrong with you. If you're concerned about the size of your penis, think about female-to-male transgender men who may never be able to have a penis of their own. If you're concerned about being a bottom, think about the many gay tops who are capable of truly loving a gay bottom and are not fixated on their partner's penis size.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2016 1:22 PM GMT
    If we're being honest, bottoms are viewed as lesser men even within the gay community and even by other bottoms. I would also say "many gay tops" is inaccurate. I think bottoms outnumber tops by a long shot, and if we get into the "tops" that are actually versatile or bottoms in denial, there are even less. Actual tops know how sought after they are, so good luck trying to keep them out of every willing hole (which there will be lots of).

    OP, you have to decide if death is easier than living. I imagine you're from a religious country, and if you share those beliefs, you don't know what might be waiting for you on the other side if you off yourself. It also seems you're letting your sexuality dominate too much of your life, which is always dangerous.

  • Allen

    Posts: 341

    Apr 28, 2016 5:35 AM GMT
    DOMINUS saidNOTHING is wrong with you. If you're concerned about the size of your penis, think about female-to-male transgender men who may never be able to have a penis of their own. If you're concerned about being a bottom, think about the many gay tops who are capable of truly loving a gay bottom and are not fixated on their partner's penis size.


    Agree! I'm a top only (just my preference) and as long as you have a dick, I could care less how big it is. It's MY job to bring the dick of the appropriate size to the relationship!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2016 6:07 AM GMT
    DOMINUS said...If you're concerned about the size of your penis, think about female-to-male transgender men who may never be able to have a penis of their own.
    ...


    That's got to be one of the stupidest things I've read on RJ and God knows I've read some stupid shit. How's that supposed to give him comfort? There's always going to be someone worse off than oneself. His pain is his and his alone and very real. Just because someone has it worse doesn't lessen his angst.

    OP. The sad fact is that you're going to have to come to peace with your body. Your dick is what it is. At eighteen chances are it isn't going to hit a growth spurt. It is what it is. And yes, you and your penis will find someone who loves you for who you are and not your penis size. There's more to life than sex and penis size.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2016 8:34 AM GMT
    OP: You say you are 18? I could quote a ton of stats to you, but that would not help. Let me tell you this however: There is NOTHING on this earth that is worth taking your own life!

    As I read in a previous post someday you will meet someone that will care about YOU! Not the size of your penis. If size is all that matters to a person, then they do not care about you. Let them search in vain for someone to care about THEM! Love will come to you if you are patient! And yes, I know, you are 18 and hate that word! But hang in there... it will come to you!