I'm sick of this shit. I'm removing texts from my dating life. But how?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 27, 2016 4:51 PM GMT
    I am so tired of going through this same repeated pattern with guys: you meet them, then the whole 'relationship' becomes text based. 2-3 weeks into, for whatever stuck up, insecure gay reason you can think of...they evade questions pertaining to whether you and they are on the same page. Eventually they stop responding at all or very delayed...absolutely no regard for how you feel. And it's not even anything necessarily serious or overly deep. Just simple questions to determine what they want. So I can either be cool with it, or not cool with it.


    Like one example: this guy we haven't seen each other in 2 maybe 3 weeks. Just met once. But we've been communicating almost daily by text, usually him hitting me up. He went on a cruise, didn't even say bye or tell me which day he was leaving (which I still find suspect for someone, especially at 23 years old, to be going on a cruise for variety of reasons. But I didn't say anything) and then texted me out the blue because I was done with him and his funny games and wasn't planning on texting anymore. He's asking me when can he see me again. But yesterday, on his off day he says he's going to a museum and when I say I like museums and would like to go....he says, "you're welcome to join too". That's not even asking me out. That's doing your own thing. Had I never inquired and he never told me, I'd of never known.

    It's time out for this BULLSHIT. I'm seriously about to implement a new strategy and probably let them know from the get go: I will NOT Converse with you by text. If you don't call me or answer my call and have a conversation by the next weekend after our date: Ill consider the situation over. I just don't get it. If someone doesn't have any intention on having a real relationship, why carry on by text. Why do people need that drug? To me, discussing everything by texts indicates dishonesty and extra-dating affairs. I will no longer take these mother fuckers seriously who do it.

    Isn't everybody getting sick of this shit?
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 874

    Apr 27, 2016 6:13 PM GMT
    I doubt that anyone takes all of this texting business too seriously these days. If the stars align, you can have a NSA hookup deal within a relatively short time, at practically any time of the day or night. But that's pretty much all there is to it.

    People are bored sick with their lives. So, they are texting around mostly to make sure that they are still desirable for someone. The apps are for free. You have got a phone anyway, so why not get a little FOC ego-boost?

    A 23 y.o. dude may not be the likeliest candidate to take a firm initiative in anything vs. someone who is 5 years his senior. If you want to tag along, you are welcome. But he is not going overboard here. He has opened the door. You can walk in if you are interested.

    You met a guy once. You have not seen him in like 2-3 weeks. He sees this as non-committed, casual, totally non-binding friendship with or without benefits. Now, he goes on a cruise? Why would you think that he has to let you know about this? It is his life and his money. You never said, he owed you anything?

    SC
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 27, 2016 7:24 PM GMT
    Well, this might be the smartest idea you've had. I let people know upfront when I meet them that I will not carry on day after day solely via text. This is what I tell people: "If you have more than a sentence to say to me, I prefer you call me." So far, I've had great responses to this. Apparently, LOTS of people are sick of texting and are more than happy to go back to the superior method of communicating. This way, if they're upset about something or are feeling reluctant about doing something you can hear it in their voice right away.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 27, 2016 7:52 PM GMT
    SilverRRCloud said
    You met a guy once. You have not seen him in like 2-3 weeks. He sees this as non-committed, casual, totally non-binding friendship with or without benefits. Now, he goes on a cruise? Why would you think that he has to let you know about this? It is his life and his money. You never said, he owed you anything?

    SC


    Okay, good points but i realized i left out a few things. I added to my thread, we've been texting almost every day, mostly his initiating. We've discussed it's not just a causal fun friendship were having, it's an actual attraction there.

    He's been telling me about this cruise since we met. I knew he was going, but he just kinda took off went ghost to my messages and then came back a week later like, "hey you". I'm not getting hooked on him, but its just the whole process seems sketchy. I know when something isn't adding up.

    I'm not saying he owes me Anything. But how many 23 year old are going on cruises? He's left out who the cruise was with and what it was for. Just very vague. To me, unless it's like an older man retired, or a group of gay friends on a gay cruise, if he's going on cruises that's indicative of a possible committed relationship with someone. That's why I'm saying it's suspect.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 27, 2016 9:17 PM GMT
    Radd saidWell, this might be the smartest idea you've had. I let people know upfront when I meet them that I will not carry on day after day solely via text. This is what I tell people: "If you have more than a sentence to say to me, I prefer you call me."


    I would like to say that in person versus in text, because then it's like they just text back and continue on with their text pattern. Even guys who I have talked to on the phone sometimes to try and get them out of their text obsession...it's they either always act like they're in the middle of something and can't have a real conversation. One guy, every time I spoke to him on the phone, it was always a bunch of noise and commotion in the background. Finally, he just stopped responding to all of my texts and won't even communicate no more. I know he probably intended it to just be a 1 time thing, but he couldn't ever convey that to me by text or phone.

    I can read between the lines and fill in spaces, but I give the benefit of the doubt where it's not earned. And I'm stopping that today. It ends today. The guy just texted me a couple hours ago, I almost responded...but it was just "hey you", no fucking response to the question presented last night
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 27, 2016 9:31 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs28 said... implement a new strategy and probably let them know from the get go: I will NOT Converse with you by text...
    and wait in line for the new apple flip phone:
    apple_phone_2.jpg
  • badbug

    Posts: 800

    Apr 27, 2016 10:28 PM GMT

    People are flakes and society is making them flakier. Attention spans are shrinking and narcissistic tendencies and ideals are being encouraged and celebrated. You have all this on top of the stimulation addiction that online life provides and most people are walking around with a severe addiction that they don't even realize they have.

    It's a very bad time to be an overly sensitive thoughtful person. I am new to the whole gay thing but from all i've gathered hanging around here for 4 or 6 months or whatever, that it's even worse with men, who are already more likely to be on the shallow spectrum anyways. So you specifically are looking at a real uphill battle if you are going to continue to be so sensitive to these types of things.


    I've used this line before but i like it, it's from a movie and i can't remember what movie but it's something i try and remind myself when i am getting enraged or despondent over things like this:

    "it's vanity to expect people's best"



    You aren't really going to be able to remove texts from your dating life, you need to remove expectations from your dating life or atleast your reactions to ones that aren't met.

  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Apr 29, 2016 4:21 PM GMT
    Stop texting.

    Don't becone texting buddies with any guy

    Watch "coach corey wayne" videos on youtube to help you figure out what's wrong with your "game."

  • Fireworkz

    Posts: 606

    Apr 29, 2016 10:46 PM GMT
    glowstik saidStop texting.

    Don't becone texting buddies with any guy

    Watch "coach corey wayne" videos on youtube to help you figure out what's wrong with your "game."



    I had a watch. I like the Power of Walking away.
    Although he is a bit up himself.

    But yes know your boundaries and be prepared to walk away.
  • Jeepguy2

    Posts: 164

    Apr 29, 2016 11:06 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs28 saidI am so tired of going through this same repeated pattern with guys: you meet them, then the whole 'relationship' becomes text based. 2-3 weeks into, for whatever stuck up, insecure gay reason you can think of...they evade questions pertaining to whether you and they are on the same page. Eventually they stop responding at all or very delayed...absolutely no regard for how you feel. And it's not even anything necessarily serious or overly deep. Just simple questions to determine what they want. So I can either be cool with it, or not cool with it.


    Like one example: this guy we haven't seen each other in 2 maybe 3 weeks. Just met once. But we've been communicating almost daily by text, usually him hitting me up. He went on a cruise, didn't even say bye or tell me which day he was leaving (which I still find suspect for someone, especially at 23 years old, to be going on a cruise for variety of reasons. But I didn't say anything) and then texted me out the blue because I was done with him and his funny games and wasn't planning on texting anymore. He's asking me when can he see me again. But yesterday, on his off day he says he's going to a museum and when I say I like museums and would like to go....he says, "you're welcome to join too". That's not even asking me out. That's doing your own thing. Had I never inquired and he never told me, I'd of never known.

    It's time out for this BULLSHIT. I'm seriously about to implement a new strategy and probably let them know from the get go: I will NOT Converse with you by text. If you don't call me or answer my call and have a conversation by the next weekend after our date: Ill consider the situation over. I just don't get it. If someone doesn't have any intention on having a real relationship, why carry on by text. Why do people need that drug? To me, discussing everything by texts indicates dishonesty and extra-dating affairs. I will no longer take these mother fuckers seriously who do it.

    Isn't everybody getting sick of this shit?


    Stop carrying a cell phone.
  • Fireworkz

    Posts: 606

    Apr 29, 2016 11:40 PM GMT
    Just play them this